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Submission Guidelines

First I want to thank all the people who have submitted articles! Keep them coming, I'm still looking for writers and haven't decided on or ruled out anyone yet! If you've sent something and you haven't heard back from me be patient, right now I'm getting things together and trying to organize. You will hear from me by the end of August as to whether or not you're accepted as a staff writer for the site.

I realize now though that when I said that I was taking submissions I should have given a few guidelines first. My bad yo. Here are some things you should go by when submitting an article

• Anyone submitting should be over 18 or so close to it that by the time they actually become a staff writer they will be.
• Anything submitted should be A) humorous B) Informative C) Review D) Rant E) Any combination of the above.
• It should be submitted via email in a normal font (Times, Ariel, Courier) using a color that won't blind me after two sentences (black please).
• Stop IMing me. You scare me. Use email. It should be completely edited. I don't have time to correct a 1000 word articlet for gramatical and/or spelling errors. I rarely do that for my own posts...
• It must be coherent... it might have been fun for you to write that while you were dropping peyote but dude, I don't have access to those types of drugs so therefor I won't understand it.
• While I hate censorship and all things associated with it, submissions can not contain anything that defames any minority, me, or group of people I'm associated with. haha. Liberties in the name of humor can be taken (I call people fags and dykes on a regular basis but anything that's actually anti-homosexual will piss me off worse than a hottie fag flirting with me) but serious hate rants will not only not go up, I won't even read them and who ever sent it will automatically go on my list of "people who suck."
• For gods sake write your own shit. So far I've gotten two submissions that were taken directly from other websites and one that was stolen from a magazine. Oh I may be a chick yo but I do frequent the same sites you do and as sad as it is I have a subscription to both Stuff and Maxim. What does the Honor Code say boys and girls? Plagerism BAD! Originality GOOD!
• Length doesn't really matter but know that if you submit a 4000 word essay on why gulf war economics will bring the US to her knees that is serious... I'm won't be reading it.
• Um, girls can submit too. I did say that girls were a bit unfunny and boring to read and I was looking for mainly male writers but I have since been reprimanded and told that I'm no true feminist. I'm holding females back. I'm an Uncle Tom to the weaker (but equal) sex. I'm doing nothing but holding up that glass ceiling. So I stand corrected, what I meant to say was; MOST chicks suck. And you, my dear, can suck my vulva. Go talk to Cosmo, Redbook, Glamour, YM, Seventeen and all the other chick media about stereotypes and feminism, not me.... and I'm going to write a rant about this shit soon you wait and see. So if you're a chick, you're funny, and you write well feel free to submit. I in no way meant that girls were not allowed to be staff. Jesus christ yo, I'M A CHICK!
• Last but not least... in the name of all that is holy put something in the subject line that says "For the website yo" or "A staff writer submission" or "Goddamnit, Tia, you should read this." If there's nothing in the subject line and I'm not familiar with the email address I think it's A) porn B) my mother trying to trick me into talking to her C) some jackass who saw my profile and wants my a/s/l and can't figure out how that darned IM thing works.