TITLE: You Don't Want To Know (1/1)
AUTHOR: Elizabeth (sef7881@aol.com) and Lostiawen (changeling@planetx.org)
PARING: Viggo Mortensen/Orlando Bloom
RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY: Why *did* Orli trash Viggo's trailer?
FEEDBACK: It's a giddy little thrill for a reasonable price.
In other words, yes please!
WARNINGS: Total PWP, tongue-in-cheek fic, kink
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction, none of this really happened.
The author is not associated with or is implying anything about the sexual
preferences or the lives of the people depicted within.
ARCHIVE: BTF, Of Elves and Men, Mirrormere, CIB, Random Insanity; anywhere
else please ask, but we'll surely say yes
AUTHORS' NOTES: This is what happens when smut bunnies get out
of control and need to be exorcised. We were chatting, and somehow
this fic got created during our chat session. Elizabeth was Orli,
Lostiawen was Viggo (and Elijah and Dom).
Except for corrections to grammar and logic, the dialogue and the action is pretty much verbatim. Lostiawen added a little bit of filler, but not much. All Orli-dialogue/actions are Elizabeth's, all Viggo-dialogue/actions are Lostiawen's
And we pulled out all the stops. We took the "kitchen-sink" approach and pretty much had these two do almost all of our favorite kinks. So if you wonder what's in our demented little minds, look no further.
****
Viggo glared as he backed out of his trailer. The smell of dead fish wafted over the lot before he slammed the door shut.
Dominic shook his head. "Damn, Viggo, you'll need to stay in someone else's trailer while they get you a new one."
Elijah said, "Guess it'll have to be Orli's. He's the only one who has spare room in his."
Viggo rolled his eyes, but inside, he was elated. He had been
wanting to get closer to Orlando, but he didn't want to be obvious about
it. He was hoping that asking Henry and Dom to fire the first shot
would provoke a suitable response, and he was
pleased that it did.
"I'll give him the bad news," Viggo said. He found Orlando wandering back from the canteen. "Orlando!"
"Hey, Vig!"
"I'm afraid my trailer's unusable. Do you mind if I stay in yours?"
"Sure! It's quite comfy, Vig. I have a lot of scented candles positioned around a very nice couch where you can snog me . . . er, I didn't say that."
Viggo grinned while Orli was blushing at his slip. He said quietly, "Well, if you don't mind, I'll just move my essentials in. Camera . . . sword . . . lube . . ."
He watched Orlando's face brighten as he mentioned the last item. "Oh, that's okay, I have my own lube," Orli added.
"Mine is scented, Orli."
"Oh, then feel free to bring it."
****
Unfortunately, after Viggo had moved his "essentials" in, they had to report to the set. They were in the midst of filming when one of the cameras started misbehaving.
Peter examined the damage and said, "All right, everyone, take a break until we can figure out what's wrong."
Viggo sidled up to Orlando and said, "We need to . . . review the script changes at length, elf boy. How about we retire to the trailer?"
Orlando said, "Sure," before he started walking back. He was careful to make sure that he was always in front, so that Viggo could have a clear view of his ass.
After they went inside, Orlando locked the door and snickered, "Hehe, you said 'length', Viggo."
Viggo glared at him. "Maybe I should spank that smart ass of yours to shut that mouth up?"
Orlando immediately bent over and exclaimed, "Oh, please don't hurt me, you big manly man."
Viggo snorted. He then noticed that Orli was waggling his ass and waiting expectantly. Shaking his head, he whacked Orli over the butt with the flat of Anduril's sheathed blade.
He was surprised and aroused to hear a throaty moan from Orlando. "More, you Scandanavian sex god. Give it to me 'til I can't walk."
Wanting to hear more, he dragged Orlando over to the couch. He
roughly yanked down Orlando's leggings and briefs, turned him over his
knee, and proceeded to spank him until he could feel the heat rise off
of both cheeks. Orlando wriggled and
mewled on his lap, pressing his erection against Viggo's leg.
Viggo felt himself getting incredibly aroused and he was stiff within seconds.
He stopped when his hand began to burn. Orlando moaned loudly, "Now fuck my little red arse."
Unable to resist, Viggo swiftly stripped the both of them.
"A ranger has to always be prepared," Viggo said smugly before he pulled some vanilla-scented lube out of his costume and slowly rubbed it over his cock. "How badly do you want this, elf boy?" he asked.
"I'll do whatever it takes to get you to ream my arse."
"How about a little show, first?"
Orli clapped his hands excitedly. "Oh please, Viggo! What do you want?"
Viggo tossed the lube over. "How about a little finger-fucking, first?"
