I opened my eyes just to be greeted by the blinding rays of the sun. I instinctively shut them again, wishing that the light would go away for just one moment. I hated mornings. I never liked them actually. You'd probably hate them too if you know there's nothing to look forward to for the day. I laid there, immobile for about a few more minutes before finally opening my eyes. The blinding flash of colors almost made me want to close them again, but then, if I do that, I would've fallen back to dreamland.
I stared at the ceiling, letting my eyes get used to the light dawning in the room. Then, the unfamiliarity of the place suddenly seeped through me. I bolted up and started looking around. It was a bad idea. My head started spinning immediately because of the sudden movement. I let my head fall back into the soft pillows and comforter. I noticed they were white and much softer than the blue ones I had at home. Shit, where am I? I tried remembering where I was and how the hell I ended up there.
"So, you're finally awake." Came a feminine voice from my left side. I turned to see who it was. "I've been waiting forever for you to wake up!" The voice was soft and pale, yet there was this unmistakable power to it. I sat halfway up and looked at the direction of the voice, then I saw her. She was sitting on a chair beside the bed. Her dark brown hair cascading over her shoulders then down her back. She had the most interesting set of deep green eyes. The kind that had the capacity to see right through you and decipher your very mind and soul. I just had to turn away from her gaze for a second, afraid that she was absently reading my mind. I heard her sigh, then she eased out on the chair, still looking at me.
"Good afternoon by the way." She said. I turned to her, once again captivated by the gleam of her eyes. She was smiling and she had a very unusual way of curving up her thin lips. I could've smiled back, if my splitting headache would've allowed me to. Wait, did I hear her right? Afternoon? I shot her a questioning look. In response, she looked at her wristwatch and nodded. "Yup, it's 3 p.m." She looked at me again. "Jane." She said, extending her hand. Again, I gave her a puzzled look.
I must've looked silly 'cause she had this wide grin on her face as she repeated her statement. "My name's Jane Walsh." I smiled at this and reached for her hand. "Daniel Johns" I said, my voice sounding harsher than what I had expected it to be. She shook my hand gently, then just held it in her palms, stroking my knuckles with her thumb. Her touch was soft and almost sincere. I could've stayed there holding her hand. But then she drew it away from me. She stood up from the chair and stretched.
I noticed that she was wearing a classic-looking blouse, complete with the ruffled-up front. That type of clothing would've looked terrible on somebody else, but then it suited her perfectly. With it, she was wearing a black skirt with frilled ends. She started picking up some objects on the floor, then sat down on the empty space on the bed beside me. I watched as she put her boots on. She had this certain awkwardness in her movements, which almost didn't fit her sophisticated figure. "Damn boots." I heard her curse.
Then it started to dawn on me, I didn't even fucking know her. I didn't even know how I ended up with her. I sat all the way up carefully as not to strain my already aching head. I rubbed my eyes, thinking that by doing it would somehow bring back some small scraps of memories from last night. Then finally, I remembered pieces of it… I remembered after I had my dose of skag, I went down to the party again. Then, Jed introduced me to her and we just started talking about things varying from space science to pyramids. And somehow, in the contrary of me being stoned at that time, I found her pretty interesting. And so one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together. "Damn" I cursed aloud.
I felt her touch my face. I looked up to her, her face contoured into a serious look. "You're not regretting last night, are you?" she asked, the tone of sincerity never leaving her voice. Her deep green eyes were completely transfixed on mine. This time, I haven't had the power to turn away from her gaze. Then, like as if I were in a trance, I simply shook my head 'no'. How could I anyway, I just slept with the most beautiful being on this part of the world.
"Good" she smiled. Her fingers were tracing the curve of my face, then they lingered down to settle on the tip of my chin. I simply closed my eyes and waited for what was going to happen. I felt her soft fingers lightly touch the tip of my mouth; then finally, she pressed her lips against mine, sending electricity-like waves through my body. We shared a short and delicate kiss. Just when I was about to kiss her back, she pulled away. In her wake, she left a sweet taste lingering on my mouth. I could've sworn it was the taste of blueberry. Probably her lip gloss or something. I opened my eyes slowly and saw her already standing up. I just stared at her in disbelief as she got her purse and her keys from the bedside table.
