Illani’s Enterprise Reviews--Fall 2002

Well, first of all, I’d just like to say that I’m sorry.  I realize a lot of these were late, but I was dragging my feet about it, and who reads these things anyway?  I'm mostly caught up now, in any case.  The disclaimer is as always:  these are my opinions, not those of Paramount, the writers and producers of Enterprise, or anyone else.  Just mine.  So blame me.

Okay...so here they are, from most to least recent:

The episodes I'm still missing are "Catwalk" and the one where Trip and that alien almost die on the really hot planet (can't even remember the name).  I'll have reviews for them up asap.
 
 
 

5/21/03--Review for "The Expanse"  (Earth faces a new 9/11; Archer leads his crew into oblivion in more ways than one)

Sometimes, you start to wonder if Enterprise has the ability to surprise you.  Even if you stay away from the spoilers, as I have done this season, most of the episodes have a predictable nature...even the twists are foreseeable.

Not so this time.

I'm telling the truth when I say I stayed away from the spoilers.  Just as well that I did stay away...if I hadn't, I suspect it would have been a different experience watching this one.  It's not that I was getting all misty-eyed about the obvious 9/11 analogy, but of course 9/11 affected me, as it affected most people.  But far worse things have happened in history.  Enterprise's disaster--7 million dead--is on par with things like the Holocaust.  And it was this sweeping disaster, one of the likely victims of which was Trip's sister, which announced what could be an equally sweeping change for Enterprise.

One gripe we have heard over and over:  Enterprise lacks a mission.  Exploration is well and fine, but the show has lacked focus.  Strange indeed that the episode that may help to provide that focus was a bit unorganized itself.

In fact, what I find so intriguing is that this didn't feel like an episode--that is, it didn't feel like something that was meant to stand on its own.  It felt like one big setup, and more so than other cliffhangers we've seen.  I may be completely wrong, but it feels like this Delphic Expanse thing is going to be dominating more than just the season opener.  Somehow, Enterprise has turned a corner.  I'm not sure whether I like the new direction, or if I even know altogether what that new direction is.  But someone took out an electric cattle prod and jabbed it into the flank of a limping show...and for better or for worse, sent it carreening off wildly in a new direction.

Or maybe this is just temporary.  Maybe after an episode or two dealing with this problem, Archer and his band of merry men and two women will go back to their bland, unfocused mission of exploring the vast expanse (no pun intended) of the alpha and beta quadrants.  But I doubt it will be quite the same.  The third season is often one of change for the modern Treks (sometimes the change is good, sometimes not-so-good, if you ask me).

There was a lot packed into this episode.  There wasn't really a resolution of anything, apart from grand-daddy Duras getting blown up.  And even that could still have consequences down the road.  It's implied that once Duras is out of the way, the rest of the Klingons won't be offended enough to come after Archer anymore.  But I'm not so sure.  Well, we'll see, anyway.

But before you start thinking that this was a hit with me, think again.  Focus is a good thing, but you can focus on the wrong thing.  There's one big aspect of this episode which bothered me...but could be set right again depending on how it's handled in following stories.  It's the whole thing about their new mission:  to seek out and destroy those who dared to attack Earth.  Sound at all familiar?  Shades of 9/11 haunt this episode, but more than that, we are seeing Starfleet's policies suddenly mirroring that of our current hawkish government.  Case in point:  Archer.

His hard-line reaction could well be a setup for 'lessons' to be learned later, but as it is, Archer's reaction is rather disturbing.  He says they're going to do whatever it takes, without knowing any facts apart from what Future Guy has told him.  Not that I automatically think Future Guy was lying--only time will answer that.  But it's not about that.  It's about Archer reacting just like Dubya, Wolfy, and Rumsy and lashing out at the first target he sees.  Whether the target is the right one or not.

In comparison, Trip's reaction is more extreme, but in a way more understandable.  The probable loss of his sister is really clouding his judgment, and his anger is both natural and quite possibly misdirected.  A human reaction in the face of such a huge personal tragedy.  His anguish over his sister is one of the more poignant things I've seen on Enterprise so far.  Perhaps as things unfold, we'll see that both Archer and Trip re-think things...perhaps not.

In any case, B&B's strategy (if there is one) worked:  I'm tuning in next season, either to watch an exciting new turn or a total disaster.  But then, I would have kept tuning in anyway...the only time I gave up on Trek was in Voyager's seventh season, and even then I only missed three episodes.  *Sigh*
 

Rating:  ****3/4  Let me stress that this is a very difficult episode to rank.  In a way, it's scattered and unfinished, with very disturbing connotations and the potential to turn Enterprise in a direction I'd rather not see.  But on the other hand, it was emotional, exciting, and like it or not, it has the potential to change Enterprise in a fundemental way.  The question is this:  is that change one for the better or for the worse?  At this point, I truly cannot say.  What looks disturbing now could very well be a setup for exactly the opposite take on things--we'll just have to wait until next season to know for sure.  So I'll give it an imperfect rating and leave it at that, for now.  I might revise it after I've seen what comes next, because I really don't feel I can rate this as a stand-alone very well.  But at the very least, it was interesting.
 
 

5/14/03--Review for:  “First Flight”  (Archer’s friend dies while climbing a mountain and T’Pol gets to listen to the moaning)

Everyone hold your breath--it’s ‘double feature’ night, starting with ‘Archer’s best friend dies’ and finishing with ‘T’Pol’s in heat--let’s party!’  But first things first....

Yup, Mt. McKinley sure is dangerous.  Once more, I must wonder why, in this day and age, they’re not calling it Denali (“The Great One”).  The Athabascans called it that long before McKinley was a glint in his father’s eye.  Anyway.

Oh, great.  They’re sticking Archer and T’Pol together again.  Why do they have to keep putting the two people with the least chemistry together?  But judging by what we’re getting in the next one, maybe I shouldn’t complain too much.

‘Trip’ is from ‘Triple’ (Charles Tucker the third).  Aaaaahhhhh....  Okay, I should have seen that.  I can’t believe I didn’t see that.  I thought they just called him Trip because he was clumsy.  Well, not really.  Back to the show.

The story just wasn’t that interesting to me.  Maybe it’s because it was an Archer story, and I’m not big on Archer stories.  It’s a problem I’ve had since the beginning, to be honest, and though both Archer and Bakula have grown on me, he’s still my second least favorite of the main cast (guess who’s first...hint:  he sits at the helm).  But helm boy’s problem has been that he hasn’t got a decent amount of air time.  Archer, on the other hand, has had quite a few episodes which were supposedly dedicated to exploring his character and making him interesting.  But I can’t get past the fact that he’s not that interesting to me.  Give me Kirk, Sisko, Picard...or even Janeway any day.  Um, actually, take back that last part.  Give me Kirk, Sisko, or Picard any day.  And this coming from someone who’s not that much of a Kirk fan.  But at least Kirk had spark.  He was a sexist cowboy, but at least he was interesting.  Sisko was a deeply sculpted character with conflicts that were fascinating and controversial.  Picard was a diplomat, but also an archeology enthusiast, a great leader, and a Shakespearian actor.  Archer has yet to develop much of anything interesting.  He is an explorer, yes.  We’re hammered with that every week.  The Enterprise is out here to explore.  Yes, we understand.  We’re here to learn about new species and their cultures.  Yes, we get it.  In blatant terms, Enterprise is the most exploration-oriented of the five Treks.  But every one of the other Treks explored too.  They just didn’t shove it in our face so much.  DS9 sat in one place for seven years and did more human exploration than the other four series combined.  They did their fair share of other kinds of exploration too--we saw plenty of new strange and interesting species from the Gamma Quadrant and elsewhere.

But one thing that Kirk, Sisko, Picard, and yes, even Janeway had was presence.  When they were on the screen, my eyes were drawn to them.  When Archer’s on the screen, I try to watch but sometimes find myself looking away.  It’s not because I dislike him.  It’s because Bakula hasn’t developed that presence yet, and at this point, I have little confidence that he ever will to the same extent of Picard or Sisko.  To be fair, though, at the beginning of DS9’s run I didn’t think much of Sisko.  The commander of that space station grew on me over the years; by the fifth season, he was equal in my estimation with Picard.  By the sixth season, he’d surpassed him.

But enough about comparing Archer to the other captains; that’s something I’ll have the opportunity to do in the future, I’m certain.  Back to the episode itself.  Let me put it this way...if it had been Reed telling the story, I most likely would have been hooked from the start.  The same with Tucker.  But in the end, it’s Archer telling a bland story to T’Pol, and for some reason she seems a lot more captivated than I am.  Oh well...she’ll be making up for that in the next episode.
 

“You remember what Buzz Aldrin said when he stepped on the moon?”
“No.”
“Nobody does...because Neil Armstrong went first.”  --Archer and Ruby, and the eternal truth and tragedy of ‘second place doesn’t cut it.’  Unfortunate, but often true, in the eyes of history.

"Anyway, I’d rather wait for the NX-02...let you make all the mistakes so I’ll have an easy time of it.”  --Robinson to Archer.  Ain’t that the truth.

Rating:  ***1/2  Same as last week’s Borg-o-rama, but for entirely different reasons.  Last week, we were treated to a well-executed episode with a maddeningly awful premise.  This week, we were treated to simple blandness.  Nothing horrible about it.  Nothing great either.  Maybe I’ll try watching it again and see if it’s any better the second time.  Hey, it could happen....
 
