The amazing phenomenom known as "bast".

 

         For many years, the underground worldwide subculture known as "Basts" has been in effect, and is still around today.  Though they have reached a zenith in the late 80s and/or early 90s, the Bast Movement is still alive and well today, and is coming back with a vengenace.  Wherever you go, you are very likely to see a bast.  Whether it be site-seeing, shopping, travel, or commuting, basts will be there.  How do you know if you have spotted a bast?  Well, there are a few things to consider when identifying a bast. 

 

 

Some prime examples of Basts.

       The first and most  crucial item needed in identifying a bast is the trademark Bast Glasses.™  These bast glasses are large, clunky, and usually have a bar going across the two lenses.  This is probably the most important item to being a true bast.  As long as you have this item, you are a bast.  Whether you be a rich famous celebrity, or a dumb guy with a dumb face, having bast glasses unconditionally makes you bast.  However, there are some basts who don't need glasses.  They have everything but the glasses, and are reffered to as "glassless-basts."

      This item of apparel can make someone go from 0 to bast in just a few swift motions.  That's right.  The bastjacket.  This jacket is a multi-colored athletic nylon jacket.  Basts are known to express their Bastful Pride through their bright neon colored and triangle patch nylon jackets.  These jackets are ALWAYS a flourescent, neon color, with random colors everywhere, in a tacky, mismatching manner.  A true Bast Warrior will be seen wearing the Bast Jacket along with matching pants.  But some Basts may lose these pants on their long journey to true bastdom.  Which is why basts are seen wearing a dirty pair of pants. They are usually khakis or sweatpants, but some basts have been known to be wearing jeans, for a new bast fashion. 

 

 The bast jacket in its full glory.

       Under the jacket is usually a t-shirt or a collared shirt.  This item often represents some type of sports teams that is not of high popularity, or is a T-shirt of a non-clothing company. 

 

      Bast Historians have just recently discovered a new item.  This item is very often found on the bast's head, and is magnificent.  It is the cheap sports team baseball cap.  Things to look out for on these hats is the recognizable flat, untainted bill, usually green underneath, the classic plastic snap in the back, the front of the cap stiff and propped up, and the hat worn straight, not quite down to the eyebrows.  These hats are usually cotton, but may be mesh as well.  Now, as said earlier, these hats usually represent some sort of poor sports team or figure.  It may be a basketball team that hasn't done very well in a while, such as the Hornets or the Bulls, or a Nascar hat, which no one seems to care about anymore. 

 

Note the Larry Bird apparel.   Larry Bird has been retired for quite some time, and people seem to have forgotten about him, but not this bast here!

            Basts usually have some sort of accesory with them.  A popular accesory for basts is the fanny packs.  It is unknown to this day what basts carry in their fanny packs, but one day, we will know. 

Left: This bast is gettin' down to business.  Right: A bast jammin' in the backyard.  He is wearing a Texaco hat, and a CompUSA shirt.

            Aside from their apparel, Basts have also been known to have a mustache, long dirty hair, hairy bodies, and weathered down hands which have the appearance of hard labor(dry crusty skin on the knuckles and around the fingernails).  The shaggy mustache and long dirty hair must be in conjunction with the bast glasses.  It is a nice accent to the bast look.

Basts can be young or old.  Here we see 2 basts happily frolicking.

            Basts, just like any other member of society, have to drive at some point or another.  A good majority of basts show favoritism towards 3 cylinder cars, such as Geo Metros, and Ford Aspires.  If you see one of these automobiles on the road, use your every effort to look inside the driver's seat.  If you see a bast, you are one lucky person. 

This bast proudly stands by his 1992 Geo Metro Sedan.

            What exactly do basts do?  Basts do everything!  They have been known to have careers ranging from bread truck drivers, to adult film stars, to nascar enthusiasts.  The basts have become very successful in their prime years.  Basts seem to enjoy Nascar very much, as well as bowling.  Go basts!

 

Left-Wearing diapers is enjoyed by some basts.  Right-A child experiences the joy of being a bast equipped with the glasses and the jacket.

 

            Are there bast that are females?  Absolutely!  The bast females characteristics are very similar to those of a bast male, with a slight feminine touch to them.

Left-A bast couple.  Opposite-2 Asian basts.

            Basts are an intriguingly wonderful species, and are slowly becoming extinct as we progress through the new millenium.  We must not lose sight of these basts, for they are interesting creatures.

            There have been a few products that have been made as a tribute to the bast species.

StarBast.  A very popular computer game.

 .

The bast book series, which sold 200 copies during its first year, the Best of Bast CD collection,Bast the racer, the Sterling Silver Bast Pendant, and Bast Magazine, which is enjoyed by bast musicians.

 

            There have been many misconceptions about the word bast.  Some people think that the word "Bast" is reffering to the ancient cat goddess, or the fibre that is found in plants.  These beliefs are wrong. 

 

-Jung Woo 5/3/03

Jung has been writing on the subject of the Bast phenomenon for over 11 years and are best known for their award winning books, "Bast World","Bast Escapes", "Bast upon a time" and "Bast Nation".