“Lorne, where’s Jimmy’s office?” Sir Ian McKellen inquired as he glanced at the script for Weekend Update.
“It’s down the hall and on your left,” Lorne Michaels informed him. “What do you need?”
“Well, it’s about this kiss I’m supposed to give him.”
“You’re okay with that, right?”
“Of course, I just want to make sure that he’s fine with it.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Lorne said with a cryptic smile.
Ian nodded and continued down the hall, stopping outside Jimmy’s office. He knocked on the door and entered. “Jimmy, do you have a minute?”
“Of course,” Jimmy said, clearing some junk off of his couch. “What do you need?”
Closing the door, Ian sat down and smiled. “The kiss. Are you okay with that?”
“Sure,” Jimmy said with a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, it’s a gay kiss on national television. Even though it’s mocked up to make it look like you’re not expecting it and not participating, we have to rehearse, and you still have to eventually be kissed by another man.”
“And?” Jimmy’s grin was infectious, and Ian had to smile. “Look, Ian, it really doesn’t bother me. I mean, it’s my first gay kiss onscreen, but it’s not like I don’t have some real-life experience.”
Ian just blinked. “You mean you’re gay?”
“Bisexual.” Jimmy shrugged. “I figure if you make any kind of connection with a person, it shouldn’t matter what their gender is.”
“You’re wise beyond your years,” Ian joked.
“It’s a philosophy that works for me.”
“So why are you closeted?”
“Well, I don’t think my very Catholic parents would be thrilled. Plus, I’m being packaged right now as this cute cover boy, and being bi would confuse the issue. If I found a guy who I’d want to spend my life with, maybe I’d come out as bi, but that hasn’t happened yet.” Jimmy smiled. “I think this kiss is as close to coming out as I’m ready for right now.”
“Understood. Well, do you think we should rehearse it?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Ian and Jimmy ran through their lines, but the first two times, Jimmy dissolved in giggles before they could get to the kiss. Finally, the younger man kept his laughter in check, and Ian got to the cue line.
“A kiss for luck, little Jimmy Fallon?” Ian recited.
Jimmy leaned in and feigned shock as Ian kissed him full on the lips, according to the script. When they pulled apart, Jimmy grinned again. “I think this is gonna be great.”
Ian nodded. “Should we rehearse a few more times?”
Jimmy laughed. “Okay.”
They practiced it for a few more minutes, until they felt it was perfect. As Ian left Jimmy’s office, he couldn’t help but notice the way his lips felt aflame. Even as a passive kisser, Jimmy was excellent, he noted in the back of his mind.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
As Saturday night rolled around, Jimmy wove his way through the labyrinthine halls of the studio until he reached the host’s dressing room. “Ian?” he called as he knocked on the door.
“Yes?”
Jimmy walked into the room, and gave Ian a smile. “How are you? Just a half hour to go until the show starts. You doing okay?”
“Very nicely. They gave me fresh kiwis in the fruit basket.”
Jimmy laughed. “Nice. You psyched for the kiss?”
“Psyched?” Ian asked, bemused. “I guess so. But I am a bit nervous about the show.”
“Oh really?” Jimmy stepped closer to Ian and looked into the older man’s smiling eyes. “Anything I can do?”
“Kiss for luck, little Jimmy Fallon?” Ian asked, reciting his line.
“Of course.”
This time, they deviated from the script as Jimmy initiated a kiss, his tongue sweeping across Ian’s mouth until it opened. For a long while, the esteemed actor and the young comedian stood in a deep kiss, until a knock at the door forced them to jump apart.
“Come in,” Ian called, regaining his faculties.
“Jimmy?” Lorne asked as he entered the room. “What are you doing here?”
“Um, rehearsing.”
Lorne laughed. “Out. Now.”
As Jimmy made a hasty exit, Lorne looked at Ian and smiled. “He’s unstoppable.”
“I’m guessing I’m not the first host he’s kissed,” Ian surmised.
“Correct. But as long as it’s behind closed doors, I don’t
care. After all, this is a pretty weird place sometimes; homosexuality
is the least of my concerns. Now, I just came to wish you good luck.”
“Thank you, Lorne.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The audience screamed in shock and hilarity as Ian planted a full kiss on Jimmy’s lips, one more passionate than their rehearsal kisses, but nowhere near what they had done on their own time a few minutes earlier.
Jimmy did a brilliant job of faking shock and put in some great ad-libs.
“Does this mean I’m knighted?” he asked. Ian laughed as he walked offstage. “Or did I just get queened?”
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
As the show ended and everyone walked around the studio, Jimmy pulled Ian aside. “It got the response everyone wanted.”
“It certainly did,” Ian agreed. “One last kiss?” He sounded like a child asking permission for an extra piece of candy.
Jimmy nodded and gave Ian a quick but thorough kiss.
“It’s been fun,” Jimmy said with a grin. And with that, he disappeared
into his office.