 

5/14/03--Review for:  “Bounty”  (T’Pol goes through premature Pon Farr and scares Phlox to death while Archer is dragged off to answer for his dastardly crimes against the Klingon Empire)

Oooh, a Tellarite...goodie!  Yes!!!  He took Archer away!!!  For the whole episode, hopefully.  Hey bud, you do realize you’re welcome to keep him, right?

Oooh...that was harsh.  Okay, I don’t want him to keep Archer forever.  But at least he took him out of the running for the ‘who’s gonna bag T’Pol’ competition in this episode.  That’s good enough for me.  Now, let’s sit back and enjoy the carnage.

A curtain in decon?  What a novel idea.  Doomed to failure.  The gratuitous ‘rubbing gel on bare skin’ closeups are just as embarrassing as ever.  But at least it’s slightly different this time (Phlox is rather interesting under his shirt, don’t you think?).

Having T’Pol reveal the secret of the Pon Farr to Phlox is not a problem with me.  He assured her it would remain a secret, which would explain why Kirk and company still don’t know about it a century later.  Of course, none of this matters, does it?  Good ol’ Tholos spilled the beans already--way back in “The Andorian Incident.”  Oh well, maybe Archer and Trip didn’t hear that.

Malcolm, you’re a bad sport; come on, we know you like her bum!  No, actually, I loved the way Keating played that scene.  Reed being tough...oooh, I like it.  Even if he gets beat up by yet another woman.  But as we all know, Vulcans are very strong.  So I’ll cut Mr. Reed some slack.

Well, I’ll be honest.  I’m a bit disappointed.  In the end, T’Pol only had a go at Phlox and Reed, and a rather hungry look in Trip’s direction as well.  Of course, if she’d been in the same room with Trip, it would have been a different story.  I know, I know, what was I expecting from this anyway...but I guess I at least expected a bit more entertainment.  Well, actually, I expected it to be worse than it was.  A lot worse.  Let’s just leave this in the dust, shall we?

The Archer part of the plot...much more interesting than his role in the last one, thank goodness.  Here we go with internal continuity again--as in “Shadows of P’Jem” and “Two Days and Two Nights,” we are seeing direct consequences from a previous episode.  It seems Archer isn’t getting off scot free after getting out of Rura Penthe a few weeks ago.  Good.  It’s nice to see the writers taking some responsibility for their own universe, at least.  The bounty hunter seems like a bit of a dope...but nothing terribily obnoxious about him.

Actually, it surprised me how much of the 40 minutes was taken up by this plot, rather than the more publicized ‘T’Pol’s in heat’ story.  Not that I’m terribly upset about this...but I can’t figure out why they stuck these two stories together.  It was almost as if the writers just wanted to give Archer something to do while T’Pol flirts with the other guys.  I guess this is because, in Braga’s tortured and convoluted mind, T’Pol would pounce on Archer immediately, leaving the others in the dust.  Speaking for myself, I’m not impressed.  Listen to me, Brannon...it’s the second season, for crying out loud!  This kind of show doesn’t belong here (if it belongs anywhere).  Let the characters develop.  Let us care about T’Pol when she’s running her gelled up hands over Phlox’s back.  Let us care when she breathes hot steam onto Reed’s faceplate.  Let us care when she shoots a lustful glance that could kill in Tucker’s direction.

Ah, heck.  Can we just have a Hoshi episode?  Please?  Or a Reed one?  Or another Trip one?  Pretty, pretty please???
 

“You can either be quiet or spend the rest of this trip unconscious.  Which do you prefer?”  --The Tellarite to Archer...saying what I’ve often thought myself.

“Phlox to the Bridge...”
“Tucker here.”
“...you may want to evacuate D-Deck.”  --Just after T’Pol has gotten loose.

Rating:  ****  Both plots were undercooked.  The Archer plot was not terribly engaging.  The T’Pol plot was embarrassing and superficial.  But hey, that’s Enterprise.  The last three episodes ('T’Pol in heat', 'snoozy flashback', and 'return of the killer Borgs') have brought a grinding halt to the winning streak in my book.  Let’s hope we can get running again by next week, eh?
 
 

5/7/03--Review for:  “Regeneration”  (Archer encounters the Borg circa 200 B.P. (before Picard))

Well, I’ve been to the Arctic Circle...and it was actually quite pleasant.  Okay, so I was there in the summer--but so what?  Plus, I’ve just been to the Alaskan part of it; I really don’t know what it’s like elsewhere (but I’m pretty sure there isn’t any fake snow whirling around).  And polar bears?  Well, I’d be worried about Grizzlies too, unless they’ve gone extinct by that century.  Anyway....

For the record:  this episode mentions the Binars, seen in TNG’s pilot (“Encounter at Farpoint”).

Did Shiban have a hand in writing this?  The first few scenes bore an uncanny resemblance to certain sequences of the X-Files movie.  The scientists were just about as stupid about it too.

Okay, okay, I’m trying...I’m really trying.  I’m just going to put aside the fact that I’ve been dreading the appearance of the Borg on Enterprise and analyze the episode itself.  So, how was it?

Well, it was an interesting move to keep the main cast out of the running for what, the first third of the episode?  We saw the first familiar face (Admiral Forest) about 10 minutes in (excluding commercials).  The problem with doing this is that with the slight exception of Forest...I don’t give a cr*p what happens to any of these people.  You have to care about someone before you start biting your nails over what happens to him/her.

Then it’s the crew of the Enterprise NX-01 to the rescue!  Uh, sort of.  The new Borg recruits have escaped and...uh...for some weakly explained and shrugged aside reason they decided not to try to assimilate the rest of Earth, so they took off.  And since the Enterprise apparently hasn’t got very far from Earth in a year in a half, the Borglets are within chasing distance of our protagonists.

Just a couple of points.  Phlox using the term ‘nanoprobes’ irked me a bit.  They didn’t start with this until Voyager.  But even more galling, they have Phlox being able to treat partially assimilated patients, when they have trouble with that even in the 24th century!

I’m probably not the first to have pointed this out, but I can’t help wondering about the whole assimilation process as described in latter-day, ‘post-BOBW’ Borg.  In other words, the idea that the nanoprobes create this network of metal implants throughout a humanoid body.  I’ll go ahead and bypass everything else and just ask one thing:  where, exactly, are these little guys getting the raw materials to make these implants?  I mean, we’re not talking about microscopic implants, we’re talking about replacing renal glands and sprouting miniature umbrella skeletons on people’s faces...where are they getting all of this metal and silicon (or whatever else they’re using)?  I realize that the body is full of metal ions and molecules that are made up of quite a few kinds of elements...but come on.  I suppose it’s possible that so many nanoprobes get injected into you that they can use some of their own mass (sacrificing their little friends) to make up the implants.  But that would take a lot of nanoprobes.  In both BOBW and First Contact, we saw evidence that the Borg installed surgical implants and extensions (like mechanical arms, for one) into their new recruits.  But as the Borg legend evolved, the writers seem to have done away with that rather logical step.  Erm....  Okay, I’m spending too long on this topic.  Let’s just assume it hasn’t been thought through by the writers and leave it at that, shall we?

I find myself wondering why this was really necessary.  We’ve seen this all before.  Assimilation, adapting to weapons, nanoprobes, yadda, yadda, yadda, ad nauseum, yadda, yadda, yadda....  Seeing the Borg stick assimilation tubules into Phlox’s neck was only slightly unexpected, and it didn’t worry me in the slightest.  Yes, of course I like Phlox...but I knew he wasn’t going to be a Borg at the end of this episode.  So why care?  I knew they were going to come up with some cr*p about Denobulans being more resistant to nanoprobes than us puny humans.  I’m sorry for the little rant here, but this is all bringing back just a few unpleasant memories of a certain other Star Trek series (let’s be diplomatic and call it and say it sort of half-rhymes with ‘you’re a jerk’).

So this crash site is supposed to be the remnants of the sphere from First Contact?  I'm sorry, but I would have thought Picard would have noticed large fragments of the sphere heading for the Arctic Circle.  Shouldn't he have blasted them to smitherines to make sure there wasn't even a distant chance of a Borg making it down there?  Granted, he had a lot on his mind at that particular moment, but what do we hire weapons officers for anyway?  Come on, Worf, use your initiative!  Not that Worf could ever hit anything, mind you...and he was probably out of practice from his cushy command job on DS9.

An interesting point:  we got to see the Borg assimilating the technology of the ship for the first time (I believe).  Now we know how the gas turned green in the coolant conduits in First Contact.  Not that it makes any more sense now than it did then, but hey, it looks cool...and at least we’ve seen it happening.

Ugh...I hate angel hair pasta....

When I heard of the premise of this episode, the first thought in my mind was this:  okay, I can live with this, assuming it’s one of those ones where Archer and his crew don’t have any real contact with the Borg (unless it turns into a massive cover-up and they’re all sworn to silence over the matter).  But maybe I was being optimistic.  What we ended up with was a few lame lines about how this isn’t going to be a problem until the 24th century...so hey, we don’t need to give it another thought!  In fact, let’s not even put it in the history books, so that when Picard and his crew encounter the identical cybernetic lifeforms, they won’t have a clue that Starfleet has seen them before!

And don’t you dare try to use that ‘it’s okay because they didn’t learn the name of their species’ argument on me.  It just barely works for “Acquisition,” assuming they didn’t take any pictures of the little orange trolls.  But here, we’re not talking about four Ferengi trying to steal everything on the ship and getting humiliated.  We’re talking about what is obviously a deadly, unemotional species (other than Vulcans!) which is in possession of advanced technology and can take over not only ships, but people...and clearly poses a very real threat.  If this incident doesn’t make it into a very prominent status in the history books, something is very wrong.

