Our Mystery is our misery

Pain is our only constant friend

Pills are our appetizers

As we wonder when it will end?

Doctors constant companions

Tests our endless chore

Worry, wonder, questions

Can my body take anymore?

Frustrated and tired

Exhausted beyond belief

Sleep is our only haven

Prayers to deal with grief

But you look so healthy

Our constant cheer

When will it attack?

Our greatest fear

Who will care for my family?

Who will care for my friends?

Who will remember me

When my time here ends?

We pray for a cure

As we lose those we love

We stand by helpless

And pray to above

We know one day

We will finally find

The reason , the answer,

And ease our mind

But for now we cope

with this that groups us

A select few effected

By the thing called Lupus

  I hope you like it, it is how I feel sometimes when I get so frustrated... I am sure that you can relate as well...



Selena

Janice & Salena









..........i..........



I had the honor of meeting Diane at the reunion in Myrtle Beach that Beth and her husband Keith hosted. I have pictures that I will always have to remember her by. This is truly a sad day. I just don't understand any of this. My condolences to her family and prayers to all.

Mary T.

Mary T., Janice, Beth, Diane & Frank at the pig picking









THINKING ABOUT DIANE



When I think of Diane, I remember her caring and kindness, her sweet soft spoken words, her joy of life and her beautiful smile. When we were in Myrtle Beach she wanted to do everything, experience everything. She is in my heart and I think of her often. I can see her now, as her son described her, dancing with angels on the clouds. Diane, I miss you my lupie sister and friend. Love, Janice from N.C.

     When somebody dies



When somebody dies, a cloud turns into an angel, and flies up to tell God to put another flower on a pillow.

    A bird gives the message back to the world, and sings a silent prayer that makes the rain cry.

People dis-appear, but they never really go away. The spirits up there put the sun to bed, wake up grass, and spin the earth in dizzy circles.

Sometimes you can see them dancing in a cloud during the day-time, when they're supposed to be sleeping. They paint the rain-bows and also the sunsets and make waves splash and tug at the tide.

    They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes. And when they sing wind-songs, they whisper to us, don't miss me too much. The view is nice and I'm doing just fine.

- Ashley

Janice, Beth & Diane with the Lupie Beanie Bear















JENNIFER'S THOUGHTS



I only had the oportunity of meeting Diane once. But, I liked her from the start. Beth had invited me to the Lupus Quilt Show in S.C. at the first of this year. I could tell that she had battled hard from Lupus. We talked a little while at the show, and unfortunately, I couldn't stay later since I had difficulty driving at night with my current prescription glasses. Between that time and Diane's death, she sent me lots of emails, mainly just to ask how I was or sending something in hopes of giving me faith. I wanted desperately to go to the hospital when Diane was admitted, but things didn't pan out that week. I called several times at the hospital, but only once did I get a person close enough to answer a few questions on her condition.

Somehow, I felt things would be okay. When the bad news came that she didn't make it, I was in shock. I had emailed with Lynn, Diane's sister. I decided that I WAS going to that funeral and that Beth was going to make it to say her good-byes to her friend. My husband, Jerry, offered to pay for everything so that we could go. So, off i went to SC to pick-up Beth and then we went to Winston-Salem. Beth and I talked the whole way, or should I say that I jabbered the whole way, lol!

This may not make sense to some, since I had only met Diane one time, but it was as if she and I had been friends for a long time. I felt the pain of her passing as if I had known her all my life. She made such a good impression on me. When Beth and I were standing by the grave, I had a really eerie feeling and could almost see Diane standing there looking at me and Beth and the others that had come to pay there condolences. I didn't mention this to Beth, but I could almost see Diane reaching her arms around Beth at one point in a last attempt to tell her farewell. She seemed to be hovering at the casket when we walked up.

I looked over my shoulder when we were leaving, and only saw the earthly beings and things, no Diane. But, I really feel that she was there in spirit and felt that she was happier than she had been in quite sometime. I know she is our everlasting angel and will be watching over us.

To Lynn, I want you to come to the next quilt show, because I would love to hear you sing your tribute to Diane like you had wanted. God Bless you all!

Love,

Jennifer

Jennifer sitting at our Lupus Information Table







Jennifer's little girl wrote this poem while we were gone on our trip to come to Diane's funeral. She wanted me to give this to you.

"My Angel"

by Britney Taylor



There's an Angel ringing my doorbell,

there's an Angel at my door;

and she called out to the lord,

she called his name, she listened to his voice,

and he relieved all her pain.

Oh, I remember, can I remember....

there's an Angel knocking on my door,

Well, she looked into my eyes, said I need to realize,

the Lord has come for me.















