Endless Night, Dawning Day

by Molly Wells: obiwan@efcnexus.com

Where has the starlight gone?

Dark is the day

How can I find my way home?

Home is an empty dream

Lost to the night

Father, I feel so alone.

You promised you'd be there

Whenever I needed you

Whenever I call your name

You're not anywhere.

I'm trying to hold on

Just waiting to hear your voice

One word, just a word will do

To end this nightmare.

"Endless Night" from The Lion King

Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi desperately needed to meditate, to get away from all the people who kept coming up to him and giving him their

condolences, and pretending they understood his loss. Various dignitaries of Naboo, pilots, senators, even citizens from off the street having

heard of his so-called "heroic" deeds. Lost in his thoughts, he found himself in the Queen's Garden, which was just outside the south entrance

to the Palace. It was a beautiful and lush area full of exotic flowers from around the galaxy, handpicked by Queen Amidala herself. He had

found the garden soothing. Obi-Wan would sometimes wander about it thinking about nothing at all...or trying at least. He sat down on a

nearby stone bench, and let his thoughts drift.

The last week since Qui-Gon's death at the hands of the mysterious Sith warrior had been chaotic to say the least. The dark circles under his

eyes attested to the fact that he had gotten little sleep, and truth be told, he hadn't been eating very well either. There was just so much for him

to do -- including endless sessions with the Jedi Council regarding the Sith menace, as if talking about his fight with the warrior would

immediately solve things. There was also the matter of his new charge, Anakin Skywalker. The precocious little boy had wormed himself into

the Jedi's life, at the wish of his dying master. Anakin had become his Padawan, so soon after his own appointment as a Jedi Knight. At the

moment, the boy was on his way back to Coruscant, to train a year at the Jedi Temple before he was handed back over to Obi-Wan to teach.

The Council felt this was the best course of action, given the fact that Anakin hadn't grown up with the benefit of Jedi training.

Secretly, Obi-Wan was glad the boy was elsewhere. He didn't feel ready for the responsibilities thrust on his young and inexperienced

shoulders. He just needed to be left alone, having had precious little time to properly deal with his feelings of anger, grief, and loneliness,

especially loneliness. Qui-Gon had been his master/father/friend since he was 13, and to suddenly find himself alone was a bit disconcerting.

He felt lost. Sitting alone in the Garden, where not as much as a bird stirred, his feelings of grief threatened to overwhelm him. Who could he

turn to now that the only one he'd ever completely trusted in was gone? Who would hug him and tell him everything was going to be all right?

He didn't even have the comfort of a family to go to in times of need like most other people did. He had been identified as Force-strong early

in life, and was taken away to the Temple to be trained as a Jedi. Qui-Gon had been his family instead, and now he was gone.

Family. Obi-Wan's thoughts drifted, and he found himself fondly remembering a time about a year after he had become Qui-Gon's

apprentice...

14 YEARS AGO

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had just completed a mission on Ternakk for the Council. The negotiations between two rival clans had been fraught

with disaster, and civil war had been narrowly averted by the Jedi's diplomatic skills. After nearly a month of hard work on Qui-Gon's part, an

agreement had been reached that would put the opposing sides on the path to a peaceful existence. Obi-Wan, as Qui-Gon's apprentice, had

quietly observed all the goings on during the mission, and could probably expect to be questioned by his Master later as to what he had

learned. For now they were enjoying some much needed down time on a nearby jungle planet, as they were in between missions at the

moment.

Qui-Gon decided to use their free time to teach Obi-Wan a particularly difficult mental exercise that would strengthen his ability to shield his

mind from powerful outside influences. The two had been at it for nearly half the morning, and Obi-Wan's frustrations were beginning to

hamper his efforts to succeed. Qui-Gon could probably sense his Padawan's growing feeling of disappointment in himself for not being able to

get it right. Obi-Wan simply didn't want to let his Master down and make Qui-Gon regret his decision to take him on as his apprentice. He just

had to get this right!

Obi-Wan heard his master sigh. 'Uh, oh,' he thought, 'now Qui-Gon's gonna lay it on me about what a failure I am, and how this exercise is so

easy a 5-year-old could've gotten the hang of it sooner!'

