Smashing Young Man

based on the song by Collective Soul (music & lyrics by Ed Roland)


Author's Notes: "Smashing Young Man" is written from
both Heero and Duo's points of view. It takes place at Yodobashi High School
beginning the day that the fic "The Kumi" ends. It might be easier
to understand if you have already read, "The Kumi."

Key for punctuation:"..." - character
dialogue

/.../ - character thoughts

italics- song lyrics

*********************************************************

1:45pm - Heero and Duo's Dorm Room

A beggar's descriptionOf what I've
been missingExploit your positionDon't think
I didn't listenHey I hope you're feeling A
little better now...

On the edge of consciousness, Duo kissed Heero.

It began as a chaste kiss, one of affection and respect, born of happiness
and bestowed with immense liking. /Something about you, man... so many layers
here... all kinds of messages you've been sending... you've been looking
when you thought I wasn't... been talking to me, late at night, when I'm
supposed to be asleep.../

The kiss was broken off by Heero, who pulled away and turned his back
on Duo. But he didn't leave. He should have - perfect moment for it - but
he didn't. Just stood there, acting aloof, and Duo was treated to the sight
of his body trembling... but from what? Anger... embarrassment... passion?
It was time to speak to the scowling boy.

/Yeah, you - a glare of death on an angel's face - you're the one. I'm
not looking to ruin your life or get in the way... I just want... I want
to be close to someone... like you. No, that's not entirely truthful. I
want to be close to *you*... So, call me a masochist. Probably right. Can't
help it, though, it's how I feel. And if I'm not mistaken, you felt something
just then too, eh? Now don't lie to me... Mr. Tough Guy Yuy... you're not
working alone anymore, remember?/

Duo moved to kiss the stern pilot again and was shoved back, held at
arm's length from what he wanted so much. Giving up, he turned to leave
and was caught up short, a sharp pain coming from his scalp. He looked back.
Heero Yuy was still glaring at him - the expression hasn't changed. But
now he also had ahold of Duo's braid, the last six inches of it curled into
one tight fist.

/Give me a break, man. Which way is it? Or is it really both? Geez, you
know how much I'll put up with, don't you.../

Duo was about to suggest that Heero pull a caveman on him and drag him
off to be ravished when a small sound, imperceptible to most people, left
him lying on his bed, wide awake, and very, very frustrated.

Success is so tragicPain is your gadgetYour tongue is just lashingJust bitching by
habit 

Heero approached the door to the room cautiously. He
was the only one in the hallway, so if the device he'd spotted attached
to their mailbox was an explosive, only he would be injured or killed.

/And Duo, of course. If he's in the room. Don't be in that room, Duo...
Then again, why should I care?/

Very softly, he made his way closer, crouching along the floor of the
hallway. The thing wasn't any explosive he'd ever seen before, which meant
that it could be sound, or heat, or pressure activated. The greatest of
care was needed if he was to get close enough to have a chance at cutting
it off.

/How the hell did someone get that far with it? How did they know we
were here? God - what if they've already got Du- Get ahold of yourself Yuy.
Don't worry about bakas that get themselves caught. Only the mission is
important. Focus on that. As long as you're alive you can carry out the
mission./

Finally, he found himself within a few inches of the mailbox. All that
was needed now was to hold his breath and stand, so that he could see what
kind of device he was up against. He breathed in deeply and pushed himself
up, bring the entire device into view.

Just then, the door opened abruptly and Duo walked out into the hall.
Heero felt the world click into slow motion as he made a leap, smacking
the device down to the end of the hall as he did so, and pushing Duo down
to the floor on his back. He covered the stunned American with his body
burying his own face in the boy's silky hair. His right cheek pressed against
Duo's as he covered both of their heads with his arms.

Silence. Absolute and unrelenting silence. Then footsteps, coming towards
them, and a polite male voice.

"Um... does this belong to one of you?"