Orli reclined on the comfy couch and spread his legs WIDE. After slicking up his fingers, he slid two in. "Oh Viggo, you feel *so* bloody good inside me."
Viggo stroked himself slowly. "Not enough, add another one, elf boy."
Complying, Orli added another finger. "God, Vig!" He then curled his fingers within him, hitting his prostate. He moaned shamelessly, "Fuck me hard, man."
Viggo grinned wolfishly. "Not yet, the old man needs some warming up." He lay back on the floor. "Give me a close up view."
Orli rolled off the couch, kneeled over Viggo's face and resumed finger-fucking himself. "Do whatever you want to me, Viggo. Make your little whore scream for it."
Driven into an erotic haze by Orli's demands, Viggo pulled Orli down closer and began running his tongue around his thrusting fingers.
Orlando moaned, "God, yes! More!"
Wanting to hear Orlando scream, Viggo tried to jab his tongue inside
of Orlando's entrance. Orlando immediately squealed and wriggled
on Viggo's face. Viggo continued to stab his tongue until Orli was
a complete wreck. While the slender body was still quivering, Viggo
shoved Orlando forward and impaled him on his cock.
Orlando screamed in pleasure as he was breached.
Viggo said roughly, "Ride me, elf boy, and don't touch yourself."
"Yes, Viggo." He began to ride Viggo relentlessly, thrashing on top of him. His cock bobbed up and down with with his frantic movements.
Underneath him, Viggo thrust into Orli as hard as he could. The boy was all heat and tightness, and was driving him quickly to climax. Panting, he stopped suddenly.
"Cunt! Why'd you stop?!" Orli said indignantly.
Replying, "Because I have a better idea," Viggo pulled Orli off of him and flipped Orlando onto his back, before he re-inserted his cock.
Orlando moaned and arched his back. "Much better!"
Viggo thrust a bit, until Orlando's eyes rolled into the back of his head and fluttered closed. He then lubed up a finger and worked it in while his cock was still inside Orlando's tight hole.
"God, you sweet bastard!" Orli howled.
A second finger joined the first and Viggo started thrusting them in and out. "Like that, you slut?"
"Yes! God, don't stop!" Orlando moaned.
Viggo curled his fingers and rubbed Orlando's prostate. He growled, "God, you're hot . . ."
"Fuck yeah! Harder! Give it to me harder, Vig!" Orlando shrieked.
Viggo panted, "Fuck . . ." He wouldn't last long at this rate. He pulled his fingers out and started slamming into Orli. "So tight . . ."
"That's it, fuck your slut!"
Viggo thrust into Orli so hard that they began to slide along the carpet. "That's it, scream for me," he said, listening as Orlando obliged on cue.
His slams began to get ragged. "Oh God..." He grabbed Orli's cock and started pumping it in time with his thrusts.
Orli screamed, "Yes!!!". Red trails appeared where he clawed at Viggo's back.
"Fuck!" Viggo said as he shuddered and came, digging his fingers into Orli's hips hard enough to leave marks. While his head was spinning, Orlando arched his hips and wailed, "Please, Vig!"
Viggo looked dazedly at him, but then he quickly pulled out and scooted down. He quickly inhaled Orli's dripping cock and sucked as hard as he could.
"VIGGO!!" Orli yelled as he came.
Viggo caught all of Orli's release eagerly in his mouth and crawled up the slender body. He grabbed Orlando's head and kissed him hard, pushing all of the salty fluid deep into his mouth.
"Mmmfffffff," Orlando said as he accepted the gift and swallowed.
Viggo breathing was heavy as he pulled Orlando close to snuggle. He grinned and said, "My, my we have a few perversions there, don't we?"
He felt Orlando kissing his neck. "Of course I do. You're surprised by this?"
"Nope. I figured if you were crazy enough to throw yourself out of an airplane, you'd be a wildcat in bed."
"Mmm, you're not so bad yourself, old man."
Viggo buried his nose in Orli's wig. "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for, prissy elf. I have *many* more things I want to do to you."
"Really? How long 'til you can get it up again and make good on that promise?"
Viggo sighed. Orlando grinned and rolled on top of him. "Need some help?"
"Oh? What did you have in mind?" Viggo asked as he arched his eyebrow.
Orlando licked his lips seductively. "Whatever you want, Vig."
"Hmmm, how about putting that sweet mouth to good use?"
"Yes sir, Master Chief."
Viggo grimaced. Orli grinned unrepentantly and slithered down Viggo's body.
"Keep that up, and I'll tell you to drop and give me fifty," Viggo said.
Orli affected ignorance and said, "Fifty what?"
