Being President Must Suck
The voting season is over, Bush won... now we have a show about the president, only it makes fun of him...only in america!
**********************************************************************************
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right
now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will
fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say
give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government
needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the
road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God
in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and
no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her
own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need
help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
road myself.
RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire
makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to
create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into
believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the
roads, up with chickens.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of a
Chicken.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
"chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
*Special thanx to Samuel Moreno for sending me that...*
Back