Heero looked up from where he lay on top of Duo and saw a well-manicured
hand holding the device just centimeters from his face. It was a small action
figure, one of those transportation toys that converted to a battle robot.
In the tiny articulated fingers, the robot gripped a small note. It read,
"Oi, Howard-kun. Call me! - Oyamada"

Heero glared at the offending toy, then down at the slender, braided
pilot squirming beneath him. He stood abruptly, crossing his arms in front
of him, never taking his eyes off of the long-haired baka who had obviously
caused all the trouble.

Duo stood up and took the small figure from the other boy and waved at
him as the upperclassman continued down the hallway to his own room. "Thanks,
Miyashita-senpai!" He looked over at Heero and then recoiled theatrically
at the glare he was being given. "Yikes, Heero - so much fuss over
a toy? How the heck do you act when there really *is* danger, man? Or maybe
you thought this little guy was gonna come after ya, eh? Watch out! Watch
out!" He made feints towards Heero holding out the figure, a gleam
of mischief in his violet eyes.

"Stop it, baka!" Heero growled, not before taking a few healthy-sized
steps back from Duo and his toy.

Duo was laughing loudly now. "Heero you should have seen your face!
That was hilarious! Maybe we should show this guy to the scientists. Imagine
what *they* could do with him!" He went of on another fit of giggles.
When he had composed himself he winked mischievously at Heero and murmured,
"Besides, Heero - it you want to jump me just say so. But just use
the bed next time, 'kay? It's kinda public out here, ya know and, sheesh
that floor is *haaard*", he whined, rubbing the back of his head. He
gave Heero a sly wink and the Japanese boy turned the full force of the
death glare on him, though to his credit he said nothing in reply to the
outrageous American.

Still giggling, Duo looked back down at the toy, and the note in it's
hands. "Hah! It's from Oyamada-kun!**
Shoulda known it. I'm gonna give him a call." With that Duo headed
inside. Heero followed and closed the dorm room door behind them.

/Damned fool. What if your Mr. Cool Oyamada was really from the Federation?
Would you be laughing then? No. You'd be dead. I might be too. *Idiot!*/

Duo was already by the small comm unit, talking. "It's great! I
love it! Yeah, it's very *you*, Oyamada, *very* you!"

Heero sat down at the laptop. It would be better to find out now, hours
ahead of time, if there were any significant changes in their mission protocol.
He didn't like surprises, especially when the success of a mission was at
stake.

Hey I hope you're feelingA little
purer now

He was finding it very difficult, however, to *not* listen
to Duo's side of the conversation with Oyamada Kenji, a boy in their kumi
who had latched onto Duo immediately. Within a day the two of them seemed
to have become best friends, much to Heero's consternation.

/I don't mind that he's not *my* friend. Hell, I'm not *looking* for
any friends. It's just that he's so damn popular... it's not good. He's
too visible... I wonder if he could blend in with the crowd to save his
life.../

Faint whisper, far away. /He'll never do that... never... he's too unique,
too beautiful, too full of life... he was made to stand out... /

"What, *now*?" Duo was saying. "Well, Heero and I have
basketball scrimmage at 3, but... I guess I could just go to practice from
there... 'kay - see you in 5."

Duo turned to Heero, just quickly enough to make a flash of silky braid
fly out behind him. For some unfathomable reason, the sight made Heero's
heart pound.

/Hmmm... so silky, moving over my fingertips... /

/SHUT UP/

Far, far down in the prison cell, and blind boy with a very disturbed
mind sat and remembered and talked to his warden.

/... it's still here, you know, that feeling... ever since that night...
been throbbing in my fingers... feels so warm, wherever I touch myself...
like *he's* touching me... /

/SHUT UP YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BASTARD!!!/ The soldier wouldn't tolerate
this drivel today.

