Chick Shit for Chic Chicks
06/13/01


Chick Shit!
by Melissa Paternik
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Write to Melissa!

  Ralph and I decided to paint our trailer since it hadn't been done for the past 10 years. We thought it was going to be such a simple job, but it turned out harder then we thought!!

Ralph went to the paint store and picked up the shade we agreed on, a bright yellow. Yellow is a happy color and we wanted to add a splash of sunshine to the trailer park!!

I got home from work at about 6 a.m. and, as soon as I walked in the door, Ralph handed me a paintbrush. I promised him that I would be as quiet as possible because he needed to catch up on his sleep.

Ralph had poured the paint in a huge bucket along with a few buckets of bleach. Since we don't have much time to clean, we figured that the bleach would give the paint a special dirt and stain fighting agent!!

I first painted the outside of the trailer. The paint/bleach smelled a little bit strange, but I figured that was normal. After putting the second coat on, I headed indoors.

Since it was quite hot outside, I closed all the windows and turned on all the fans. After taking a small break, started painting the living room.

I accidentally fell off the ladder when I was painting the ceiling and this woke Ralph. He was a little bit mad when he came out of the bedroom!!! He did calm down after I apologized and promised him that I would remain extra quiet.

I finished the living room and kitchen in a couple of hours and noticed I was feeling a little bit dizzy and nauseous so I went outside and puked so I wouldn't disturb Ralph.

When I was feeling a little bit better, I went back inside and started in the bathroom. Just to be extra safe, I shut the bathroom door so that Ralph could sleep in peace.

It didn't take me long in the bathroom, but I was feeling sicker than I did before. I thought that I was a bit dehydrated, so I drank a few glasses of water. This didn't help because I vomited all over the bathroom floor.

I cleaned up the mess and figured I could rest after I finished the hallway and the bedroom. The hallway took longer than it should have because I was dry heaving every five minutes or so, but I finally finished it.

I started on the bedroom, being extra quiet because Ralph was still sleeping. I managed to finish one wall before I passed out.

I was awakened by Ralph slapping my face. He looked very concerned when he asked me when I would be done painting. See why I love him so much??

I quickly finished the bedroom and cooked Ralph his dinner before I had to go to work. I was still puking up anything I ate or drank, but I guess it was one of those flu bugs. It hit me really hard the following day when I had to put the next coat of paint on, but our place, inside and out, is so bright and cheerful that I can live with the constant vomiting for a while!!!!

Bye!!

NEXT WEEK: I go to the local high school for career day!!


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