DIANE'S GRAVESIDE AND
CHURCH
SERVICES
A special viewing was held for the family last
night, May 14, 2000. Diane was holding a white
rose
in her hands that I had requested from her
Lupie
brothers and sisters, and was wearing the
purple
ribbon butterfly pin that Peg had given her in
Feb.
Lynne told me that since Feb. Diane had worn
that
pin every single day, even while in the
hospital, so
she told her mom that the pin was the one thing
of
Diane's that she really wanted to keep.
We could not have asked for a more beautiful
day for
the graveside service this morning. The sky was
a
beautiful Carolina blue with huge white puffy
clouds. The landsape of the sculptures,
waterfountains and trees in the cemetery was
breathtaking. The only sounds were of birds
chirping. The spray on her casket were
beautiful
spring flowers, it had a centerpiece of
butterflies
that were bouncing up and down and sideways in
the
gentle breeze. Jennfier and I smiled because we
knew
what the butterflies were for.
The minister spoke at the cemetery about Lupus.
You
knew that Diane and he had been close for many
years
by listening to his words about what he knew
about
how we feel living day in and day out with
lupus.
She had poured her heart out to him about her
inermost fears as a person living with lupus
who is
a parent, who is a daughter, who is an
employee, who
is a friend. He knew her during her 15 yrs. of
remission. He has been with her in this last
year
that her Lupus has been active again. He was
with
her when she struggled so hard this past week
to
hang on for her 12 yr. old son.
With each sentence that came out of his mouth
with
the word Lupus in it, Jennifer and I would
clutch
each others hands a little more tighter and the
tears would flow a little more faster. I can't
explain it; it's not that his words were hurting
me,
it was more like he was saying my thoughts out
loud.
I am pretty sure that most of you would have felt
the
same "strange way" for lack of a better word.
Several times Jennifer and I purposely backed
up
from the crowd of people when we really went
into a
crying spell because I said I did not want
Betty,
Diane's Mom, to turn around and see me this
upset.
When we blew or noses and pulled it back
together we
would go back up and join the others. The
minister
asked for people to speak about Diane and many
did.
I bet 45 people stood forward and said what a
wonderful human being and friend she was. I
wanted
to, I wanted to say something wonderful,
inspiring,
and truly beautiful but I couldn't. I wish now
that
I would of gone ahead and tried, even if I'd a
cried, screamed, passed out or what.....well
not
literally screamed but that's what my inside
were
doing so I kept my head down and held on for
life to
Jennifer's hand.
When the service was over Diane's family stood
up,
they all hugged each other and then they turned
around in the tent to greet the gatherers. I
watched
Diane's mom with the best smile she could
muster
gaze through the crowd of people nodding her
head
and acknowledging them. Jennifer and I were
huddled
together at the very end of the semi circle and
when
Betty saw us she
nodded and said "Beth". Then she kept going and
looked at Jennifer. Suddenly it hit her we were
there. She shot her eyes back at me and the
look on
her face broke my heart. I took a step forwards
towards her with my cane and bless her heart
she
climbed over and across the grass sheets that
they
had cut and stacked up for Diane's casket and
we
collapsed sobbing in each others arms. I knew
that
this was going to happen when she saw me, I
told
Jennifer it would.
We cried, and cried, we cried and I sobbed " No God Please
No",
we squeezed, we clung to each other for a good
10
mins. She held tight to my hand as the people
came
by to give their condolences.
She wanted us to come back to the house with
the
family and rest before the church service. I
was
shaking so badly, and as sweet as an offer as it
was, I
had to go back to the motel, take my meds. and
rest
before the church service. So Jennifer and I
told
her we would meet them there in time to go to
the
church.
Jennifer and I took a deep breath and held each
others hand real tight and went under the tent
and
stood infront of the casket. I said well
sweetie
"This sure isn't what we were planning 3 months
ago
was it " Diane's dad came in and put his arms
around
me and told me how much he appreciated us
taking the
time to travel all this way to come to suport
Betty,
especially since they had heard that I had had
a
stroke.
We followed the limo to the church for the
service
and it was a beautiful upbeat service that
Diane had
wanted. The people in the church were so
wonderful
to me, everyone kept wanting to put me in a
wheelchair but I wanted to do this on my feet.
They made Jennifer and I part of the family in
the
ceremony. We were led in the front of the
church
with them we sat with them, and they led us
out
with them.
The church service as Candy described was a
Celebration of Diane's Life. The minister said
to "
Not Only Remember Diane With A
Smile........Remember
Diane's Beautiful Smile "! She sure did have a
beautiful smile.
Celebration Of Life written by Helen Steiner
Rice
was Diane's favorite book of poetry so several
of
her favorite poems were read. Heartgifts and
There's
Sunshine In A Smile.
Diane's favorite passages that were read
Matthew 6 &
7, Romans 8 .
The N.C. Chapter of LFA had a vote on Sunday
and set
up the Diane Elizabeth Scales Pulliam Research
Memorial Fund For The Cure Of Lupus. What a
beautiful name for a fund. The address is LFA
N.C.
Chapter 2841 Foxwood Lane, Winston-Salem, N.C.
27103.
The family also asks that quilt squares be made
and
sent in for our quilt project of Chelsea's and
Peg's
that Diane loved so much in her memory.
I made up a special quilt flyer for the church
members with a picture of her on it, if you'd
like
to see it click here
The Song That Is Playing On This Page Is Hero by Mariah Carey.
