Untitled

(Crichton is sitting on the Terrace, staring out at the presently blank sky, save a few stars. He has spent the day wandering around Moya in a daze. We hear Zhaan’s voice over the comm.)
ZHAAN: (VO:) John?
CRICHTON: Yeah?
ZHAAN: I’ve prepared you some things for your journey, food mainly, and, uh, something to remember me by.
CRICHTON: Aw, Zhaan, you didn’t need to do that.
ZHAAN: Yes I did. I’m really going to miss you. We all are.
CRICHTON: Yeah, me too. Thanks. I’ll come by later and pick them up.
ZHAAN: Right. If I’m not there to say goodbye… well there's no harm in saying it now. Goodbye, John, and may the goddess guide you safely home. (Silence again, then a low humming noise as Rygel’s chair floats into the room. Crichton looks round to him as he hovers by his shoulder.)
CRICHTON: Hey, Sparky.
RYGEL: That’s Dominar Rygel XVI, to you.
CRICHTON: I know. What d’you want?
RYGEL: I thought I should at least say goodbye.
CRICHTON: Never knew you cared.
RYGEL: I don’t. It’s merely a matter of courtesy. Now you’re going there’ll be more food for the rest of us.
CRICHTON: (Giving him a friendly punch on the arm.) I’m gonna miss you too.
RYGEL: Well… safe journey then. (He flies off again, somewhat sadly. Crichton talks into his comm.)
CRICHTON: Yo. Pilot?
PILOT: Yes?
CRICHTON: Nothing. Just thought I’d say goodbye to you now, too.
PILOT: Moya and I thank you for a good journey. Moya especially wishes to express her gratitude to you for being so understanding… as an outsider. (Crichton touches the floor and Moya seems to purr.) Goodbye, John Crichton… we shall miss you.
CRICHTON: ‘Bye, Pilot. Same here. (More silence, then footsteps, as D’Argo, Chiana and Aeryn enter. He looks at them and stands up.) Ah, the Three Stooges. I was wondering when you’d show up. (Pause. It‘s awkward, and Chiana is the first to speak.)
CHIANA: You’re really going?
CRICHTON: Afraid so. You’re finally getting rid of me.
CHIANA: But… so soon? Can’t you stay a little longer? Give us all time to say goodbye properly.
CRICHTON: I want to Chiana, I really do. But if I don’t go today, I may be stuck here for another seven cycles. And I’m sure D’Argo wouldn’t want that.
D’ARGO: You got that right!
CRICHTON: See?
CHIANA: I know… I’m just trying to make you stay.
CRICHTON: I’m going to miss you, Pip. (He gives her a hug, then looks at D’Argo.) You too.
D’ARGO: (Shakes his hand.) Good journey, John. I’ll say goodbye to Jyothi to you.
CRICHTON: Thanks.
D’ARGO: I’m not very good at goodbyes.
CHIANA: (Sniffling:) Me neither. (After a pause, they engage in a spontaneous group hug between the three of them, while Aeryn stands nearby looking distracted. John looks at her over D’Argo’s shoulder, concerned, but doesn’t say anything.) Wow. Look at us, all blubbing like idiots.
D’ARGO: Speak for yourselves. Goodbye, John.
CRICHTON: Yeah. (They slowly and reluctantly leave, Chiana sobbing quietly onto D’Argo. Aeryn stays behind, but there is another long silence. John breaks it.) And you, Scarecrow, I think I’m gonna miss you most of all. (No reaction.) Sorry, that’s from-
AERYN: "The Wizard of Oz." You told me.
CRICHTON: I did? I don’t remember.
AERYN: You did. You told me the whole thing, word for word.
CRICHTON: (Remembering:) Oh yeah, I did. (A long, long pause. It’s getting awkward again. Then suddenly out of the blue…)
AERYN: Stay. (He looks amazed. She doesn’t crack, stays completely emotionless.)
CRICHTON: What?
AERYN: You heard. (She’s definitely not going to repeat it.)
CRICHTON: Yes. You asked me to stay. (Her warning look tells him not to push it, and at the same time, reiterates the request.) I wish I could, Aeryn. But I can’t. I have to go back. I’ve got a whole other life back home, a family, friends.
AERYN: We’re your friends, Crichton. All of us. Don’t we matter.
CRICHTON: Of course you do, you matter so much. (He doesn’t clarify if it’s a singular or plural ‘you’. It’s times like this I love the English language! The only clarification is in his tone of voice.) But I don’t belong here. It’s not my part of the universe. I belong on that glorious, smog-filled hell-hole that they call Earth. I’ve waited seven years to get back there and I don’t want to miss my chance.