/Hmm... can't hurt me anymore... not down here... you've already done
your worst, why should I be afraid of you? .../

The soldier started planning. /Losing control. Something drastic has
to happen because we're losing control. Of him./

Hey I hope you're feelingSecurer now

Heero looked up at his room mate, as if coming out of
a fog. Duo had been speaking and now was looking at Heero as if he'd asked
a question. "W-what?" Heero managed.

"I said, I'm going to meet Oyamada-kun and then I'll see you at
the game. Is that okay?" Duo was already halfway to the door, his arm
out for the door handle, smiling at him.

"Hn." He nodded slightly. When the door was closed he added,
"Not that anything I say would stop you." He stood up and stretched,
intending to sit right back down and look for messages before he had to
go out again. But he found himself strangely pulled to Duo's side of the
room. By the comm unit, the little robot figure stood. Heero looked at it,
a scowl on his face, then walked over and picked it up. The small card in
the figure's hands was reversible, but Duo hadn't turned it around yet.
Heero did so, almost absentmindedly and saw the writing on the back. "You're
the best, Howard-kun. May I call you Duo?" Fondly, Kenji (Oyamada).

/Oyamada. It's been non-stop Oyamada around here. Oyamada at breakfast,
Oyamada dragging him off at lunch, Oyamada sitting with us at dinner. Now,
Oyamada leaving little scent marks on him... Damn it, Yuy just get ahold
of yourself. Who cares if that bastard has a crush on him! Just watch out.
The minute that braided baka does *anything* to endanger the mission, he's
gone./

***

"Oi, Duo! Over here!" Duo turned around, surprised to hear
his first name being called. /Guess I've been in Japan too long... / he
thought, walking towards the smiling boy under the willow.

"Hey, Oyamada-kun. Howzit goin'?"

"Didn't you read the note on the robot?" Oyamada asked. "The
back?"

"Sorry, didn't have time. What was on the back?" Duo stretched
out underneath the long willow leaves. The feeling of them brushing past
him in the wind was wonderful.

"Call me Kenji, okay? And... can I call you Duo?" He looked
over at Duo expectantly.

"Sure. That's my name, *Kenji.* Duo grinned at the dark-haired Japanese
boy beside him. "This is one very cool place - how did you find it?"
he asked as he looked around the huge tree they sat under.

"Oh, this is nothing - come inside!"

"Inside?" Duo gave a puzzled look and jumped up to follow Kenji
and he slipped between long willow branches.

Help me I pleaI don't understandYour ways and your meansYou smashing young man

The message was coded in the normal way. He had read
it twice, just for extra caution, then deleted it. The job would have to
be postponed for another two nights. Federation moles were expected to be
working late in the computer lab tonight and tomorrow night. They would
appear to be honors students working on theses, but would actually be transferring
data on materiel shipments from one backup system to another. It was a beautiful
cover - that's why the schools had been such a good idea for the Feds.

/Two more nights. Two more days of waiting around, with that base just
across the straight. I could take it out by myself it he'd give the word.
But he hasn't so I just wait. Too much extra time. The most dangerous thing
to a soldier isn't a weapon. It's free time./

Heero stared at his computer screen. No one was here. Duo was off with
that guy - /having the time of his life, no doubt. Hn. Calls himself a soldier./

But it felt false. The more Heero tried to find fault with the American's
soldiering skills, the more he realized he didn't have a leg to stand on.
Duo was good at what he did. He could break into any room, was fearless
in battle, and could pilot his gundam better than anyone Heero had ever
seen.

/And if the long-haired baka thinks I'm ever going to tell him that then
he's crazier than I think he is.

/I don't get him... why he acts the way he does. Always happy. But I
know there's more to him than that. What could possibly be going on in that
head of his? Running around laughing like this is some sort of video game.
And that hospital thing. Idiot could have gotten us both killed... but he
came in and got me out of there... why? I don't understand it and that really
bothers me... don't like things I don't understand... don't much like *him.*/

A little closer now, /Liar./

It was a quarter to three. /Better go find him./

*****

"Wow! This is so cool!" Duo kept turning around, to see the
green world he had stepped into. He was feeling a little dizzy, and Kenji
was laughing at him. "Seriously, man, how did you find this place?"

