Title: When Silence Breaks the Heart (1)

Author: Caitlin (SparkleGlittah@aol.com)

Rating: PG, so far

Spoilers: Heat Wave, just a little, but not really at all.

Category: Michael & Maria

Main Characters: Maria Deluca, Michael Guerin, Amy Deluca (Maria's mother)

Disclaimer: None of the characters thusfar are my property! They are a copyright of Warner Brothers and the author of the Roswell High book series, and of course the people who write the scripts for the show! Also, I don't remember who wrote the poem at the bottom, but I didn't write it!

Distribution: Whoever, whenever!

Synopsis/Summary: (Part 1) A speculation of what might have happened when Maria left after she stood up for herself against Michael. This is my first fanfic so bear with me for a while!

****** Part 1 ******

Maria ran as fast as she could away from everything. Away from Michael, away from Liz and Max, away from Isabel and Alex, away from the other couples inside the old building. Blinded by tears of hurt and rejection and loneliness, she opened the door of the car and climbed in recklessly. She felt cheap and dirty and useless, and she cared almost nothing when she bumped her knee once and her elbow another time. How could he have done this to her?

Why wasn't he following her? Why? He was just going to sit in there and feel sorry for himself?

She slammed the car door angrily, turned the keys and pulled out of the parking lot and made her way home.

The answer was simple in her mind. He didn't love her. In fact, he hated her and had used her. How could she have been so unaware of the truth?

She turned question upon question over in her mind, answering each one for herself, from what she knew and observed. She continued asking those questions even after she'd gotten home, where she shut the door to her room and cried.

****** ******

Michael hated himself for what he'd done. He'd known he was going to hurt her, and he had. He didn't understand any of it, he didn't understand his feelings, and he didn't understand his existence.

He'd thought about following Maria out to say something, but by the time he'd have been able to get up his courage, she'd probably be gone. So he sat there for a moment, thinking things over. Then he'd walked slowly back inside to sit somewhere by himself. With the music going, he wouldn't be able to hear anyone else, much less think.

But he had been able to think. Think that maybe he should just go back to not caring about anyone or anything else but himself, Max and Isabel, and their cause. He'd just go back to fighting with Maria and nothing else. That was all the caring he'd allow himself to do. And he'd find some way to keep Max and Liz apart. Their relationship was dangerous.

****** ******

"Maria, please!" Amy Deluca begged through the door. "What's wrong?" She tapped on the door and sighed, reaching her hand down to the door knob. Locked.

After a moment, the reply came, "Go away! I don't want to talk!"

Amy bit her lip. "We always used to talk, Maria! Always! Please let me in! What's wrong?" *And now my daughter is shutting me out of her life. Like she is right now, literally.*

"NO!"

She winced at the vicious reply. *Please, Maria!* she thought to herself and then said, "Maria, we need to talk. _You_ need someone to talk to."

Nothing.

"Is it something I did?" She asked quietly through the closed door. "Maria?"

"No, it's not!"

"Then what is it Maria? I hate this! You won't ever tell me anything anymore! What's happened to you? Please, Maria!" Her voice caught in her throat and she was close to tears. She bit her lip again.

"NO!"

"Maria . . ."

"No! I don't want to talk, and that's final!"

"But . . ."

"NO! GO AWAY!"

The last reply made Amy flinch again. Her ears still rung from the replies, but most of the pain was from her heart as it ached for whatever was wrong with Maria. She'd reached out, and everything had been thrown back at her.

"Maria?"

No reply.

"Maria?"

Silence. Heart-breaking silence. Unbearable, lonely silence.

"Maria, please, just open the door!"

A pillow was thrown towards the door from within, aimed with anger-powered skill, making for a loud thud and then a soft plunk as it hit the floor. Amy Deluca sighed. There was nothing she could do.

****** ****** ****** ****** Part 2 ******

On Monday, Maria sat in class, looking over at the desk that Michael would have occupied if he'd been there, instead of talking to Liz. Where was he, anyhow?

*Well, he never comes anyway, so what would you expect?* She sighed and stretched, then began taking notes, not even noticing that the teacher was staring at her and would have been wide eyed with mouth open if it wasn't for the lecture. Ms. Maria Deluca? Listening and taking notes? What has happened?

Just then Michael Guerin walked in and the oration was postponed. Maria looked up, annoyed at having had her note-taking interrupted. Liz, Max, Isabel and Alex all turned to look at her, and when she gave them all a look, they looked back towards Michael. Yet, when she saw who was walking through the door, she gasped.

Michael looked at her, regarding her coldly. His brown eyes somehow took away the effect, but the set of his features at that single moment made a chill run along her spine. She shuddered despite her attempt not to, and looked quickly down at her notebook.

Their teacher cleared his throat, "And what distinguished event has graced us with your attendance, Mr. Guerin?"