AERYN: I understand that. I do.
CRICHTON: I sense a ‘but’.
AERYN: It’s like we don’t even get any say in the matter.
CRICHTON: What’s to stay. It’s not like I have a choice.
AERYN: Yes you do. You can stay here. With me… (covering:) and D’Argo, and everyone.
CRICHTON: No, I can’t, I-
AERYN: How do you know that Earth is anything like it was when you left? You don’t know if any of your family and friends are still alive. You might find that it’s changed so much that you don’t belong there any more than you apparently do here. There may not even BE an Earth any more. Seven years is a long time.
CRICHTON: Yes it is. A very long time. And I’ve considered everything you suggested just now and more, but one thing always tipped the balance.
AERYN: What’s that?
CRICHTON: Hope. (She’s about to say something but he cuts her off.) Don’t you dare. We all have to have hope, Aeryn… D’Argo had hope of finding Jyothi, Chiana holds onto the fact that she’ll see her brother again. And I know you want to drop your Peacekeeper image.
AERYN: I am a Peacekeeper.
CRICHTON: No, you’re not… not any more. You used to be, but (he puts one finger over her heart) you’ve gone soft.
AERYN: How do you know?
CRICHTON: I can see it in you. In your movement, your actions, your voice. In your eyes. (He punctuates this by staring very deeply at her. This is usually when I start to cry.) Plus, I’ve watched it happen over the years, and even though the others probably haven’t noticed, there’s no way I could have ignored it. (There is another long pause.)
AERYN: You’re insane.
CRICHTON: No I’m not.
AERYN: I didn’t come here to argue with you. (He looks at her, as though he suspects she’s done something and isn’t telling him.)
CRICHTON: This is the part where you tell me you’ve blown up my module, isn’t it… (Well it gets a smile, at least.)
AERYN: No. Chiana wanted to, but D’Argo wouldn’t let her do it. (She looks out at the same patch of sky that he was looking at before.) Is that where -?
CRICHTON: (Nodding.) According to Pilot, yeah. (Yet another uncomfortable pause. Something’s bothering her, and can’t you always tell.)
AERYN: John, when you were going around Moya earlier seeing everyone, you, uh… you didn’t come and see me. (He blinks at her.)
CRICHTON: I couldn’t find you.
AERYN: I was in my quarters all day.
CRICHTON: All day? Cos I’m sure I checked -
AERYN: Don’t lie to me. You deliberately avoided me… why? (He sighs and looks back outside.)
CRICHTON: Because I knew you’d try to make me stay. And I knew that if I went to see you before I saw Pilot to get his calculations, I would stay.
AERYN: And that’s so terrible, you have to avoid me?
CRICHTON: (Trying to make her understand.) I can’t stay, Aeryn. I’m sorry. There’s nothing keeping me here. (Oops. Too late. She visibly bristles and folds her arms defensively.)
AERYN: Really?
CRICHTON: I didn’t mean that…. Of course there’s something keeping me here. (He immediately envelopes her in a hug. After a few seconds she returns it.) The only thing.
AERYN: But, why - (She doesn’t finish her question because he puts a hand over her mouth.)
CRICHTON: Don’t you dare. (Then, over the comm.) Pilot? How long until that wormhole appears?
PILOT: Approximately two arns.
CRICHTON: Great, thanks, Pilot. Hear that? Two arns.
AERYN: So?
CRICHTON: So we’ve got plenty of time to say goodbye. (He walks to the door but she doesn’t follow. He holds out a hand.) You coming? (After a pause, she smiles and takes it as they walk off. Cut to:)

(Various shots of the two of them walking around Moya, talking. Some flashbacks to ‘those’ moments [better ones than in the finale, I could hardly tell what they were all from!] Finally, we see Crichton loading the module, and Aeryn standing nearby, watching. Then, when the last thing is packed, he takes a check. When he’s satisfied, he looks at Aeryn while talking over the comm.)
CRICHTON: Pilot, how long?
PILOT: Approximately ten of your earth dinnuts.
CRICHTON: That’s ‘minutes’… (It dawns on him.) You worked it out? Thank you!
PILOT: It is one of the many things you have taught me, John Crichton. I will never forget it.
CRICHTON: My pleasure, Pilot! (To Aeryn.) Well, I guess this is it.
AERYN: Yes.
