Subject: Employee Bulletin -- Foul Language No Longer Tolerated 
BULLETIN

To All Employees:
It has been brought to the attention of Management that some
individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal
conversation between employees.  Due to complaints from some of the
easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.

The Management does, however, realize the importance of each person
being able to properly express their feelings when communicating
with their fellow employees.  Therefore, the Management has
compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of
ideas and information can continue to flow.

OLD PHRASE                                   NEW PHRASE

No Fucking Way!                  I'm not certain that's feasible.
You've got to be shitting me.    Really!
Tell someone who gives a fuck.   Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I give a fuck.         Of course I'm concerned.
It's not my fucking problem.     I wasn't involved in that project.
What the fuck?                   Interesting behaviour.
Fuck it, it won't work.          I'm not sure I can implement this.
Why the fuck didn't you          I'll try to schedule that sooner?
     tell me?
When the fuck do you expect      Perhaps I can work late.
     me to do this?
Who the fuck cares?              Are you sure it's a problem?
He's got his head up his ass.    He's not familiar with this problem.
Eat Shit.                        You don't say.
Eat shit and die.                Excuse me?
Eat shit and die, Motherfucker   Excuse me, sir?
What the fuck do they want       They weren't happy with it?
     from my life?
Fuck it, I'm on salary.          I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Shove it up your ass.            I don't think you understand.
This job sucks.                  I love a challenge.
Who the hell died and            You want me to take care of this?
     made you boss?
Blow me.                         I see.
Blow yourself.                   Do you see?

Another fucking meeting.         Yes, I think we should discuss this.
I really don't give a shit.      I don't think it'll be a problem.
Fuck You.                        How nice.  How very nice.