The final conversation between Archer and T’Pol was meant to be a cute way to connect this episode to the events of TNG’s “The Neutral Zone” and later “The Best of Both Worlds”...but am I really the only one who saw it as just overly-obvious and gimmicky?  Anyway, I can just imagine the Borgs back home:

First Borg:  Hey guys, some of our scouts found this world of lifeforms that would be perfect for assimilation!
Second Borg:  So what’s so special about them?  Give me one reason why we should drop everything we’re doing over here in the Delta Quadrant and zip over to the border between the Alpha and Beta Quadrants just to assimilate one planet?
First Borg:  Uh, why are we speaking in terms of quadrants when that’s a human invention?
Second Borg:  Let’s not get into that; just answer my question:  why is this one planet so special?
First Borg:  Well, they like fighting, they breed like mad...and they’re kind of on the stupid side.
Second Borg:  Perfect!  Let’s send a cube over there right now!  It’ll take what, 200 years?
First Borg:  Just in time for Riker to say “Mister Worf...fire.”
Second Borg:  Ooohhh...those were the days, weren't they?

The original TNG idea was slightly muddled, but basically, the first we heard of Borg was indirect evidence, mentioned in "The Neutral Zone."  This was supposed to match up with what we saw later in "The Best of Both Worlds," with that huge crater where an entire settlement was scooped up.  Between those two episodes was "Q-Who," which is widely thought of as Q warning Picard of what's already coming.  But whatever happened to the Borg that supposedly raided the planets along the neutral zone is as much your guess as it is mine.  The fact is, the whole Borg story has been full of holes for a long time.  But there's something known as 'too much of a good thing.'  Or perhaps in this case, 'too much of a cheapened, watered-down version of what was once a good thing.'

Ahem, anyway....  What can I say?  In actuality, this episode felt more like one of later TNG or Voyager than most of what Enterprise has had to offer.  But is that a good thing?  I’m not sure.  The line “You will be assimilated; resistance is futile” was quite obviously supposed to make the hairs stand up on the backs of our necks.  But with me it was just another cheap device intended to take us back to the nostalgia of TNG’s Borg episodes.  The problem is, all it did was to remind us how good “The Best of Both Worlds” was in comparison to this drivel.  Okay, okay, so the episode had its moments.  I enjoyed Reed’s role in the action sequences, and the moment between Phlox and Hoshi was nice (but true to Enterprise fashion, nothing that would be considered spectacular by the standards of DS9).

But overall, it was just one more Borg episode...which I would say was one too many, had Voyager not crossed that particular threshhold years ago.  The camel’s back was already broken; this straw didn’t have anything left to break except the credibility of the Enterprise writers.
 

“You, of all people, should appreciate the value of technology.”
“I don’t have a problem with it, so long as it stays outside of my skin.”  --Phlox and Reed

Rating:  ***1/2  I don’t give it a totally miserable rating because I did genuinely enjoy some of the character moments, mentioned above.  But the whole premise was flawed to such a degree that I cannot give it a good rating.  It looked, sounded, and felt like a cheap ratings gimmick, and no amount of character or action can save that.
 
 
 

4/30/03--Review for:  “Cogenitor”  (Trip teaches an alien to read while Malcolm bumps his head)

My gosh, the teaser was more than 20 seconds!  My gosh...a peaceful first contact.

You know this isn’t going to last.

Actually, I was dreading this episode as an incredibly juvenile attempt at crude humor on the part of the writers.  But I was pleasantly surprised with the idea of the third sex being a ‘second-rate citizen,’ as it were.  I was drawn into this story in the first act after the somewhat bland teaser.  It was good to see ol’ Tomalak again, for one thing.

Reed got to embarrass himself, of course.  His chemistry with the female alien was okay, I’ll have to admit.  But nothing fantastic.  But then, this little romance was more for comic relief than anything else.  Reed certainly seems to like her bum, at any rate.  I couldn’t help but giggle when he bumps his head when she asks him to sleep with her.  Heh.  Cute, if a bit juvenile.

On the other hand, Trip’s chemistry with the cogenitor was quite good.  The scenes where he’s trying to convince her that she’s just as good as the other two sexes were tender and well done.  The cogenitor as a character really drew me in.  A good performance.

Heh, when the cogenitor asked to stay on the ship, the thought shot through my mind that she (or it, or whatever) might have been a good replacement for Mayweather.  Certainly more interesting.  I know, I know.....I’m so mean to poor Travis, but sometimes the truth can hurt.

The ending was sad, but poignant.  The moment was only slightly marred by Archer moaning about the child that wouldn’t be conceived.  I just thought that was a little beside the point, myself...now we’re worried about a child’s rights before it’s even conceived?  A bit much, if you ask me.  I'm sure it wasn't meant to look that way, but rather Archer was moaning about those poor parents not having their precious little child now.  Come on, we're talking about a sentient lifeform who just committed suicide, and we're worrying about a couple of spoiled brat would-be parents?  Of course, maybe their planet isn't overpopulated like ours....

Sorry for the rant.  Despite that one line, I thought this was one of the finest endings we’ve seen to an episode of Enterprise, and one that carried real emotional weight.  It's not just a simple solution that's easy to understand and makes everyone happy.  It was a messy, even bloody solution that was not easily arrived at.  Enterprise hasn't been good at that in the past, and it's nice to see some real emotional consequences that we are all involved in.  The cogenitor is dead, and Trip believes he is to blame.  So does Archer.  Technically, they're right...but we can't help but sympathize with Trip's point of view.  As I said, very well done.

“That’s not what I’m talkin’ about--this is a question of...human rights!"
“They’re not human.”  --Trip and T’Pol.  That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?

Rating:  *****  A perfect score from me does not necessarily mean that I wouldn’t have changed a few little things about it...but this episode was beautifully done despite any slight quibbles I might have.  The writing was stellar, the characters real and engaging, and even the pacing was excellent.  Moral ambiguity was used well here, and I found myself having to think about the complexities of the issues involved.  Little did I think when I saw the preview or read the promo for this episode that this would turn out to be one of the best...and in fact, I’m not sure it isn’t *the* best.  It stands alongside “Stigma” as one of my favorite Enterprises so far.  A very enthusiastic ‘well done’ to all involved.
 
 
 

4/23/03--Review for:  “The Breach”  (Malcolm, Travis, and Trip start putting the latter’s name into action in some caves while a North Korean refuses to allow Phlox to treat him)

Any plot this episode might have is superceded, of course, by the first appearance of a tribble since DS9’s fifth season.  Let’s all take a moment to reflect on the importance of this species within the Trek universe.

Done reflecting?  Good.

Now, on to the rest of the show.

Of course, one has to wonder what Phlox is doing keeping a tribble in his Sickbay.  Given the rate that they breed, plus the fact that there only seems to be one of them on board...I must draw the horrifying conclusion that Phlox is feeding them to his other animals!  Dang, he must have some Klingon blood in him somewhere.

Ahem...back to the rest of the show.

The stuff with Trip, Malcolm, and Travis going on the rescue mission was good.  Kudos to Malcolm for spotting the Denobulan tupperware container.  Double kudos for putting on the old geology hat and deducing which way to go.  Then they start playing ‘3 stooges’ with the climbing ropes.  Good thing Travis is willing to break a leg.

Then there was Phlox and his Antarran friend.  I can’t help but notice similarities between this situation and our current situation with North Korea.  “Every Antarran child is taught to revile Denobulans from birth” or whatever.  Nothing been done to reconcile after years intervening.  Sounds a lot like North Korea to me.  Phlox’s little outburst was a good move on the writers’ part.  It allows us to see that one of our beloved crewmembers isn’t perfect, either.

The A and B stories were reflected by each other.  The Antarran doesn’t want to be treated.  The Denobulans don’t want to be rescued.  The difference?  Well, when you get right down to it, there isn’t a difference.  Trip and Malcolm manage to convince the Denobulans to change their minds.  Phlox is willing to treat his patient against his wishes, but manages to convince him with some sappy stories about his brat of a youngest son.

I sincerely hope Archer was just bluffing when he locked weapons on the ships that were shooting at the previous regime or whatever.  Risking war to save three crewmembers and three Denobulans is a bit rash.
 

“Isn’t there a beginner’s cliff we can start on?”  --Trip to Mayweather.

“The will of the patient is a cornerstone of Denobulan medical ethics.”  --Phlox to Archer.  Interesting statement, to be sure, but it seems the reverse isn’t true (remember “Dear Doctor” and his refusal to treat the Valakians even when they desired it?).

“You don’t suppose Denobulans carry out everything they bring in?”  --Malcolm to Trip.  Er...let’s not go into the history of that statement.

“If you don’t start moving in the next 5 seconds, I’m gonna take my phase pistol and shoot you in the ass!”  --Trip to one of the Denobulans.  I’ve been waiting for that line to come out of somebody’s mouth.

Fun facts:
-Reptiles on the Tribble homeworld keep the tribble population in check.  Well, now we know.
-Phlox’s youngest son is called Mettas (sp?).
-Denobulans are very good rock climbers.

Rating:  ****1/2  It’s about time we got a North Korea analogy (if only a partial one).  The A/B story structure was put to good use here, and both plots were fairly interesting.  The end was a bit too predictable and wrapped-up, but I’ll forgive them, since it was a positive message in these troubled times.  *Sigh*  Somehow, I don’t see either Bush or Kim Jong Il being quite so forward-looking as Phlox and his Antarran friend.
 