"There's a willow outside the place we go to in the summer. I spent
about half my childhood inside that thing, so when I saw this one, well
- I knew I had to stake it out! There's a bigger one on the south end of
the quad, but the sempais use that one to make out with their girlfriends."
Kenji grinned and dropped down to the grass, pulling Duo down beside him.
"This one's just for me."

Duo grinned slyly over at the other boy and stretched out on his back.
"So you can make out with all of *your* girlfriends, huh?"

Kenji didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "Oh, no... I'm not
into... that kind of stuff. Are- are you?" Duo looked over to see the
other boy's stricken face.

"Girls? They're okay, I guess; pretty fun. Some of the girls here
are really cute." Kenji had gone silent and Duo touched his arm to
get his attention back. "So, you haven't gone out with any of them
yet?"

"I... I don't go out with girls, Duo." He had stretched out
beside the gundam pilot, his belly to the ground, resting on his elbows.
"I... I was never much one for girls."

Duo's eyes were closed in happy comfort. "Ah, just give it time,
man. Another month or so and they'll be swarming all over you, trust me."
With his eyes closed, Duo couldn't see the frustration building in the dark-haired
boy beside him. Kenji scowled and yanked at the grass.

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying, Duo," he said
tensely.

"Eh?" Duo cracked an eye open to look at the other boy/

"I... I... I like... guys. Instead of girls." The admission
hung between them in the warm, green air and Kenji looked closely at Duo,
trying to judge his reaction.

"Oh, that's cool!" Duo remarked, casually. "There's some
really cute guys here, too!" He grinned up at Kenji, meeting the stare
with a kind look of his own.

"Who... who do you think is cute? I mean... which of the guys?"

"Well, there's Minami-senpai, he's got great hair, and Mitamura-kun,
too - what a body-"

"Duo!" Kenji blurted out, then hung his head.

Duo felt confused. /What does this guy want? It seems like everything
I say is wrong.../

Kenji was trying to speak again. "Duo... do you... I mean what do
you... ahh, why is this so hard!" Obviously frustrated, the dark-haired
boy put his head down on his arms for a moment. Duo reached over and gave
his arm a light punch.

"Hey! What's up? You got somethin' to say? Just say it!" Kenji
lifted his head from his arms and looked at his new friend. His face was
serious and Duo's grin faded. "What is it, man? Something wrong? You
can tell me - we're friends."

A long, intense stare into violet eyes and then, "What about me?
Do you... think about me... that way?"

/Whoa - what's this feeling... spreading out all over me, something warm...
exciting... Oyamada? Cute? Well... yeah... he is... I really like being
with him... and... his eyes are beautiful - so dark... his hair like black
silk.../

He tried to speak but could only manage, "Kenji..."

"Duo..." Kenji whispered, reaching out to stroke the American's
cheek. "Duo..."

He leaned over and, very softly, kissed Duo's lips.

A shock went through Duo's body at the feel of the other boy's mouth
on his. He had forgotten how worked up the dream about Heero had left him
and now all of it came rushing back, leaving him trembling and weak. Kenji
pulled back for a moment and the two boys stared at each other. "Kenji,
I..." Duo began but before he could say anything more, two soft fingers
were on his lips.

"Ssshh... you don't have to say anything. Just... can I... can I
do that again?"

Dark, almond eyes staring down into his... lips so close, and warm...
warmer than he'd imagined... the look on that softly handsome face - so
much desire...

/For me. He really wants me. It's not me begging... or selling... *he*
wants *me*.../

He heard himself make some undecipherable sound that Kenji took as an
assent and the next thing he knew they were kissing again. Soft, at first,
so very soft - exploring each other's lips, experimenting with pressure
and length, leaving each other a little breathless. Then Kenji more insistent
- pulling himself up, so that he half-lay with one arm by Duo's head, the
other cradling the braided boy's cheek, one leg between Duo's thighs.

