"You're what?" I exclaimed. Will was sitting in front of me, trembling and looking as though she was holding back tears. "When did this happen?"
"Um, I found out last month," she admitted quietly.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"Because it didn't seem important at the time."
"Not important?" I raged, standing up and turning away from her. "Willow, you're my best friend. How can the fact that you're moving away be not important to me?"
Willow didn't reply. She continued shivering, and avoided my look when I turned back to her. I sighed and sat back down beside her quietly. I was afraid to say anything for fear that it would make matters worse, but I wanted desperately to prove to myself that this was a dream. I'd read in books and seen on television that some kids' best friends move away, but this wasn't a work of fiction. It was my life, and I felt miserable at the hands of the knowledge that I couldn't do anything about it. "Are you mad at me?" Will asked softly. I took her hand.
"No."
"Are you sure?"
I smiled. "Yes, I'm positive." I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer against me. "When do you leave?"
"The end of next month," she answered. I felt the courage I had built up earlier slowly drain away, leaving me defeated and depressed. Because I'd be traveling, I had less than a month left with my best friend. She turned to me with a puzzled look. "Didn't you have something to tell me?"
My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't just drop her like this, not in a time of pain and need. I shook my head. "It was nothing. It can wait," I told her. Will looked unsure about my answer, but dropped the subject anyway. We sat there for a while longer, the night getting even darker. Pale white moonlight filtered through the bare tree branches, giving us just enough light to see each other.
"We should go back." I offered her my hand and helped her stand up, and we slowly made our way back down the tree to the ground. Out of habit, I took her hand as we walked back to my house. That night as I lay awake, waiting for sleep to overcome me, I began to think about everything that had happened. Since Willow was moving away before we were to go on tour, maybe I didn't have to cool things off with her. Maybe they'd just cool off on their own when she left. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to forget about everything that plagued me.
"Happy Birthday!" came the call of the last of Taylor's friends to leave his party. I collapsed on the living room floor, all partied out. Zac and Reagan were cuddling on the couch, flirting up a storm. Couldn't a person be partied out in peace? I dragged myself up and stumbled to the kitchen. Tay was sitting at the table making a list of who gave him what present.
"Hey," I greeted, sitting beside him. I glanced over his shoulder at the paper. "That's a pretty long list."
"Yeah, tell me about it. Ever since we made 'Middle of Nowhere', everyone wants to be my friend," Taylor observed. I laughed.
"Hmm, could it be because you're smart, funny, or famous?" Tay laughed too.
"Oh good, you didn't include looks. Zac says everyone wants to be with me because of how I look. I'd hope it would be because of my personality, not my fame," he replied earnestly. Zoë, who was lying in a bassinet next to the table, started whimpering. Taylor started to reach for her, but I stopped him.
"Let me," I insisted. I picked up the crying infant and cradled her in my arms. "I'm not gonna have much more time with her."
"Or us. I wish we could be here with you longer before you have to go away, but we're going to London," Tay said, sounding upset. I looked at him with shock.
"How can you be bummed about going to London? I'd kill to go there!"
"Oh, I'm not bummed about going. But having only two more days with you after this is enough to kill the excitement," he revealed. I let Zoë pull on my fingers.
"I'll be here when you guys get back," I reminded him.
"But it will be your last time."
"So? It's better than me not being here after a trip to London, isn't it?" I asked.
"Well," Tay smiled a little, "when you put it that way, I guess. But I'll still miss you. We'll have to visit you every time we go to New York."
"Good. I'll look forward to it," I told him. Isaac, Zac, and Reagan stepped into the kitchen.
"We're gonna bring Reagan home. Wanna come?" Zac asked. Isaac's eyes landed on me hopefully, but I shook my head. Taylor also declined. "Okay, we'll be back soon."
"Happy Birthday Taylor!" Reagan called before leaving the house. After hearing the Lincoln pull out of the driveway, Tay turned to me.
"Why didn't you go?"
I shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."
"Don't you want to spend more time with Ike?"
I gave him a funny look. "Well, yeah, but I always spend time with him. He isn't the only one I'm going to miss. You guys have become like a second family to me."
"Aww, stop. You're making me cry," Taylor joked. He leaned over and hugged me, and I laughed.
"Hi," Brianna greeted cautiously. The color had returned to her face and her eyes were bright again. She looked like the same person I had met nearly a year ago. I was, to say the least, stunned to see her.
"Wow. Umm, I mean hi!" I replied, smiling. "Please, come in. It's a little bit messy; we're still packing."
We both stopped and Bri turned to me with a confused look. "You're packing? Why?"
"Umm, my father and I are moving to New York," I told her.
"Oh," she said quietly, looking awkwardly at the carpet. I felt a pang of guilt.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just thought you didn't want…" I trailed off. We were silent for a minute, then I led her into the den and we sat on the couch. I sighed. "I'm sorry I said all those things to you. I really shouldn't have said them."
"No, it's okay. I'm sorry for being so mean to you when all you were trying to do was help me. I realize that now, and I feel really thankful that I have such wonderful friends who care about me." Bri gave me a hug, and I couldn't help but smile. She laughed a little. "I probably should have done this sooner."
"Well, it's better late than never," I informed her. We talked for nearly an hour about Zoë, the Hanson tour, and other happenings in our lives. When she left, I felt a sudden peace settle over me. Things were set right between us and I was glad that I'd be leaving Oklahoma knowing that things were okay.
We got home around 1:30am. The four of us dragged our tired bodies out of the taxi that had taken us home from the airport and got our luggage. Mom was awake and greeted us at the front door. She showered us all with hugs. Zac and Taylor went right upstairs to bed. I lingered on the stairs and looked over my shoulder at my parents. They had their arms around each other and were smiling and talking. They were perfectly happy just being in each other's presence. Climbing the stairs slowly, I realized that I envied their happiness when they were together like that. I wanted to know what it felt like to have pure happiness with someone. I wanted to have someone as my own. I wanted to feel the emotions of being completely in love with someone. Sighing to myself, I turned down the hall and into my room.
The next afternoon, still jet lagged, my brothers and I went over to Brad Carter's house to surprise Willow with some gifts from my family. Taylor had gotten her a glass replica of the Eiffel Tower when we had gone on a last minute day-trip to France. Zac gave her a signed head shot photo of him in a frame. Willow gave him an amused look.
"So you'll never forget the cutest guy in Tulsa," he explained hastily, just barely getting out of the way of Taylor's hand (intended to make contact with the back of his head). Willow laughed and thanked his for his gift. My parents and siblings gave her a card, making her eyes mist over a little.
"That's so sweet," she managed. Zac rolled his eyes.
"Oh, come on. It's a card," he commented. I gave her a calling card so that she'd be able to keep in touch with us. As we were leaving, I took Will aside to speak with her alone.
"A friend of mine is throwing a costume party tonight. I know it's a little out of season for costumes, but he likes to remain unique. It just happens to coincide with your birthday, and I thought maybe you'd like to go with me," I invited. Will smiled at the idea.
"Sure, it sounds like fun." She paused, then frowned. "I don't have a costume."
"Oh, that's okay. We'll find something for you. Come over to my house at 5:00, okay?" She nodded, and we parted ways. I practically flew home to raid our attic and find our trunk full of old Halloween costumes.
"Hey, what are you doing?" she asked. I showed her the trunk.
"Costume searching. Care to join me?" I asked. Just as she knelt beside me, Taylor and Zac came leaping up the attic stairs, sending clouds of dust to billow up into the air. Taylor stopped and sneezed violently, and Zac looked around in awe.
"Dude, this is so cool! I should come up here more often!" he exclaimed. He grabbed a floppy straw hat off of a hat stand and put it onto his head, then did a model turn. "What do you think? Is it me?"
