“Janeway to Chakotay.”
“Yes captain?”
“Could you please report to my ready room.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Did you need something Captain?” Chakotay asked as he step through the doors of her ready room to see her sitting at her desk holding a pad.
“Yeah, I needed to give you this,” she said looking up at him and smiling.
“What’s it about?” he asked as he stepped forward to take the pad she was holding out for him.
“You’ll see, you can read it now if you’d like,” she told him as she got up to go and sit down on her couch.
Following he joined her on her couch and proceeded to read what the pad said:
I’ve been trying not to love you
I’ve been putting up a fight
I’ve been barely holding on
And letting go with all my might
There’s a part of me that’s empty
I know only love can fill
I’m afraid I’ll never find it
And I’m scared to death I will
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
I’ve been holding conversations
When I haven’t said a word
I’ve been speaking with my silence
And praying that you heard
I’m a walking contradiction
I’d hate to be my heart
It keeps trying not to love you
But it don’t know where to start
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
I’ve go to learn to re-trust
To turn into us
And I really don’t know if I can again
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
I’ve been trying not to love you
I’ve been putting up a fight
I’ve been barely hanging on
Letting go with all my might
She watched him reread the message she had put on the pad patiently knowing that this was going to come as a surprise to him.
“Kathryn?” he asked looking into her eyes searching for answers to questions that he had yet to ask.
“Yes?” she questioned gazing back into his eyes seeing the questions that he needed the answers to.
“What do you want from me?” he asked her his eyes narrowing.
Shaking her head slightly and biting her lower lip she answered, “Nothing, it was silly of me to think you still or ever did love me. You can go now.”
“I…” he started but was interrupted by Kathryn, “Just go, you don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand perfectly I pushed you away and hurt you too many times.”
“Would you just shut up?”
“Excuse me?”
“I said shut up for one minute and let me tell you something.”
“Fine.”
“I was going to say I still love you, I’ve never stopped.”
“Oh.”
“And when I asked you what you wanted from me I meant what do you want us to do?”
“I’ve already made too many mistakes, you decide.”
“Are you sure you want me to decide?”
“Positive.”
“Okay, then I want you to meet me at holodeck 1 tomorrow at 1700 hours.”
“Okay, casual?”
“No Kathryn I want you to wear your uniform to our fist date.”
“I was just asking.”
“Sorry, yes it’s casual.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then.”
Kathryn took another look in the mirror before going to meet Chakotay for their first date. She decided on wearing a dark blue dress that stopped just above her knees. She had her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail with her usual make-up on.
Chakotay looked up from what he was doing as the computer notified him that Kathryn had arrived. Smiling to him self he finished setting the table in the cabin they were going to be eating in. She actually had great timing, for once; the food was just about done. “In here Kathryn,” he yelled hearing the door to the cabin open.
“Hey,” she said as she walked into the kitchen smiling warmly at him.
His mouth dropped open when he first saw her. Regaining some since he said, “You look stunning.”
“Thanks,” she said blushing slightly. “So what’s for dinner?”
“How was it?” he asked.
“It was great, doesn’t it say some where a first officer has to cook for his captain every night?” she questioned smiling.
“Maybe, right next to where it says the Captain always has to kiss her first officer good night,” he said returning the smile. “Come on lets go sit on the couch and eat dessert.”
“Okay.”
“So why haven’t we done this before now?” Chakotay asked Kathryn as he walked her back to her quarters.
“Because you let me make all the decisions,” she replied shrugging.
“Ah yes, well from now on you don’t get to make any choices in our relation ship,” he told her putting his arm around her waist.
“We have a relationship now?” Kathryn asked stopping to key in her access code.
“I want one and you said it was my choice remember?” he said following her into her quarters.
“Ah yes I do remember that. I had a great time tonight Chakotay,” she told him smiling.
“Me too, does it have to end?” he asked her shyly.
“I’m afraid so,” she told him seeing the disappointment in his eyes she raised her hand up to out line his tattoo and continued, “We don’t want this to go too far on the first date do we?”
“No probably not and if I stay I won’t ever leave again,” he told her bringing his hand up to gently caress her cheek. Lowering his head he kissed her on the lips shyly at first then as the kiss progressed it became more and more intense until she broke it off breath less she leaned her forehead against his chin and said, “You better go.”
“Yeah,” he said but didn’t move just pulled her closer into a hug then released her and headed toward the door stopping before exiting he turned back around and said, “Good night my love.”
“Good night,” she told him before the doors closed. Then she went and took a cold shower and went to bed still smiling.
