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Lunatic Ravings - 09/03/01
By Stephen Johnson
Published each Monday and Thursday
Utopia---"Adventures in Utopia"
This past Saturday, me and my gal, Connie, decided to waste some time and visit Sam's Club located at 1910 East
Serene, Las Vegas, Nevada, 702-614 3372. She has a membership through the company she works for, which she paid
$20.00 in January 2000, so the card was paid through January 2001, right?
Not so, according to the Wal Mart way of thinking.
We had picked up a few items and at the check out, Connie was informed that the card had been revoked. No problem,
we were told, we would just need to visit customer service at the front of the store to find out what was going
on.
Yep, the card was revoked but, according to their computer, there was no reason why. Connie explained that she
had purchased the membership through her company, but the customer service lady didn't care.
Connie decided that since her membership was revoked, she should be entitled to receive the unused portion of her
membership fees. Again, due to the Wal Mart way if thinking, the only way a refund would be given would be if Connie
purchased a brand new membership. Huh?
The lady Connie dealt with was named Gloria. Just Gloria, since she refused to give her last name or was too stupid
to remember what it was. The store manager was named Bill, again no last name given. When Connie asked for a pen
to write down their names, they refused to give her one, but a customer next to Connie was nice enough to lend
her one. Hey, that's the Wal Mart way!!! They can force a cart upon you as soon as you walk into one of their stores
but they're too cheap to allow you to borrow one of their pens. Maybe that's why they can afford to have all those
falling prices.
Connie and Gloria went around with this for a while, then Gloria stated something along the lines of "Obviously,
you don't work for that company anymore."
Hmm, Gloria it's good that you are so fucking brilliant that you can stand there in front of a customer and make
an assumption that you have no proof on. Two can play that assumption game you know because I am almost sure that
you're a crack whore who would sell your body to the nearest sailer who had some pocket change.
And Gloria, Connie still does work for that same company. Isn't that weird?
What's obvious, Gloria, is that that little pea in your head doesn't operate quite correctly now, does it? But,
I have to cut you some slack because you do work for the Wal Mart family and they are known to hire complete idiots,
like the Wal Mart employee who told a customer that Bruce Li and Bruce Lee are the same person.
As for Bill, he advised Connie that there was nothing that they could do. Who knows if Bill was really the manager,
but that's what Gloria said so it must be correct. Or maybe it was one of her johns waiting around for a quick
fuck in the nearest broom closet. Maybe Bill was scared of Gloria because she did look like the type to go completely
ballistic and stick him repeatedly with a homemade shank. I can only assume, I guess.
Connie is going to send an email to Wal Mart, but that's kind of senseless since the person in charge of reading
the email is probably illiterate. We'll just have to see what happens and I'll post the results in a future column.
Good thing there's Costco because there's nothing better than buying items in
bulk.
COMING NEXT: I get an email from THE Miss
Cleo!!!
snide_remarks@weirdcrap.every1.net
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