"No, Zac, put that down. It was grandma's," Taylor reprimanded, grabbing the hat off of our brother's head. Zac walked away to look around some more. Tay joined Willow and I at the trunk. I gave him an annoyed glance.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Looking for costumes. We're going to the party too," he replied. My eyes widened.
"What? No, you're not!" I argued, standing up. Zac poked his head out from a pile of boxes across from us.
"Yeah we are. Derek invited us too," he informed me. I sighed, pouting. Willow smiled at me.
"Chill out, Ike. Nobody is twisting your arm to hang out with them at the party," she told me. I glared at my brothers before going back to the trunk. After pulling out half of the clothes, I finally came across a costume that my mother had worn when she was a teenager. It was a deep red, wine colored dress that looked like it came straight from the Victorian ages. There was a matching handbag and gloves to go with it. I held it up.
"Hey Tay, I found something for you," I called, showing him. Tay narrowed his eyes at me.
"Really funny, Ike," he grumbled. I laughed, then turned to put it on the pile with the other clothes I had discarded. Willow touched the fabric gently, eyeing the dress. I looked at her carefully.
"Will, you'd probably fit in this. Try it on," I suggested. She cautiously pulled the dress on over her clothes and I zipped the back up. It was a little loose on her, but fit nonetheless. She grinned.
"This is so cool. Should I ask your mother first?"
"No, she already okayed whatever we choose," I answered. Will took the dress off and collected the accessories, then carefully draped them over the railing next to the stairs and went to help Taylor. Zac jumped out in front of me, and shouted, "BOO!" He was wearing a white sheet. I rolled my eyes. "Wow, real original Zac."
Zac pulled the sheet off and grinned. "I know."
Nearly half an hour later, everybody but me had a costume. Zac had finally decided to be Clarke Kent, using an old Superman costume under a suit he had found and a black wig. Taylor found a zuit suit that made him look like someone from the 40's, with a matching hat. I sighed in frustration. Zac patted my shoulder as he passed me on the way to the stairs.
"Don't give up, Ikey. If you don't find anything, you can always dress up like me and go as Zac Hanson," he told me. I sniggered.
"I don't know. I don't want to scare anybody away," I teased.
"Ouch," Zac shot back sarcastically. Tay and Zac went downstairs, and Will sat down beside me.
"No luck?"
I shook my head and leaned back against some boxes. The top box wobbled and fell down, spilling out a few shirt boxes. I opened one and froze. Inside was a very realistic looking cape made out of heavy, scratchy wool with a red satin lining. The front clasp had some kind of deep red stone in it and looked rather old. I pulled the cape out and twirled it around. A pair of black gloves fell out of the box.
"What's that from?"
"I don't know. I've never seen it before," I answered. Will reached over and opened another of the boxes and found a black velvet shirt and a pair of black pants. I held the shirt up against me and gave her a questioning look. "Does it look like it'll fit?"
"Yeah, but what costume is this? The Phantom of the Opera or something?" she asked.
"Maybe, I don't know. Is there a mask?" Will looked through the boxes and shook her head, then held up an unopened package of vampire teeth. I grinned. "Nice! It's a realistic vampire costume. Are there any blood capsules in there?" I asked eagerly, looking through one of the other boxes. It was filled with a variety of make up.
"Nope, don't see any," Willow replied.
"Darn. Oh well, now I've got a costume. Come on, let's go get ready."
"Willow, you look better in that than I did," she commented in awe. I blushed.
"It's a little big, but it's very pretty," I replied. "Thanks for letting me wear it."
"No problem! Do you need make up? I've got some colors that would look great. And your hair…" she trailed off, pulling me along upstairs to help me get ready. "I just finished helping Isaac with his costume. He looks fantastic."
"Yeah, where did that costume come from? Ike said he hadn't seen it before," I commented as Diana sat me at her vanity in her bedroom. She began to brush out my hair.
"It came from someone in Walker's family. He wore it to a Halloween party that was our first date," she told me, twisting my hair in little sections and pinning it up. I smiled.
