tv announcer- "So sign up for a free quest today!"
Cutter(thinking)- A quest! Just what the men need!
Ember- I wanna come!
Scene- Cutter rushes to the phone. "Hey Skywise! Guess what! I just had the best idea! All the men of the holt can go on a quest! Yeah I know Treestump and Scouter went ballistic last time but this time it'll be diffrent! I promise. Now listen. You call Treestump, Strongbow, and Pike. I'll call everyone else. We'll meet at...........
Scene- Treestump is talking on a cell phone, Scouter is looking at a crystal ball, and Skwise and Strongbow are gripeing about how they had to get up early. Other male members of the trib are hanging around also. They look bored.
Skywise- I still think this could have waited until nightfall.
Nightfall miracuously shows up handcuffed to Redlance who is dressed like a hippie.
Nightfall- Did someone say my name?
Stronbow(sending)- No. Go away. (Nightfall dissapears)
Cutter shows up
Cutter- All right men! This is the big one. The one we've all been waiting for....(he stops as everyone begins to mimic him)Cutter- Grrrrrrr
Cutter- Ok did you all bring supplies?
Treestump- I brought a cell phone and a number for Dominoes pizza.
Cutter- We don't need a cell phone.
Scouter- I brought a cystal ball.
Cutter- We don't need a crystal ball.
Scouter- I'll take it anyway.
Pike- I brought the wine!
Cutter- We don't need wine.
Scene- Lettah and all the other women show up including Redlance who is still dressed like a hippie and is still handcuffed to Nightfall.
Lettah- We wanna come with ya. We're tired of being left alone all the time, you sexist creep!
Krim- Yeah!
Lettah- Besides you have to take Nightfall.
Cutter- Why?
Tyleet- Cause Moms handcuffed to Dad.
Redlance- Honey don't use labels.(Tyleet kicks him) OWWWWWWWW.
Nighfall- Redlance don't bother the child.
Tyleet- Who are you calling a child?
Redlance- Can't we all just......
Nightfall- Don't you dare start that "Why can't we all just ge along" speech.
Redlance- Yes. (turning to Cutter) I brought a years supply of Doritos and a walkman.
Cutter- We don't need Doritos and a walkman. (Redlance allready is listening to the walkman) I said we don't need a walkman. (He pulls the walkman of Redlance's head and smashes it. Redlance looks at him with this really sad expression on his face. Redlance then pulls out another walkman. He opens a bag of Doritos and starts eating.)
Cutter- Moonshade, you're a locksmith right? Get those handcuffs of them.
Scene- All the male Wolfriders are hanging out around the base of a tree.
Cutter- Hey Scouter! What do you see up there?
Scouter- I see.....I see......I see Dow Jones going down!
Treestump-AHHHHHHH! (He pulls out a cell phone and begins dialing) SELL! SELL!
Cutter- High Ones.......
Skywise- Cutter, what if we run into humans? We'll be killed!
Cutter- Don't worry. It'll be......... (a human shows up)AHHHHHH A HUMAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Scene- The men scatter except for Redlance who is still listening to his walkman. He walks along not noticeing where he is going until he smashes into something.
Redlance- OWWWWWWW. (he looks up at whatever he ran into. It's the human)
Human- Hey everybody I found a sacrifice!
Human2-Are you sure he'll work? He's kinda short.
Redlance- Who are you calling short? I'm average height!
Human2- He'll have to do. C'mon.
Redlance- This is all strangly familiar to me. If only I could remember. Stupid Now of wolf thought.
Human- C'mon elf. We have a sacrifice to prepare for!
Redlance- Oh goody. I can't wait.
Scene- All the male Wolfriders are panting and gasping for breath around a tree.
Skywise- Dagnabit! I wore out my Nike running shoes!
Cutter- Wheres.....um.....wheres....whats-his-name? That red-haired guy? The one whose allways shapeing the trees. You know...the wimp.
Rayek suddenly floats out of the sky with Ekuar right behind him.
Rayek- Just so you guys know the humans have a redhaired Wolfrider whom they are about to sacrifice. Is that important to you? Do you care?
Cutter- Not really, but if we don't bring him back Nightfall will kill us.
Skywise- And if we rescue him the humans will kill us.
Cutter- Uh......yeah.
Strongbow(Sending) Well we do need a treeshaper. And thats what this guy does right? He shapes trees.
Scot- Hey we get to battle with the humans! Cool!
Rayek- I have nothing better to do. Need any help?
Cutter- The more the merryier.
Skywise- He's scareing me.
Pike- Yeah me too.
Scene- The humans are dancing around a big rock. Redlance is tied to that rock.
Redlance- Yo Humans, could ya turn down the music a little bit please?
Human- Sure why not?
Human2- Curses! It's starting to rain.
Human3- Drats. Well we could allways take the party inside.
Redlance- Don't you guys know you should never have a fire inside?
Human2- He's right.
Human4- Hmm. We must have a party....
Scene- All the Wolfrider males are hanging around a tree plotting how to rescue Redlance.
Scouter- Man I bet the women are so worried about us.
Skywise- Yeah.......
Scouter- I miss Dewshine. Tyleet I don't miss but Dewshine.....
Skywise- I bet they're tearing their hair out they miss us so much.
