THE BOYS CLUB [PART 7]
by ALM_Voyager- (c) May 9, 2000
- Disclaimer: Voyager belongs to Paramount Pictures. No infringement intended.
"Get ready," B'Elanna said, sweat beading her brow, "in five seconds that door is going to slide open!"
"4 . . ." Raven started counting, ". . 3 . . . 2 . . ."
"CHARGE!" Caffey yelled! The Four Women rushed the holo-harem and were surprised to see the men armed and ready. Dropping to the floor and finding cover they listened as Tom Paris addressed them.
"Surrender now and you all can keep your panties!" Tom yelled.
"Like Hell, Tom!" B'Elanna roared from her position behind an overturned, intricately designed table.
"Where's the Captain?!" Caffey whispered in a hush. "Do you see her?"
Raven popped up behind her pile of cover cushions, "There she is!!! And HOT DAMN she looks good in those pants--"
"Raven!! Get down!!" Kadi shouted but it was too late.
One moment Raven was standing up with a goofy, love struck grin on her face, the next moment a "pop" resounded through the harem and Raven was covered in wet green paint.
Everyone stopped.
Raven gasped.
No one moved.
"WAAAAAAAA," she cried.
"AYIYIYIYIYIYI!" Kadi jumped up and the other women started forward as well. "BRING IT ON!"
"CHARGE!" Chakotay stated the magic word and the computer complied with a trumpet resounding of a civil war charge-tune.
"Ow! OW! OW!" Dawson exclaimed as Caffey followed him around aiming her nerfballs at precious goods. "OW STOP STOP STOP! STOP OR I'll FIRE!"
"OH no you won't!" Caffey kicked his paint-ball riffle out of his hands.
"Harry!" Tom hollered as he dodged B'Elanna and threw a pillow at her, knocking the Klingon-woman off her feet, "look out for Kadi!"
No sooner had Harry turned than he was tackled by a woman in black leather.
"Hey Harry," Kadi looked down at the man she had tackled. She was breathless, and darned a wicked smile, "My sword is bigger than yours."
Chakotay rushed towards Kathryn, and swore as he saw her sprint in the other direction.
He dodged various nerf balls and was gaining on her as they seemed to be running in circles. One inch closer and he would be able to grab her! His fingers strained as he reached forward and suddenly . . . suddenly . . . his foot hit a slippery spot of paint and his feet went up from underneath him.
Kathryn never knew what hit her (for the second time that day) -- one moment she was sprinting in circles, trying to outrun Chakotay and doing one hell of a job at it, the next she was being propelled forward by his tumbling body. "First you crash my shuttles, then you crash my parties and now you crash me?!" Kathryn yelled as they slid along the floor, out of control, spinning every which way on their butts.
"Holo-Harem program ended," the computer stated as the characters and scenery disappeared at once and the door to the holodeck opened.
Tuvok stepped through just in time to be hit in the head with a nerf ball, see a steel, circular piece of weaponry whiz by his head and to see the Captain and the Commander go sliding by him, on the floor.
The Doctor ran his medical tri-corder up and down the individuals in his sickbay. He frowned at the colorful smudges they were leaving everywhere and raised an eyebrow at the costumes that adorned most of them.
"Hmm-- The paint should come off in three days --" he started.
"THREE DAYS?" they all exclaimed.
"IF you use the lotion I created," he said smartly.
The women turned to glare at the men.
"As for the bruises from the nerf-balls," the Doctor continued, "I can--" he paused catching the Captain's warning look, "I can leave them be and let them heal naturally as they well should," he let the words tumble out of his mouth.
The group sighed and started to get up and leave.
"Oh, Captain?" the Doctor spoke up. "Mind if I get a picture of this for my holo-album?"
"Someone stop her!" Raven shouted as Kathryn started to move angrily forward.
Kathryn awoke and moaned at her bruised body. Sitting up she scratched at the patches of colorful paint that adorned most of her body.
"Raven to the Captain," a soft voice came through the combadge that was placed, off to the side, on Kathryn's table.
"Kathryn here," she smiled to herself.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Captain," Raven said sincerely.
"Ensign! You did the best you could do!" Kathryn offered her. "I'll be out to meet you all for lunch in a half an hour. Kathryn out," she stated.
Yawning, she slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe. Replicating a cup of coffee she moved to her desk where she had millions of PADDS waiting for her. She turned on the monitor -- awaiting Neelix's GOOD MORNING VOYAGER to cover yesterdays' civil war -- but instead was greeted with an incoming message. Pushing the accept button, she could only blink at the image which produced itself on screen . . . an image of herself . . . caught in the act . . . holding a jockstrap . . . she took a big, in-drawn breath, "DAMN YOU CHAKOTAY!!!! AND DAMN THE BOYS CLUB TOO!"
Chakotay smiled to himself, snuggling deeper into his blankets. It was going to be a rather . . . colorful . . . day.
THE "END!" (There's always more to come in a series!)
Any suggestions or ideas on what you'd like to see happen with the Girls Club and the Boys Club? Email me and I'll try and incorporate them into the series (you'll, of course, be credited with the idea!)
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