| Alarmingly Strange Stories |
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A Rat Ate The Refrigerator? |
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| . I shoved the key in the apartment lock, pushed the door open and headed for the refrigerator, drooling for the cold pizza from last night. I had been anticipating sinking my teeth in that juicy crust all the way home, rounding the kitchen curve there was a huge empty space where the fridge had been. Hot anger, righteous wrath, shot through me seeking a target. I yelled: "Keith you lousy junkie bastard, I'll kill you, you piece of crap" I listened for a response and heard "tubular bells" playing on his antique turntable and a pathetic whimpering just audible from his room. I flew through the lounge grabbing my sportsbag on the way and flung open his bedroom door. With intense restraint I said : "God I would love a piece of COLD juicy pizza right now and maybe wash it down with a COLD beer" Keith was locked in fetal position with a terrified look on his face, emitting sobbing moans, with his back on the wardrobe door. "Tubularbells", was jammed on a scratch and kept playing the same horrible notes over and over. "How much did you get for it ?" I asked disgusted "I…I…I…didn't sell it man, a huge rat ate it and its… in the wardrobe" It was at this point I lost my cool and lunged at Keith, dragging him away from the wardrobe giving him a couple of hard smacks around the face and a nasty punch to the short ribs. "Don't open the door, man" he moaned, not seeming to notice the fury of blows. Grabbing a truncheon from my sports bag I attacked Keith's miserable antique turntable and felt a surge of relief as the record disintegrated. Not being happy yet, I pulled the pump action shotgun from the bag and unloaded 2 fiery loud blasts in what remained of Keith's prize record collection. "Big rats in the cupboard eh?" I started to feel better. . |
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