"Why don't we take a break, Ben? You've been at it awhile, and I'll bet a walk along the Dwarae River will calm your mind," said Qui-Gon,

using Obi-Wan's birth name with affection as he gave his apprentice a grin.

"Thank you, Master!" Not expecting the reprieve, a grateful Obi-Wan jumped up, ready to hug Qui-Gon in his joy. He stopped himself short,

reminding himself it probably wasn't proper Padawan behavior to hug your Master. 'It's one thing to train with him, but it's quite another to hug

the man,' he reprimanded himself silently. For his part, Qui-Gon rose from his seated position in one fluid motion and looked expectantly at his

apprentice. Dusting himself off, Obi-Wan nodded and began to walk.

Ternakk was known the galaxy over for the spectacular blooms on the shimmering Neweorq tree. They had many useful medicinal purposes

and were much sought after, as Ternakk was the only planet to have the trees. Obi-Wan was enjoying the beauty of the trees' blooms when he

heard laughter up ahead. Using the Force to amplify the sound, he sought its source and located a young couple up ahead, apparently

picnicking under a cluster of Neweorq's. With them was a young boy who looked no younger than two standard years old. The little boy

squealed with delight and waved his hands around to imitate a spaceship as his father picked him up and twirled him around and around, until

even Obi-Wan was dizzy from watching. The mother looked up from arranging the food, laughing at their antics with delight. The bond

between parents and child was evident to his young eyes, and for the first time, Obi-Wan wondered about his own family. He had been taken

from them as a baby and so naturally had no memory of them. Where were they now? Did he have any brothers or sisters? His thoughts

drifted, and Qui-Gon, walking silently beside him, could sense that his Padawan was distracted by something. Obi-Wan was barely aware of

his master's presence, such were the depths of his thoughts.

"What are you thinking about, my young Padawan?" Qui-Gon inquired, startling Obi-Wan out of his reverie. He turned to his master, his large

brown eyes expressing several emotions at once.

"Master, I..."Obi-Wan stopped, unsure if he should continue. Qui-Gon looked expectantly at the boy, patiently waiting for him to go on. He

knew Obi-Wan would speak when he was good and ready.

"Master Qui-Gon, you are a great teacher, and like a father to me, but..." he trailed off, suddenly uncomfortable.

"But what?" Qui-Gon asked, raising an eyebrow at his apprentice's sudden discomfiture.

"I was just curious about my family," Obi-Wan stated. "My REAL family."

Qui-Gon, who had no doubt already guessed the reason for Obi-Wan's distraction, stopped walking to look at his Padawan. When he didn't

speak right away, Obi-Wan blushed an unhealthy shade of red and looked sheepishly down at his boots. He didn't relish the thought of another

one of Qui-Gon's grueling punishments. He heard Qui-Gon sigh, and looked up to face the Jedi Master.

Part Two

"Obi-Wan, you know the Council's policy regarding that," Qui-Gon reminded him.

It was true. Jedi trainees are told early on that the Jedi are their family. Also, the Council does not allow parents to have contact with the

children they've given up to become Jedi. It is their belief that having another "family" in addition to their fellow Jedi would only serve to divide

a Jedi's loyalties, causing them to lose focus when it was crucial. One could easily be torn between duty as a Jedi and duty as a son or

daughter. The Council simply wanted to spare them that decision. Children in the Temple are told only their birth name, so that they will always

have that connection to their past and carry a part of their parents with them. It was when they came to the Temple on Coruscant that they

were given a new name, to symbolize their "rebirth" into the Jedi order. Obi-Wan had always know his birth name was Ben Lars, but that

didn't help him now.

"Can't you tell me anything about them? I'm just curious, that's all." To any passers-by, he would've sounded casual, but the pleading note in

Obi-Wan's voice was obvious to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon seemed to think, then spoke. "We are not going to have this conversation, Obi-Wan. The Council and I might not see eye to eye on

much, but I do agree with them in this matter. It is for the best."

"But, Master! Is it wrong to want to know where I come from? Who my people are? I'm dedicated to being a Jedi - trained for it my whole

life! Knowing my real family couldn't possibly change that, or anything else!" Obi-Wan exclaimed.

"No, Padawan, it is not wrong. But were I to ask the Council for information on your family, they would surely take action to prevent you from

locating them. I'm just trying to spare you that," Qui-Gon stated softly. "They are wont to spare Padawans from falling prey to untoward

outside influences - including their families." Qui-Gon stressed the last statement.