Duo felt his body respond to the other boy's gentle touches, the softly
insistent kisses, and the breath against his ear, murmuring his name. He
let his head fall back, loving the feel of Kenji's mouth against his neck,
the warm, curious hands trailing down his chest.

/How did this happen?... One minute I'm teasing him... and the next...
this... ohhhhh... shouldn't be... not part of the mission... but it feels
so good.../

Help me to seeThe good you have plannedYou're wearing thinYou smashing young man

Heero had looked everywhere he knew Duo to been in the
past 2 days, but the American pilot just wasn't to be found. It was five
minutes until practice time. They didn't need more scrutiny because that
idiot couldn't be anywhere on time.

/ Hn. Just like an American. /

He stopped at center of the quad, and scanned the wide green area. No
sight of a long, chestnut braid. He was about to turn back when he heard
what he thought was Duo's name being said. It had come from the moderate-sized
willow to his left. He moved a couple of it's long branches to the side
and saw something he really didn't want to see.

Duo. Oyamada. Together.

Someone snapping to attention. /Very together. Damn, what's wrong with
that guy! Why would he do something like this? What kind of soldier was
he?/

Someone else falling to the cold cell floor. /Why? Why is he letting
someone *else* do that to him? What about me? WHAT ABOUT ME?? LET ME OUT!
LET ME OUT!! I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM!! I HAVE TO TELL HIM!! I DON'T WANT HIM
DOING THAT I DON'T WANT THAT OTHER ONE THERE I HAVE TO TELL HIM LET ME OUT
LET ME OUT LET ME OUT!!!/

Heero stood absolutely still in confusion. Someone, somewhere inside
of him was raging. Was screaming to be released. It was frightening to hear
him, so Heero put his hands over his ears until the soldier raised the butt
of the rifle and ended the screaming - for now.

Now Heero could feel anger, but the angry part of him just couldn't admit
that most of this anger had nothing to do with the mission. "Duo!"
he said, in the soldier's voice. "The game." And with that he
dropped the branches he'd been holding and stood by the tree, his arms crossed,
his face closed.

Duo came out a few moments later. There had been some whispers and a
few giggles before that, but Duo was here, looking somewhat disheveled and
very sheepish. "Heh heh - Heero! How'd you know where I was?"

Heero grabbed the obviously unrepentant Duo by the shirt sleeve and began
walking towards the gym. He couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't
make him sound stupid or jealous, so he said nothing.

"Heero?" Duo was half-running to keep up with Wing's pilot
and not have his shirt torn. "You, uh... seem a little edgy... more
so... than usual..." They were heading into the dressing rooms now.
"Ya wanna talk about it? Whatever's... bothering you?"

Heero had found a deserted part of the dressing room and closed it's
communicating door into the main room. He released Duo against a bank of
black, two-tiered lockers and stared at the American, the soldier's eyes
burning into the other boy as if they were beam weapons. He tried not to
say the words. He tried so hard. But Duo had crossed the line once too often
and they came out, now, harsh and jealous and biting, a strange mix of the
soldier's anger and the boy's possessiveness.

"What the hell do you think you were doing with that guy?"
he said, his voice low and threatening. " *I'm* your partner on this
mission. You're supposed to be with *me.* No one else, just *me.* So tell
that bastard to keep his hands off of you, or I will." He stared fiercely
into Duo's eyes for several more moments, then slammed his fist into the
locker next to the other pilot's head and started to walk away.

Duo took only a moment to recover. "Hey! Who gave you permission
to tell me what I can and can't do when the mission doesn't require it?
My jobs are to 1 - get us into that computer room so that you can do your
job, and 2 - to take out that base when they tell us to. As long as I do
my job effectively what business is it of yours who I'm with or what I'm
doing with him?"