4/16/03--Review for:  “Horizon”  (Mayweather comes close to escaping his mundane existence aboard Enterprise while Archer and Trip goad T’Pol into watching corny horror movies)

Here goes nothing:  the second crack at a ‘Mayweather’ episode...something which hasn’t been attempted in any serious way since last year’s “Fortunate Son.”  I’m still not pulled into this character or his backstory...and for good reason.  The poor guy has had less meaningful screentime than some of the guest stars, for crying out loud.  I did enjoy his discussion with his former playmate/sweetheart/whatever.  These two have chemistry, something Travis hasn’t had with too many characters, unfortunately.  The rest of the Horizon story was pretty hum-drum and slow.  Yes, I felt sorry for Travis when he and Archer talked about his father’s death...but this was followed up with rather bland and predictable storytelling.

And then there’s the B-story.  They finally have Trip and T’Pol playing off each other again.  In my humble opinion, these two have humongous natural chemistry, whether they’re biting each others’ heads off or trying to form a shaky friendship.

Mind you, the continuing Archer/T’Pol insinuations were a bit annoying.  Now he’s taking her on a ‘date’.....whoopee.  Maybe someday Berman and Braga (and whoever else is responsible) will wake up and realize that these two have little to no chemistry, sexual or otherwise.  Oddly enough, the trio of Trip, Archer, and T’Pol interacting together is often interesting and well-played.  Case in point:  the dinner scene after the movie in this episode.  The three-way chemistry was evident.  It’s just when they try to stick Archer and T’Pol together in juvenile attempts at what the writers think of as ‘romance’ that strikes me as tacky.

T’Pol’s observation that perhaps reading Mary Wolstonecraft Shelley’s novel instead of being subjected to the movie was probably a sound one.  The book and the movie are nothing alike, and if you ask me, Shelley’s work is by far the superior.  But that’s just my opinion.....and it wouldn’t have been as fun if they’d used the book.

T’Pol’s lesson drawn from Frankenstein seemed to surprise both Archer and Trip, but I wonder why.  I have drawn this theme from Frankenstein quite readily, as have many others.  I suppose Archer and Trip thought of it as just a horror movie?  Or perhaps as man’s folly in attempting to put a stopper in death?  (Thank you, Professor Snape).  I always found the most profound message in Frankenstein was man’s often violent rejection of those different from him--without leaving a chance for explanation or mercy.  But despite my wondering about how much Archer and Trip have thought about this, I’m glad T’Pol brought it up in the way she did.  Interesting.

And finally, the C-story--that is, the exploding planet--was captivating merely for the effects involved.  I don’t judge a show by its effects, but these were beautifully done and I applaud all involved.  Okay, enough sucking up....
 

“Yes, well they’d better post a psychologist on board, because I’d need one with my parents roaming the corridors.”  -Reed to Mayweather.

“Don’t be surprised if you see me here afterwards...I’ve little doubt that my headache will return.”  -T’Pol, regarding her upcoming trip to movie night.

Rating:  ****1/4  A bit of a slump in the string of pretty good episodes we’ve seen lately.  I enjoyed parts of both plots, and I’d have to say that overall I enjoyed the ‘T’Pol is forced to watch Frankenstein’ subplot better than I enjoyed the more serious Mayweather story.  I’m not convinced that Mayweather’s lack of character or interest has anything to do with Anthony Montgomery.....but neither can I say I’ve seen a really fantastic acting moment from him as of yet.  As I said above, he was at his most genuine at two points in this episode:  when he was talking to Archer about his father’s death, and when he was interacting with his female bunk-jumping friend.  Speaking of which, it would be cool to see her back at some point, seeing as how she gives Travis a bit of spark.
 
 

4/9/03--Review for:  “Judgment”  (Archer gets caught in a timewarp and ends up in an undiscovered country)

“...if you’re going to rip off an episode, you should at least rip off one of the good ones!”  --me, in the paragraph on “Oasis” in my retrospective of Enterprise’s first season.

**Illani bangs her head against the wall**

Okay, lest you start complaining right away, let me say that I do not, by and large, see this episode as a rip-off of the sixth Trek movie.  Just because the setting and the sentencing are the same as the trial therein, not to mention the added similarity of them both containing an eerily familiar defense lawyer, it doesn’t mean that the episode itself is just a copy.  As a matter of fact, it had a reasonable plot (if a bit thin, as usual), as well as some very nice acting by both Bakula and guest star J. G. Herzler (Martok, to us Niners).

Indeed, it was nice to see old Martok, in different form, back on the screen.  Herzler gave a lot of weight to his role, and I thought he played off Bakula quite well.  I’m still not enamored of the way Bakula plays Archer, but at least I’m getting used to it.

The conclusion of the episode, with them being sent to Rura Penthe, was interesting, but hardly surprising (I had this strange feeling they were going to do that from the beginning...don't know where I could have got that idea...).  The noble sacrifice of Herzler’s character was predictable, but the way it was played still made it quite poignant.

One thing that really bugged me about this was the problem of language.  Yes, we had Klingons and Archers understanding each other perfectly well, with no sign of a translator at all.  Mind you, it could have been hidden--built in somehow.  There must have been one somewhere, unless these Klingons took a crash-course in English only a year or so after first contact with humans.  But think back (or forward) to Star Trek VI, where we see Kirk and McCoy in a similar trial, with translator devices held to their ears for those few occasions when Christopher Plummer stopped spouting Shakespeare and actually spoke in Klingon.  *Sigh*  But those were different times.  Oh well, for what was otherwise a pretty good episode, I’m willing to forgive the translator nitpicks...I suppose.

Rating:  ****3/4  Continuing in the general trend of good writing we’ve seen lately.  Eerily reminiscent of my favorite Trek movie...but done in the right way, IMHO.  Anyway, it was certainly nice to see Herzler again.
 
 
 

4/2/03--Review for:  “The Crossing”  (the Enterprise is eaten by another starship; Archer’s whining gives it indigestion, so they get spit out again)

At first glance, a rip-off of TNG’s “Power Play,” but then, ‘crewmembers possessed by non-corporeal alien lifeforms’ is hardly an uncommon thing in Star Trek.  But I can’t help seeing the similarities between this and that particular episode.  The similarities weren’t quite as painfully obvious as with “Oasis” and "Shadowplay" or “Terra Nova” and "Friendship One," however.

Reed’s pick-up lines didn’t seem to be working too well, mind you.  I really enjoy watching Dominic Keating when he’s got something different to play.  That’s often the best thing about these episodes; we get to see the actors sink their teeth into perverted versions of their characters.  Anyway....

I’m not sure what Archer hoped to gain by confining people to their quarters, when these non-corporeal beings can just jump to someone else.  Furthermore, I’m not sure why the non-corporeal beings didn’t just jump to someone else.  Hmmn....  I suppose one could argue that they’re only compatible with one person on the crew, but that’s just silly.  What would be the odds of being compatible with anyone if you can only inhabit one in 82?  Darn, I’m getting a headache again....

During the sequence when Archer and T’Pol were talking Phlox through the CO2 procedure, I couldn’t help but be reminded of that scene in the first Jurassic Park when Jeff Goldblum and Richard Attenborough were talking Laura Dern through the electric fence start-up.  Of course...it's not quite the same.  Laura Dern had a velociraptor pop up behind her...Phlox had Trip popping up behind him.  I’m not sure which is worse.

Well, at least Phlox gets a couple of action sequences in this.  Kind of amusing to see our Denobulan strutting his fighting stuff.  Interestingly enough, he seemed to be doing better against Trip better than he did against Hoshi.  I guess this means Hoshi is a good fighter after all.  Or maybe it means Trip is a bad one.

Oh yes, and I’ve officially decided that Mayweather is a complete moron.  Taking the time to close the hatches behind him (presumably hoping to keep the non-corporeal alien out) was bad enough, but his laughable refusal to connect Trip’s odd behavior to his being possessed by one of the aliens was just idiotic.  To quote a line from Galaxy Quest, "Don't you guys even watch the show?"

*Sigh*  Oh well...maybe Mayweather’s better off without any lines after all.

Trivial note:  Trip’s former girlfriend mentioned in this episode was was Lisa.

“You claim to be an explorer, captain.  Open your mind to new possibilities.”  -‘Trip’ to Archer.

“We’ll let the doctor decide how fine you are.”  -Archer to Trip...not a great quote or anything, just strikes me as amusing, taken out of context.

“Something smells funny.”  -Archer, saying what T’Pol already knows.

“Have you been drinking?”
“If we are to engage in mating, it would be easier if you disrobed.”  -‘Reed’ putting the moves on T’Pol.

“Let’s see how much you enjoy experiencing the human condition ‘locked in Reed’s quarters.’”  -Archer to ‘Reed.’

Rating:  ****1/2  To be honest, I’m not sure whether I like this episode or not.  The concept was interesting, but again, it’s been done in similar forms before.  I enjoyed Dominic Keating’s acting during the ‘Reed gets possessed by a horny alien’ sequence.  The solution to the overall problem was okay, but nothing particularly spectacular.  But it’s still generally a continuation of the recent trend of better writing.
 
 

2/26/03--Review for:  “Canamar” (Archer and Trip are held prisoner in Guantanamo Bay; T'Pol and Reed don't try very hard to get them back)

Well, not really...that was back in “Detained.”

