Minding
Author: Mnemosyne
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: Missing scene from "Surprise." Kyle watches
over Tess as she dreams.
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to and including "Surprise."
Feedback: Kind words appreciated!
Distribution: Yours for the taking!
Notes:
This idea came to me in a dream several weeks ago,
shortly after "Surprise" first aired. I don't think
the writers paid enough attention to Tess' battered
state in that episode, and even LESS to how the others
reacted to it. I desperately wanted to see a scene
where Kyle took a look at her and suddenly became all
protective. "Well," thought I, "if the writers won't
do it, then I'll have to."
This fic is the result.
Please note: This is my first "Roswell" fic with NO
mention of M&M, so I'm not sure how it's going to go.
Hopefully, it won't suck. Please let me know if you
like it!
Muse-ic: Dido; BtVS; Tori Amos
********
"I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exit, or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter, or treat you unkind
Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away..."
-The Rolling Stones
"Wild Horses"
(rerecorded by The Sundays)
********
Watching her sleep was oddly soothing. The Buddhists
didn't seem to mention that in all their books about
meditation-- that the simple act of watching another
person breathe as they dream could be so calming.
Of course, any and all calm he felt was dwarfed by the
anger that tore in riptides through his bloodstream
when he looked at Tess' bruised face. The wrestler in
him was quickly overpowering the fledgling Buddhist,
and the urge to go pound some heads was growing.
//Deep breaths, Kyle,// he thought, closing his eyes
and following his advice. //Get in touch with your
inner...sanctum, sainthood, whatever. Just calm the
hell down!//
Sure, that was going to happen.
His eyes forced themselves open again, and he decided
not to fight them. After all, despite the bruises,
the view was spectacular.
*******
He was watching her through a window suspended in air.
No walls surrounded the four panes of glass, but he
stood on the other side nonetheless. Watching.
Watching.
She lay curled in the middle of a great, black, satin
bed, the blankets tousled and churned. A collar of
rough-hewn iron was around her neck, attached by a
heavy chain to a lead ball on the floor by the bed.
She wanted to sit up, but couldn't muster the
strength. The collar held her down, flat on her
stomach, arms bent at the elbows, so that she gazed at
him over the curl of her knuckles.
She knew without looking that she was naked, but
somehow, that didn't matter. Her legs pressed
themselves together and curled up self-conciously, but
she didn't try to cover herself. She held his eyes,
knowing he wouldn't take advantage of her
vulnerability.
"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice strong though
her body was not.
"Beauty," he answered, as if the answer were simple.
******
"All right, Valenti, peaceful thoughts," Kyle coached
himself. "Running water, baby deer frolicking,
cheerleaders, Astros winning the World Series....
Peaceful, dammit!"
He growled with frustration and buried his fingers in
his hair as he bent forward over his knees. Buddhism
sure took a lot of concentration. Too bad he didn't
have any to spare right now. He was focusing it all
on her.
Almost as if she could read his mind, Tess mumbled
something in her sleep, and shifted in his bed. Kyle
looked up immediately, worried he might have woken
her. But her face hadn't changed, beyond a line over
her right eyebrow that could have been from
puzzlement.
He winced as he watched her. The bruises on her face
looked painful, and he could only begin to imagine
what the rest of her body felt like. According to his
father, she'd been pretty tossed around by that bitch
Whittaker. Why Max hadn't healed her he couldn't
imagine.
Kyle felt the anger course through his blood again,
and forced it back. Getting angry wouldn't do Tess--
or anyone else, for that matter-- any good. Taking a
few deep breaths, he poured the anger into different
channels, and let it deepen his attentativeness. He
wanted to be sure she didn't hurt anymore than she had
to.
A few strands of pale, blonde hair had fallen in her
eye when she moved, and he reached out now to brush
them back. Her hair was soft; silky. Like gossamer.
When the hell had he ever used the word gossamer?
Living with a girl was making him soft.
******
"How long have you been there?" she asked, deciding to
skip over his last answer for one less cryptic.
He shrugged. "Long enough."
That was enlightening.