Completely in control now, the Soldier spun around to face Duo, his eyes
blazing, fists clenched. "What good are you to me?" he hissed.
"You'll never be a soldier if you keep acting this way. You're pathetic"
Still glaring, he turned and headed for his locker to change for the game.

Duo called after him. "Yeah? Well you'll never be a human being
if you keep acting the way you do." He looked down at his boots and
tried to frown, only to have it came out as a pout. Hands on his hips, he
kicked the nearest locker door lightly and swore under his breath.

"Jerk."

*****

You preach synthetic-likePeace is
an oversightIt's nothing to igniteYour self-lit
spotlight 

/I wish he'd have been on the other team./

Unknown to both of them, their thoughts were identical for once. There
was anger between them, and hurt, though they wouldn't have admitted it.
And each felt he'd be much more effective at taking on the other, rather
than having to cooperate. But having a shared enemy does wonders for those
who don't get along, and by the game's half-way point, Duo was back to his
cheerful self, teasing Heero while giving him wonderful opportunities at
the basket.

As for Heero, he found himself inexplicably drawn to the braided whirlwind
who could wriggle away from defenders a good 6 inches taller than and almost
twice as heavy as himself. Duo was the master of the quick escape, the change-up,
and could sneak up on any boy without him hearing a thing.

/Hn. Plays basketball like he pilots... all smoke and mirrors...until
he's ready.../

The time clock was running out, and Nakamura-kun had passed the ball
to Duo. He brought it down the court like lightning, whirling out of the
grasp of a couple of big defenders. Then, as he looked up, he saw Heero
staring at him, his eyes intensely blue, the expression on his face unreadable.
/He looks so good.../

He passed to Heero and, for a moment, the Japanese boy looked as if he'd
never held a basketball in his life. Duo cursed himself.

/Aw, man! That's what happens when you let your homones make the decisions
for you. Thought the guy would at *least* have the self-respect the *try*,
given that were out in front of all these people. But no, he's got that
why-did-you-do-that-Maxwell-you-idiot look on his face again - /

At that moment, almost as if to prove Duo wrong, Heero turned around,
ricocheted the ball off the backboard and took control of it again. The
taller boys gaped at the sight of tiny Heero Yuy jumping to the basket and
grabbing the rim as he sunk the ball.

+++

The fans (especially the girls) were cheering wildly. Duo loped up to
him, grinning from ear to ear. "Nice, Heero," he told the other
pilot in a singsong voice, sounding a lot like the girls on the sidelines.

Heero heard his name being called, over and over again, along with Duo's.
Girls were screaming at them. Actually screaming. He shook his head, ready
to get away, but Duo's hand was on his shoulder, and the long-haired baka
was waving to the screaming girls, who seemed to be eating it up.

"Why don't you wave to them, Heero? Show some appreciation to your
loyal fans!"

"Hn" Heero retorted, shaking off Duo's hand and walking away.

+++

Duo's face registered surprise at first, that anyone could be so rude,
but then his humor got the best of him and he made a face at the tense,
retreating back, his arms up behind him as if he were some dread creature,
readying for attack.

/Oh no! Not the horrible death glare, again! I'm quivering in my sneaks,
Heeee-ro! Such a cold bastard. Damn! I can't believe this guy. Can't take
5 seconds out for fun. Never. No way. Against his religion... Ah, where's
he off to? Now I have to go find him... /

"Duo!"

The long-haired pilot looked around to see Kenji smiling at him from
the sideline. He walked over to where the other boy stood. "So, Kenji
- " he said, grinning sideways at him, "you impressed with my
great speed - my amazing moves, eh?"

"Oh yeah, no question - 'course that other guy did most of the basket
work..."

Duo made as if to swat the laughing Japanese boy. "Hey! Who are
you s'pposed to be worshiping, anyway?"

Kenji looked over at Duo, his grin a bit on the devilish side. "You
gonna let me worship you a bit more? Later tonight maybe?" he said
in a voice just loud enough for Duo.