Archer just can’t seem to get a break, can he?  Just when he and Trip are about to be released from their prison ship, it’s taken over by a nasty Nausicaan prisoner and his AOTW buddy.  Archer gets in over his head when he weedles his way into piloting the vessel...only to discover that the renegades intend to set the ship in a decaying orbit and kill everyone aboard (after escaping themselves).

You may have noticed that one of the prisoners (the one sitting next to Archer before he starts playing ‘smuggler pilot’) appeared to be a Reman (obviously we’re starting to tie in with Nemesis here).  Either that or we're starting to tie in with Buffy's ubervamps.

And yes, Archer won a fight.

I really only have one complaint about this episode:  what happened to the necessity of the Universal Translator?  We have several species interacting, including Tucker and his talkative seatmate.  I doubt either Archer or Tucker would have been allowed to keep their UT’s on his person when he was arrested.  I suppose one could reason that the prisoner transport itself is equipped with UT’s, so that the prisoners can chat with each other or the guards can bark “Shut up!” and be understood, just before giving the prisoner in question a jolt with the handcuffs.  But anyway, this is a problem that crops up in a lot of Star Trek episodes, it’s just a bit disconcerting that Enterprise, in its primitive era, is abandoning the concept so quickly.  *Sigh*  Oh well...if that’s the worst complaint I can come up with, the episode must have been pretty good.

“Excuse me, can I change seats?”  -Trip.

Rating:  ****3/4  I liked the themes of this story, it was just a little on the slow side at times, and this along with the UT problem is why the score isn’t perfect.  But looking over the last few episodes, it’s pretty obvious that the level of writing has come up.  This one was written by John Shiban (late of the X-Files), and it looks like he’s a bright light in Enterprise’s writing staff.  Now we just need to keep Braga away from the scripts....
 
 

2/19/03--Review for:  “Future Tense” (Archer and his crew find Dr. Who’s Tardis floating in space)

Sorry, I couldn’t resist it.  This quote just got to me:

“How could a ship be bigger on the inside than on the outside?”  -Trip to Malcolm.

I mean, a time-traveling ship that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside?  Come on, you know this belongs to a Time Lord.

Ahem...well, anyway, we also get our first contact with the Tholians in this episode.  A tantalizing few minutes of audio communication--and then they leave.  Then later on, they’re back.  Hmmm...it looks like there’s a new faction in the TCW.  The Tholians and the Suliban don’t seem to care for each other.  Beyond that, we know very little.

By the way, if any of TPTB are reading this, please, please, please stop with the juvenile Archer/T’Pol insinuations!  The two have about as much romantic chemistry as Worf and Troi (and I don’t mean that as a good thing).  It would be bad enough if you guys were just trying to pair the two of them up in a sensible, adult way...but these constant little references are really starting to get on my nerves.  And this coming from someone who didn’t mind the slapstick “T’Pol falls on Archer’s face” scene in “Shadows of P’Jem.”  Jeez...if T’Pol is paired with anyone, it should be Trip, someone she actually has chemistry with--and it should be done in a way that doesn’t involve the spoken words “sexual tension” or gratuitous sexual references aimed at 15 year old boys.  The decon scenes would also fall into this category.  Having said that, I wouldn’t mind at all if she wasn’t permanently paired with anyone on the crew...but Archer is the one person they cannot pair her off with without losing credibility.  If it was just a matter of the captain and first officer, it might work...but these two are the leading representatives of the human and Vulcan species on this ship.  They should have a strong bond, certainly...but it should be a bond of friendship, and all the more powerful for it.  Ah well...perhaps they’ll forget about this Archer/T’Pol romance nonsense in a season or two.  Who can tell?  Ahem, after that little rant, back to the rest of the review....

Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if TPTB know how to write time travel.  Complex time travel twists are supposedly something Braga is famous for...yet in my book what he’s really famous for is making a botch of it.  I’m speaking in general terms about the way Braga’s time travel stories tend to go.  Lots of mystery, lots of smoke and mirrors, lots of promise...very little fulfillment or clarification.

The scenes where people relive the same few moments several times are nothing unusual in science fiction (heck, I saw almost exactly the same thing in “Meglos,” an episode of, you guessed it, Doctor Who).  But the problem which crops up in both cases is this:  if they really are traveling in a time loop, why the heck do they remember what happened in the last loop?  The canon answer:  the looping leaves some sort of echo in the space-time continuum, allowing the participants to know what’s going to happen before it happens.  The real answer:  writers are creative with the laws of time travel.  Erm...if there are any laws, that is.  Eh, I have a headache now.

Anyway, I don’t want you to think that I automatically despise shows with time travel.  I’m a big fan of time travel when it’s done right.  See TNG’s “Yesterday’s Enterprise.”

“I wonder if they’ll believe that humans and Vulcans will be...swapping chromosomes one day.”  “They’re more likely to believe in time travel.”  -Archer and T’Pol.

“Where’s the fun in exploring if you know how it all turns out?”  -Trip to Malcolm.

Rating:  ****3/4  Actually, this was a very entertaining episode, but it wasn't perfect.  It was a typical TCW story:  lots of action, lots of references to the wonders of time travel, lots of potential for future plot threads, and very little explanation.  Personally, I have no problem with a few loose ends...but these tend to have loose middles and loose beginnings as well.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a very enjoyable story, and one of the better TCW ones.  But I tend to prefer political, moral, or character-based stories to this kind of sloppy time travel.  Give me Andorians over Suliban any day.  It was very nice to see signs of the Tholians, though, and I’m intrigued to see what part they play in this Temporal Cold War.  And I for one am happy enough to have a TCW story without Daniels.  Note to TPTB:  keep that Voyager reject off the screen for as long as possible.  Oh, and remember what I said about the Archer/T’Pol stuff--friendship good, juvenile romance bad.
 
 

2/12/03--Review for:  “Cease Fire” (Archer, T’Pol, and Soval dodge phaser beams while negotiating with Worf's girlfriend and Weyoun)

The teaser was promising.  Jeffrey Combs knows how to draw an audience into his performance immediately, and tonight was no exception.  This episode heralds the return of both Combs and the Andorians, from their nearly year-long break since “Shadows of P’Jem” (I know, I know, Combs was in “Acquisition” too, but I’m talking Shran here).  “Shadows of P’Jem” was essentially the sequel to “The Andorian Incident,” one of the first run episodes--and one of the ones I dubbed an instant classic.  Besides Combs, Christopher Shea and Susie Plakson are in this episode.  Along with Vaughn Armstrong as Admiral Forest again.  This must be the day for guest stars from other series....  Plakson and Shea are also playing Andorians.  It might be worthy of note that this is the second time Shea and Combs have been in the same episode (they played Keevan and Brunt in DS9’s “The Magnificent Ferengi”).  This is also the first time they’ve appeared as the same species in the same episode (both had been Vorta before, but in different episodes).  I’m just waiting for Combs to turn up as a Suliban...don't laugh, I wouldn't put it past them for an instant.

This is the first time we’ve heard Shran called by name.  He’d been listed as Shran on official websites, magazine articles, etc, but never referred to as such on screen.  Well, now they’re making up for it.  While we’re at it, Plakson's character marks the first female Andorian appearance.

The Tactical Alert made another appearance as well.  I’m still a bit disappointed that they didn’t go with ‘Reed Alert,’ but oh well....

This episode was broadcast at a time when our country seems to have forgotten the value of peaceful negotiations or even diplomacy in general.  Both were applauded here.  Another episode involving the conflict between the Vulcans and Andorians was long overdue, and this one fit the bill.  I can just hear the groans from certain critics:  “Another hostage situation, oh brother....”  But this time, the hostage situation was used in a very different way.  It wasn’t Archer and company who were being held captive...rather they were the negotiators in a conflict which could help define Vulcan/Andorian relations for the future in the series.

Shran is rapidly being sculpted as a character with a conscience (it’s not that Combs’s characters don’t usually have consciences at all, but let’s just say Shran’s conscience is a bit more evident than Brunt’s or Weyoun’s).  He has grown to trust Archer, due to his dealings with the Enterprise crew in the past.  This trust has allowed him a way to negotiate with the Vulcans in a way he can believe in.  From the actions of his lieutenent, Ms. Plakson, it is obvious that many Andorians feel that peace talks are not the way to go.  Shran listens to their side, but in the end goes the way he feels is best:  peace, not war.

We would do well to learn that lesson ourselves.  Well, our so-called president and his hawkish administration might at any rate.  But I leave bickering about the coming war on Iraq for another time.  Besides Combs and Plakson, the other guest stars did well in presenting their roles.  The guy playing Soval (can’t think of his name) turned in a great performance--and this is the meatiest role that character has had in an episode.  It’s always good to see Chris Shea too, but I wish they would give him a real part in this series--they’re letting a great talent go to waste.  This is his second appearance in Enterprise, and even though this was a small role, I still enjoyed seeing old Keevan back at it again.

One more thing before assigning a rating...last season there was a small but vocal group of Combs fans on the net who thought it would be be cool if Shran was posted to the Enterprise as a rep of the Andorians.  You know, like T’Pol is for the Vulcans--providing the balance of what looks to be the most significant three races that will go on to found the Federation.  Now then, I fully admit that I’m in this group that would love to see Shran every week...but last year, even I thought there was no way it could happen realistically.  It doesn’t seem quite so distant a possibility after this episode.  In fact, it half makes me wonder if they aren’t setting up for a cast change.  There has been at least one significant cast change in each of the Trek series (adding Chekov, ditching Yar, swapping Jadzia for Ezri, swapping Kes for Seven...you know what I mean).  Anyway, it’s perfectly possible that they’ll add someone else.  I think that was the idea of them having only seven crew members to start with.  In fact, I remember someone saying that they might add peripheral characters to the main cast, depending on who becomes prominent and/or interesting.  Well guess what?  Shran has become both.  If they were to add him to the series as a member of the regular crew, I would certainly be smiling.

