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State of California Being Sued


The S.I.H.T.A.R.B.T.I.N.G., today, has filed a lawsuit against the state of California for a failure to comply with the First Amendment law of separation of church and state. Very disappointing, since California is usually the most liberal, new-age, atheist state in America. However, California, like all states (liberal or not) must comply to the secular, atheistic interpretation of the Constitution. "What is the problem?" one might ask.
Well, to be frank, the problem is that the nomenclature of approximately 40 cities in California are offensive, oppressive, and biased... in short, they're Christian. The names of dozens of cities in California have been oppressing well-meaning atheists for centuries.

Resident of Los Angeles (meaning "the Angels" in Spanish), Barbara Gonzales, stated, "Every time I drive through the city, its name oppresses me. It's high time we change the names of these cities to something secular, liberal, and atheistic!"
Which CA city names are oppressive? The following Californian cities have oppressive names: Angels, Bishop, Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Andreas, San Anselmo, San Antonio, San Bernardino, San Bruno, San Carlos, San Diego, San Fernando, San Francisco, San Gabriel, San Jacinto, San Joaquinm, San Jose, San Juanbautista, San Juancapistrano, San Leandro, San Lorenzo, San Luisobispo, San Marcos, San Marino, San Martin, San Mateo, San Miguel, San Pablo, San Rafael, San Ramon, Santa Barbara, Santa Clara, Santa Clarita, Santa Cruz, Santa Fe, Santa Maria, Santa Monica, Santa Paula, Santa Rosa, and Santa Venetia.
Sacramento is Spanish for sacrament, a Roman Catholic rite which imparts "God"'s grace; San and Santa are Spanish for "saint," meaning more than 30 Californian cities are named after atheist-burning, bible-thumping, intolerant bigots.

"We hate all bigots!" said Attorney Harry Pitts, Ph.D., the lawyer assigned to the case. "Just between you and I, we could care less what the cities were named. We just wanna irk the bible-thumpers!"

When asked what they intended to rename the cities, should they win, Pitts, Ph.D., exclaimed, "Yes! Yes! We've been looking at giving them all liberal names. Los Angeles would be renamed Los Liberales. San Fransisco would be renamed La Ciudad de Los Homosexuales (for obvious reasons). And instead of naming Sacramento after 'sacrament,' we're changing the name to reflect true American heritage. We're renaming Sacramento, Demócrata! Don't quote me on that, please."
The case, "S.I.H.T.A.R.B.T.I.N.G. v. the State of California," is being held on the 24th by the ninth circuit supreme court.


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