"Um, yeah. I just felt like learning I guess," He took the empty seat near Maria and glared at her before rumaging through the belongings he'd brought with him, and turning around to whisper something to Max and Isabel.

The teacher went back to his lesson, and resignedly Maria returned to her laborious task.

****** ******

When the bell rang, Max, Michael and Isabel slowly made their way out of the classroom.

"Michael, I saw that look you gave Maria. What happened between the two of you Friday?" Max asked, searching his friend's face for an answer.

"You know, she looked really upset. You should work on that," Isabel added to what her brother had said.

"Look, we got into a fight and with her being so sensitive and spoiled, she got her feelings hurt, nothing more, nothing less. Listen, Maximilian, it doesn't concern you or Isabel. So keep yourselves out of the whole thing, and Max, you should keep as far away from Liz as possible." He walked off, not waiting for either of them to reply.

"Something more than that happened, Max, and I know it," Isabel said, sighing, "He is right about you and Liz though, well sort of. I need to go apologize to Alex for what happened Friday." With that, she left Max wondering what she meant.

****** ******

Maria tried quickly to leave the classroom, but Liz caught up with her. "Maria! What is wrong with you? You wouldn't talk on the phone, like, all weekend, and your mom sounded so worried when she answered the phone! You didn't even care that Alex and I got arrested by Sheriff Valenti! And beyond that you actually took notes in class!"

Seeing the worried appearance of Liz's face, she stopped in the middle of the hall. Her face, which she'd tried to keep stoically immobile, let her down as it melted into a grieving look. "Michael," she muttered and looked away.

"Oh, Maria! I'm so sorry! What did he say to upset you? I mean I saw the look that he gave you today, but I know it's something more than that! I mean there has got to be some reason why he gave you that look!" Liz studied her best friend's face for a minute, searching for an answer.

Finally, Maria gave in and poured everything out to Liz. About the fight with Michael. About how she believed he hated her now since she'd tried to talk to him. About how she hadn't been willing to talk to her mom about anything because she'd been too afraid she'd say something about their secret.

"Maria, I'm sorry. I really am so, so sorry." Liz walked Maria to class and talked with her a little more before turning around and running to biology, walking through the door right before the bell rang.

****** ****** ****** ****** Part 3 ******

They were at the Crashdown Café, right after school.

Michael looked up at Maria, the usual displeased scowl embedded on his good-looking face. Why did she have the power to make him feel content and awkward at the same time? Well, he didn't like it and he was going to make sure he didn't ever let his feelings for her get out of hand!

"What? Need more tabasco?" Maria asked in mock sweetness as she looked over the empty bottles of the stuff. She was annoyed, angered, and upset with him. Another thing that bothered her was when he tried to ignore her.

Which, by the way, Michael never managed to pull off, due to Maria's talkative nature and inane ability to insult him at just the right moment. And, it might be added, her annoying him happened to be at that moment.

His scowl increased, "No," he said flatly, while managing to pull one of his trademark smirks. Before she could make a comment through one of her brash mannerisms, he remarked, "Now move so I finish without a stomachache." He made a small sweeping movement with his hand that was a worse dismissal than his words.

Both Isabel and Max Evans sat across from him, each giving him their questioning looks. Isabel, with one eyebrow quirked coldly at him, Max with both eyebrows lifted in surprise. Michael stared blankly back at them, his eyes narrowing slightly. That smirk played lightly across his face, giving only a twitch at the corner of his mouth and eyes. Amazingly, Isabel said nothing.

Maria stuck her tongue out at him while he was turned towards Isabel and Max, then rolled her eyes and walked away with an infuriated look on her face. They could hear her say, "Ugh!" when she was back over at the counter with Liz. "I can't believe some people!"

Max opened his mouth, but was cut off by Michael, "Don't even say anything, Maximilian. I don't wanna hear it. Got it?"

"Yeah, okay, sorry."

"If you like Maria that much, why don't you just _apologize_ and _ask_ her out!" Isabel let out an exasperated huff and inclined her head slightly to give him that unreadably chill look.

"It's not that simple, Isabel, and you know it better than any of us!" and with that the muscles along his jaw tightened. He had that glower on his face again and went back to eating his tabasco-coated meal. Michael was very pleased with himself when he noticed Maria glaring at him out the corner of his eye. So he was annoying her? He managed to keep the smugness from registering on his face. *Probably talking to Liz about it.* He thought irritably, shifting slightly in his seat and returning to that remarkable brooding state.

Isabel immediately noticed his awkward movements and quickly looked over at Maria. Isabel sneered knowingly towards Michael. He glared back at her and hunched over a bit to finish eating.

The three ate silently and when they finished, abruptly stood up and left, leaving Liz and Maria to discuss them.

