Quotes
A small collection of quotes that have stuck with me. If you know me, you KNOW I'm crazy for quotes.
"A true friend stabs you in the front."~~Oscar Wilde
"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."~~Xander
"I mock you with my monkey pants." ~~Oz
"Love. It warps our senses and twists our souls... can take us past hope, past cure, past help. I know about love.. its suffering, its anguish, its pain. 'Heaven makes means to kill our joy with love' and yet, we must have it at any cost. But are you so enamored that you would overlook your love of life? Look into your heart and tell me if you are willing to make the choice."~~Lucien LaCroix
"They were filled with the Holy Spearamint?"~~Ariana and me
"Man has every aspect of a dog... except loyalty."~~ Becky B
"I don't tan. I don't burn. I implode."~~Nick Knight
"Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly donut, but my timing's impeccable."~~Oz
"Virgil! Get that thermometer out of your mouth. It's not that kind of thermometer!"~~Vera Carp
"No one's shot me in a long time. I don't like it. It ruins my wardrobe and doesn't do anything for my temper."~~Javier Vachon
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
"You're standing on my imaginary friend."
"Hasta la bye-bye"~~Don Schanke
"Party hardy!!"~~Carl Laneri
"How many Kappas does it take to screw in a light bulb? Eleven. One to do it, and ten to make the t-shirt celebrating it."~~Mark V
"Twenty Hail Mary's... promise you'll never go in there again."~~Nick Knight
"For God's sake, man. She's 18, and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."~~Rupert Giles
"Tipping isn't a city in China."~~X-Men: the Movie
"Eastman. He came from the East to do battle with the amazing Rando!"~~Crow
"Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong and disposable."~~Mrs. White, Clue
"No matter how much you think they're out to get you, you have no idea."~~Darien Fawkes
"Worrying is the Devil's favorite past-time."~~Anne, The Wisdom of Crocodiles
"Children, it had always seemed to me, have had a greater inherent understanding of many things than adults. As they grow up, this native sensitivity is smothered, buried, and destroyed, like someone pouring concrete over cobblestones, and finaly replaced by what we call knowledge. Knowledge, according to Albert Einstein, who spent a lot of time, incidentally, living with the Indians when he wasn't busy forgetting his bicycle in Princeton, New Jersey, is a vastly inferior commodity when compared with imagination."~~Richard Friedman
"Racking the dead leaves of the past is evil yard work. Whether you do it for two hours or twenty years, it leaves you feeling deader than the leaves you rake."~~Richard Friedman
"There's lots of doors swinging open and closed in this world, I thought. And there's lots of people in our lives leaving and entering doors that we cannot see. All we can hope is when the Lord closes the door, He opens a little window."~~Richard Friedman
"Home can be a pretty tedious place if you're not far enough away to begin to start to miss it."~~Richard Friedman
"For those few who find lasting fame within their lifetime, things can sometimes be more frustrating. If you think it's hard to live with who you are, try living with who you've become."~~Richard Friedman
"When no cards are left to play, even destiny can't shuffle the deck."~~Richard Friedman
"Wash your hands and say your prayers, 'cause germs and Jesus are everywhere."~~Richard Friedman
"Maybe we'll all have our fifteen minutes of fame. But time, of course, is the money of fame. And time, as Albert Einstein observed when he wasn't busy looking for his bicycle in Princeton, New Jersey, is relative. Therefore, my fellow members of the slide-rule club, my fellow passengers on this ship of fools, we are forced to draw the following conclusion: We may all have our fifteen minutes of fame, but Edith Piaf's fifteen minutes is likely to run on a little longer than Vanilla Ice's fifteen minutes. Nevertheless, when everybody's time anf fame has all run out and lovely Rita Meter Maid, Former Miss Texas 1987, finally waltzes up and embraces us at the end of the troubled dream, we will all die alone in hopeless, courageous oblivion like Gauguin or Tiny Tim. And when the end comes at last, each and every one of us will have at least one comforting thought as we fall through that timeless trapdoor: Albert Einstein is still probably out there somewhere looking for his bicycle."~~Richard Friedman
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."~~Lynda Montgomery
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"~~Warren Hutcherson
"I'm being chased by Walt Whitman!"~~Robert Sean Leonard, Dead Poet's Society
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