"Again, it's been nice meeting you." She got my hand and shook it lightly, slipping a yellow piece of paper into my open palms. She nicked a dark blue jacket that was hanging on the chair and swung it behind her back. Without even looking back at me, she strutted her way to the door. "See you around." She said, before opening it and disappearing from my sight.
I didn't know how long I sat there, staring at the door and wondering if she'd return and at least say something about herself. Suddenly, I felt a sharp coldness wrap around me. It could've been my imagination again. Or perhaps the intense feeling of being abandoned got to my head somehow and is making my whole body react. I didn't know what I should feel or what I should do exactly. I just sat there, blankly staring at the door. Should I have run after her? Should I just forget about the whole thing and pretend that nothing ever happened? Will I see her again? Should I start moving out of this goddamn bed before I freeze to death?
I stood up, realizing that the unfamiliar sheets of the bed caused more feeling of emptiness and coldness rather than supply warmth. I looked at the piece of paper she had placed on my hand. She had scribbled her name and her phone number on it. I perked up a bit. There was hope for me after all. I started picking up my clothes scattered around the floor and dressed up. I almost had the sentiment of wanting to take a quick shower, but instead, I let her sweet scent linger around me for a while, at least 'til I get home.
I sighed at the sight of the rumpled sheets and pillows. And in order to show some a least bit of courtesy, I tried fixing the bed, folding the sheets and propping up the pillows. I took one last glance at the room, rechecking the place if I left something important. Not wanting to stay there a minute longer, I quickly headed for the door to the hallway. I thought it would be hard for me to look for the way out of that place but then I just followed the hall, and on the end of it was the spinning DNA-like staircase.
I started making my way down with great care. Dammit. Good thing there was not a soul around or they would've laughed their heads off at the sight of me clinging onto the balustrade as if it were my life. I finally made it to the ground floor, then I easily walked towards the living room. I heard a few voices ahead of me and as I stepped into the room, I was quite surprised that there were still a number of people hanging around the place. I scanned the room for Jane and saw her sitting on a lounge chair talking to a few people. I didn't think she noticed me though.
I stood near the doorway that connected the living room to the hallway and I just stared at her. She was laughing at some joke she shared with the small group she had. Again, her lips were curved up into that unusual smile. I've never seen anyone smile that perfect before. Or maybe I was overreacting again. I knew that nothing's perfect, but the longer I stared at her, the harder it became for me to believe that statement. I never stared at a person as intently as what I was doing. I didn't even notice Jed come up to me.
"You like her?" he asked. I guess I was too busy admiring Jane that I didn't mind his arrogance this time. I just kept quiet and continued staring. I heard him gibe at me and from the corner of my eye, I saw him shake his head. He lighted a cigarette before he continued talking.
"She's a fine woman, ain't she?" he took a long drag and paused. When I didn't react or anything, he spoke again. "Pretty smart too, you know? Helps out with lawsuits and legal items and shit like that. She would've been a good lawyer too if she hadn't quit law school…" This suddenly caught my attention. He noticed me looking at him and he returned that look with a shrug. "Well, life has a way of creeping up behind your back and slapping your face with problems. She's a pretty troubled girl, you know?" We both looked at her. She was still sitting with her small group, sporting her beautiful smile. It wasn't flirty neither the deliberate type of smile. It was simple really, but there was just something in it that designedly captivates anyone that would look at her. It was almost hard to believe that a girl like her would have problems.
I realized I was drifting away again with my thoughts. I shook myself back to reality then hesitantly pulled my gaze away from Jane. "Um… I have to go." I told Jed.
"Got the skag?" He asked. I almost forgot all about that. "I'll get it." he volunteered and disappeared into the hallway . I just stood there on that same spot. And continued staring at Jane. Then for one brief moment, our eyes met. She smiled at me then continued talking with the company she was with. Jed came back with a cloth in hand.
"It's in there." He said as he handed it to me. God, I feel like I was in some mobster movie. Everything had to be kept under wraps. Well, I guess that's the price you'd always have to pay in putting yourself into such illegal situations. I began to wonder how Jed keeps this up, and why exactly does he want to keep up this business. He's rich and he obviously doesn't need the money he gets from selling these things.
"Thanks," I said. "It was a cool party." He led me halfway to the front door before some friend of him dragged him off to the kitchen counter. He waved goodbye to me as I nodded at him. I passed by the area where Jane was seated. I thought she looked at me, but then maybe not.