She wanted to move, but the chain held her firmly, so
she decided not to struggle. It felt soothing, to be
wrapped in the satin sheets, his warm eyes watching
her like guardian angels.
She settled for curling her legs up further, and
tightening her loose fists a little. "Do you know why
I'm here?" she asked.
He nodded.
"Are you going to tell me?"
He didn't move.
//Guess that means no,// she thought, and closed her
eyes. It would be nice to fall asleep now. She felt
safe here. For some reason, she knew the world behind
him was unsafe. She didn't want to see it.
******
//What the hell am I doing?// Kyle asked himself as he
pulled the blankets away from Tess' body. She was
still dressed in the clothes she'd worn that day--
neither of the Valenti men had dared undress her, and
not only because of her gender. God only knew how
much she must ache, and tugging off her clothes would
have hurt like hell.
Guiding the blankets down her slim figure, Kyle
stepped back to gaze down at Tess thoughtfully. The
bruises seemed to be shrinking-- if slowly-- and he
figured that must have something to do with her alien
abilities. Thank God. Or was it thank Siddhartha?
Who exactly did you thank when you were a
Buddhist?
He really had to read those books again.
"What the hell are you talking about, Valenti?"
he said aloud. "Get your mind back to business."
Right.
Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed-- the first
time in known memory Kyle Valenti had done anything
gingerly; he was proud of himself-- he gently undid
the button on Tess' tight black jeans, then unzipped
the fly. It was bad enough she'd probably be sore to
beat the band tomorrow; Kyle knew from firsthand
experience that sleeping in your clothes sucked.
Especially tight ones. It was uncomfortable, and left
you feeling dirty and stiff the next morning.
Tess liked long showers. She wouldn't want to feel
dirty.
He raised her hips with one hand, and began to tug
down the jeans with the other, keeping his mind firmly
on the task at hand.
"And as for you, Little Kyle," he said aloud. "You
keep your head down."
********
Time seemed to work differently here. When she opened
her eyes, nothing had changed, though she knew hours
must have passed. Or perhaps just minutes? He still
stood gazing at her from behind the window,
unchanging.
"Why don't you come any closer?" she asked, curious.
"You can, you know. I won't hurt you."
He smiled-- a band of white across his handsome face.
"I know."
"Then why don't you come over here?"
"I don't want to hurt you."
As if he could ever hurt her. He was the only one
who'd ever made her feel safe. "You won't hurt me,"
she told him. "I trust you."
"I'd better stay here anyway. Just to be careful."
"Please." She didn't know where the emotion in her
voice came from, but it curled around her words and
made them fall like pebbles between herself and him.
Quick and gentle, but with a purpose. "Please, don't
stand over there. I'm tired of being alone."
Her voice seemed to have the desired effect. His face
creased with worry, and he uncrossed his arms.
"Please," she whispered, and there were tears on her
cheeks. "I don't want to be afraid anymore."
*******
//Forbidden words in this situation: deep, heat, wet,
tight, suck, fu-//
"Shut up!" Kyle told himself firmly, as he
draped Tess' jeans across his desk. "Do you want to
drive yourself crazy?"
//I'm talking to myself,// he thought. //Fantastic.
Aliens, and now voices in my head. What a catch.//
Whimpers behind him caught his attention, and he
turned around. Tess' face was etched into a fearful
expression, and she was twisting in his sheets like a
serpent.
Immediately, he was by her side, one hand on her
cheek, the other brushing back her hair and holding
her writhing limbs. "Tess? Tess, it's all right.
Shhh... Calm down, okay? You're gonna wake dad.
It's all right. I'm here. It's all right."
Eventually, her movements eased, and she calmed again.
She'd kicked off the blankets, but he didn't bother
to rearrange them over her. He kept stroking her hair
while he clutched her hand.
Had he been like this when he was shot? He didn't
remember anything about that. Probably not. There
had been no dreams or visions-- just blackness. Tess
was seeing things. He hoped they weren't too bad.
"I'm right here," he told her again, softly, running a
thumb over her cheekbone. "You don't have to worry.
I won't..."
*******
"....let anyone hurt you," he told her, and his hand
smoothed up her bare back. "I promise. You're safe
here."