****** ****** ******

****** Part 4 ******

"I still can't believe Michael did that to you! That was so mean of him!" Liz exclaimed when she and Maria were finishing cleaning up the Crashdown, as their three alien associates had been the last customers that evening.

"I couldn't at first, I mean, well, I mean that I didn't want to believe it. But seeing him today, I realize that it was really just nothing more than this physical ... attraction and, and, and d ... d ... "

"Um ... demand? Desire?" Liz suggested when Maria couldn't find the word she wanted to use.

"One of those, or both, I suppose. I mean, all we did was kiss and make out, and I wound up having to wear that shirt ..." Both she and Liz laughed, until Maria started crying. "He's not even worth it and I'm crying! This is so totally unfair!"

"Come on Maria. We know why you're crying. You liked him, maybe even loved him and he messed everything up and really hurt your feelings. It wasn't right for him to do that, but you know he can be a good person if he wants to," Liz reached over and handed her a napkin. "Here."

Maria nodded, "I think you're right. I just hope this doesn't go on forever. I hate it. I mean, arguing with his is fun at first, but it loses its satisfaction after a while. I just wish he'd let himself be the real Michael and just not the guy-who-doesn't-care-about-anyone. Know what I mean?"

Liz had a far-away look in her eyes, "Yeah. I know what you mean, or sort of mean. You just wish he'd let you know who he was. Or at least a little more than you know him."

"That's the whole feeling. I have this feeling he hates me and somehow loves me at the same time. I can't explain it, because, I mean, it's so strange ... and different," she sighed.

"Yeah."

"You know, you and Max belong together, Liz. I mean, literally, it has to have been written in the stars, or something. Seriously," She looked at her and smiled.

"But we've only kissed!"

"So? It just means that Max is taking it slowly! Look what happened between me and Michael! Would you want that to happen?"

"Well, no. That surprised me last week when I saw you and Michael in the Crashdown!" When she saw the stricken look on Maria's face she exclaimed, "Don't worry, I didn't watch that long! Where else were you doing that?"

"Well, you see, the eraser room is really good for those type of things," Maria said, trying to look like there was nothing wrong with making out at school, "Dark, secluded. Less chance of a teacher finding you. Conveniently placed."

"Whoa! Okay I really didn't need to know that!" They started laughing again.

"You know what, I actually feel better now! Anyhow, I'm really sorry, but I'd better get home before my mom thinks I've died or run away. Bye, Liz! And thanks!" She put away the cleaning items she'd used and hurried out the door to her mother's car.

****** ******

Michael sat with Isabel and Max in Max's room, discussing all things . . . alien'.

"Did you ever stop and think about how she would feel?" Isabel asked, annoyed severely by another one of Michael's bigot remarks.

"Ever wonder how I felt?"

"No, and I really don't want to. I don't even want to think about any of the sick and demoralized little thoughts and feelings that belong to Michael Guerin!"

"Maria is probably more likely to mention something now," Max said before Michael could come up with another retort that Isabel might find offensive.

"Well, if she does, I guess Michael will just have to go kill her," Isabel said sweetly.

"Isabel ..." Max warned.

"Max ..." she replied.

He was about to give her a look, when Michael broke into their little cautions between each other, "What's this? Some brother-sister thing? I thought we came here to discuss the damned FBI following us around and not my personal life or to play games!"

"Whoa, calm down, Michael. Just calm down," Max instructed slowly, "Just calm down."

"Well, Topolsky left, but we still have to contend with that other man. The one who was pretending to be Max's doctor at the hospital," Isabel said.

"You know, I really hate blonds," Michael remarked, very much off topic

"Look at my hair, Mikey, and learn not to make biased observations!" Isabel commented peevishly, glaring at him. "And anyway you're the one who brought up the topic of the FBI!"

Michael ignored Isabel and said, "We're going to have to do something about it. I don't know if we're going to have leave or find some way to get rid of this other guy, but ..."

"We are _not_ running," Isabel muttered.

"I don't want to leave either, Iz, but we've discussed this so many times that it's pointless to discuss it anymore. We might have to," Max told her.

"What are we gonna do? Run whenever something unbalances the life each of us lives?" Isabel demanded, "I don't want to live like that! I simply don't want to live like that! How would we explain it to mom and dad, Max? Answer that for me!"

"I can't, Isabel, and you know it. Things happen and change our existence," he said as calmly as possible.

She sighed, "You're right. It's just I hate this whole idea."

"Oh, and so, you'd rather be poked and prodded like animal in the zoo?" Michael jeered at her.

"No, Michael, I never said that. I just don't want to leave everyone that I've known my entire life to go somewhere that I've never been. I don't want to have to make new friends," she said

"I don't like this subject anymore than either of you do, so let's think of something else to discuss," Max stated a little nervously.

****** ******

To Be Continued