Obi-Wan looked dejected, but also angry at Qui-Gon's refusal to help him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Qui-Gon held up his hand to

silence his apprentice.

"I know you're curious about your origins, as are most Jedi at some point or another, but there is nothing to be done."

It must have been a combination of the heat and their discussion that caused Obi-Wan to absent-mindedly push up the sleeves of his tunic. On

his left forearm, just above the inside of his elbow was a smallish, crescent-shaped birthmark. Obi-Wan had always thought it ugly, and tried to

keep it covered whenever he could. But his mind was on other things at the moment, and covering his mark was not one of them.

Qui-Gon interrupted his musings by suddenly saying, "Well, I think our break has lasted long enough - time to get back to work. I expect you

to master the technique we were practicing earlier by the time we leave Ternakk tomorrow morning. The Council has another mission for us

before we head back to Coruscant."

That was Qui-Gon's not-so-subtle way of telling Obi-Wan that the subject was closed. Qui-Gon started to head back to where they had been

earlier, while Obi-Wan stood silently in thought. All that had just transpired was being neatly tucked away in his mind, ready for Obi-Wan to

mull over when he had time to. Suddenly, as if someone had called him, he too followed in the direction his Master had gone.

"Every endless night has a dawning day,

every setting sun has a shining ray."

-Ricky Martin's "Private Emotion"

Obi-Wan was snapped out of his reverie by an insistent voice.

"Kenobi? Jedi Kenobi, sir?" It was a royal messenger, who looked barely old enough to shave. Obi-Wan eyed the boy, silently giving him

permission to speak.

"A Master Windu of the J...Jedi Council is on the c...comm unit and wishes to speak with you. He says it's imp..portant, sir," the boy managed

to stutter out.

The Jedi really didn't feel like another round with the one of the more senior members of the esteemed Council. He hated to dismiss the Jedi

Master like this, but it was better then making a fool of himself. Actually, he could barely summon up the strength to even think.

"Could you tell Master Windu that I will contact him later this afternoon, if that's alright?" he requested of the trembling figure beside him. Why

are people so scared of the Jedi? he wondered. We've never done anything to cause people to fear us. Obi-Wan sent waves of calm

through the Force, and almost instantly the boy straightened slightly and cleared his throat, but didn't leave.

"Uh, Sir? He said the matter requires your immediate attention."

Obviously, Mace Windu knew Obi-Wan would most likely try to avoid another conversation with anybody from the Council, but there was no

getting around it this time it seemed. He sighed defeatedly and got to his feet. I'm going to regret this, I just know it, he thought to himself.

Seeing that Obi-Wan was going to take the call, the messenger informed him, "You can take the call in your quarters, Mr. Kenobi."

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said, nodding his head in acknowledgement. He began walking in the direction of his temporary quarters, given to him

by the Queen for the duration of his stay on Naboo. He had a sinking feeling it was about to come to an abrupt end.

Obi-Wan entered his room, carelessly throwing his cloak on his sleeping pallet as he passed by. Sitting down at his desk, he activated the

comm unit. On the screen, the dark face of Master Mace Windu appeared. The Jedi Knight bowed his head in respect, and asked, "You

wanted to speak with me, Master?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan," replied Windu. "The government of planet Osmoor-el has enlisted the help of the Jedi. The people on the planet have been in

the throes of a revolution for nearly sixteen standard years. Their ruler, King Asfixad, recently died. The people were unhappy with him and

sought a new leadership, angering Asfixad. He resisted any effort to replace him, and resorted to using his army to oppress the people, so they

had no opportunities to overthrow him. His death cleared the way for a new leader to be elected, and Osmoor-el does not wish to make the

same mistake twice. However, there are several high profile candidates, and there is always the threat of violence breaking out. This is why

they are asking the assistance of the Jedi to help moniter the election process."

"And how does this affect me?" inquired Obi-Wan, trying to sound polite but probably failing miserably.

"The Council is sending you and another Jedi Knight to aid in the election, and ensure it runs smoothly."

Obi-Wan didn't speak for a minute. A mission? He couldn't possibly! His self-doubts prompted him to say, "My humble apologies, Master

Windu, but I don't think I'm up to a mission yet. You'll have to get someone else to help you."