She closed her eyes, and let the warm tingles from his
fingers spread out through her limbs until they
sizzled in her palms. It felt nice to have him next
to her, touching her so gently. She'd always known he
could be gentle. Something in his eyes had told her.
Something tender.
"What did you mean earlier?" she asked quietly, his
soft caresses making her drowsy. "When you said
'beauty?'"
"Shhh..." he hushed her, and combed his fingers
through her hair. "Just rest."
"I want to know," she said, stronger now. Not
petulant-- just persistent. "Please?"
He sighed, and then stretched out beside her, so his
hand still rested on the small of her back, but they
were eye to eye. His fingers traced circles on her
skin as he spoke, making it hard to concentrate, but
she forced herself.
"It means what you want it to mean," he explained.
She sighed. "Could you be less cryptic?"
"What do you want it to mean?"
That was a question. How was she supposed to answer
it, when she couldn't even understand what it meant?
His eyes were in front of hers, and she reached up a
tentative hand to touch his cheek. She decided to
take a chance.
"You," she murmured. "I think I want beauty to mean
you."
He smiled, and reached up to take her hand in his. He
kissed her palm.
"Then there's your answer," he said.
*******
Somehow, Kyle's hand had gone from Tess' cheek to her
stomach, just below the hem of her blue t-shirt, and
he was rubbing gentle circles over her navel. It
reminded him of his childhood, when he'd get sick.
His mother would sit beside him on the bed and rub his
stomach and say, "Poor Kyle. My poor baby. Mommy's
right here, sweetie."
He didn't know how Tess would react to being called a
"poor baby," let alone "sweetie," but it had always
made him feel better as a kid when his mother would
talk to him. So he spoke now.
"I hear Izzy kicked the crap out of Whittaker," he
said. "Really fried her cookies. I say good for her.
Get in touch with that inner-Xena, you know?"
"So, how's school? I mean, it's gotta suck, having to
pretend you're all human and stuff, when you're really
not. I suppose we have that in common-- you hiding
that you're an alien, and me hiding that I'm a
Buddhist." He paused. "Well, okay, so maybe they're
not really alike. All right, so they're totally
different. I don't have to worry about getting killed
because I'm a Buddhist, for one thing-- and just a
novice Buddhist at that. You, on the other hand. I
mean, you have to--"
//What. Are. You. Doing?// he asked himself,
shutting off his mouth. //You sound like a bad
psychic.//
He sighed, and rubbed his thumb across the back of
Tess' hand.
"You're going to be all right, Tess," he said, and she
was. In just the few hours since she'd been brought
back to the house, her bruises had diminished to faded
yellow blotches, and the cuts had almost healed. By
morning, she would be good as new, if a little stiff.
But he wanted to make sure she understood that, so he
said it again. "You're going to be just fine."
**********
She heard a soft click, and then the iron collar fell
away from her throat.
He smiled at her surprised expression. "You'll be
leaving soon," he said.
Her face fell. "I don't want to. I like it here."
He sat up, and helped her into a sitting position as
well. She didn't care that he could see virtually her
entire body. He didn't mention it, either.
"You'll like where you're going, too," he said. "I
promise."
"Why should I believe you?" she asked warily.
"Beauty, remember?"
She swallowed. "I still don't really understand what
that means," she admitted.
He smiled again, and took her hands. "It's hard to
explain," he told her, swinging her hands, "but I'll
try."
He looked straight into her eyes. "You're my
beauty," he told her. "Your trust-- that's beauty. Your
mistrust-- that's beauty, too. Your directness. Your
shyness. The way your hair falls just so behind your
ear. The way it sweeps up and back when you turn
around. How your eyes change color with your mood.
Beauty."
She gave him a puzzled look. "But what do you
MEAN?" she asked, frustrated. "I don't understand!"
He laughed then-- nothing derisive, but
light-hearted-- and gently tugged her closer.
"Contradictions, Tess," he murmured. "It's all about
contradictions. They give us strength, keep us on our
toes. Make life interesting. Keep us alive."
She ran her hands up his chest, and looped them behind
his neck. "Contradictions, huh?" she asked.
He nodded.
