*~Untitled~*
I guess I try to hard,
*~Untitled~*
He sits,
*~Being~*
Gone so many places,
*~You Again~*
I thought I had met you,
*~The Darkness~*
It swells up inside like a monster waiting to escape.
~This poem touches on a deep part of my soul and I hope that you apprieciate the thoughts I am trying to share here.
*~You've Changed~*
You've change my dear.
*~Untitled~*
You said things would change.
*~The Friend~*
You say its right,
*~I Wonder~*
As I stand in the pouring rain,
*~My Death~*
I am going to die.
~This poem has nothing to do poetry and my thoughts...it is just something that came into my mind one day when I was sitting at the computer being bored out of my mind.
*~Don't die~*
I hate you so much and yet I love you.
*~Despair Not In The End~*
Sorrow and Rage fill my heart...
sometimes i dont try enough.
No matter what i do,
always it seems that im not wanted.
Its like I am an outcast one day,
and the next day I am loved with many good friends.
I wish I could see,
look outside of myself,
see what other people see.
I want to know what I am really like,
not from my point of view but from anothers.
I want to know how to act without trying too hard.
I want to know how to be me.
It seems so easy,
and yet it is so difficult.
Lost in thought.
He thinks,
he roams among the people.
He wonders,
he wishes,
he wants.
He roams out into the world,
lost in thought,
confused.
Whether he should go or stay,
he does not know.
Lost in thought once more he sits,
he sits in a puddle of his own thoughts.
He finally gives up,
lost in nothing but his own dark thoughts.
seen so many faces.
Leaving,
coming back,
things always changing.
What to do,
who to hang out with.
Being here,
and maybe there.
Living a dream that
is truly a reality.
Growing up,
becoming a being of life.
Truly trying to be myself,
being a freak instead.
Trying to hard,
not trying enough.
Giving up,
giving in.
Being strong,
saying no.
Being who I am,
not caring what others think.
Just being, and living.
the real you.
For once in my life
I thought I had met an honest you.
I was wrong.
You turned around and threw it in my face.
A year later you finally showed your true colors.
You showed me what people could really be like.
Now I know that life is nothing
but a blur that will pass you by
if your not careful.
Now I know that people
can be liars and still turn around
and charm you to death...
The hurt inside is something
you will never understand
or even try to understand.
You are not even worth the lines
I have just written about you.
You are out of my life forever
and I will never look back at the pain.
It hurts.
It cuts into my soul like a knife.
Feel so betrayed I try to scream.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
Not even a whisper can escape.
Alone and helpless, an anger slowly builds.
Waiting to explode I sit with mixed emotions.
I become a time bomb waiting to go off.
I try not to cry and then I try not to scream.
I want to express myself so badly but I cannot.
I am afraid of losing the only thing I have left
and yet it is already slipping away.
The one thing that once saved me is now gone.
In its place is a darkness.
It disapeared with betrayal.
True colors now shown,
I can't help but wonder where I went wrong.
Where did we go wrong?
Friendship became painful and I got played.
Oh wait...I get it now.
I guess I finally understand.
I guess I now know how people can really be.
Cruel, inconsiderate b*tches.
You've changed so much.
For the better or for the worse I cannot say.
You left and one day and then you appeared.
You came back into my life.
I was so happy and yet I noticed a change.
You no longer looked at me the same way.
I know longer looked at you the same way.
We have grown a part in your absence.
You've changed and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
You've changed
and yet i long for you to be in my arms.
You've changed
and thats all I can think about.
You've changed
and Changes are final for us.
You lied to me.
I believed in you after all you had done to me.
You said things would be different.
How could I be so naive?
I was so afriad to let go and once again I gave in.
I gave into something that is not real.
I gave into something I didn't even understand.
This time is going to be different.
This time I am not going to give in.
I will believe you lies any longer.
I will not be blinded.
You screwed up and now nothing can change that.
but I know its wrong.
I can't go on like this.
You say yes
and I say no.
I can't be the strong one all the time.
I hurt inside.
I only want the fairy tale,
you know, the one that every girl wants.
I feel has if my whole life has been a dream,
A pitiful dream really.
I yearn to be the one you love.
Why can't it be I ask myself.
I try to do everything right.
but I always end up being the friend.
Always the one who gives advice.
Always the one who is alone.
watching it fall gently onto my face...
I start to wonder.
I start to wonder what things would have been like
if only you had stayed.
Would you still love me?
Would you still care?
I become numb
and immune to the cold rain
pouring onto my face.
Soon I start to realize that nothing matters anymore.
As I stand there, I start to cry.
I cry with a deep burning passion within myself.
You are never coming back I whisper to myself.
As I stand in the pouring rain,
watching it fall gently onto my face...
I start to wonder.
I wonder why I am standing here with no hope left.
I walk inside slowly,
shivering from the cold.
My moment in time now gone,
I move on.
I move on with what is soon to become a good life...
I am going to die on the twenty forth.
My death is coming,
it has been long awaited.
Now the end has come.
My life is over.
It has been good and now...
I am alone,
I am utterly alone.
My death is here...
Goodbye.
Why do you torment me so?
You make me want to be a better person
and yet I can't stand you.
You tell me you are going to die soon...
Please Don't Die...
then I will have to kill myself.
Don't die because I love you
Don't die because I care...
I never thought I would say this to anyone but
I love you, so don't die.
It's not fair to me...
you are not allowed to leave me like this...
so Don't Die.
the end has come.
Despair not my friend.
Til heavens wings greet you, I will wait.
If perhaps you turn the other way...
I will give up my eternal happiness to be with you.
I say dont despair for our love is deeper
then anyone can imagine.
I will see you again.
Maybe soon, Maybe a long time from now.
Our love is strong.
Do not let my sorrow and rage fill your heart too...
despair not in the end my friend.
