There was nothing special about the next two days as they made their way towards Qwerty. Mike recovered from his Jack Daniels with surprising good humor and Lloyd and Floyd had decided that it was too dangerous to disagree on this ship so, were temporarily holding their peace. Aara surprised herself by finding this lull boring rather than blissful as she knew she would have in the past. But eventually the days went by and Qwerty came into sharper focus, Mike became re-animated and Lloyd and Floyd became agitated again. It seemed that Aara was going to, at last, have some fun. Mike was surprised by the obvious change in Aara, she had gone from being uptight and tense, worried about each tiny little thing, to being a lot of fun. She hadn’t even blown up at him after the event with the Automatic Service. Amazing. But as the planet approached, he stopped feeling bewildered and began to think of all the wonderful things he would be able to do now that he was off Earth and had cut all links to his pigheaded homeland. A point he had to owe to Aara, but somehow they no longer seemed to be keeping score, and it was a definite improvement.
There was a sound. A little, insignificant sound that was following Mike around. It wasn’t too unpleasant but he was starting to doubt his sanity, It didn’t seem to be bothering anyone else so he didn’t want to say anything. It was a bit unnerving however and he locked the door and privately plugged into the auto-sane analyzer which was secretly developed from the simple, annoying and downright stupid human AI, Eliza or, more precisely, a spin-off called K&K therapist designed by two budding master-programmers named Katie and Keagan. People tended to go away from the auto-sane much less sane than they went in. Mike was no exception. The session went a bit like this.('A' stands for auto-sane and 'M' stands for Mike)
A: Hello, I am your therapist, how can I help you my child?
M:Um... Well... I’ve been hearing this noise.
A: Did you hear many noises in your childhood?
M: Yes, actually, I did.
A: Why don’t you tell me about them?
M: I don’t think they’re...well...relevant to this particular noise.
A: I think you should bring me some pictures of these noises from your childhood.
M: You can’t take a picture of a noise.
A: Excuse me... can you elaborate?
M: On what?
A: Have you ever considered having a pet slug?
M: No.
A: I still think you should elaborate on that.
M: On what?
A: I’m insulted!
M: I don’t quite follow you
A: I wouldn’t follow me anywhere
M: Neither
A: Is there something you should be telling me?
M: I think we were talking about a noise
A: A NOISE! How intriguing
M: Do you think that I am insane?
A:insane? I don’t understand
M: But you’re a therapist!!
A: No, I’m a chimpanzee
M: Well silly me
A: I’ve raised my fee again and if you don’t pay I’ll shoot you
M: But your not a therapist!!
A: No, I’m a chimpanzee with a gun
M: I’d better be going...
A: GOING? How intriguing.
M: yes, going.
A: I think you should elaborate on that
M: I... AM... GOING... TO... LEAVE... NOW
A: Are you inclined to stand on your head at formal banquets?
M: Are you insane?
A: No, I’m a therapist
M: I thought you were a chimpanzee
A: A CHIMPANZEE? How intriguing.
M: With a gun...
A: Maybe your problem has to do with guns
M: Actually it had to do with a.....wait, I’ve forgotten what I was going insane about!
A: maybe you should elaborate on that...
M: Goodbye!
A: Farewell! I will send you the bill.
That was the very last time Mike ever heard the noise again, actually the noise turned out to be the Auto-Sane bleeping to tell him it was time for his moral-boosting counseling session.