"Push ups."
"Damn. No fun there"
"Hey, I'm the master chief. *I* administer the punishment."
Orli's voice dropped suddenly. "Do I need to be punished?"
"Hmmm...suck my cock for a bit, and we'll see."
He eagerly took Viggo's cock into his mouth and swirled it around the head, licking the slit.
Viggo moaned, "Oohh, that's good..." and bucked his hips a little bit, hardening under Orlando's ministrations. In response, Orli sucked harder, taking more of Viggo's cock in and gently scraping the underside with his teeth.
"Shit...ohhh..." Viggo moaned again before he started thrusting upward, completely erect now.
Orli deep-throated Viggo, rolling his balls around in his palm. Unable to control himself, Viggo started fucking Orli's mouth in earnest.
"Mmmm," he purred.
Orlando moaned and hummed around Viggo's cock, nudging a finger at his opening. He was bringing Viggo too close.
"Stop . . . bed. Now." Viggo gasped.
Regretfully, Orli pulled off of Viggo's cock and stood up. Viggo smacked him on the ass lightly and said, "Get onto the bed and lie down on your back."
Immediately, Orli scampered onto the spontaneously generated bed, pulled the sheets back and lay down with his legs spread wide.
Viggo snickered and rummaged about in Orli's closet for some ties. He pulled out the infamous mutant half-tie that would be the bane of future fans everywhere. "I can think of a better use for this one," he said.
"Now is no time to be teasing me about my fashion sense," Orli pouted.
"You forget who's in charge," Viggo said before he tied Orli up and blindfolded him.
Orli shivered. "That's right, I do. So teach me, Vig. Teach your little slut."
Viggo temporarily left the room, but came back quickly. "Oh yes. The first thing I want you to do is not to move, no matter what," he said before he inserted a lubed finger inside Orli.
Orli moaned and fought to control his body so he wouldn't buck. Viggo filled him with two more fingers and then tossed an ice cube on his stomach. Immediately, Orli squawked and bucked unintentionally.
"Not fair!" he cried out.
Viggo pulled his fingers out. "Who said anything about fair?"
"Viggo, *please* don't torture me."
"I thought that was the point," Viggo purred.
Orlando whimpered, "Please touch me, Vig."
"Hmmm . . ."
Orli shifted on the mattress. "I'll be good."
Viggo blew a puff of very hot air onto Orli's iced stomach, and grinned when he heard a moan. He started tracing his tongue over the iced area. Orli struggled futilely against his bonds, wanting to shove Viggo's head down to his cock.
Viggo laughed throatily. "Problem?" he asked as he dipped his tongue into the pool of ice water in Orli's navel.
"No, I'm fine," Orli said. He then muttered under his breath, "Bastard."
Viggo stopped and said, "What was that?"
"Nothing! I didn't say anything!"
Viggo frowned and pinched Orli's nipple hard. Orlando squealed, but Viggo kept pinching.
"Are you sure?" Viggo asked.
"Yes! Fuck, do whatever you want!"
"Ah, good," he purred. Viggo sat on Orli's chest and nudged his lips with his dripping cock. "Let's put that filthy mouth to better use, shall we? Open for me."
Orli eagerly opened his mouth and could only briefly savor the taste of precum, before Viggo fed Orli the rest of it. Orli allowed him to slide in, swallowing around Viggo's length.
"Mmm, good," Viggo moaned before he started fucking Orli's mouth. In response, Orli let out a surprised moan, then allowed his mouth to be fucked, managing to use his tongue along the underside of Viggo's cock.
Viggo pumped deep within Orli's hot mouth and murmured, "That's it, take it all . . ."
Orlando relaxed his throat to take Viggo's huge cock all the way in, loving that he was feeling like a whore.
Suddenly, Viggo pulled out and said, "You liked that, didn't you, slut?" He stuck two fingers back into Orli's ass. Orlando groaned and pushed his hips down, disappointed that Viggo didn't come in his mouth.
Viggo said, "Something you wanted? You'll have to beg for it." He eased another finger in.
"I wanted you to come in my mouth, Vig. I want to taste you," Orli gasped.
"How badly do you want it?" Viggo growled as he added more lube and eased a fourth finger in.
Orli yowled, "Please, Vig! God, just let me taste you!"
Viggo pulled his fingers out and growled, "Mmm, that's better, slut." He sat back on top of Orli's chest and nudged his mouth again.
"Take it all in," he commanded.
Orli promptly opened his mouth and inhaled Viggo's cock.
"God . . ." Viggo grunted, overwhelmed by the wet heat surrounding him. He braced his hands on headboard and started fucking Orli's mouth in earnest. Orlando moaned and pressed his tongue against the underside of Viggo's dick.
