SPOILERS: The Curse, Nemesis
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: Bad, bad excuse for humour. Like all my humour stories, really!
SUMMARY: Jack is determined to take Sam fishing…
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Don't own Stargate (sigh), and I never will. It, and most of its characters, belong to the good, rich people across the pond, and they aren't going to sue, as I have no money, due to Christmas. (Which will be long over by the time you read this, but there we are. Hope someone buys me a pencil so I can still write…). Also, I didn't make any money, but if someone wants to send me large wads of cash, I am not complaining….
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is based on a real life thing, were I was tempted of the Internet with a promise of chocolate cake. And I didn't get any!! Not fair! This is based on the fabulous word a month site. If you don't know what it is then, then go to website.lineone.net/^wordmonth/index.htm. Come on people, join in, it's a good site! Feedback? Please? With cheese and a Tollan on top?
'Are you sure you don't want to go fishing?' asked Jack, a glint in his eyes. Sam threw her hands up in the air. Every time they had some time off, the Colonel always played this trick. It wasn't fair. She didn't even like fishing. She couldn't even see the point of hanging around a lake so that said fish could be gutted and killed. Carter, you're turning into an animal activist she thought to herself, mentally shaking her head. Jack put his head on the side, trying a cute puppy look. Sam shook her head.
'Sir, don't take this personally, but you're beginning to annoy me. Though your offer sounds lovely, I do have a few projects on the go. It's probably better that you go anyway. I'd annoy you. Really. Dad won't take me fishing because I always try to use scientific reasons why we might not catch a fish. When it comes to this kind of thing, I'm very 'glass is half empty'. You wouldn't want me there. Really. Take Teal'c' she suggested. Jack shook his head.
'Last time I took Teal'c he was at the point of zatting himself. I don't want to risk it. If he died, he would ruin the fishing mood.'
'Sir, I don't want to go. Really. I'm sorry. Now please, just get out of my office. I might be forced to kill you.'
Jack walked backwards out of the office, hands up in a surrendering gesture, and went back to his office to contemplate how to get Sam on this fishing trip…
Sam yawned and glanced up at the clock. She was shocked to see that it was nearly midnight, and she hadn't even realised it. She gathered up her papers and went to her private quarters to get changed and to go to sleep. She stepped out of her office, and a warm chocolaty smell pervaded her nostrils. She couldn't quite tell where it was coming from though. All of her life, Sam had been a secret chocoholic. No one had ever known about it, but she would get chocolate in any means possible. When she had a long mission ahead, she would smuggle some in her bra and panties. As a teenager, she had spent long hours at the gym to work off the fat that she gained from the chocolate. Although she wasn't quite so bad now, she would normally get through a least three bars a day. She was just lucky that it had no effect on her, probably a minor miracle.
But chocolate cake… well, chocolate cake was her real passion. She would only have it on special occasions to make it even better. The cake that O'Neill always kept in his house was normally enough to almost kill her. Triple chocolate. Mmmm. Her mouth was already watering at the mere thought of O'Neill's cake, She suddenly realised that the smell was close. Very close, in fact, and she hadn't moved. She looked down to the floor in sudden inspiration.
And there It was.
It was the cake of all cakes. O'Neill's cake, with chocolate sauce and a fork at the side. It looked untouched.
Now she really was drooling. The cake looked so tempting, so tasty. Her instincts were already yelling at her that this wasn't a good idea. At all. Who would be stupid enough to leave a cake on the floor?
But her teenage instincts were drowning out any other natural thought. Her only thought became: Get cake. Must get cake. So tasty, so chocolaty…
The cake had even been heated up. She noticed this when the top layer of the cake slid off. She whimpered, and finally let instinct take over. She leapt for the cake, not noticing the net that was underneath it. As she picked up the fork to taste the first piece of the delicious goodness, the net was triggered and came up from underneath her feet. Before she knew what was going on, she had been whisked off her feet, and was suspended from the ceiling, her face covered in chocolate sauce. Jack came round the corner, a smirk on his face.
'Now will you come fishing with me?'
Sam frowned, while absentmindedly trying to lick chocolate sauce of her nose. 'How will this make me go fishing?' she asked, confused. Jack grinned.
'Well, I have more of that cake, at the cabin…'
He didn't need to say anymore. Sam grinned. 'Where's my rod?'
Jack smiled. The best bait always caught the best fish… he just hoped Sam didn't bring a sidearm with her. That was the last piece of cake.
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