"Yes! I got the new Turbo Rangers Blue Ranger!" Zac yelled, re-discovering a gift that he had received. Ike and Tay stopped playing to watch their little brother run around the room with the toy in his hand.
"Zac, now that you are officially a pre-teen and you are in the 6th grade, I think you should lay off the Power Rangers and everything," Isaac informed him gently. Everyone turned their eyes to his hands, where he himself held an action figure much like the one in Zac's hands. Ike tossed the toy aside, embarrassed.
"Hey, practice what you preach," I told him, smiling.
"What? Give up Power Rangers? Never!" Zac exclaimed. He grabbed his new toys and ran up to his room to dump them with his others. Tay stretched and stood up.
"I'm gonna go use to computer," he told us, walking out of the room. I stayed sitting, a little uneasy in Isaac's presence. He sighed quietly. I played with the fringe on a pillow, then looked up, startled, when Isaac moved to sit beside me.
"Please, Willow, don't let things between us change. We made a little mistake; that's all. Mistakes can be fixed and forgotten. I don't want to loose what we already have," he pleaded, taking my hands. I looked at him, his eyes boring into mine sincerely. My heart pounded. I nodded.
"I don't want to loose it either," I replied. A smile crept onto his lips.
"Good. That's settled. Let's go back to the old Isaac and Willow. Say, oh, about half an hour ago?" he suggested comically. I smiled.
"Sure. Oh, and Isaac?"
"Yeah?"
"It is okay for you to call me Will, you know. Taylor isn't the only one designated to say it," I informed him jokingly. Isaac nodded.
"Good, I was wondering when you'd let me call you that," he told me. I laughed.
"Hey Ike?" I questioned. My oldest brother looked up from his American Government book and shot me an annoyed look.
"Zac, this is the fourth time you've interrupted me. I have work to do. What do you want?" he asked. I shot him a nasty look in the mirror.
"Fine, if that's the way you want to act. I just thought that I could depend on my brothers, no matter what situation. I guess I was wrong, like I always am. I'll just go back to my own life," I retorted, then went back to flexing my, ahem, muscles. I heard Isaac sigh.
"Okay, Zac. I'm sorry. What is it that you wanted to talk about?"
I grinned secretly, then turned around to direct my words at him. "Do you think Willow likes me?" My question caught him off guard. He gave me a strange look. I wasn't sure if it was from my question, or the fact that I was standing in front of the mirror with only Pajama bottoms on.
"Why do you ask?"
"Just wonderin'."
Ike suddenly smirked. Uh oh. "Why wouldn't she? I mean, doesn't every 12 year-old boy in America have a crush on a girl who's almost 3 and ½ years older than he is? Doesn't every 12 year-old boy stare at himself in vain wondering if girls find him attractive?"
"Or if guys do," Taylor added. I gave him a nasty look.
"Your sarcasm is not appreciated right now Jordan," I grumbled. Taylor laughed hard.
"Ooh, the first name..." he teased. I pulled a T-shirt over my head, then flicked the light off before climbing into bed.
"Hey, I was trying to read!" Isaac protested in the darkness.
"Tough, I'm trying to sleep," I shot back. I heard him drop his book on the floor, then all was quiet. "Do you think I'll ever find a girl around my age who likes me for who I am, as much as I like her?"
"Look, Zac, you just turned 12. What's with the rush to find the perfect girl? You have your whole life ahead of you," Ike answered, serious this time.
"You sound like dad," I informed him, smiling in the darkness. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was being hit in the head with a flying pillow.
"You guys have got to come see this," he exclaimed. He left the room just as quickly, leaving Isaac and I giving each other confused looks. We made our way into the living room where we found Zac staring-whoops, wrong word-drooling out the front window. I glanced out it too, trying to find what it was that had gotten Zac in such a state. A group of girls were rollerblading down the street. I rolled my eyes.
"What's so important?" I asked. Zac pointed.
"Did you see her?"
"See who?" Isaac asked, practically pushing me out of the way.
"The girl. The blonde one rollerblading," Zac answered in awe. Ike and I exchanged a look, then turned to our younger brother.
"Zac? Might I remind you that just a few weeks ago, you were convinced that all girls, excluding the ones in our family, had cooties?" I reminded him. Zac seemed to come to life again and shook his head at me.
"Um, Taylor? Hello? Two days ago I was only 11. Now I'm a pre-teen. Isn't it amazing how much one year can change a person?" He pretended to break down into tears, covering his face with his hands. Isaac watched calmly.
"Why don't you go talk to her?" he suggested. Zac stared wide-eyed at Isaac.
"What? Talk to her! As in, just walk up and say: 'Hi babe, how's it goin'?" he inquired, gripping the windowsill so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Ike laughed.