"Then you're my chosen contradiction?"
He grinned. "Of course. I mean, have you ever heard
of a gentle jock?"
******
He'd fallen asleep, and was resting on the pillow next
to her when Tess opened her eyes. She smiled.
Not wanting to wake him, she turned only her eyes
towards the clock on his desk. It read 5:23am.
Almost daybreak.
Her eyes caught on the jeans folded across the desk,
and she raised an eyebrow when she realized they were
hers. Glancing down her body, she smiled broader to
see his hand resting protectively on her stomach, the
fingers millimeters from the waistband of her white
bikini underwear.
Kyle felt warm next to her-- even warmer than in her
dream. Turning her head to look at him, she examined
his face, as if looking for some traces of his dreamself.
There were none. Reality was even better.
He must have sensed her eyes on him, because he woke
up a few minutes later; quietly, and with little fuss.
"Morning, Buddha boy," she said, grinning, as he
opened his eyes.
He smiled sleepily, and snuggled closer to her.
"Mornin'," he mumbled against her shoulder.
It took a few seconds for his position to sink in, and
she didn't say anything, preferring to let him figure
it out for himself.
When his eyes flew open, and he sat bolt upright, Tess
decided he must have realized what was going on.
"Oh, shit," he said quickly, and pitched himself out
of bed faster than she would have thought possible
this early in the morning.
She watched in amusement as he looked from her, to
himself, to her again, and blushed bright red. "Tess,"
he said quickly, "I swear, nothing happened. Honest
to God, or Siddhartha, or Buddha, or whatever. I
promise. I know the jeans aren't really helping my
case here, and the whole hand thing, and the waking up
in bed with me, but I swear-- honest to Christmas--
NOTHING happened-"
"Kyle," she broke in rationally, "shut up. I believe
you."
He blinked. "You do?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Tess laughed. "Well, the fact that you're still
wearing all your clothes kinda clued me in," she told
him.
Kyle glanced down at himself, took in his rumpled
t-shirt and jeans, and looked up, relieved. "Oh," he
said. "Oh, yeah. Totally. So, like I said, nothing
happened. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. The big N-O."
She smiled, and pushed herself up onto her elbows.
She winced.
Kyle was immediately by her side-- so quickly, she
jumped. "You all right?" he asked. "Do you need
something? Cold compress? Aspirin? Full body
massage? Anything?"
Tess couldn't help but laugh. "Kyle," she told him
firmly, "I am not a china doll. I'm
fine. Okay?"
He didn't seem convinced, but he relented. "All
right."
She reached out to cup his cheek. "For what it's
worth," she said softly, "thank you. For everything."
He grinned foolishly. "Well, you know what they call
me. Kyle, the Gentle Jock."
Tess looked at him sharply when he said that. "What'd
you call yourself?"
"What? Jock? Does that offend you or something?
Cause I've used worse--"
She chuckled, and ran a hand through her hair. "Never
mind," she said. "Just a dream I had."
"What, tonight?"
"Yeah."
"You dreamed about me?"
"Maybe."
"Ok, if I leap around and whoop for joy, would that
paint me as a lunatic, or just horny?"
"I'd shoot for both, Buddha boy."
"All right, then I'll just sit here quietly."
Tess laughed again-- she hadn't laughed this much in a
long time-- and held out her hand to him. "It's 5:30
in the morning, buddy," she said. "Sit there, schmet
there. I'm going back to sleep, and I'm too tired to
argue with you. So get up here, and no lip."
Kyle looked a little petrified as she motioned for him
to join her on the bed. "Um, Tess? Do you really
want me-"
"You're lipping, Kyle."
"I just figured I'd point out the fact-"
She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed
beside her. Snuggling under his chin, she smiled.
"Doesn't that feel good?" she asked.
She could feel him gulp. "Uh, yeah. But...um, don't
people usually save the whole physical contact thing
till, like, the third date?"
Tess yawned, and nestled closer. "Call it a
contradiction," she murmured.
The End
Click to go Somewhere else!
Good-Tess Fic II
Bad-Tess Fic II
Alt.-Tess Fic II
Tess POV Fic II
Kyle and Tess Fic