CRICHTON: (Looking around.) Bye, Moya! Been a great seven years! (We hear that purring noise again. Then back to Aeryn.) And it certainly wouldn’t have been bearable without you.
AERYN: Stop it.
CRICHTON: No, I mean it. Right from my first moment here.
AERYN: I threatened to kill you.
CRICHTON: Yeah, that’s true… but after that it was all good. (Another smile, but it doesn’t last long.) I’m serious… thank you.
AERYN: (Matter-of-factly:) That’s all you’ve got to say?
CRICHTON: You know it’s not. (He notices something and moves towards her, putting a finger to her cheek, and bringing it back wet.) What’s this? Tears?
AERYN: (Ever in denial…) No. It’s… it’s… that frelling stuff Zhaan made. I think I’m allergic to it.
CRICHTON: You’re not allergic to anything! Well, unless you include heat… (Pause.) You’re allowed to cry, Aeryn. In fact, I’d be flattered if you did. (He doesn’t care whether she wants him to or not, he gives her a hug, which this time she all-too-gratefully returns.) You don’t know how much I wish I could stay, how much I wish I knew that my Earth is still worth going home to… but I don’t know and I won’t unless I go back. But, hey, maybe in another seven years, that wormhole will reappear and I’ll find my way back to the Uncharted Territories. You never know, they might even be charted by then!
AERYN: Whatever happens, you can guarantee that we’ll be here. (She breaks away from the hug.) I wanted to… I want you to have something.
CRICHTON: What?
AERYN: Well, all the others gave you a memento, so I thought… (she trails off, then searches about her person, producing the locket Chiana gave her, and holding it out to him.) Here. (He takes it and starts to open it.) No… wait until you get back.
CRICHTON: Why?
AERYN: It’s… embarrassing.
CRICHTON: I thought Peacekeepers didn’t get embarrassed.
AERYN: They don’t. (Note, she says ‘they’ and not ‘we’.)
CRICHTON: (He looks at the locket, then suddenly opens it without warning.) Wow.
AERYN: Crichton! That wasn’t fair! (He closes it again. I guess we’ll never find out what was in there.)
CRICHTON: This isn’t embarrassing, Aeryn. This is perfect, it’s so… you. Thank you.
AERYN: I just thought it might remind you of me.
CRICHTON: I don’t need anything to remind me… it’s not like I’m ever going to forget you. (Silence… after all these years, she’s still not used to this.)
PILOT: The wormhole is appearing. It will be fully formed in two dinnuts. (Crichton can’t help but smile at Pilot.)
CRICHTON: ‘MINUTES’, Pilot, and thanks.
AERYN: You’d better get going. (Now, there’s hesitation from Crichton.)
CRICHTON: I’ve still got half an arn before it closes.
AERYN: And it’ll take a quarter-arn to get there!
CRICHTON: It’s still plenty of time. (He looks at the now-closed locket and makes to put it around his neck, but she gets there first and does it for him… [ick… cringe… I’m shippy to a point, but be warned this gets a bit too sappy even for my liking.] She rests her arms on his shoulders and he puts his hands on her shoulders. Look out… it’s getting icky.) Aeryn, there’s one thing I’ve never said to you. You’ve never let me say it and I’ve always wanted to. I remember all the times I’ve tried and every time it was either after I was sure you were dead, or if I was possessed, or you just wouldn’t let me. I never wanted to lose you without your knowing… and now I AM losing you, so maybe… maybe it’s time I told you.(And we ALL know what THAT means...)
AERYN: You don’t have to… I’ve told you before, I know.
CRICHTON: I know you know, but I want to do this.
AERYN: No, you -
CRICHTON: Aeryn, I need to. I have to… I cannot leave here without telling you. Please, just let me do this. (She nods at him, her hands now around his neck. There is a deathly silence. All he manages, barely above a whisper, is:) Damn… I never realised just how difficult this would be. (He silently curses himself.)
AERYN: Just say it.
CRICHTON: (Staring deeply at her, he audibly sighs and tries again. [I have just read my original version and promptly gone “Yuk!”, but I’m leaving it in just because it was this line that was the inspiration in my head.]) I love you, Aeryn. I love you, and it hurts.(Not to ruin the mood, but I told you it was "yuk".)
AERYN: What hurts, John?
CRICHTON: Everything… having to leave you… knowing that in all likelihood I’ll never see you or talk to you again… and being in love with you… that’s excruciating. (OK, great, just added a new line… how the hell am I supposed to follow on from that?! Oh, of course, how about ‘Mr Bad News’ himself… our beloved Pilot!)