Viggo's breath hitched as he buried himself in Orli's mouth. "Oh yeah . . . keep doing that . . ."
Spurred on, Orli rubbed his tongue up and down Viggo's cock as he let his mouth get fucked. Viggo shuddered and moaned, "Fuck . . ." before he came in Orli's mouth, splashing the back of his throat. Orli groaned and swallowed greedily, loving the salty taste. A tiny bit spilled out and dribbled down his chin.
Viggo pulled out. "Such a hungry little mouth . . ." he panted. Seeing the teardrop of liquid, he bent down and licked it off before he kissed Orli. He heard Orli sigh into the kiss, and felt Orli's tongue sliding along his.
Viggo wrapped his tongue around Orli's, letting him taste himself. He then reached down and brushed his fingers on Orli's cock. Orli pushed his body forward, seeking more contact. Viggo laughed and lightly ran his fingers over the head, teasing him.
"Please," Orli whispered.
"Please what?"
"Please let me come."
Viggo's fingers continued to dance lightly over Orli's cock. "Tell me what you want," he demanded. He scooted down and re-inserted his four fingers before he slicked up Orli's cock with lube and started pumping.
"Yes . . . more," Orli moaned loudly.
Viggo curled his fingers to rub over Orli's prostate; his hand blurred as he sped up the pace on Orli's cock.
"Vig! God . . . please!" Orlando begged as he bucked and twisted his body against his restraints.
Viggo started twisting his hand along Orli's cock and flicking his thumb over the head. Orli moaned some more, pushing his cock into Viggo's fist.
"Come for me . . ." Viggo growled as he pumped Orli hard. His voice was enough to send Orli over the edge, and he came with an unintelligible scream, covering his stomach and Viggo's hand with hot liquid.
Viggo continued to milk Orli until he was completely spent. Bending down, he cleaned off Orli's stomach with his tongue before he slid up and nudged Orli's mouth with his coated fingers. Orlando opened his mouth and hungrily sucked on them, loving his own taste.
Viggo pulled off Orlando's blindfold and kissed him on the forehead. He then reached up and untied his arms.
"Mmm . . . thank you," Orli said before he flexed his arms. "Is playtime over?"
"Yeah. I bet Pete's wondering where we disappeared off to," Viggo said as he started untying Orli's legs. He noticed that one of the restraints had been pulled apart by Orlando's thrashing.
He smiled. "Looks like you destroyed your mutant half-tie."
Orli grinned. "Well, at least you'll stop bitching about it, then."
Viggo kissed him lightly. "Hmmm, maybe I should do this with all of your clothing."
Suddenly, the two of them heard someone pounding on the door.
"Damn," Orli said.
"Yeah." Viggo hopped off the bed and started putting his costume back on.
Orli jumped out, also, and put on his elf costume. Miraculously, his wig and his ears were undamaged.
"Are you guys doing stuff in there?" Elijah called through the door.
Orli muttered, "Damn." He then shouted, "Yeah, Viggo was ramming his big dick up my arse!"
He grinned as Viggo sputtered indignantly. Leaning closer, Orli whispered, "He won't believe me. Besides, I kind of like having everyone know that I'm your bitch."
Elijah shouted, "Eww! Thanks a lot, Orli, now get your elf ass out of there! Pete needs you."
"Sure thing, mate!"
Viggo smiled and kissed Orli again. "Then I'll have to mark you next time."
"See you later? Hopefully naked?" Orli asked Viggo.
Viggo nodded and said, "Keep in mind that I'm still an old man."
"Then I might have to amuse myself while you watch -- just for a sort of visual aid, you know."
"Mmm. Sounds good."
"Bring your biggest dildo and get ready for a show."
Viggo smiled wolfishly. "Be prepared to walk bow-legged, then. My biggest makes me look like I have a jellybean-sized dick."
Elijah yelled insistently, "Ooooorliiii . . ."
Ignoring him, Orli said, "I'm looking forward to it, Vig. But now, duty calls."
Playfully, Viggo slapped Orli's ass. "then be off with you. And try not to tip your boat over today."
Orli stuck his tongue out. "At least I look good when I'm wet."
Viggo looked down. "Damn, rubbed all my dirt off on you."
"Fuck! Costuming will kill me!"
Viggo smirked and opened the door.
"I look like a bloody filthy human now," Orli said.
"Welcome to the club," Viggo replied.
Elijah looked at Orli with big, round eyes. "Why the fuck are you dirty?"
Orli replied, "Honestly? You don't want to know."
