Let's fast forward to a few years later
No one knows except the both of us
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
– Alanis Morissette
None of it was supposed to happen.
Elijah wasn't even supposed to like Viggo. He had gotten along well with Stuart, and felt bad when he was let go. Even though he knew it wasn't Viggo's fault, he felt as if the new Aragorn was an interloper, like an unwanted wicked stepmother. Of course, Viggo was none of those things. He was warm, and funny, and utterly brilliant, and Elijah couldn't find one good reason not to like him.
Elijah wasn't supposed to fall in love with Viggo, either. He'd been on enough sets to know that you didn't get involved with your co-stars. But once again, he couldn't help himself. It wasn't just the physical traits that excited Elijah, it was the enthusiasm that shone in Viggo's eyes when he shared his poetry, or his great sense of humor, hidden away except to those he felt comfortable around.
And Elijah wasn't supposed to tell Viggo any of this. But he did. Because, as he realizes now, he'd never been in love before, and had never had his heart broken either, so he didn't comprehend the complications that love presents.
"I think I like you," he said point-blank one day. Immediately, his hand flew to his mouth, as if trying to stuff the statement back in. At least, he thought, he hadn't said he was in love.
Viggo just looked up with a slow smile. "Is that so?" How he sound so casual during the most important discussions is something Elijah would never understand.
"Yes."
"Not another hobbit? Or an elf, perhaps?"
"No." Elijah seemed almost offended at the suggestion that he could like someone who *wasn't* Viggo.
"Just surprised you'd like me. That's all." At Elijah's blush, he smiled. "Surprised, but not upset."
"Not upset?"
"Definitely not upset." Viggo's lips meet his in a gentle kiss, and Elijah had to clench his fists to prevent his hands from grabbing the back of Viggo's head.
"Viggo . . ." Elijah's voice was strained and breathy as the kiss ended.
"Elijah, you know this can't last beyond filming."
And Elijah's world crumpled. Yes, he knew, but he was praying Viggo wouldn't say the words, because hearing them made them seem so real. "Yeah," was all he could say.
"You have such an incredible career ahead of you, and that would just vanish if the tabloids got wind of this."
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't an actor."
"But then we wouldn't have met." Viggo was smiling again. "And we still have eight months until filming ends." And he kissed Elijah again.
Elijah couldn't tell anybody. Viggo never made him feel like they were some shameful secret, but Elijah felt as if what they had was so precious, meant only for the two of them for the time they had allowed themselves, that it was their own world. And nobody knew anything, not even Sean, Elijah's faithful keeper.
Elijah couldn't tell Viggo that he was in love, either. He wanted to, desperately, but he never could get the courage. Deep down, he knew that Viggo didn't feel the same way. Of course Viggo cared for him, and loved him, but he wasn't *in* love with him, and that made all the difference.
There was no dramatic build-up to the ending, just Elijah and Viggo flying back to Los Angeles together after shooting ended. Henry and Exene met Viggo at the gate, while Hannah threw herself at her younger brother. Viggo smiled at Elijah, gave him a warm hug, and said, "I'll see you soon."
They saw each other often. They had lunch together, would take Henry to Dodger games together, but the sparks were completely gone. It was as if nothing had happened between them. Elijah contemplated just breaking off contact with Viggo. Maybe that would have been easier. But it wasn't really an option. After all, they both had to go to Cannes, and premieres, and awards shows. Aragorn had sworn to protect Frodo, but Elijah felt like asking Viggo, "can you protect me from yourself?"
It was after the gallery opening that it came out. It was all because of that stupid tongue thing Viggo did with Dom, and Elijah felt a stab of jealousy twist deep within him. Of course, there was nothing between the two of them; Dom worshiped Viggo as much as everyone else did, but nothing would ever come of it.
Later that night, Elijah found himself at Viggo's house, watching the older man paint. He wasn't sure why he had agreed to go with Viggo, and even less sure why Viggo had asked. As Viggo added bright blue to the canvas, he turned around and gave Elijah a blinding grin. "It looks like the color of your eyes."
And Elijah couldn't take anymore. "I was in love with you, you know."
Viggo froze and the grin vanished. "No. I didn't."
"Well, I was. And I still am."
Setting down the paint, Viggo walked over to the battered couch and sat down next to his former lover. "Elijah," he said slowly, and Elijah knew what was coming.
"I know you don't feel the same way," he said bitterly. "I'm not asking you to. I just thought you should know how I feel about you." At Viggo's long sigh, Elijah stood up and glared at him. "I don't want your pity."
"Listen, Elijah, I wish I felt the same way. Believe me, I *wish* you didn't have to hurt on my account."
"But that's the way life is, isn't it?"
"Sometimes." Again, Elijah was amazed at how calm Viggo could sound.
"Why can't you feel the same way?" Elijah's bitterness was gone, replaced by desperation. "Is it the age thing? My career? I don't give a shit about that stuff, Viggo."
Viggo stood and put his hands on either side of Elijah's face, sticky paint branding his fingerprints on Elijah's cheeks. "I'll always love you, Elijah, but I can't allow myself to fall in love. I'm sorry, I know it's selfish, but I don't want to get hurt."
"It is selfish. You'd rather have me get hurt."
"It's not like that."
"I would never hurt you, Viggo."
"What if I hurt you? What if you ended up hating me? I couldn't live with that."
"You already have hurt me, and I don't hate you. I could never hate you. If you really loved me –"
"Elijah, stop." There's firmness in Viggo's tone now. "It just can't be. You have to accept that."
There was a long silence, and Elijah just gazed up at Viggo. He always felt so small in comparison to him, but never more so than now. "We can still be friends?" he asked, his voice faltering.
"Of course."
"Then, that's it. It's over."
"It's for the best. You won't stay in love with me forever, you know."
'Yes, I will,' Elijah thought, but he just nodded. "Okay. Well, I'll see you later."
Viggo hugged Elijah. "I never meant to hurt you," he said fiercely, and Elijah knew he was telling the truth, but that didn't kill the pain.
"I never meant to fall in love with you," Elijah responded. He gently pulled away from the embrace, and grabbed his jacket. "Don't stay up too late," he said with a weak smile.
"I'm done for the night."
The last thing Elijah sees as he walks out the door is Viggo running his paint-smeared hands under the faucet. Washing his hands clean of the paint.
Washing his hands clean of Elijah.
