Picturesque X
It is a freedom I used to enjoy. With it, I would speak to my friends across the country and others. I would check my e-mail; I would update my website; I would peruse through other websites; I would preside over Unreal Reality: Codename ‘RiftWar.’ Now I cannot do many of these things.
I used to have the ability to be online for as long as I pleased; once school started I had to log-off by nine PM. Now, I only have two hours; two hours to interact with people I call my good friends; two hours to check my e-mail; two hours to update my page.
I feel as if I am being punished for a unknown deed. Have I disrespected my mother? Have I pushed my schoolwork and other activities aside and paid more attention to going online and speaking with my friends? I do not believe I have; my mother begs to differ.
And yet, the reasons she gives are incredibly absurd; one comes to mind: by being online, I disrupt the unity of the household. How is this possible? I am bothering no one when online and with my friends.
However, one reason has merit. She believes that by being online I am distancing myself from the rest of the household. This may be true. However, I feel that I go online because my family is already distancing itself from each other. I rarely have a conversation with my brother that does not end in an argument of worse; he is usually doing his own work or watching TV as it is. My mother, being a teacher, must bring her job home in order to keep up with it. If she is not preparing for the next day, she is busy with bills or dinner. So, then, where do I go to get the attention I seemingly so subconsciously crave? I go online, turn on my messaging systems, and “speak” to those whom have now become like a second family to me. Together we sympathize with the problems of others; we share in one another’s triumphs; we try and help when we can. And now my mother is threatening to take this away from me.
I suppose I will adapt. I can go online when my friends are online and plan accordingly. Hopefully my weekends will have no such limit; my father allows for unlimited time online as long as I am off his computer by ten PM. I can live with this.
I am not exactly sure why I am so angry and upset about this turn of events. Perhaps it was its sudden announcement; perhaps it was the absurd reasoning behind it; perhaps it was the fact that something I enjoy would become limited in use. Whatever the case, I have a right to feel this way, and I intend to.
