Kes left her session with Tuvok feeling much more focused, but still unsettled over the events of the previous few days; Tannis, the female Caretaker…but most importantly the feelings that they evoked in her.
While Tuvok was an excellent teacher, and a wonderful mentor, his Vulcan nature did not permit him to do anything other than be her friend, and his tendencies to make her feel unemotional responses could sometimes be overwhelming. In her mind, she needed to talk to someone more…emotional. Other than Neelix, who while he was supportive of her efforts to enhance her mental abilities (they were after all a package deal with her own self), was not entirely open about his thoughts.
Kes rang Sara’s door chimes.
She was admitted silently. “Hello Kes,” the girl didn’t seem surprised to see her, conveying her usual expression of blank impassivity, though Kes noted the pleasure on her face, though she tried to hide it.
“Hello Sara,” the Ocampan began, and then stopped. “You know what I’m going to ask you…don’t you.”
Sara inhaled, a small smile forming. “Yes,” she replied, on the exhale. “And I would love to take a walk with you. Shall we visit the airponics bay…or the holodeck?”
“The airponics bay,” Kes decided. Sara smiled quietly as they set off.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you before…” Kes spoke aloud, as did Sara. “You…when Tuvok tells me to open my mind, to the impressions on this ship…I hear the voices of everyone. That’s what you hear, isn’t it. Every minute of every day.”
“Yes,” Sara told her. “Except for when I sleep. Does it trouble you? To hear them, that is?”
“No…it is…unsettling, though.”
“That’s because you aren’t used to it. In a way, you’re very lucky. You can quiet them whenever you wish.”
“You can’t, though.”
“I can somewhat,” Sara admitted. “But as I said, I’m used to them.”
“How…can you hear a single voice? One voice, out of so many?” Kes was awed.
Sara smiled again, thoughtfully. “Yes, if I try I can.”
“How?”
“How does one hear a voice in a room of many that are speaking aloud?” Sara asked back reasonably.
They had reached the airponics bay, and made their way to a bench at the corner. It wasn’t the most comfortable seat aboard ship, but that was reserved for the Captain.
“So then, it’s a learned behavior.” Kes was still trying understand.
“I don’t know honestly as learned or natural has anything to do with it. It’s just something that’s been there, most likely always.”
“Doesn’t your head hurt?” she blurted.
That drew a full-fledged laugh from Sara. “I’ve had headaches for as long as I can remember, which isn't saying much,” was her response. “It kind of goes with the territory. Gets a bit crowded inside, at times I suppose…but yes, it can hurt. Not to the point of causing me much pain.”
“And you can move things. Move them with your mind.”
Sara rarely used her psychokinetic powers in the company of others, well-tuned to the responses that they invoked. Now though, she grasped a pair of clippers that were no less than 5 meters away and floated them to Kes, hovering them in mid air.
“I would take that as a yes,” Kes laughed, running her fingers over the cool metal surfaces.
“I watched you.”
“Excuse me?” Kes’s head jerked upright, to stare into Sara’s dazzling blue eyes.
“I watched you, in the mess hall with Tannis. Moving the cup from side to side.”
“He was trying to teach me…” Kes stopped. She didn’t want to remember the way she felt again.
“It’s all right,” Sara patted Kes’s shoulder gingerly and gently, watching the young girl swallow. “For you…I saw the way Neelix reacted. The way he hugged you, and the way you two were so happy.”
Kes sensed there was more. “What is it?”
“For you…when you move a cup, it’s an accomplishment. But if I were to move a cup…well, the response would certainly be overwhelming.” Sara managed a slight rueful chuckle.
“I never knew how you felt, until today.” Her companion stared quietly at her.
“I don’t look for pity, know that.” The human girl was firm. “It’s just not the easiest thing, to be what I am.”
“I can imagine.” For someone so young, Kes had an amazing amount of compassion.
“You have to understand, Kes, that your telepathy is a natural thing, among your people. As it is with Tuvok, and all Vulcans. Betazoids are the same principle. I’m just not sure how many telepathic humans there are in the universe. Unfortunately, I happen to be one of them, no matter how many or few exist.”
“What…what happened? To you?”
“Kes,” Sara chuckled, “When I know the answer to that question myself, I’ll be sure to tell you. I don’t remember my past. I don’t remember if I was always this way, though I think I was. But that’s just an assumption on my part. Is there anything else that you would like to ask me?”
“Aren’t you ever lonely?”
“Don’t worry too much about me,” she got up, then reached over and patted her shoulder. “You have your own abilities to concentrate on. By nature, it is a tendency to fear what is not understood. When people are ready to see beyond that, they’ll make the time. I know that you work with Tuvok, and that’s a wonderful thing…but I’m there if you ever need me.”
“Thank you.” Kes was honestly grateful. Though she by nature accepted people unconditionally, thoughts of bothering them without cause or need still weighed heavily on her.
In the end, a hug was given, and received, and two people came to an understanding that most failed to grasp, or never bothered to try and find. Kes understood that Sara was not altogether that different from anyone else on the ship. She walked on two legs and required nourishment, just as everyone else did. Beyond the physical attributes, underneath the skin, beyond the life’s blood that pumped through her body, there were feelings, normal, actual feelings, feelings that were hurt by the actions of others and scorned by those that did not care to see anything except someone who was, in actuality, different.
Someone that had no choice other than to accept the situation.
Don’t laugh at me
Don’t call me names
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain
In God’s eyes
We’re all the same
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings
Don’t laugh at me. Feed me please! Back to index page
