Alarmingly Strange Stories
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I knew full well the fat little man would not appreciate a morsel of the cream-filled chocolate muffins. Just like he destroyed the ho-ho's, he would destroy the chocolate muffins. His blubbery body hardly gave a thought to what he was eating; he was just an animal not capable of appreciating the true delicious chocolaty creamy taste of the chocolate cream-filled muffin. Worst yet, because of his gluttony someone would be without their chocolate cream filled muffins. He was about to take those chocolate muffins away from someone; I didn't know who that someone was, but I was still haunted because… I knew they were out there. And I knew I could not let him get away with this. Slowly his fat arm reached out to the package of chocolate muffins, his sweaty hand quickly coiling itself around the package. The muffins were screaming inside their plastic seal. They knew full well they were meant to be eaten; but to not be appreciated, savored, truly enjoyed; their life would become meaningless. So they screamed in agony, hoping someone was nearby to respond. Luckily someone was. He started to peel away the plastic, the clock was ticking and it was time for me to act. My pace quickened as I began my descent upon the fat vulture, soon I was barreling towards him. As I ran the aisle erupted into a chorus of cheers and applause. The Milky Ways, the Snickers, the Lollipops, the Twix, the Tic-Tacs, all screamed in wild delight as they saw their self-proclaimed vigilante leap into action. As I ran I pushed my hands out to my sides, like I was a plane, catching the high-fives from the snack foods. The fat little vulture suddenly saw me hurdling towards him in the corner of his eye. His beady little eyes darted back and forth. His sweaty pot-bellied-pig body swiveled around and he began to run. So the chase began. There I was, rushing through the meat aisle after this fat portly man carrying a package of chocolate muffins. Every so often he would turn his jabba hutt head around to see how far away I was. We ran past all the cashiers, and I could hear the delighted screams of the Caramellos as I passed by. I was closing on him and he was desperate; but he knew exactly how to stop me. It took me a second to realize he was pelting me with chocolate muffins. First one to the face, then another to the leg, I tried to catch the muffins to save them before they fell. I was too late though and they shattered like glass against the tile, breaking apart. I could see their creamy white innards, spilled out all over the floor. I crouched down, cradling one of the muffins in my hand, soothing it. "Your gonna be all right little buddy, your gonna be all right," I said, trying to scoop his innards and stuff them back in. But he wasn't going to be okay, and I knew that. I knew all four of the muffins were about to fade away, and at that moment a tear leapt from my eyelid. Looking down I could hardly bear to witness the massacre. Four muffins, intestines spilled out onto the floor, split in two, lie there at my feet. Gulping a load of saliva, I slowly crushed each muffin with the heel of my boot. They didn't have a chance to live; and to let them crumble away slowly would be inhumane. Four muffins were gone, and more would soon disappear if I did not find the fat man quickly. I thought to myself, where would I least expect to find a short, fat portly little man.

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