PILOT: The wormhole will be fully formed in a few microts. (Crichton snaps out of it enough to thank him, rather irritated at him for ruining the moment.. He says nothing else, just stands there with Aeryn, not moving from their stare-out kind of position, as though he‘s willing to let her go, but completely refusing to let go OF her, She breaks the silence.)
AERYN: Like I said before, I know. And if it’s any consolation, I’m hurting too.
CRICHTON: You are?
AERYN: I am. I’m hurting in a way I never thought was possible. (Crichton chooses this moment to act clueless…)
CRICHTON: Why?
AERYN: (Wait for it…) Because I love you, John. (There is a stunned silence. Then he finally gets it, and pulls her into the hug that was just waiting to happen, kissing her on the cheek in the process.. [See, now THAT I can cope with… it’s not cringe worthy, and it’s so damn cute that if it was real I’d be in tears by now!] They say nothing more, secretly praying for Pilot not to butt in again. Crichton seems happier, but also more depressed about leaving since this latest revelation. Then he thinks of something, and pulls back just far enough to hang the locket between their noses. He tries not to notice that she’s desperately attempting not to cry… and just about failing.)
CRICHTON: I said I’d never forget you… but you know what’d make me remember you even more? (She nods, and then kisses the locket, probably just to irritate him! He laughs lightly.) Wasn’t exactly what I had in mind… ([I’m reading on and‘”Yuk!”ing again. But I have to leave it in… it’s sort of sweet…] He hesitates only slightly before kissing her. For once, she reciprocates it, leaving him dazed and herself in tears… there goes her self-control.) That… oughta do it. (They walk hand in hand [cringe!]back to the module just as Pilot comes through on the comm again.)
PILOT: You must go now, or it will be too dangerous! (Crichton gets into the module and wipes away Aeryn’s actual tears with one hand. Just as he’s about to close the hatch he has an idea.)
CRICHTON: Come with me.
AERYN: What?
CRICHTON: Come back to Earth with me.
AERYN: I -
CRICHTON: Please?
AERYN: I don’t belong there.
CRICHTON: I just spent seven years of my life in a place where I don’t belong - it’s your turn.
AERYN: This is my home.
CRICHTON: No it’s not. We’re far from any Peacekeeper territory, and you’re not a Peacekeeper any more, you’re just a Sebacean with nowhere to go. (No reaction.) I’ve always dreamt of showing you home… my Solar System from a distance, Niagara Falls, New York City… Disney World.
PILOT: Commander Crichton! You must go NOW!
CRICHTON: I KNOW, already! (To Aeryn:) Well? (She looks at him, around Moya, out of the window and back at him again.)
AERYN: I am going to hate myself for this later! (She leaps in front of him in the module and closes the hatch. It flies off out of Moya, into the increasingly erratic looking wormhole. Cut to:)

(Moya, where the rest of them are completely bemused.)
D’ARGO: Gone?
PILOT: I’m afraid so.
CHIANA: Both of them?
PILOT: Yes.
D’ARGO: (To Rygel.) Why couldn’t he have fallen in love with YOU!?
RYGEL: Charming, I must say.
ZHAAN: Everyone stop bickering… who are we to interrupt the course of their lives? (They all agree. Cut back to:)

(Farscape 1. Aeryn is at the controls with Crichton holding onto her from behind… it’s reminiscent of Part one of “Look At The Princess.” How can you tell I've run out of imagination at this point?)
CRICHTON: Welcome to the rest of your life!
AERYN: Why did I let you talk me into this?
CRICHTON: Because you love me?
AERYN: Right now… I hate you.
CRICHTON: You’re going to love it! (Earth and some other planets come into view… she stares at them.) There it is.
AERYN: Which one?
CRICHTON: That little glowing blue one - you see? Just next to the red one? (I dread to think where the hell that wormhole was then :})
AERYN: It’s… beautiful… I would never have imagined.
CRICHTON: That’s just the half of it… wait ‘til you get down there. (There is a pause.)
AERYN: What will you do, if it HAS all changed, or if everyone you knew is gone.
CRICHTON: Well if EVERYONE’s gone, I know what we COULD do… (she prods him.) Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It won’t matter… All I’ll need is a little bit of Moya… and a lot of you. (Then, as in “Look At the Princess Part I”… well you remember the first scene, I’m sure… just like that, but WAY cuter… think bringing me to tears cuter... Black out and run credits… or whatever.)

Well I warned you it was bad...

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