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Casual Rant

Getting a Girl
Lonely guy, looking for a woman to spend you life with? Well, my friend, you have come to the right place! I have extensive experience and knowledge in all fields concerning females. So far, I have had 0 girlfriends and one heartbreaking rejection. So strap yourself in for the full tour. In this rant, I will discuss the art of attracting a female. The most important thing you absolutely MUST remember is that no girl likes to be told, point blank, how you really feel about her. Make some pointless comment up, like "God, you're beautiful." Don't mention qualities that matter. Mention the quality that a person has the least control over. You should also avoid falling into the trap I fell into at all costs. I was convinced that if I acted around a girl in such a way that she knew that I thought the world about her without ever actually saying those exact words to her, she would love me all the more for it. Haha! Tell her you love her, even if it isn't true. It gets you alot farther. Keep in mind, I have consulted female sources on this one. Tell her she is "gorgeous" and you get in her pants every time. Guaranteed. I mean completely ignore the fact that she means the world to you, don't mention that she makes every day worth living. Hell, don't even tell her you admire her spirit. You like her boobs, then you get to see them. Simple. Why didn't someone think of this before? Perhaps they did, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. I know, I know, you're going to tell me that you don't love the girl in that way. Sure, you are going to say that you really like the person she is. I know this is probably true, but trust me, but she doesn't want to hear that! She wants to have some fun, just as much as guys are -supposed- to want. Also, it is important to remember that you don't want to just tell her one random day that you love her. What is the challenge in that? The female wants to be tested, they want to feel like they have earned your love. Just handing it to them is the worst idea out there. Do you want to spend every waking minute with your family? No, because you didn't have to earn their love. It was given to you, and so naturally you don't want it. Even if you have been supressing feelings for years, do no get frustrated and then just lay it all on her at once. Because the female does not want a serious, deep relationship with a guy, she does not want a boyfriend that actually cares about her. She wants someone who makes her laugh for a few hours. This works in your favor too, cause when she goes home and is away from you those superficial happy feelings fade quickly. This makes her want to see you more and more. Its such a simple formula. And, as far as I can tell, it works. As long as you don't actually love the girls you date, you'll never be alone again.
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Some informal complaints that I decided to write down.

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Created 6-5-02 10:43 PM
Updated 6-13-02 11:07 PM
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