"Well, not that exactly. Just go up and introduce yourself. Make small talk. Ask if you can join her in rollerblading or something," he corrected. Zac gulped.
"All by my lonesome?" he asked in a tiny voice, shooting helpless looks back and forth at Isaac and me. I shook my head.
"No way. No, Zac. Don't even look at me. As of now, Taylor Hanson has nothing to do with stalking some poor, innocent girl. Why are you guys so interested in dating all of a sudden? I thought that our music was our first priority right now?" I demanded. Zac and Ike exchanged little glances.
"Taylor, you said it yourself that things change," Isaac started.
"This is not what I mean by that," I replied.
"Oh, that's right! I forgot, Tay is too young to be interested in dating. We're sorry Taylie," Zac joked, looking at me and trying to keep a straight face. My face twisted into a look of hurt. I stood up and left them to girl watch by themselves. "Tay! I was only half joking! Hey, come back! I love you man!"
I rolled my eyes. My brothers were hopeless and helpless.
Olivia and I were sitting on the front porch of her house, working on Algebra problems. Actually, I was the one working. Olive was staring at some kids rollerblading down the street. I studied the paper in front of me, absently biting my tongue as I tried to memorize the quadratic formula.
"Ow!" I cried, feeling the pain of my teeth. Olive looked over at me and laughed. I ignored her and went back to the paper. After a few minutes, "Okay, I think I've got it."
"Okay, moving on..." Olivia started, flipping a few pages in the book on her lap. I groaned and purposefully slipped off the porch swing and onto the hard wood floor beneath. Olive put the book aside and sat beside me on the floor. She stared at me for several seconds. "What's wrong? Something is bothering you, I can tell."
"Nothing is wrong," I told her, squirming under her gaze. Olive raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
"Did something happen between you and Isaac? Did you have a fight?" she asked. Wow, she was good at this. She seemed kinda, oh I don't know. Motherly. Is that even a word? I made a face at her, then rolled over so that my back was facing her.
"No, we didn't have a fight. I just... I don't know. I guess we were spending too much time together. I need a break from being the best friend of the most popular 16 year-old guy in the music biz," I rambled without noticing. Olive pulled my shoulder until I was looking at her again. She smiled.
"He kissed you, didn't he?" she asked. I blushed, then nodded. Olive sighed and hugged me. "Oh, my little Willow is growing up."
"Olive! Stop it!" I giggled, wriggling out of her arms. Then I turned serious, looking at her with wide eyes. "Olive, it was so scary. I cried afterward."
"Aww, you cried? Silly, you aren't supposed to cry when a cute boy kisses you," she teased. "Why did you cry?"
"Because I was scared. A kiss changes everything, and I don't want us to change," I told her, sitting up. Olivia raised her eyebrows again. I smiled. "Stop doing that, you look weird."
"Are you sure you don't want things to change?" she asked. I nodded slowly, thinking hard about what she had said. Then I stopped. Did I really not want things to change? Our conversation ended abruptly when Brianna's little brother, Jamie, ran into our front yard, out of breath.
"Bri's… home. Wanted me… to get… you," he choked out, gasping for breath after running the entire way from his house to mine. I looked at Olive anxiously and she nodded for me to go. Jamie and I hurried off back in the direction of his house. When we reached his front yard, I saw a thin, black haired girl sitting on the front steps.
"Bri?" I asked softly, walking up to her slowly. Jamie dashed past me into the house. The girl on the steps looked up at me and smiled a half-smile.
"Hi Will. Long time, no see," she greeted. I paused, staring at her uncertainly. This couldn't be one of my closest friends. She had changed so much in such a short time. I looked at her hair, which was once healthy and a beautiful brown, and was now stringy and dyed black. My gaze stopped on her face, which was pale and tired looking. Bri gave me a cross look. "I'm not a damn lab rat, so don't look at me that way," she snapped. I felt the blood rise to my cheeks.
"Um, sorry. I'm just surprise to see you, that's all," I explained quietly. Bri patted the steps beside her and I sat down obediently. "What are you doing home? I thought you moved in with Tucker?"
"Well, I did. And it was so fun! We had parties, and slept in as late as we wanted. It was the best time of my life," she told me. I nodded, listening to her. Then she frowned. "Then his mom came home one night during a party and freaked out about the drugs and alcohol."
"Drugs and alcohol?" I repeated meekly, looking at her in surprise. She nodded.
"She called the police, and we were arrested, then they called my parents. And here I am," she sighed, leaning back onto the steps. "And now I'm grounded 'until further notice.' Tulsa sucks, I can't wait to get out of here for good."
"Have you seen Ike and Tay yet?" I asked softly. Bri let out a bitter laugh.
"Yeah, right," she sneered. "Ike would most likely bitch me out more than my parents have. I don't need his crap right now."
