When Star Trek Goes Wrong

• Captain's log: supplemental: oops.
• I blame number one
• Warf did it, damn dirty Klingon
• Beverly was wearing a distracting outfit, I swear!
• I'm French, I can do what I want
• Father told me to work in the vineyard, but NOOOO, I had to be a rebel! Damn the man!
• you can take the man out of the Borg...but you just can't take the Borg out of the man...
• I blame the droid
• The sun was in my eyes
• I failed parallel parking
• I'm just the captain, I'm not supposed to know how to fly. They didn't teach me that in captain's school. They just told me how to give orders, and look important
• My lack of hair impaired my judgement.... I need a toup
• Data gets the cat, #1 gets the counselor, Warf gets the dead chick on the space station...and all I get is the allusion at one time having the doctor...THE DOCTOR!!! I'll show them...I'll show them all!!!!
• My X-Men failed me... FAILED ME!!!! Oh wait, I'm having that hallucination again. My crew FAILED ME!!!
• I am Jean-Luc Picard of the clan Picard...SHIT...not even one I was IN
• FUCK!!!
• Tribbles got in the operating system
• Let's see, blame the Borg. Too obvious. Ferengi? Nah, they were gone after season 3. Vulcan? Too logical. Romulan? Nowhere NEAR the neutral zone. Rebels in the federation? YES!
• This white whale came out of no where, and then there were these three Christmas spirits and the next thing I know, BAM
• The gears stuck
• I'm the captain of the most powerful starship in the federation and I can't even drive a stick...
• *prancing around* I'm the captain...starship go down tha hole...
• Captain's Uniform... $50, Academy Training... $20,000, Crashing a Starship that's Worth More than my Career... Priceless.

• Captains log, #1 has gone insane. For some reason he's talking about a 3 hour tour, and is calling me Skipper...
• Jean-Luc, I don't know how to tell you this, but Wes is your son, and I'm suing you for child support. I want the ship, your vineyard, and your rank as captain. With love, Beverly
• Ever have one of those days where you felt like blowing up the nebula?
• I am the King of the Potato People!! Where's my tin-foil crown?
• Data...what are the odds of the crew finding out I'm completely insane?" "Captain, about the same now as you realizing you left the intercom on...
• The holodick is malfunctioning... wait, holoDECK... shit, I need to get laid.
• The ninjas are attacking!
• Just as I feared it would be...they're nerds, sir" "Are you sure, Mr Crusher?" "Yes, sir, we know our own.
• Holy SHIT! They're Trekkies!