You expect them to be kindly, cute, and never evil, right?
Here's a shocker...
THEY'RE BENT OVER TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION.
Here's the proof.
This is Elijah J. Wood. Elijah Wood, 23, is known for his excellent role in Lord of the Rings as Frodo Baggins. As you can see, he looks like a normal young actor. But behing that "I'm trying to look innocent" look...HE IS A TOOL IN THE EVIL PENGUINS' PLANS!!!
Here is an exerpt from a upcoming role of his.*
"Feet," a CGI-animated project with musical elements, revolves around Mumble, a young penguin (voiced by Elijah Wood) and his adventures in Antarctica."
"Yeah, right," you say. But this presentation is not yet over.
Ok, you know this charming actor. Billy Boyd, 35, is the hot Scot who plays Pippin Took in Lord of the Rings. Sure, he looks absolutely not part of any evil penguin scandals, but he played a hidden part of the Antarctic Dictators affair. Others, like Froda, the Dom-inatrix, say that he was confuzzled and hypnotized.
It gave me nightmares for weeks, too.
Then, there is one last person in the plot, though people believe he was deceived by these wicked penguins.
Dominic Monaghan, 27, who plays Merry Brandybuck in Lord of the Rings, is one who verbally declared his affiliation with the penguinous plots of domination.
We have Jeannie Teller, of NFMIFT (Non Fictional Men In Fictional Tales), to ask of Dominic about his affiliation of penguins...undercover...*
JT: So, I heard about you and Billy, writing some kind of screenplay. What is it about exactly?
DM: It's about two men from Great Britain opening up scuba diving lessons. They get in all sorts of trouble.
JT: Mhm, so, what do you think about it?
DM: Billy likes it.
JT: I was asking about you.
DM: [laughs] Well, I for one think it's funnier than a penguin playing a banjo.
See! See! I told you! I knew! See!
There has been told of an electricpenguin.com (Froda) and of a Scottish penguin-friend (HG).
If you see a short, chubby, and flightless bird in a tuxedo at your doorstep, asking for ice, burn the house down and attempt suicide.
Thank you for listening.
NOW GO BUILD A FALL OUT SHELTER!
For more information, view Froda's penguin website.
*Elijah may sing in this movie. Prepare for uncontrollable laughter.
*Jeannine K. Teller is not affiliated with any pro- or anti-penguin activities.
