The headlines indicate much of society is in turmoil --especially here in
America. The pace of work has accelerated to a degree that few people know
how to find time and space for themselves, for introspect and reflection.
Add to this the special stress of a holiday season, and you have the
ingredients for a lot of misery for a large segment of our population.
It is sad that at a season intended for peace on earth and good will toward
men, there is an increase in domestic and workplace hostilities, a lot of
feelings swept under the rug for the sake of peace only to explode later.
Communities are stunned by so-called role models of civic achievement who
suddenly bail out of the game of life in a micro-second.
I believe sometimes anger is triggered by assumptions on both sides and
by forgetting mutually that people are human. If in the course of human
events, I fail to allow you space to be human -- I am headed for huge
disappointments from time to time.
If in that process, I am introverted enough to think your choice or
expression was triggered by something I did, then (depending on the
length of my patience and temperment "thermostat") the stage is set for
some fireworks.
Many of us hold dear some beliefs, that work for us; that we are
convinced should be universal truths. Unfortunately, many of us think we
are acting on divine providence to spoonfeed these "truths" to everyone
we see.
Reminds me of the "story" circulating about a preacher who took a fellow
down to the river to be baptized -- but seemed to have doubts about the
sincerity of his parishioner. So he dunked the man under water three
times -- each time holding him longer -- until in the end, the man
emerged, flailing his arms, gasping for air, spitting up water, and visibly
about to turn blue. When the preacher asked the third time: "Do you
believe?" the response was "I do believe you're trying to drown me!"
Our job is to provide the water...and point the way, but even God himself
will not and does not force anyone to drink. Like another thread
mentioned, integrity, love, character, et.al., has to come from within and
can be taught, but not imparted.
Can you imagine what a teacher, a preacher, a parent, or any so-called
mentor of society feels after they have provided all they can, directed all
they can, and finally watch as students, parishioners, children and
proteges file out of the forum and head into the open world?
If I rest assured that I did all that I could, then it is not up to me to
assume anger and judgement on another for "letting me down" or ending
up on the trashheap of life.
In a business setting, I must divorce myself from the emotions involved
when I decide that a contract, an employee, an expense or purchase, or
any arrangement must be changed, amended, hired, fired or terminated.
If I cannot make a sound judgement without "looking over my shoulder,"
"operating out of fear," or any other emotional feelings, then perhaps I am
not fit for making management decisions.
There is a parallel in parental settings as well. If you are "beating up on
the kid" in anger instead of following through on a soundly advise method
of discipline -- then your behavior is far out of line with societal and
spiritual principle. It draws the attention of the youngster to "pull your
string" just to get attention in that abusive manner, than to direct the
child to walk the straight and narrow.
I can love
employees, church members, colleagues, students, friends -- even a
stranger. The love expressed in each category falls at a different level,
and so may also the anger. But anger in a business setting serves
nothing more than to "inflame" rather than inspire -- and that, dear
friends, is a problem whether you are the victim or perpetrator
-- HartKeeper