Chick Shit
01/31/01

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Chick Shit for Chic Chicks

by Melissa Paternik


I received a letter from Ralph asking me to bring him 2 cartons of cigarettes and some chewing tobacco. This was a couple of days before prison visitation so I had to figure out a way to smuggle this stuff into the jail.

I have seen many prison movies in my life and know that if I was caught, I would be thrown into prison and made into the wardens bitch which probably would not help me make my next payment on our trailer home.

I asked some of the other dancers how they brought stuff to their guys in prison, but I really could not get a clear answer. One of the girls told me I could just walk in with that stuff, but I know she doesn't like me too much and she probably wanted me to get busted.

The night before visitation day I had a wonderful idea. I bought a very large jar of Vaseline and some Ziploc bags that were large enough to hold a carton of smokes.

I dipped one of the bags containing the carton into the Vaseline and put it inside me. (I won't say exactly where, but it is a private place.) I also did this with the other carton and the bags of chewing tobacco.

It was very difficult for me to walk around and it was especially hard when I had to pee, but I knew it was for a very good cause.

The next day I went to the prison, frightened that they might do a full cavity search. But they just did a simple pat down and let me go into the visitation center.

Ralph was very horny and wanted sex so we got permission to go to one of the sex rooms.

As soon as the door was shut, we tore our clothes off and fell onto the metal cot.

I had completely forgot about the goods I had placed inside me until Ralph said he was having some difficulty in trying to enter me. We had a good laugh as I pulled out the cigarettes and chewing tobacco. We also had a better laugh when I found out that it would have been okay if I had brought the items in a simple paper bag.

NEXT WEEK: I visit the doctor!

Look for a new Chick Shit for Chic Chicks, each and every Wednesday.

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