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From: masc1175@rohan.sdsu.edu (Generic Account 1175) While waiting for my
CS320 project to crash again, here's a little feeble humor in the spirit
of the "If other authors wrote B5" list found at
ftp.cco.caltech.edu. What if the arc were written/directed by... Joel and
Ethan Coen? - Frances McDormand would be cast as Ivanova. - M. Emmet Walsh
bothering Lennier in the Zocalo--"So Bill's walking down the
highway--that's Bill Parker, by the way--with his sandwich in one hand,
and the f**king _head_ in the other! Hah hah hah!" - Did I mention
_lots_ of head jokes? - Morden would first appear to Londo in a dream,
would wear two shotguns strapped to his back, and smoke thin cigars that
materialize out of thin air. - Lots of floor-level shots of characters'
feet. - The word "Hudsucker" would appear somewhere in every
episode. - Garibaldi would go to great lengths to protect his boss
Sheridan, and get the crap beaten out of him many times in the process.
He'd also be very concerned about losing his hat. Stanley Kubrick? - Each
episode would be two hours long, and take eight years to film. - Dialogue?
What dialogue? - The whole show would be shot using the Steadicam, with
lots of slow tracking shots, symmetrical compositions, and closeups on mad
faces. - Londo would often go to the Zocalo, drink Milk Plus, and exchange
loud, drunken stories with his favorite bartender, Lloyd. - Downbelow
would be full of gangs dressed up in weird costumes, speaking Nadsat, and
getting ready for a little of the old ultraviolence, real horrorshow. -
Sheridan would drink nothing but grain alcohol and rain-water, and be
convinced that the Shadows, PsiCorps, and NightWatch were conspiring to
fluoridate the water supply. - Kosh would really be an artificial
intelligence, who in the course of plotting a race-track heist, closets
himself in a deserted hotel and slowly goes mad and kills his drill
instructor, in this 18th-century period piece :-b - The entire arc would
end with destruction of Earth in a series of explosions, while Vera Lynn
sings "We'll Meet Again..." Cheers, -et -- Ernest S. Tomlinson
(masc1175@rohan.sdsu.edu) (et@ugcs.caltech.edu) Back
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