Oh yeah...and did I mention my latest theory that Future Guy is none other than Ambassador Soval?  Heck, they even sound alike....

“I thought Shran might enjoy seeing her again.” -Archer (about T’Pol).
 

Rating:  ****3/4  Well, the winning streak of 5 had to run out eventually...in other words, right away.  In truth, the only reason this doesn’t receive a perfect rating from me is the somewhat predictable nature of the plot.  But I found that the episode had a good pace, excellent acting, and a nice story.  The plot was not overly complicated, but the twists kept us guessing well enough.  Sure, we knew the female Andorian could be the one behind the shootings...but neither did we know for certain that it was her.  Well I didn’t anyway.  Come on, it could have been the Vulcans (we know them well enough by now that we’re not putting anything past them).  Anyway, predictable or not...I liked it.  Beyond the plot and characters, I like the implications this has for the future of Enterprise’s political landscape.  Like the previous episode, this one sets up a lot of potential threads for the future without leaving embarrassing loose ends.  I liked it.
 
 

2/5/03--Review for:  “Stigma” (T’Pol suffers from a MMTD while one of Phlox’s three wives flirts with Trip)

We finally get a glimpse of more of Denobulan culture, as well as a shocking look at a potentially huge aspect of Enterprise-era Vulcans.

Continuity raises its ugly head, as the events of “Fusion” come back to haunt T’Pol.  It seems she has a MMTD (mind-meld transmitted disease...I coined the term, so don’t blame the writers), picked up from her experience in that first season episode.  The interesting thing that comes out of this is that mind-melding Vulcans are a minority in Vulcan culture of this era.  Not only a minority, but a persecuted minority.  This is a very different Vulcan from the one of later Treks, and this revelation could potentially silence some critics while riling up others.  It raises all sorts of questions and possibilities as to the differences we’ve all been perceiving between Enterprise Vulcans and TOS/TNG/DS9/VGR Vulcans.  How this plays out in the future could help shape Enterprise into a really complex and great series.  If they do it right.

The whole minority with a disease thing parallels the gay-rights/AIDS thing in our society.  Strangely enough, it didn’t hit me until the young Vulcan doctor gave T’Pol the data and told her that he was one of them.  As the episode proceeded to the end, the analogy became clear.  Especially after the “to find out more about HIV/AIDS, call blah blah blah” thing that came up after fade-out.  Well, that little ad was less than sublte, but the episode itself was very artfully done, and I appreciate the social commentary that they’re daring to explore here.

The conclusion, with the young doctor sacrificing his own career to save T’Pol was quite well done.  The issues involved were not black and white, and T’Pol’s motivation to remain silent was equally as understandable as the doctor’s motivation to speak up.  That’s the mark of storytelling well done, and I commend the writers of this episode.

The B-plot with Trip and Phlox’s wife (Feezel or something?) was cute, and provided some nice comic relief from the A-plot.  It establishes how Denobulan husbands and wives act toward each other...and the fact that marriage, in their culture, does not exclude dallying with other individuals.

“I’m very flattered, but aren’t you a married woman?”
“I’m a woman.  That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”  --Trip and Mrs. Phlox.

“You’ve got to tell them, T’Pol.  You’ve got to tell them what happened.”  --Archer.

“You’re wasting my time.”
“It’s mine to waste.”  --chief Vulcan doctor and Archer.

Rating:  *****  Yes, that’s right:  my first perfect score for an Enterprise episode.  A thoughtful, risk-taking story which gives new meaning to the still dull “Fusion,” while setting up a potential plot line that could stretch for the length of the series and beyond.  It’s a plot thread set-up of DS9 proportions, and I applaud the effort.  As long as they don’t solve this in a few episodes (Voyager style), this should prove to be interesting, at the very least.  Regardless of what happens with this thread in the future, this episode stands on its own merit.  It was very reminiscent of TOS shows like “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield,” in which the social issues of today are examined on an otherworldly stage.  I believe that this episode will be remembered as a classic for years to come.  Hurrah for Enterprise:  thank you for finally living up to your potential, and keep up the good work!
 
 

***I have not reviewed the two episodes below as of yet; I must watch them again first.  Thanks for listening....***

"Dawn"  (Trip is stuck on a world with an alien and a rising sun; Trip gets thirsty, but his alien friend doesn't)

"The Catwalk"  (the crew must retreat to the safety of a catwalk inside one of the warp nacelles...or was it both?)
 
 

12/11/02--Review for:  “Precious Cargo”  (Trip gets to play some Kirk and gets it together with a haughty alien princess)

Er...yes.  Okay, I’ll be honest, I actually enjoyed watching most of this episode.  That is, I enjoyed it in a brainless, don’t-think-about-it-too-much sort of way.  The thing is, this episode had even less of a plot than most.

Trip gets kidnapped and escapes with a beautiful but extremely snobbish alien princess.  After sharing some close quarters in an escape pod, they crash land on a jungle island which sort of reminded me of where Mark Wahlberg crashed in the remake of “Planet of the Apes.”  Then she notices he’s wounded, which gets his shirt off...and before long they’re in the “rolling around in a fight” stage which rapidly transitions into the “rolling in the hay” stage.

Other than this, the plot is...er...well there is no plot.  There’s some lame stuff about Archer and T’Pol playing good cop/bad cop with one of the aliens...but I found it to be dragged out and boring.  Mind you, T’Pol’s ‘magistrate’ robes were cool (it’s nice to see her in something other than the catsuit).  I did enjoy how Dominic Keating played Reed in this, even though he was only in a couple of scenes.

The harmonica playing in the beginning was interesting.  It seemed a little gimmicky, but I’m not going to complain too much.  What’s more annoying is the shotgun length of the teaser...but with Enterprise, this is the case more often than not.

The sexual tension between Trip and the princess...this was the only thing that made the episode even mildly interesting.  Sure, it was obvious how it was going to play out (we’ve seen the same thing happen on Star Trek and countless other shows and movies ad nauseum).  But I liked the way Connor Trinneer played it.  I can’t help it, I just like “Cranky Trip.”  He’s sexier when he’s got that scowl on his face, don’t you think?

That look he gets on his face when the princess tears off her skirt and crawls into the pod (her high heels swinging awkwardly) is just precious.  Speaking of precious looks, there was also the look on Reed’s face when he, T’Pol, and Archer come across Trip and the princess in their underwear.  That’s the ‘precious’ in “Precious Cargo.”

Of course, I have to nitpick even the most plotless of episodes.  It’s just luck, isn’t it, that Trip and his princess drop out of warp within a day’s journey of a planet?  I realize it’s a plot device, but really, considering how widely spaced star systems are in real life, it’s stretching the bounds of credibility.

And while we’re at it, why on earth would Trip assume the alien distance measurements were in meters?  That is one of the dumbest (and most terra-centric) things I have ever heard.

Krios Prime...would that be that planet from the TNG episode “Perfect Mate”?  I’ll have to look it up.  Kytama is the princess’s name.  Oh, and for the record, this episode ended on September 12, 2142...I don’t know if that’s significant at all.

“You’re touching me!”
“It’s not like I have a lot of choice.”
“It’s inappropriate to touch the First Monarch!”
“You’re welcome to step outside until I’m done.”  -Kytama and Trip in the cramped escape pod.

“You know, you were a lot more pleasant in stasis.”  -Trip to Kytama.

“We started out with 83 crewmen on board...we’re down to 76.”  -Archer, saying what a lot of BBSers have been wanting to become canon.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, never you mind.

“Is it...edible?”
“Well...depends how hungry you are.”  -Kytama and Trip.

“Don’t underestimate Captain Archer.”  -Trip saying...er...what no one else would.

“You’d be dead if it weren’t for me!”
“I’m beginning to think that would be preferrable.”
“I doubt the commoners back home would complain.”  -Trip and Kytama.

“Trip?  This a bad time?”  -Archer, upon coming across two scantily-clad people with their behinds in the air.

Rating:  ****   Somewhat enjoyable, but also predictable and brainless.  Well, it’s better than “A Night in Sickbay,” at any rate.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “Vanishing Point” (Hoshi disappears and nobody notices)

Interesting episode...and for once, it actually kept us guessing.  Well, it kept me guessing at any rate.  And guess what?  The teaser was more than 10 seconds.  Yippee!!!

The idea that Hoshi was dreaming the whole thing actually occurred to me quite early on, but then I started to wonder if she was phased somehow (like the appropriately named TNG episode “The Next Phase”).  Like Geordi and Ro, she could not be seen and could not touch things, yet didn’t fall through the floor (I actually loved “The Next Phase,” but the physics were atrocious).  Yet just as I was about to nitpick about this, I realize that my original thought that it was a dream proved true...and there we are.

This is possibly the strongest episode yet for Linda Park--it’s certainly Hoshi’s most solid outing as a character, and it gives her some interesting development.  We get to see her father (even if he’s just in her imagination), and we see her have some good interactions with various members of the crew.