"Oh," was all I could manage. Was this the Brianna that I have been such good friends with just a short time ago? It sure didn't sound like her. It really didn't look like her either. I frowned and looked down at my tightly clasped hands. There was silence.
"Has he been asking about me?" she asked, softer this time. I only shrugged. The painful truth was that Ike hadn't mentioned a word to me about her. Bri coughed, her entire body trembling. I put my hand on her shoulder to help steady her. "Thanks."
"Bri, why did you do this?" I asked. She looked at me coldly.
"Do what?"
"Run off to New York, away from a safe, healthy life here. Why would you leave this for drugs and everything?" I questioned. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Because I wanted to. Not everyone wants a happy, safe family life in a hick town like you do," she replied, her words piercing me like knives. I flinched. "I wanted adventure and fun, and Tucker could give me that. Besides that, I didn't have any reasons. I didn't know I had to explain my intentions for going on a little trip to New York."
"Well, sorry. I was only concerned," I tried to explain. "Maybe I should just go."
"Yeah, maybe you should. Run away, little girl," Bri sneered. I turned to her with a hurt look, then took a deep breath yo calm myself.
"You know, it's probably a good thing that Ike and Tay haven't seen you yet. They have such a good thing going for them right now, why waste their time on a drugged out friend who would only bring them down? I wouldn't blame them for wanting to avoid you. You give the word 'friendship' a bad image."
Bri looked as shocked as I felt at the words that came from my mouth. An angered look soon clouded her face. "Are you finished?"
I nodded.
"Good. Then would you kindly leave my yard?" she asked, no emotion playing in her voice. I stood up and walked away without hesitation. I passed Brad's house and found that Olive had gone inside. Rather than turning up the driveway, I kept walking and soon found myself on a familiar street. Although I had just explained to Olivia how badly I needed a break from him, I needed to see Isaac more than anything else at that moment.
"Hey Will, what's up?" I asked, plopping down on a chair across from her. Isaac sat beside her. Will reached up and tucked some of her blonde hair behind her ear, keeping her eyes fixated on something in the yard. She was silent.
"Willow?" Isaac asked, gently resting a hand on her shoulder.
"Brianna is home," she told us. A smile formed on my lips.
"Great! When did she get back? Why didn't she call me? Let's go say hi and hang out or something," I suggested, standing up. Willow didn't move. I swung my arms toward the door. "Coming?"
Finally, Will looked up. Her eyes were red and I realized that she'd been crying. I gave Ike a concerned look.
"She's changed so much. She isn't the same person I met last March," she told us. I didn't move. "She told me that she and Tucker got arrested for possession of drugs and alcohol. God, Tay, she's so thin and pale." Will ran a shaky hand through her hair. I was stunned. My friend Bri? How did she get caught with drugs and alcohol? She's never done anything like that in her life. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.
"I-I don't know what to say, I..."
"You've already seen her?" Isaac asked softly.
Willow nodded. "Yeah. Jamie came over and got me. She looked so strange, Ike. She snapped at me for looking at her, and she was afraid that you'd yell at her if you saw her like this." Willow's eyes filled with tears, and Ike put his arms around her to hug her. "I kinda said some things that I really regret now, and she doesn't want to see me. I want to help her, but I don't know what to do."
"It's okay. We'll think of something," he promised. Just then, my mother stuck her head into the sunroom. Sometimes, I think that she has impeccable timing. She always knew the right time to ease tension. It must be a mother thing.
"Willow, I was just wondering if you'd like to stay for dinner tonight," she said.Willow smiled politely.
"I don't want to intrude," she replied. My mother waved her hand at Willow.
"Nonsense. You're always welcome here. Let's go call your brother so he knows where you are," she suggested.
"Thanks Mrs. Hanson," Will replied quietly. She and Isaac followed my mom out of the room to call Brad. While they were gone, I wandered out onto the back porch. The sun was just starting its descent out of the sky. It was 3 o'clock, so we had a good 2 or three hours before dinner to hang out or play Sega or something. Without realizing it, I started walking in the direction of Brianna's house. When I got there, I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. Bri's dad answered it.
"Oh, hello Taylor. I haven't seen you in a while," he greeted me.
"Umm, hi. Is Bri home?" I asked, nervously wringing my hands until I accidentally popped my middle knuckle. He nodded slowly and led me into the house. Bri was sitting at the kitchen table, looking out of the French doors that led into the backyard.
"Bri, Taylor is here," he told her. She looked towards me and smiled. My eyes widened at the sight of her. Willow was right; she had changed so much.
"Hi Tay," she whispered. I walked hesitantly towards her.
"Bri..." I started. She pulled out a chair beside her and motioned for me to sit beside her. I never took my eyes off her.
"What's up?" she asked semi-casually. I merely blinked. She frowned. "What's everyone's deal? Act like I've just come back from the dead or something."
