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 Instead of writing about picking up hookers, I am going to
show you a way in which the youth of today can grow up to be productive adults, chock full of common sense.
I now believe that school zones are worthless. There is no reason why you should have to slow down to 10 mph just
because there are students walking around. If the normal speed limit is 65, then it should remain 65 even with
packs of kids wandering around.
A long, long time ago, I'm sure that Caveman Chuck didn't worry about Roland, his son, getting trampled by a rabid
brontosaurus. Chuck let Roland find out things on his own. Roland might have lost some fingers while smashing them
repeatedly with a sharp rock, but he probably learned that if he kept whacking his fingers with a rock, some pain
and loss would occur, so he eventually stopped and went on to some bigger and better things.
The same principle can be applied to the fork in the socket trick. No matter how many times your Mom warned you
about it, you still needed to stick a fork in the socket just to see what would happen. After you woke up on the
other side of the room with your hair still smoldering, you knew that you made a terrible mistake, yet you learned
from that mistake.
Someone decided that children are stupid and couldn't understand what would happen if a vehicle smashed into their
tiny body, so the school zone was established.
I say abolish the school zone and grade students on their street crossing skills, like they are graded on their
courtesy skills. Remember that parents are way too busy to teach their children the rudimentary skills. so I have
come up with a plan for every school to implement.
I am going to use the basic A thru F grading system along with a simple explanation on how each grade can be attained.
A = Student does not get hit by a vehicle.
B = Student gets grazed by a vehicle, causing a very minor cut or scrape. No school time is missed.
C = Student is hit by a vehicle, causing loss of a limb.
D = Student is hit by a vehicle, causing said student to be horribly maimed. For example, a horribly
twisted spine, which causes the other students to call him/her "Pretzel Spine".
 F
= Student is hit by a vehicle and dies.
Instead of going to the museum for a class trip, the students could go to a morgue and see the body of the wino
who stumbled and fell off the curb into oncoming traffic. The sight of a mangled wino will remain in their mind
much longer than a picture of a flower.
Okay, I have no idea how this would help a child become a productive adult. I just had to write something and this
was the first thing that popped into my head, which is clouded by lots of alcohol.
I go now.
COMING NEXT: Bring on
them hookers!!!!!!! |