"Do you remember what you wore?" I asked. Diana shook her head.
"No, I'm not sure. I think it was an angel, but I don't quite remember. Something in white," she answered. When she finished with my hair, she sprayed it a little, then started on my make up. It turned out that she did have colors that matched. The lipstick she used was the same shade as the dress I was wearing. When she finished, I hardly recognized my reflection. I grinned at her and hugged her.
"Thank you so much," I said. Diana grabbed a cream colored shawl from her closet and put it around my shoulders, then stepped back to admire her work. She gave a satisfied nod.
"You'll be the center of attention," she told me as we headed back down stairs.
"Oh, I hope not. How embarrass-" I stopped short when I saw Isaac. He looked absolutely radiant, and completely unlike himself. His hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and his face had a faint silver shimmer, just barely visible when the light hit it right, but astounding in it's effect. Our eyes met and he grinned.
"Wow, you look great," he commented. I did a twirl, the skirts fanning out around my legs slightly. Tay and Zac clapped loudly, and Ike put the vampire teeth into his mouth. They seemed to fit perfectly, because he could close his lips without any trace of teeth. "These are so cool. I can actually talk normally with them in."
"Ready to boogie?" Tay asked, doing a dance move. Zac made a face as he headed out the door.
"Never do that again," he ordered. Tay followed him out. Ike glanced over at his mother.
"We won't be late," he assured her. Diana smiled and shook her head.
"Don't worry about it. No curfew tonight," she replied. Ike grinned broadly, then offered me his arm and escorted me out into the night. The party was being held at a house that was a few blocks down, so we decided to walk there. I pulled the shawl around me tighter, silently scolding myself for not wearing a jacket. The dress had a low neckline and the sleeves ended just above my shoulder. I kept tugging the dress up, feeling awkward.
"Stop doing that, you look fine," Ike assured me. We paused outside of the house where the party was already in full swing. Ike looked at both of his brothers. "Okay, a few rules."
Zac groaned. "C'mon, Ike! This is a party! It's supposed to be fun."
"Exactly. Now, if you follow these few rules, you will have fun without getting in trouble," Isaac agreed. "Number one: no drinking. I know for a fact that Derek's parents are out of town for the weekend, so there will definitely be alcohol. Number two: I don't want to find either of you in any dark room alone with any girls."
Taylor and Zac groaned jokingly, and I laughed.
"I'm serious! Trust me on this one. And number three: if you're going to leave early, let me know. Other than that, trust your own judgement. Now, have fun." He motioned towards the door, and his brothers took off. I smiled at Ike.
"Rules, Isaac?" I asked, amused.
"Yes. I'm responsible for them," he reminded me. "They go for you too."
I grinned slyly. "Don't worry, you won't find me alone in a room with any girls," I teased. Ike turned red.
"Well, you know what I mean…"
"Shut up, Zac," I grumbled. But shutting up wasn't an option. Zac had all but collapsed into stitches of laughter, his face turning a bright shade of red.
"Oh God Tay, that was so funny! The look on your face! Oh my God I'm gonna puke..." he trailed off, desperately trying to catch his breath. I frowned.
"Good, I hope you do," I snapped. I peaked around the fridge to make sure that Ruthann was nowhere near, then walked away from my brother and mingled into the crowd. I saw Ike and Willow across the room talking with some people and started to walk over to them, but paused when I heard some girls talking behind me. Trying to look casual yet still eavesdrop, I stood closer to them.
"Did you see Isaac Hanson and that girl over there?" one asked. There was a murmur of answers that I didn't hear. I stood a little closer. "Who is she?"
"I think she's their family babysitter," another girl said. The group laughed and I pursed my lips.
"You'd think that he'd be able to find a decent date with his stature. I mean, God, she's practically all over him. She hasn't left his side for a second since they got here."
"I don't blame her. Isaac looks totally hot in that costume. I wouldn't mind being victim to that vampire." They giggled again.