The pain in his eyes and the tightness in his voice at that moment almost caused Windu to acquiesce to the young man's wish. But the logical

part of his mind told him that in order to help Obi-Wan heal, he had to get him away from the planet that was the source of the internal anguish

he wanted no one to see.

"You don't seem to understand, Obi-Wan," Windu stated firmly, "this wasn't a request. There are no other Jedi closer to the planet then you

and Jedi Knight Bruck Reiff, and the elections are in two standard days."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened slightly when Mace Windu casually mentioned the name of the other Knight to go to Osmoor-el. Bruck had been a

boy who'd tormented Obi-Wan endlessly at the Temple when they were younger, calling him names like "Ofy-Wan" and teasing him because

no Masters would take him on as a Padawan Learner. He was also surprised to find that Bruck himself had managed to become a Padawan,

despite his many faults. I'd like to know how that happened! Obi-Wan thought.

"Besides," Windu said gently, interrupting his thoughts "the change in scenery will do you good. We all miss him too, you know. But your

actions will continue to honor his memory."

Obi-Wan could see no way around it. He was, after all, a Jedi Knight, dedicated to ensuring the peace around the galaxy. He had a duty to

perform and he couldn't allow his personal problems to affect that duty. As much as he might like to, he couldn't avoid the world forever. He

knew this, and knew also that the Council was trying to get him back into things by giving him a mission that wouldn't be too taxing for him.

There was a pause, then Obi-Wan slowly, almost imperceptibly nodded. "Of course, Master Windu. When do I leave for Osmoor-el?"

"Tomorrow morning a Corellian transport on it's way to the Nedarii System will pick you up in the Main Hanger. Jedi Bruck will board at a

nearby planet. I expect the two of you to do a good job of representing the Jedi, Obi-Wan. Good luck!"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Obi-Wan muttered.

Part Three

"When will the dawning break?

Oh, Endless Night

Sleepless I dream of the day

When you were by my side

Guiding my path

Father, I can't find the way.

You promised you'd be there

Whenever I needed you

Whenever I call your name

You're not anywhere.

I'm trying to hold on

Just waiting to hear your voice

One word, just a word will do

To end this nightmare."

"Endless Night" from The Lion King

The next morning, after a heartfelt goodbye from Queen Amidala, her many handmaidens and several dignitaries, Obi-Wan boarded the

"Menacer," the ship that would take him and Bruck to Osmoor-el. He had long since decided that whatever being controlled his fate must have

decided he needed some extra punishment - just in case he wasn't hurting enough already. The captain herself, a stout woman named Kathryn

Tamorz, was there to greet him and personally show him to his quarters.

"It's quite an honor for us to transport you and your friend, Jedi Kenobi," she was saying as they were walking down the hall leading to the

guest quarters. "Our little ship may not be much to look at, but she's a sturdy thing, able to get you anywhere you need to go."

Under his breath, Obi-Wan muttered bitterly, "He's not my friend."

Kathryn looked over at the Jedi. "What?" she questioned. She thought she'd heard him say...no, a Jedi wouldn't say things like that.

"It's nothing, Captain. I simply said that Jedi Bruck isn't my friend. I haven't seen him in years, and this is the first and only mission we will have

together," Obi-Wan clarified.

The two stopped just outside Obi-Wan's quarters as the Captain keyed in the code to open the door to the room. Obi-Wan followed her

inside as she said, "Oh, of course. Well, just so you know, it'll take us 'bout 1 standard hour to get to Rumal to pick up the...other Jedi. Then

it's on to Osmoor-el, where we'll drop you off. If you need anything, anything at all, just call on the comm unit. We're a pretty small crew, but

we'll not ignore our honored guests." She smiled a motherly smile that touched Obi-Wan somewhere deep inside, a place he thought was not

there after Qui-Gon's sudden, traumatic death. He felt as if he could trust this woman with his most intimate secrets if he wanted to.

Kathryn Tamorz was one of those rare individuals that everyone, no matter what their background, liked instantly. She turned to leave, but on

her way out she paused and added, without looking at the Jedi behind her, "Even if you just need an ear to listen to ya, you know where to find

me."

"Thank you for your hospitality, Captain. It is greatly appreciated by the Council, and myself," said Obi-Wan. Kathryn nodded and left. With

that, she was gone, leaving Obi-Wan alone once more.