/Damn, this guy moves fast! But he's... very... *persuasive*... /

Duo was blushing furiously - a state he wasn't at all used to. With his
head ducked he whispered, "Yeah, maybe... we'll see... I gotta... go
find Heero..." Having put some distance between him and his would-be
seducer, he felt he could finally look up again. He grinned at the other
boy. "See ya!" he called and ran off as fast as he could to track
down the elusive pilot of Wing. He looked back once and waved at Kenji,
who still stood near the sideline, smiling, watching him go.

***

Hey I hope you're feelingA little special
nowHey I want to tell youI think you're
special now

+++

He was sitting sideways on a bench, not looking at anything in particular,
when he felt the American beside him again. "There you are," Duo
said amiably.

He looked up to see Duo gazing over to the base across the water, a pleasant
smile on the heart-shaped face. The long, silky braid was gleaming in the
sunshine. In his gym uniform, Duo looked like any other high school kid,
just finishing a good game of ball.

/Well, not *quite* like any other kid. In some ways, Duo Maxwell, you
could never pass for "just your average" anything. There's really
nothing about you that's "average."

/And why... why were you kissing that guy?... why not - I mean, what's
wrong with- /

The soldier inside snapped to attention. That damned boy was speaking
too loudly. Even from the depths of the pit he rotted in, his voice had
come up clear and strong.

"I think transferring around the schools was a good idea."
Duo leaned against the railing and looked out over the water. "Boys
our age are supposed to be in school, after all."

"What are you thinking about?" he asked Duo, unable to take
his eyes off the beautiful face, but angry that the American was being so
conspicuous.

Duo chuckled. "I'm just thinking, as usual."

Heero leaned forward and whispered, somewhat intimately, "You're
too visible!" A part of him felt as if the words were a plea - /Duo...
don't do anything stupid... anything that might get you hurt.../

"I think it's much more natural for me to be myself than to try
so hard to hide who I am, the way you do." Duo was looking at him now,
that silly grin still on his face. Then he leaned forward, his arms crossed
over his chest, and added, "You should enjoy your childhood, too."

The closeness of the huge violet eyes, the sound of the soft voice felt
like a wave crashing over him. Doing everything he could to pull back, he
stood and told the American, "I'm not like you."

"I know, I know - it's the old 'You're getting in my way again',
right? But you know, Heero - our objectives are the same."

Heero stared at him, not wanting to prolong the close contact, but curious
beyond what he could tolerate.

"Don't try to pretend otherwise. I know you want that base,"
he said nodding almost imperceptibly towards the Fed installation across
the water. And then, softer, "I can see it in your eyes..."

Heero stared at him. /Why do you do this to me? Why do you act like a
clown and then put your finger right on the trigger? You don't know me at
all... don't like the way you can do that.../

"First come, first serve, eh?" Duo said in a low voice. Heero
followed Duo's gaze across the bay to the fortified island not a mile away.

/I'd like to take that one together... Duo.../

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car door slamming shut.
They both turned to see a girl walking towards them slowly.

"Hey, that's -" Duo began.

Heero couldn't believe what he was seeing. What the hell was *she* doing
here? "Relena..."

She took her time walking up to them, all the while pinning him with
an intense gaze. Only after she stopped did she smile, a little self-effacing,
and murmur, "I longed to see you again!"

Heero just waited. He wanted to get away from that potent blue stare,
wanted to grab Duo and get as far away as he could. Somehow, Duo seemed
so much more comfortable a threat that that odd, obsessive girl...

He heard Duo chuckle a little. "Longing to see a boy who wants to
kill her? Strange sort of girl..."

Heero couldn't look into the fierce eyes anymore, and turned away.

+++

***

Duo hurried across the quadrangle in the growing dark, knowing he should
be getting to the camouflaged Shinigami, but needing to keep this one personal
appointment. He reached the willow and hesitated only a moment before sweeping
the branches back and walking into the rich, green gloom.

Kenji was waiting for him.