"Doesn't that dress look a little slutty on her? Where'd she get it, Goodwill?" one girl sneered. I tried to step closer, but tripped and fell into their little circle. They all glared down at me and I laughed nervously.
"Uhhh, hi ladies," I greeted, waving. I stood up and brushed myself off. "Umm, I was just leaving." I dashed away from them and over to my brother and Willow. Isaac was busy talking to someone, but Willow smiled when she noticed me. I tugged on Isaac's cape a couple times, and when he didn't respond I gave it a hard yank, choking him.
"Tay, for the love of God...." he grumbled, turning to me. "What is it?"
"I want to leave," I told him. Isaac rolled his eyes.
"Why? We just got here," he replied.
"Yeah, well, this isn't fun. I'm going home," I informed him, then stepped away and practically tripped over my pant leg. I grumbled to myself as I headed towards the front door and felt a gloved hand on my wrist. I spun around and saw Willow beside me. She smiled.
"Not having fun?" she asked. I shook my head. "Neither am I. I don't know anyone."
"That Ruthann girl is here, the one whose father works with yours. She's psycho," I told her. Will laughed. I started to ease up and fixed the feather in my hat. "You wanna go get something to drink?"
"Sure," Will agreed. I led her back into the kitchen where there was a large spread of food, soda, and, as Isaac had mentioned earlier, alcohol. I grabbed two cups and put some ice in them, then pour them half full of Coca-Cola. Willow gave me a curious look as I scanned the selection of booze before choosing a bottle. "Taylor, what are you doing?"
I grinned and offered her the drink. "Rum and coke," I answered, taking a sip. I choked, and she laughed. "Yep, that's pretty darn good."
"Try sipping it slowly," Willow suggested, demonstrating. My next sip went down smoothly. Zac appeared once again at my side, his eyes wide.
"You're breaking rule number one," he informed us, mimicking Isaac. We laughed. "Pour me one." Taylor did just that, putting less alcohol into this one. Zac left again, and Will and I went to find a place to sit down. We found a place in the living room, and were just watching the people around us when I felt a pair of hands slip over my eyes from behind me.
"Guess who?" a voice asked. I winced.
"Ruthann?" I moved the hands and twisted around to see her.
"Wow! You're good," she squealed, then put her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. "I thought I saw you earlier. But you disappeared"
"Hi Ruthann," Willow greeted. "Oh, hi," she replied, not even glancing in Will's direction. "I love your costume, Tay. It's so original."
"Thanks," I stammered.
"What is it again?" she asked after a moment. Willow coughed on the last sip of her drink as she laughed, and I jumped up. "Want a refill? I'm gonna go get a refill, I'll be right back," I announced, then dashed away to the kitchen. I managed to pour two more rum and cokes and carry them back to the living room, thankfully without bumping into anyone and spilling. When I got back to the place I had been sitting, Ruthann was gone. I gave Will a puzzled look as I handed her a cup. "What happened to Ruthann?"
"Oh, nothing…" She trailed off, innocently twirling a stray piece of hair around her finger. I gave her a doubtful look and she sighed. "I only told her that you just got out of a messy break-up, and you don't want a new relationship because you aren't over him yet."
I nearly drown on the liquid I had just taken a drink of. "Him?" I choked. Willow grinned.
"Well, yeah. Him. It got her to leave you alone, didn't it?" she asked. I gave her a shocked look.
"Willow, you didn't! Please tell me you didn't tell her I was gay," I begged. Willow started laughing, her face turning red. I groaned as I sat beside her. "I can't believe you did that. Never talk to me again."
"I'm sorry. I was only kidding," Will laughed. If she had been a boy, I would have pummeled her. Instead, I merely scowled at her. "I told her that I thought I saw Justin Timberlake just walk in the door, and she took off."
A smile crept onto my face. "You're so wicked," I told her. Willow grinned.
"I know. And you're loving every minute of it."