The weary Jedi walked further into the room while rummaging through his sack for the datacards on Osmoor-el he had gotten from Naboo in

order to familiarize himself with the planet. The cards contained various and sundry details relating to its culture, government, and people. He

sighed as he dropped the sack on the floor next to his sleeping pallet and gratefully sank down on the soft, feather filled mattress.

Hours later, having read the multitude of datacards, Obi-Wan began to meditate. He had many things on his mind that he would have to deal

with in order to perform the mission on Osmoor-el with any degree of success. This was going to be his first mission as a Jedi Knight, and,

more importantly, his first without Qui-Gon by his side. Obi-Wan had severe doubts in his ability to handle the situation on his own. Well, he

grudgingly amended mentally there was Bruck. But he'd be working with Bruck soon enough, so there was no need to think of him now, right?

He had barely begun to relax when he felt the ship start a sudden descent. We must be on Rumal thought Obi-Wan. Despite that knowledge,

he continued his meditations. A small voice inside him told him that he was avoiding Bruck, and that sooner or later he would have to face his

former tormentor. He'd rather it be later. Obi-Wan heard muffled noises coming from the quarters directly to his left, and the voices of (he

assumed) the Captain and Bruck. It took him only a moment to drown out those noises he found disturbing and find the center of calm

necessary to meditate. He was so focused that he didn't even hear the door open.

"Oafy-Wan Kenobi! It's been a long time," exclaimed Bruck as he strode in to Obi-Wan's private quarters, chuckling.

Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open at the other Jedi's sudden outburst. Mentally, he said Not long enough but aloud he returned the Knight's

greeting with an unemotional, "Hello, Bruck."

"I, uh, thought something might be wrong when you weren't there to greet me. The nice Captain said she thought you might be in your quarters.

So here I am!"

"I was in the middle of meditating," said Obi-Wan, not elaborating. He didn't owe Bruck anything, much less an explanation for why he wasn't

there to greet the Jedi. Obi-Wan remained in the meditation position Bruck had found him in, making no move either way to welcome him in or

push him out. For his part, Bruck had advanced no further into the room. He could no doubt sense the wall of repressed rage directed at him

coming from Obi-Wan's direction, and knew why it was there.

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence in the room. Both men were unsure what to do next since the last time they had seen each

other, Bruck had nearly cost Obi-Wan his last chance of becoming a Padawan. Finally, Bruck broke the ice by offering, "Look, I uh, heard

about Master Qui-Gon, and.I just wanted to say that his loss is felt by the whole Order, even though they don't all show it. I was shocked

when I heard he was killed by a Sith."

Obi-Wan, who had been staring at Bruck, quietly listening to his attempt at conversation up to this point took in a sudden breath and averted

his eyes. He wouldn't allow Bruck to see the pain reflected in them, and he wouldn't allow his one time bully, of all people, to see him like this!

He just stared at the floor; anywhere but at Bruck.

"Bruck," Obi-Wan said brokenly, though he was trying hard to sound normal, "I really don't feel like discussing this right now." Obi-Wan

rubbed his temple wearily, feeling a headache coming on. He calmed his features to where he thought they looked normal and looked up at the

other man.

Bruck gave a humorless laugh, "Sure, I understand. But before I go back to my quarters, there's something else I'd like to say if you don't

mind." Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say anything, Bruck interjected, "Please, hear me out will you?"

He sighed, and nodded, "Sure."

The other Jedi paused a moment to collect his thoughts, took a few deep breaths, and begun. He sounded nervous when he finally spoke. "I've

had this conversation hundreds of times in my head, but now that you're right in front of me, I can't think of a damn thing to say." Bruck ran a

shaky hand through his hair, showing how unnerved he was. Obi-Wan stared at the other Jedi quizzically, but remained silent. What was Bruck

trying to say? Bruck interrupted his musings by suddenly blurting out, "Look, I just want to say I was wrong all those years ago..." there was a

pause, then in a quieter voice, "and I'm sorry."

More to Come...

DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction written in appreciation of Star Wars; to promote the franchise and to keep it alive. All

characters and settings original to Star Wars are copyright to Lucasfilm, Ltd. The rest is copyright to the author. No profit was

gained from this story.