But perhaps the most interesting aspect of the episode is the way it deals with the transporter, and what fears it instills.  I mean, we who are used to the 23rd and 24th centuries have started to take the thing for granted (incidents like the beginning of The Motion Picture and TNG’s “Rascals” not-withstanding).  This is the only episode besides “Realm of Fear” (TNG’s Barclay freak-out) which deals with the effects of the transporter for the whole episode.  The fact that it’s all in Hoshi’s mind is beside the point; we start to ask questions about the psychology that must go on when using the thing.  For some of the episode we might even wonder about the effects of a transport gone wrong.  I loved the scene when Trip and Phlox find that glob of goo and scrape it up to give to her parents...great stuff.  I was about to start yelling at the captain for being so stupid and not recognizing the morse code after the SOS, but since it’s all in Hoshi’s mind, I guess it’s okay.  I’ll just be content with the fact that she thinks he’s that stupid.

The whole Cyrus Ramsey thing was interesting, if a little cliched.  Having Hoshi mention it at the end was a cute way to connect the conclusion to earlier stuff.

“...I was sure I was going to be the next Cyrus Ramsey.”
“Cyrus who?”  -Hoshi and Trip.

Rating:  ****3/4  An excellent episode, captivating enough to be on par with my favorites of last season, “The Andorian Incident” and “Shuttlepod One.”  Linda Park has proven that she can carry an episode, and I look forward to more episodes featuring Hoshi.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “Singularity” (everyone but T’Pol gets obsessive about trivial things; T’Pol gets obsessive about not-so-trivial things)

For the record, I didn’t use worry about how long the teaser was.  But more and more, I’m getting rather annoyed with the '20-seconds or less' teasers of Enterprise.  It struck me when I was watching some DS9 tapes--their teasers were often around 5 minutes, and they developed a real start to the story.  These 20 seconders don’t do anything more than try to tweak our interest...problem is, they often don’t do a particularly good job of doing that.  Well anyway, with that little rant out of the way....

Unlike a lot of fans, I actually tend to like episodes where everyone acts out of character (er, that is, when this is done on purpose).  True, these often get very silly and it’s usually best not to think too much about the so-called reasons for their erratic behavior, but even TNG’s “The Naked Now,” which contained more absurd moments than the entire first five seasons of DS9 (you can quote me on that) had quite a few moments in it where I laughed out loud.

Having said that, let me point out that the concept of erratic behavior was, like many other concepts, beaten to death on Voyager.  I don’t want to see the same thing happen on Enterprise, and let’s face it, they’ve used this twice now--both here and in the 3rd episode, “Strange New World.”  But twice in two seasons isn’t too bad, I suppose.

But the great thing is, this is somewhat different from most of these kinds of episodes, since the actors are basically playing extreme versions of their characters.  There aren’t any stumbling drunks or cheap attempts at seduction, but rather a group of individuals, each of whom is obsessed with some menial task, such as getting a recipe right or repairing a chair (yeah, I know, it’s the captain’s chair).  Reed even got to obsess about something he’s normally obsessed with anyway.  Well, not to the same degree, I suppose (yes, I am a fan of Mr. Reed’s; this is just some playful teasing).  Speaking of which, I just about died laughing in the scene where Tucker suggests “Reed Alert” for the new protocol.  Then I just about died again when I heard Reed trying out the alarm sounds (reminds me of the alarm sound from Red Dwarf, actually), and I also loved the scene where Reed and Tucker get into a fight and Archer intervenes.  Great dialogue.  It was also an interesting twist that Reed’s insane new protocol actually saved the day in the end, and that Archer actually acknowledged it.

Phlox was getting pretty spooky there toward the end.  Fortunately, T’Pol was there to nerve pinch him.  Now we know it works on Denobulans.  It was also nice that his obsession was something that really was of concern (even if his reaction to it was a bit extreme), and that T’Pol was able to use the data he’d collected to figure out what was going on.

Of course, I’m not sure why Archer was T’Pol’s first choice to pilot the ship.  I suppose it’s because Mayweather was completely out (due to Dr. Death’s medical care), and I guess those relief shift helm officers just aren’t any good.  Of course, the real reason was TPTB’s obsession with sticking Archer and T’Pol together in as many situations as possible...but I won’t get into that.  Hey, I’m happy as long as they don’t start necking in decon or yapping about sexual tension.  Or anything else that’s juvenile.  Oh, do I need help...I guess I just don’t see that much chemistry between Archer and T’Pol.

In contrast, I found the brief exchanges between Trip and T’Pol to be very funny and well-timed.  These two have a chemistry that just seems to come naturally.  There’s nothing forced, just their personalities rubbing each other the wrong way.  It’s Spock and McCoy, it’s O’Brien and Bashir, it’s...it’s......okay, it’s the old principle of a pair of opposites, and these two are on the way to joining the ranks of classic sparring friendships.  If TPTB don’t drop the ball, that is.  Whether there’s a romantic aspect or not, Trip and T’Pol always light up the screen for me when they’re together.

Getting back to the plot, one thing I wanted to see was that T’Pol was affected by this radiation as well.  I think it could have been good if towards the end we see that she’s obsessing about this radiation thing, which is causing her to be blinded to the true cause (don’t ask me what the true cause is; this is just speculation).  I think it could have made a good twist, but I suppose it’s just a thought.

“I thought Vulcans had all this mental focus and discipline.”
“We also have senstive hearing.”  -Trip and T’Pol.

“Do you think a cup holder’s too much?”  -Trip to Reed.

“It’s a chair.”
“It’s the captain’s chair.  It’s just as important as your...Reed Alert.”
“Reed Alert...that’s not bad.”  -Reed and Trip.

“They both sound like a bag full of cats.”
“Well they were designed to get your attention.”  -Trip and Reed about the Tactical Alert sound tests.

“Nineteen?!  Are you writing the prefece or the book?”  -Trip to Archer.

“Shut off that damn noise!”  -Archer, referring to the Tactical Alert; I don't need to mention whom he's echoing here....

“I don’t remember authorizing a tactical drill!”
“It wouldn’t be much of a drill if everyone knew about it, would it?”  -Archer and Reed.

“...but the headache’s gone.  What’d you do?”
“Very little...fortunately.”  -Mayweather and Phlox.

Rating:  ****1/2  Good episode with some very funny moments, especially centering around the “Reed Alert.”
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “The Communicator” (aliens steal Reed's communicator)

I’m sure a lot of folks are getting pretty uppity about the recurring theme of main crew members being kidnapped by backwards societies, but hey, it’s okay as long as the story’s good.  So, the question is:  is this story good?

Well, I’d have to say that I’ve seen better, but I’ve also seen much worse, particularly in recent Enterprise history.  After the badly written fanfic that was “A Night in Sickbay” and the idiotic snooze-fest that was “Marauders,” “The Communicator” was quite a nice change.  It had some great character moments between Archer and Reed, as well as some amusing stuff for Trip.  The teaser, with the banter between Archer, Reed, and Sato, was great.

Trip having part of his arm cloaked was cute, though when it comes to scientific validity, don’t ask.

The actions of the alien commander seem a bit odd...killing Archer and Reed so quickly was a stupid move, considering the military secrets they might possess.  Also, the idea of killing them to study their organs might have some merit, but keeping one of them alive and studying him as a living being would be equally as informative, if you ask me.  Oh well...that wasn’t the only problem I saw here....

Archer and Reed deciding to give their lives instead of risking ‘cultural contamination’ is interesting, but I see a definite flaw.  Just what exactly is cultural contamination?  Is it Archer and Reed telling the aliens that they’re travelers from outer space (yeah, I know, they’re from Iowa; they only work in space)?  Or is it letting these people think that their biggest enemy faction has the ability to make phase pistols and genetically modify their soldiers?  Call me crazy, but I’d consider the second one the worse of the two offenses.  If Archer had at least tried to give them the space story (i.e. the truth), at least he wouldn’t be willfully altering their perceptions of other members of their own planet.  With the story they did give, Archer and Reed may have altered the conflict on this world...and that contamination won’t go away with the retrieved technology.  Is that supposed to be minimizing cultural contamination?  T’Pol points this out quite rightly in the conclusion...but that doesn’t alter the decision that Archer made earlier.  I question his reasoning.
 

“It’s a bit ironic.  Giving our lives to protect people who want to kill us!”  -Reed to Archer.

“Sir, looking for this?”  -Reed handing Archer’s communicator to him.

“We did do damage to those people.”  -T’Pol to Archer.

“You don’t have to leave technology behind to contaminate a culture.”  -T’Pol to Archer.

Rating:  ****1/4  Some nice moments, but overall a bit slow and on the boring side.  The message about the prime directive (or whatever it’s called in that century) is fine in the end, but there were still sloppy decisions made along the way.  But then, we all know from past experience that Archer is good at making mistakes, don’t we?  The best things about the episode were the little character moments between Archer and Reed, the scene between Archer and T’Pol at the end, and the cute stuff with Trip cloaking his arm.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “The Seventh” (T’Pol walks over acid to get away from Archer and Mayweather)

Sorry, but I don’t have too much to say about this one...a bit boring, but both Blalock and Bakula had good performances, and the plot was solid.  Compared with the previous two, this one’s a work of genius.  And the stuff with Trip was cute.  Er, I suppose it’s possible that they don’t have Archer’s picture in the Vulcan database.  Aw, those humans all look alike anyway.

Rating:  ****1/4  Nothing awful, but nothing spectacular either.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “Marauders” (Archer says ‘boo’ to chase away some Klingons)

Oh dear...um...let’s see....

Okay, I’ll be nice...it was a bit on the boring side.  Okay, and a little absurd.  Um, make that a lot.