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, averting my gaze to a vase of flowers on the table in front of me. Brianna sighed, slouching in her seat beside me.
"No, I'm sorry," she insisted. "I just don't get it! I'm not such a big deal. Everyone is blowing this whole situation way out of proportion." She paused, fidgeting with the hem of the tablecloth. "Willow told you I was here, didn't she?"
I nodded. Bri rolled her eyes.
"What a bitch. You'd think she'd just keep her mouth shut," she grumbled. My eyebrows crinkled in confusion.
"Bri, she was just trying to help," I told her.
"I don't need her help," my friend insisted. Anger started to rise inside of me, followed by disappointment and resentment.
"Maybe you don't think that now. God, Bri, did you ever stop to think about what you were doing?" I asked. Bri sighed, turning away from me. "What?"
"Not you too."
"You don't expect me to be upset by this? Brianna, we were best friends! You can't just up and leave because you want to have fun. You have responsibilities," I told her, my voice rising slightly. Bri stood up and walked outside. I followed closely. "Were you even going to call to tell me you were back?"
"Not yet," she replied.
"Why not?"
"Because I knew this would happen!" she yelled, turning to me. "I knew you'd do this, you always do! I left you for a little while, because I needed a break. Don't forget that you did the same thing!"
"I did nothing like this!" I shot back.
"Oh yes you did. You and your family left me behind because you had better things to do."
"We were recording an album!"
"Exactly! Just being a local band wasn't good enough. This city, these fans, these people weren't good enough for you. When I realized that for myself, I tried to leave too. Like you, I had better things to do. But everyone gets mad at me!"
"I never said that," I told her, suddenly calm. "I never said that Tulsa wasn't good enough."
"Well, you might as well have said it," Bri grumbled, crossing her arms unhappily. "It just gets tiring when everything you do and every decision you make isn't good enough for the people you love. I was tired of being a screw up, and Tucker was an outlet."
"You aren't a screw up," I insisted, putting my hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, Bri sat on the porch steps, her shoulders shaking gently. I sat beside her and put my arms around her shoulders in a comforting hug as she cried. "Don't cry, Bri. Everything will be okay."
"I'm s-so s-sorry," she managed to choke out in between sobs. I brushed my hands over her dark hair and let her cry, soothing her as my mother had done to me so many times when I was younger and had scrapped my knee or had had a bad dream. Minutes later, Bri wiped her eyes and we sat there in silence, awkwardness filling the air between us for the first time I could remember. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"It's okay to cry," I assured her. I let go and wiped away a few more tears. "I want you to know that I'm not mad at you. I was worried about you."
"Thanks," she replied meekly. She smiled a little and the Bri that I remember appeared again. "You're a great friend, Taylor."
"You make me a great friend," I replied. We stood up, brushing dirt from the stairs off of our clothing. "Would you like to come over for dinner?"
Bri shook her head. "I don't think my parents would let me. I'm kinda grounded," she explained. I nodded. She walked me around the side of the house the front yard, then hugged me quickly. "Thanks for coming to visit me. It-it means a lot... to me."
"Anytime," I replied. I stepped away, then paused and turned back. "I'm glad you're home."
"Okay, what's up?" she asked. I gave her a funny look.
"Nothing, why?"
"Something is wrong. What's bothering you?"
I shook my head, then reached for the silverware drawer. "Here, let me help you," I insisted, trying to change the subject. I pulled out a handful of forks and knives.
"Don't even try to get away with that answer; it doesn't work with me. You're forgetting that I have 6 and a half children," Diana reminded me, resting her hands on her swelling abdomen. I laughed.
"Six and a half?" I grinned at her. Diana laughed also. "No really, nothing is seriously wrong. I got in a little argument with a friend. That's all. No biggie."
"It wasn't any of my boys, was it?" asked Diana curiously, gently easing herself onto one of the kitchen chairs. She motioned for me to sit next to her and I did.
"Oh no, of course not," I assured her. "It's Bri."
"Brianna Conoran? What happened?"
"It's just that..." I paused. "She's changed so much during her time in New York. She's changed a lot. I don't think that things are going to be the same anymore."
"I think this is natural," Diana thought out loud.
"Natural?"
"Yes. As adolescents grow and mature, their interests and ideas change from time to time and after certain experiences. Unfortunately, those who were friends before don't always change to suit the friendship," Diana explained. "It might be better if you stop putting so much pressure on the friendship and let it take its own course. It might go the way you want it, it might not. Whatever the outcome, there are always people out there with the same interests as you. You just have to look."
I sighed, smiling. "You don't believe how incredibly easier that's said than done," I replied. Diana nodded and patted my knee.
"It will be hard, but you just have to be patient. You're a strong girl, you'll get past this."
"I sure hope you're right," I told her. Diana grinned, carefully standing up.
"And when am I ever not?"