TITLE: Light

AUTHOR: Gwinya (gwinya@hotmail.com)

DISCLAIMER: The words are mine! The commas are mine! And the quotations are mine! But, though it may surprise you, I do not own 'Roswell' or it's actors, storylines, and characters. Oh, the shame! The song 'Light' belongs to ME! I wrote it, I own it. No two ways about that. If you would like to use it for whatever purpose you want (why on earth would you want to do that? *grins*) please email me first and get my permission.

RATING: As of now, it's just a PG, but I know the story will wind up being PG-13, so I'll just say that.

SPOILERS: slight spoilers for River Dog and Blood Brothers

CATEGORY: Michael/Maria, although not much in this part.

SUMMARY: Michael, Max, and Isabel aren't the only ones harbouring a secret, and Maria has one that she'll protect, no matter what. In this part, not much happens, it's just a basis for the story.

DISTRIBUTION: My site (The Forbidden Kiss - http://www.geocities.com/roswellgwinya) will have it up pretty soon, and anyone else who would like to put it up, you're welcome to. No complaints here! Just email me the URL.

FEEDBACK: Please! If I get none, I'll have to kidnap Michael and run off to Barbados with him, where he will no longer be able to star on 'Roswell' (evil laughter). You wouldn't want that happening, now would you?

******~******

*Darkness inside the blinding glare,

A hidden secret lie,

Miles of room to fail

Misunderstanding me.

Left alone to bleed and breathe,

But no one cares.* - ‘Light’, Gwinya Black.

* * * * * *

The moon has risen slowly, a silver orb in the sky, lighting up the twinkling stars that seemed to grin as her in the darkness. Their smiles were playful, bordering on taunting, and Maria quickly turned away from the open window, pulling the heavy comforter closer around her.

Strange. It was a word that had presented itself to Maria so many times in the past month or so, being about the only word she could think of to describe her existence since that fateful day in The Crashdown. Strange. Such as small, insignificant word that encompassed so many large, life-altering experiences.

Aliens. She still had trouble getting her tongue around that word. Who would’ve believed that all-American beauty queen Isabel Evans, her quiet, love-struck brother Max, and unsociable, rebellious Michael Guerin would be part of a race that was Roswell, New Mexico’s basis for existence. And, if that wasn’t weird enough, Maria was starting to consider the three teenage aliens *friends*. It’d be a while before they’d start having slumber parties and painting each other’s nails, but what they had was a start.

Maria glanced at the clock on her nightstand and ran an exasperated hand through her short hair, that was most probably sticking up in inane directions.

“It’s 3:30am. I should be sleeping. I *need* to be sleeping!” she angrily punched at her flat, white pillow. With a sigh, she grabbed a scrap piece of paper and blue pen off of her small desk. She’d heard from Liz that writing sometimes helped cleanse and clear a jumbled mind, and Maria’s head was in dire need of a cleansing and clearing. But, since she knew she did not possess the patience to write out a three page journal entry on why her mind was refusing to shut down and let sleep take over, Maria decided to quickly jot down the reasons.

1. Too much on my mind.

Maria stopped and reread it. Crossing the short sentence out with one quick stroke, she began again.

1. Michael Guerin.

Quite possibly one of the main reasons of her insomnia. When she closed her eyes and concentrated, she could almost feel the pressure of his soft lips against hers, the slight, and surprising shudder of his chest under her hand, the surpressed desire that went far beyond any mere kiss. The heat emanating from that small space between them had been amazing, but the kiss had been over far too quickly, and an awkward silence had followed. When confronting him days later, it was like nothing had ever happened, the familiar hardness in his eyes like a painful slap in her face. It was at that moment, in the almost deserted halls of school that Maria had wondered if the surpressed emotions she had felt inside of him had been just a fleeting fantasy. He was what was keeping her up at night and it thrilled and exhausted her, physically and mentally. Maria had never felt so confused, or so liberated in her life.

The sound of a slamming door ricoched like a bullet around the house and Maria froze. Here came the second thing keeping her up at night.

“Maria!!” the slurred yell was followed by another loud bang and Maria exited her dimly lit bedroom, heading quickly down the hall to the front door. Her mother was nothing mood than a wobbling shadow in the darkened hallway, but Maria quickly found the slim, shaky arm and lead the inebriated woman towards her bedroom.

“Ish that ma Maria?” her acrid breath clearly smelt of alcohol, and Maria winced slightly, turning her face away and quelling the nauseous feeling in her stomach.

“Yeah, Mom, it’s me. How much have you had to drink?” she opened the creaky bedroom door and led her unstable mother to the bed, resting her on the pillows while she removed her shoes.

“Me? Drink?” her mother laughed loudly at this, eyes shining feverishly. “Never! I’ve ain’t never touched a single drop of alc.....alc....alc....”

“Alcohol,” Maria supplied, pulling back the sheets and helping her giggling mother inside the warm bed.

“Maria,” Amy DeLuca’s hand shot out and pulled her face close. “Daddy’s gonna come home. He’s jus’ away for a while. He’ll take care of us.”

“Sure, Mom,” Maria quietly agreed, heading for the door and closing it over.

“He’s coming back!” the half moaned sentence drifted to Maria’s ears as she walked tiredly down the hall and into her room. Closing the door, Maria once again crawled into bed, turning off the lamplight, sending shadows dancing around the small room. Now the stars really were mocking her.

‘You’re helpless, Maria,’ they seemed to laugh. ‘One of these days, Mommy dearest is going to drink herself into oblivion.’

Maria knew they were right. There was absolutely nothing on this earth that she could do to help her precarious mother, and it was a terrible, lonely feeling. Every night, she saw her mother leave to go drinking, and ever night Maria wondered if tonight would be the dark moment her mother wouldn’t return. Yeah, Isabel, Max, and Michael had a dangerous secret, one they would do anything to protect. So did Maria, a secret that not even Liz, her most trusted friend of so many years, would understand. And Maria was alone, watching the stars dance about until the morning sun had risen in place of the cold silver moon. And still, she looked on.

To Be Continued