I mean, come on!  If you’re going to have an episode like this, the conclusion has to be convincing...as in, it has to make sense.  What doesn’t make sense is:

(A) Archer and company “trapping” a bunch of Klingons in a ring of fire when the Klingons can just beam outside of it (and they do beam back up to their ship at the end, but don’t seem to have the brains to beam back down again)....  Heck, if these were *actual* Klingons, they probably would have jumped through the flames.  Listen, Klingons don’t worry about a few 3rd degree burns...pain is very honourable, you know....

and (B) Archer and company happily assuming that this will mean the Klingons are soooooo scared that they’ll never come back and torment these poor people again.  I mean, come on...even with the Vulcans checking in every once in awhile, Archer as good as signed the death warrants of every person in that colony.  You do not piss Klingons off...moreover you do not embarrass them.  Doing so indicates that you have the brain capacity of an ant.

Well, maybe Archer was having an off day.  I’ll forgive them for this episode, but this is the second one in a row that rates lower than ‘stupid’ on my scale.  Not only was the ending idiotic, but the rest of the episode wasn’t even entertaining.  I was left feeling like “yeah...so what?”  Look guys, please don’t keep this up.  Please.

Rating:  **  Higher than last week’s because no one even once mentioned “sexual tension.”  And that cute scene with Malcolm and Hoshi with the aliens during target practice--the only entertaining moment in the whole thing.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “A Night in Sickbay” (Archer spends the night with a sick beagle and a reincarnated Dr. Freud while he has scandalous thoughts about T'Pol)

There are few episodes which I feel I can call truly stupid, and for awhile there I thought this season of Enterprise might escape that label.  Well, I just found a place to stick it.

“A Night in Sickbay” plays like a very badly written fanfic...and in case you were wondering, that is not a compliment.  Not that I have anything against Porthos...but I must admit, I was wondering about this episode from the moment I saw Archer smearing decon gel on the hapless beagle.  After that, it almost got back to a sane level before, completely out of the blue, Phlox starts raving about sexual tension and how Archer wants to get it together with T’Pol.  This is about where I started looking at this as almost a parody of an episode, rather than an episode itself.  You know...the way you watch Star Trek V:  The Final Failure.  It reminded me quite strongly one of Zeke’s 5-minute parodies, actually.  Except that it wasn’t funny.

Putting aside the horrifically stupid sexual tension thing, this episode didn’t have much of a plot, apart from Porthos’s worsening condition and eventually his surgery.  I suppose it’s good that they’ve addressed the issue of his canine health at last, but did it have to be in such an utterly brainless episode?  Whoever was responsible for this story must have been high on something, or maybe I’m missing something...some deeper meaning that has somehow escaped me.  But hey, who am I to judge?  I guess that’s what comes of trying to analyze an episode where the high point is Phlox clipping his toenails.

Rating:  *1/2  Rarely have I rated an episode so low.  I believe only about 5 episodes of Voyager ranked below this.  I officially declare “A Night in Sickbay” to be Enterprise’s first complete dud.
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “Dead Stop” (Mayweather dies and nobody notices)

Okay, I’m sorry about the little summary up there...I couldn’t resist it.  For a long time now, practically since the series started, people have been mocking poor Travis, both for having hardly any lines and for the ones he does have.  Succinctly put, the guy has a severe condition known as lack of personality.  Or too cheerful of a personality.  I can’t decide.

But this story wasn’t really about Mayweather, but rather more of a mystery.  The conclusion was interesting and I even liked the last shot of the station rebuilding itself after Enterprise blows it up and leaves.  It had some cool continuity as well, specifically, the damage to both the Enterprise and Lt. Reed from the previous episode.  In a way, it was nice seeing them mention these things, though it was a little cheap to repair them the way they did.  I could handle the ship being repaired by the station, but when they did the same thing to Malcolm’s leg, I thought they were really taking the easy way out.  Oh well...I suppose I should just be happy that both Reed and the ship weren’t completely back to normal at the *beginning* of this episode.

Rating:  ****1/2
 
 

11/27/02--Review for:  “Minefield”  (Reed gets his leg stuck to the outer hull; it hurts)

Wow.  You know, I’ve been both dreading and anticipating the arrival of the Romulans, but this introduction surprised me.  I really liked it.  Really.  I mean, this was a very nice episode.

They managed to introduce the Romulans while neither revealing their kinship with the Vulcans nor making them seem weak.  They seemed...well...ominous.  And well they should, for if things go the way I’m guessing, the Romulans will become the main villains of Enterprise before long.

Would the Romulan language be so far removed from Vulcan that the UT has problems with it when it's translated others so quickly?  Well, let me look at it this way:  this was the time they did it right.  All those other times were too fast.

The other thing I’m not sure of is when Hoshi says ‘Romalin’ and T’Pol corrects her, saying it’s pronounced ‘Romulan.’  Well...I’d always assumed that ‘Romulan’ was the human term for the race, and that they actually referred to themselves as ‘Rihansuu.’  I suppose if you stretched your imagination enough, you might reason that the word is ‘Romulan’ in their language, and that it is because of the similarity between that and a certain name from Earth’s history that their planet was named by the humans as Romulus.  The fact that Romulus the planet just happens to have twin planet was just perfect--what a coincidence:  Romulas the Roman had a twin too!  Let's call the other planet...Remus!  Ack, I'm babbling again.

But the nice thing about this episode was that the Romulans themselves weren’t the main focus.  That was given to Reed and Archer, and I was quite impressed.  Good character development for both of them, and also further pointing out the differences in their styles of doing things.  Keating in particular did a good job, especially in portraying the physical and mental pain his character was going through.  Reed's character has remained something of an enigma throughout this series, but in a way that makes him the most interesting one on the crew.  He's not sketched out from day one, and there's still a heck of a lot we don't know about him.  What we do know is faceted, often contradictory...some have called this sloppy writing, but what I see is a real person.  In real life people have all kinds of contradictions built into their reactions and personalities.  Most people on Trek (with the exception of the DS9 and a few of the Voyager cast) aren't that complicated.  They come ready-made and patented, and usually at peace with themselves and their lives.  Reed is not like this--at least not yet.  I'll enjoy watching Reed's story continue to develop over the years.
 

"You said this morning that you didn't follow any particular sport."
"Well I'm afraid I haven't started following one since breakfast, sir."  --Archer and Reed.

"He went down with his ship.  He did what he had to do to save his crewmates."  --Reed telling Archer about his uncle, but also what he's prepared to do himself.

"Captain, those heroics we spoke about...I think if may be time."  --Malcolm Reed.

"Polarize the hull plating."
"I'll do what I can, but keep in mind we're missing some of it."  --T'Pol and Trip.

Rating:  ****3/4  Best one so far this season; let’s hope that both Reed and the Romulans fare as well in the future.
 
 

9/25/02--Review for:  “Carbon Creek” (Trip asks T'Pol to tell him a story; he gets more than he bargained for)

This is in the vein of Voyager’s “11:59,” only better.  Don’t get me wrong...despite my criticisms of Voyager, I actually enjoyed that episode (most Voyager fans say it’s one of their least favorite).  Of course, I gave it bonus points for pointing out that the millenium started in 2001, not 2000, but that’s just the satisfaction of hearing agreement about one of my pet peeves.

But back to “Carbon Creek.”  It was a daring episode to have in the second spot in the season, but I think it mostly works.  I say ‘mostly’ because there were a few moments in it bordering on stupid, and I’m not fond of the rather gratuitous scene where T’Pol’s great grandmother (or whatever she is) changes clothes behind a very translucent sheet, giving the audience full view of her silouetted...er...attributes.

But overall I enjoyed the humor, though I have seen far funnier Trek episodes.  However, Blalock did well carrying this show, and I enjoyed the bit where she ‘invents’ velcro...even if it was kind of silly.

Rating:  ****1/2
 

9/18/02--Review for:  “Shockwave II” (Archer and Daniels save history with technobabble while Hoshi bares all for Malcolm)

The first part of “Shockwave” was one of those cliffhangers which hadn’t been thought through when it was written.  Frankly, this can lead to problems, the most prevalent of which is the proverbial predictable solution.  Enterprise has had quite a few of those.  Back in the spring, when fans were talking about the most likely solution to the problem, what frequently came up was:  “they find some weird gizmo in Daniels’s quarters which teleports Archer back to the Enterprise and resets the timeline.”  Oh, I’d have loved to have been disappointed, but alas...no.

Mind you, there were a couple of twists to that idea, but basically that was it.  I won’t frown upon them too much as I suspected nothing less.  Although I enjoyed both parts of “Shockwave,” I’m already getting sick of the Temporal Cold War.  Especially if this is the way they’re going to handle it.  Heck, I was sick of it way back during the hugely popular “Cold Front.”  Okay, so maybe I’d like it better if they got rid of Daniels (I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand the guy...looks, acts, and sounds like a reject from a bad Voyager).  But Daniels or no, the TCW is something that should be resolved sometime in the next season or two.  I don’t want it to drag out for all seven years or whatever.  We need to get it resolved and then concentrate on more interesting things like the forming of the Federation.

Let’s see, what is there, apart from the plot?  Well, there was the scene where Hoshi drops into Malcolm’s quarters without a shirt.  Yes, it was juvenile, but I’m a shipper so I thought it was cute.  Then there was the later scene where Malcolm gets beaten up...god I felt sorry for him.  He looked like hell.  Mind you, the plot point was interesting--Malcolm knew he was going to get tortured, and did it all so he could spill the beans to Silik and manipulate him into bringing Archer back.  Heroic.

Rating:  ****1/2  Not as good or bad as it could have been; overall, an enjoyable episode.