An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants, and from whom.
Few women past the age of 50
gives a darn what you might think about her.
An older single woman usually has had
her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "commitment."
The last thing she needs in her life
is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are dignified.
They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it,
they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Most older women cook well.
They care about cleanliness and are generous with praise,
often undeserved.
An older woman has the self-assurance
to introduce you to her women friends.
A younger woman with a man
will often ignore even her best friend because
she doesn't trust the guy with other women.
Older women couldn't care less.
Women get more psychic as they age.
You never have to confess your sins to an older woman.
They always know.
An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick.
This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
*Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.
Her experience of lovemaking is honed
and reciprocal and she's lived long enough
to know how to please a man
in ways her daughter could never dream of.
(Young men, you have something to look forward to.)
Older women are forthright and honest.
They'll tell you right off
you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
For every stunning, well-coifed babe of 70,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
making a fool of himself
with some 22 year old waitress.
Count your blessings that men die off
at a far younger age leaving us
the best part of our lives to appreciate
the exquisite woman we've become
without the distraction of some demanding
old man clinging and whining his way into our serenity.