Scene- All the Wolfrider women are hanging out in Leetah's den. Clearbrook is doing Ember's nails, Dewshine is brushing her hair, Tyleet and Nightfall are griping about their lifemates, Moonshade is admireing herself in front of the mirror, Krim is drunk, Khavie's there too and she's wasted as well. Arrore seems to be the only one who seems to miss the boys at all.
Leetah- I hope they never come back.
Ember- Me too.
Tyleet- Scouter is so annoying with all the future predictions and stuff.
Dewshine- Yeah.
Nightfall- Redlance just annoys me with that lets all be friends attitude. Makes me sick.
Leetah- Cutter's pushing it with this quest thing. Every day it's a new quest.
Arrore starts to cry.
Khavie- Whats wrong bird-face?
Arrore- I miss Skywise. (sniff)
Dewshine- Why? He's a creep.
Arrore- I lent him my sunglasses and he forgot to give them back!
Moonshade- AWWWWW. (she puts her arm around Arrore) Thats ok! We'll go shopping for new ones!
Scene- All the women are shopping. Moonshade can barely push her cart it's so heavy.
Moonshade- GASP. PANT PANT. (she wipes the sweat of her forehead) High Ones this is heavy.
Tyleet- Well maybe you should put a few things back.
Moonshade- NEVER!
Tyleet- Your loss.
Moonshade starts to cry.
Leetah- Whats wrong tanner?
Krim- Yeah? Whats up?
Moonshade- Strongbow would allways tell me what to buy and what not to buy. (sob) I miss him.
Dewshine- Why?
Moonshade- He has my credit cards! (SOB)
Shen Shen- AWWWWWW. I have an idea! Lets go home and cook. It' feminine!
Scene- They are all cooking.
Krim (who is cutting up onions)starts crying. Nightfall rips off her apron.
Nightfall- enough is enough! (she ducks in a closet and comes out dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess. )
Tyleet- High Ones have mercy..... here she goes again. Mom, your embarressing me.
Nightfall- AYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!
Leetah- Is this a mental problem? Can I heal this?
Tyleet- Yes. Leetah- Oh joy! I get to heal someone! Happy happy joy joy!
Scene- All the male Wolfriders are in breaking into the Human settlement.
Cutter- Psst. Skywise. Whats my line?
Skywise-(yelling) ATTACK!
Cutter- Gee thanks! Attack!
They are in the tent and see Redlance is the playing music. He's the dj.
Cutter- What are you doing?
Redlance- The humans wanted to have a party. I sent to you guys but all I got back was stuff about Skywise wearing out his Nike shoes. So I volunterred to be the dj.
Suddenly there is a loud AYIYIYIYIYIYI! from outside the tent. Nightfall bursts through the tent screeching. She is followed by all the females.
Tyleet- You said you could heal her Leetah!
Leetah- I couldn't get near her. She was waving that sword around.
Redlance- Oh no! Here she goes again! Honestly Nightfall, what do you think you acomplish by dressing like an idiot?
Nightfall turns to look at him.
Nightfall- Idiot? Did you just call me an idiot? I stay out in the dessert with you, rescue you from oblivion, bear your child, and remain faithfal to you and you call me an idiot?
Redlance(thinking) Great going Redlance. Now she's gonna come after you with that sword thing. Good-bye cruel world.(talking) Pike, you can have my spear, Strongbow you can have my boots, uh... who wants my headband after I'm dead?
Nightfall- I've missed you Squeakypoo! (She hugs him)
Everybody else- SQUEAKYPOO??????
Strongbow (sending) Can I have your boots anyway?
Redlance- Uh Nightfall I can't breath.
Winnowill walks up to the stand. She is wearing a black mini skirt and a black tank top.
Cutter- Hey Winni.
Winnowill- Wuz up Cutta? Yo Strongbow, wuz happen'in? (to Redlance) Now that we've seen enough of your love life would you please play the Macareana?
Redlance- Uh....sure.
Dart- After that song's done will you play the Poke'mon theme song?
Newstar- How about Britteny Spear's "Baby One More Time"?
Ember- How about "Whata Girl Wants, Whata Girl Needs"?
Dewshine- N' Sync's "Here We Go One More Time"!
Scouter- Yeah! That one!
Tyleet- Play that um.....that song. Whats the name? Um..........
Treestump- Isn't it past your bedtimes?
Newstar- Look O'l Guy we wanna listen to our music and you ai'nt gonna stop us!
Dart- Yeah!
Ember- Got that right!
Dewshine- You go girl!
Scouter- Say it Newstar!
Tyleet- What they said.
Cutter(to Rainsong) Definetly bedtime. (he carries a screaming Ember out the tent. Suntop, who hasn't said a thing the whole time follows quietly. Rainsong carries Newstar up and Woodlock takes up Wing. Strongbow grabs Dart and drags him to bed. Treestump guides Dewshine out of the tent.)
Clearbrook(shouting) Scouter go to bed! (Scouter goes)
Scouter (thinking)- soon, I shall have my revenge. Bwahaha! Nightfall- Redlance take Tyleet to bed.
Redlance- Must I? (he takes her up)
Nightfall(a feeble attempt to sing)- Yo humans it is now bedtime, this quest is past it's it's prime, you don't impress me and I'm gett'in bored, so ya human warlord, get a life, I'll stick my knife, in ya heart, hear my part, cuz we say buh bye now, what ya say we don't care about. Yeah!
(Outside the humans tent)
Newstar- We attack here here and here. Soon our rise to power will be complete. Bwahaha!