I exited the house, somehow thankful that I was finally out of there. The lavishness of the place was becoming too… extrusive for me. Maybe I'm just an utterly backward kind of guy who's quite contented with simple and almost cheap thrills in life. Or maybe, I was just homesick, which reminded me, Sweep had not eaten the whole day!
I looked at my wrist expecting that I have my watch with me. I let out a disappointed sigh before I headed for my car, which was parked some tolerable ten meters away.
Sweep was barking and yapping uncontrollably once I entered the house. I dropped my keys and the cloth-covered smack on the counter, kicked off my shoes and headed for the kitchen to feed her. I still had that splitting headache although it didn't hurt that much as before. But Sweep's constant yapping only made it worse. It took me all my strength not to hit her.
I finally made her settle down by giving her twice as much dog food as she was supposed to have. It was probably the right thing to do anyway since she hasn't had any breakfast or lunch. "Sorry girl." I whispered as I patted her ear while she was eating. Knowing Sweep, she wasn't the kind of dog that would snap at you if you disturb them while eating.
For me though, the thought of food entering my body was almost made me nauseous. Instead, I picked up a glass from the counter and filled it up with cold water. I guess that was about enough to fill my empty stomach. I placed the glass down on the sink. Then I heard Sweep noisily chomp away her food, which made me laugh. I left her in the kitchen and went out to the living room.
It was still the same way as I left it, cluttered and in disarray. The dinner table down to the area below it was overflowing with pieces of paper with my almost unrecognizable handwriting. I was trying to finish this goddamn song. I was already on the point of writing some chords for it, but then halfway through, I just gave up on it. Lack of inspiration, as some people would put it.
I remember promising Ben and Chris that I would be able to come up with a couple of songs by the end of the month. But I'm just so weak emotionally to be able to put together a single song. Maybe it's the stupid drugs. They've clouded up my mind and made me almost apathetic. I really should stay away from them, but I think my body won't survive without it.
Some force made me look at the counter where the loot of drugs was. At the very back of my mind, I knew that continuing it is almost like committing suicide. Yet a stronger part of me doesn't want to believe that fact. I needed it. It had not negatively affected me in any major way, for now. It seemed just right that I continue this. I know that it'll eventually take its toll on me, but not now, not in the near future.
Damn, I needed some sort of distraction. I sat down on
the blue sofa and reached for the remote and switched
on the set.
Ah, the wonders of cable television. I eased back on
the chair and tried to relax. I flipped through the
channels before settling with some scrimpy movie. The
casting down to the musical score was badly done.
Firstly, who would cast a leukemia-infected Marilyn
Manson replica to play the role of a father? And the
script, dammit, the script had got to be the screwiest
script ever written. I don't even know why I was
watching it.
I've completely lost track of time. I tend to do that when my eyes are practically attached to the television. The small digital clock on top of the stereo told me it was already 7 p.m.. I walked towards my guitar and picked up a paper and a pen. This'll probably be the right time to get a song done. I went back to the couch and started strumming a few chords, when the phone suddenly caught my attention. I took out the yellow paper Jane had given me and unfolded it.
Should I call her? Would she even want to talk to me? My thoughts were almost audible. I placed the piece of paper down in front of me and took hold of my guitar again. I was absently playing my version of 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' on it, while having my eyes glued to her number. I would've memorized it if I stared at it a minute longer. I sighed. There's absolutely nothing to lose if I tried calling her, right? I picked up the phone and started pushing in her number. I set a mental note that if she wouldn't pick up after five rings then I'll place the receiver down, throw the damn piece of paper, and forget everything that happened the other night.
Third ring came and still nobody was picking up on the other end of the line. Fourth ring, and I was already about to put the receiver down when I heard someone answer it.
"Hello." Came the familiar voice.
"Yeah, hi… Jane?" I staggered. There was a pause before she finally spoke up.
"Yeah, Daniel?" she asked, her voice mimicking the typical sing-song tone when asking a question.
"Yes, hi… um… I'm not disturbing you or anything am I?" I asked, hoping that she didn't notice the desperation in my voice.
"No, no, not at all… I just got out of the shower and… anyway, what's up?"
"Nothing much. Just bored to death." I heard her laugh because of my remark. Cute. I could almost picture her smiling at the other end of the line.
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