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Gianni gets revenge on a U of T student...
Nick had a good night...
Taylor treats himself to something other than toast...
JT "loungin'"...*RAW*
Dave's "friendly locals" come to their senses....
JT earning some tuition money...

Games Baby Yeeeah!!

Revenge of Yar's Revenge
Extreme Board-Dom
Space Blammo
Executive Basketball
Snowflake Game

The Daily Grind...

October 27th, 2000

Tribute to Aloro / For most of you, the following editorial will be extremely random, maybe even weird. But to the 009 boys, its the most appropriate thing since putting bread in the freezer. This article is a tribute to our good friends at Aloro Foods Inc. The company is based in Mississauga Ontario, and produce a very special product. These fine people are responsible for the single most incredibly delicious piece of low-budget food i have ever experienced. It is the 99 cent Aloro Pizza. These pizzas are a quality serving for one individual, weighing in at a respectible 227 grams or 8 ounces. Not only can you purchase one of these pizzas for 99 cents, but you also have the choice of buying two smaller pizzas, which also cost 99 cents and present an equal total weight (8 ounces). We at 009 have decided that the single pizza package is the better choice. Now, these pizzas come in four flavors: Pepperoni, Hawaiian, Vegetarian, and the almighty Three-Cheese Blend. Through much testing, we have determined the only two choices are the Pepperoni and the Three-Cheese Blend. Now, you may be thinking: "What the hell is so special about Aloro's?? I've been eating McPain Pizzas for years." That's where the realization starts. You see, Aloro's are so ahead of their class. They are of the cheap, microwaveable or oven toasted personal pizza class, which includes such heavy-hitters as McPain, Dullsbury, and Masturbation's Choice. Aloro steps into the field presenting the most cost-efficient pizza....but does it deliver quality eating?? Fuckin' right. At last count, our freezer contained about 23 Aloro Pizzas.(**let me remind you the rate of consumption of Aloro Pizzas is about 4.7 pizzas / day) As you can see, this Pizza is unbelieveable. We often make an Aloro Run about once a week, where we empty the shelves at our local supermarket off of Cock street, T & A. The only way to eat these pizzas is to toast them in a small toaster oven, at 432 degrees farenheit for approximately 8 minutes, 23 seconds. Then the glory that is Aloro flows into the room and you begin to see why they are the greatest things on earth. You may be thinking, "One pizza isn't enough to fill me up." That's where you're wrong. Even if you're REALLY hungry one day, like after you've been lost in the jungle or something, you MAY want to spring for a second glorious Aloro. Well, go ahead. Your total bill is only going to be $2. Once i had left over ground beef from tacos, so i sprinkled it on the Pepperoni Aloro and made a Meat Lover's Pizza. It was incredible. Future plans are for a Deluxe Aloro, Chicken Ceasar Aloro, and the Bacon Dream Aloro. Now you're probably thinking, anything THAT cheap has to be full of chemicals and cancer causing....again, wrong. The Aloro Box proudly sports a golden emblem in the lower right hand corner of the box reading: "NO MSG." Boy, these guys are great. The ingrediants are as follows:

Crust: Enriched Four, Water, Vegetable Oil, Yeast, Salt, Sodium Bicarbonate, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Sodium Stearoyl-2-Lactrylate, Calcium Propionate, Lecithin, Monoglycerides. Sauce: Tomato Paste, Water, Vegetable Oil, Modified Corn Starch, Salt, Sugar, Spice. Topping: Part Skim Mozzerella Cheese, Pepperoni (with Smoked Flavouring), Dried Parsley.

Now. How can you get much better than that? The first few ingrediants are REAL FOOD. Not Bullshit chemicals like the competitors. Granted the crust has a few chemicals, but thats only to maintain its fluffy texture. The lesson here is that you should go buy Aloro Pizzas NOW. GO. I mean it. You won't be disappointed. In fact, i'm going to go eat one now. Bye.-Versase

September 21st, 2000

Nick + Civil Kegger = Disaster / Last night, at around 12:30am our good buddy Nick came home from his "Civil" Kegger. The rest of us were upstairs when Nick came busting through the front door, tripping over himself and slamming into the staircase. We threw numerous objects at him, including an inflated beer can, however, unsuccessful in stopping his advances. He finally made it up the stairs, and tried to weasel his way into one of our rooms to avoid the 2nd staircase to his bed. We swiftly tackled him into the hallway; eliminating the possibility of Nicks puke contaminating our bedrooms. Versase proceeded to DRAG Nick's drunk ass up two flights of stairs into his loft bedroom, threw him onto the bed, and proceeded to kick his ass with the help of JT. Nick was sleeping during all of this - completely incoherent and fuckin' polluted. Atta boy, Nicky Boy, way to handle your liquor like a champ!!! Can't wait to see the results at homecoming!! -Versase, Dav, JT and MattGood

Quote of the day...

09/28/00"C'mon, you don't kiss me." -JT's response to a random kiss

09/25/00"Fuckin' house is minus 40 and stinks like fuckin' Esso."-Taylor's feelings on the state of our house.

09/24/00"Fuckin' right bitch."-Versase's response when he found out the cookies were for him too

09/24/00"Fucking mice and centipedes." -Taylor

09/21/00"Letter to Taylor Matthews from OSAP. You can call it OCRAP now." -JT

09/18/00 Taylor: "I gotta do my OSAP shit. JT: "I'm gonna take a dump."-Taylor

The Tips Corner

10/27/00 - This tip is comin' at ya from John Blaze. The general rule of thumb when it comes to the ladies goes something like this:

09/20/00 - If you ever manage to corner one of those fuckin' fast centipede motherfuckers, don't hesitate - beat the shit out of it with your trusty copy of the Whig Standard. Sonofabitch won't know what hit him. Fucker.

**In no way is this site based upon fact. It is a collection of fictional stories with absolutely no relevance whatsoever. All person(s) mentioned within this site are fictional and do not represent reality. This site does not intend to undermine the integrity or reputation of anyone. It's just a load of bullshit. All copyrights are the property of the original owner.