A man loses his eye in an accident. Very self-conscious about his appearance, he feels that no girl will date him looking as he does. So he goes to an artificial eye specialist for a consultation. The Doctor says, "Well sir, no need to walk around feeling self-conscious. With one of these fine glass eyes, no one will ever guess your sporting anything other than the genuine article." "How much?" the man asks. "A bargain at just $2,000." says the doctor. The man's mouth falls open. "Oh, doc! I could never afford that!" The doc says, "Well all right then, we'll fit you with one of these fine plastic eyes. Have to get pretty close to see one of these isn't real!" "How much?" the man asks. "Just $500 and a bargain at twice the price," says the doctor. The man looks very sad and says, "I can't afford that one either." "How much do you have?" asks the doctor? "Only fifty bucks," says the man. The doctor frowns. "Well the best I can do for you at that price is to whittle you a wooden eye. I can't guarantee a color match and people might know at a glance that it isn't real." "I'll take it!" says the man, convinced that anything is better than no eye at all. A week later, he returns to the doctor who installs the eye and sends him on his way. The man goes home and looks in the mirror. He notices that his good eye is blue and the wooden eye is green, and it looks a bit to the side and has a kind of wild stare to it. But he's happy and feels more confident about himself. That night he decides to give his new eye a test run. He goes to a dance hall and starts looking for a suitable woman to ask for a dance. He sees one very attractive lady but loses his courage before he can even stand up. He sees another quite acceptable young lady but chickens out half way across the dance floor. Finally he sees a rather homely lady with a hump on her back. He says to him, "Surely she wouldn't turn me down." He walks over to her and says, "Excuse me. Would you like to dance?" The lady says excitedly, "Would I?" The man shoots back, "Hump back! Hump back!"