AN AFTERNOON WITH THE THREE STOOGES



  Before February 26th, Diane was just another name on the internet. A friend, but not a friend you could touch and talk to face to face. That all changed when we arrived in Myrtle Beach for the Horry County Quilt Show. Beth named us the three stooges, Diane, Frank and me. I can't imagine why. We were just sitting there manning the lupus table. We didn't do anything to get thrown out, so we must have been behaving. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  Diane was having a difficult day with anything liquid and gravity. She spilled everything she was trying to drink. It would have been bad enough to spill these things, but she found a really special way to make a mess. She spilled them onto the table full of brochures, hand outs and photos. Not once, but three times, with three different drinks. The last time when the Pepsi covered everything, I took the can away from her and rationed it. Small amounts only; enough to drink, but not make too much of a mess if she dropped it. I told her that that was the reason I drank only water. It makes far less mess when you have to clean it up and I too cleaned up a lot of dropped glasses. This is where our friend Frank re-enters the picture. I had placed Diane's can of Pepsi on the floor next to the table leg so it wouldn't get knocked over again. Another big mistake. Frank's foot worked like Diane's hand, it didn't. I'm afraid that is what really started all the silliness that day. I kept telling everyone that Frank was kicking Diane's can all over the floor and that wasn't very nice of him. Not very gentlemanly at all. I can't remember specifically anything else that was said,you know how these lupie brains sometimes won't work, but we sure did have a great time that day.  

When we got to the pig picking Beth started handing out door prizes. Since I live in Michigan, there was no way I was going to be able to use some of the restaurant gift certificates. We had more trading of prizes going on than Lets Make a Deal. I know that Diane and I traded at least twice. We were all so happy that evening and cold. It was so terribly cold compared to the 80's it was during the day. We took some wonderful pictures. I am so glad that we did.  

I feel very blessed to have met Diane and was able to spend some time with her. We were looking forward to seeing each other again next year. I will, I just will have to visit through my heart and memories. Diane's angel block will be added to our memorial quilt. She will never be forgotten.  

Peace and blessings my friend.  

Peg Lewinski





The Lupus Information Table Feauturing The " THREE Stooges"...

From Left To Right, Beth, Frank, Peg, Diane, Janice

               







OUR SLEEPING BEAUTY



Well it's 3 a.m. , we are in the Days Inn, Jennifer is sleeping and I'm sitting here waiting for my meds. to kick in. When we pulled up at the motel Jennifer and I both gasped at the same time. As large as this town is, our motel is directly across the street from the hospital where you passed away. I can picture you standing in one of those windows a week ago watching the people come and go from this motel.



Well sweetie we are here for you, today is the day that we bury your tired and broken body and cry our tears while all along wishing with all our hearts and souls that this really was just one big nightmare. I made you a special quilt flyer for the people of your church, I think you would really like it. I'm going to try and sleep now my Sweet Angel Diane, I will see you in a few hours.



I was thinking about the first real hug I got from you and how excited I was......we had been email buddies for a long time and then you emailed me that your parents would drive you down to have lunch. Ya'll ended up at the wrong restaurant but finally figured out and found me. We laughed, giggled and carried on like we were just old home girls that had known each other since childhood. You looked at my endless pictures of us crazy lupies, my Mickey Mouse Albums, you read every newspaper article I had written. What a wonderful afternoon we spent together! Thank goodness Mom remembered her camera so we did get a few pics!



Gosh what wonderful memories we have of the quilt show. I have not had the courage to watch the tape I made of the quilt show yet because you are such a big part of it just a bee bopping all over the place. Your parents are in town for a few days and tomorrow we are going out to dinner together so I am going to ask your mom if she would like to watch it with me sometime over the next few days.



    I think my favorite memory has to be you running around making everyone wear a name tag. We laughed about that all night because we still kept forgetting each others name. You were so pushy with your little tags.......LOL. I stood right there looking at Frank's tag, looking at Frank who I've met before and known for a couple years and stll couldn't think of his name, remember that? The drink fiasco that Peg talked about even had your mom shaking her head......LOL what a fun time we did have.



Well sweetheart I know you know how much I miss you each and every day. I wish you were here with your mom and dad and I carry you in my heart everywhere I go. You know what I really, really miss? Well besides you as a person obviously, I so miss your giggle and your contagious smile! You had a smile worth a million bucks sweetheart and it just made your entire face glow. Your giggle and that smile even came across in your emails, I bet you didn't know that, did you? I can still see it and hear it when I close my eyes. I hope that you and Annie, Susan and Shawna are up there behaving yourselves and keep an eye out for us sweetie, we will all be together again one day and have another pig picking, laugh and giggle like we haven't been apart at all. You will always be our Sleeping Beauty.

I LOVE YOU,

Beth











The Music Playing On This Page Is " One Sweet Day ".