"Kenji - I can't stay. I -"

"Don't say anything right now, okay?" The other boy walked
up to him, slowly, and slid warm, strong arms around Duo's waist. He was
a little taller than Duo was, and at this distance the gundam pilot had
to tilt his head up a little to look at him. Tugging at the braided boy,
Kenji leaned towards him, their foreheads touching. Duo eyes were suddenly
stinging, and he had to fight back tears he hadn't seen coming at all. They
stayed that way for a long time.

Then Kenji's voice was a warm breath on his cheek. "So you can't
stay, huh? Is it me? And you're just too polite to tell me no? 'Cause I
can take it - really..."

Duo pressed his cheek against Kenji's, feeling the warm, wet tears on
the other boy's face.

/How can I tell you, Kenji, what I'm about to do... You feel safe here,
in your high school world. The hardest thing you've done is tell me how
you feel about me... Not that I'm saying that was easy... but compared to
the prospect of killing a hundred men in the next couple of hours... of
facing a strong possibility of not being alive in that same amount of time...
Kenji - you just can't understand.../

Duo looked up and tried his best to keep his grin in place. "Nah
- it's not you. There's nothing I'd like to do more than spend the evening
here with you..."

/Well, maybe one other thing, but that's flat out impossible so it doesn't
count./

"But... I have to be somewhere. I can't skip out on this one. But
hey - I'll look for you at breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

Kenji's dark eyes were full of the moon, and Duo remembered the softness
of the boy's kiss. The tenderness in his fingers.

/I may not come back from this... May not be alive tomorrow... So, would
it be so bad, to feel that just once more?.../

Their foreheads still touching, Duo reached up and ran his thumb along
Kenji's bottom lip and whispered, "Will you kiss me again? Kenji?"

Starting out, so light... like feathers against his lips. Making him
hungry for more. Then the feeling of arms tightening around him and a mouth
hungry for his. Duo felt a shiver run through him. /Oh, please... let me
live tonight... I don't want to let go of things like this just yet.../

"Here," he whispered, a little breathless, into the darkness.
Keep this for me - until tomorrow." He reached back and pulled his
braid over his shoulders. With one deft movement, he took off the black
cord he used to tie it, put it into Kenji's palm and closed the boy's fingers
over it.

One more secret kiss and Duo turned to go. As he did he heard Kenji whisper
"You'll be there, tomorrow morning - promise?" Duo looked back.
Standing under the willow branches he looked so warm and ordinary - heartbreakingly
ordinary...

"I... I promise," Duo whispered, aware of the enormity of the
vow he'd just made. The next moment, he was gone.

 

***

10:00pm - OZ Materiel Storage Base / JAP Sector

 

"C'mon!! I'll take you both to hell!!"

Duo smirked and swung the glowing beam scythe in a wide, smooth arc through
the center points of the two Leos facing him. For the briefest of moments,
it appeared as if nothing had happened, but Duo knew better.

Waving slender fingers at the vid screen, the small pilot said, "Ooga
Booga!" As if on cue, the top halves of the Leos began to fall. The
explosion, however, made sure they never touched the ground. In a few seconds,
all traces of the Leos and their pilots had vaporized in a tremendous burst
of energy.

The long-haired teenager who's handiwork had brought it all about turned
his elegant machine toward the next group of enemy mobile suits and called
out cheerfully, "Who's next?"

Shinigami had come to OZ.

***

>>Help me I pleaI don't understandYour
ways and your meansYou smashing young man<<

/Oi, where's Heero? I'm starting to think I'll be handling these clowns
alone.../

Just as he finished the thought, Wing blasted it's way through the smoke
and flying debris.

"You're late, Heero. Don't worry - I saved some for you," Duo
chuckled.

The two of them easily cut through the lines of mobile suits defending
the base. Most of them were Leos, a few Aries for air support, but nothing
that could really challenge a gundam with a serious pilot. As a cloud of
thick smoke rose up from several suits that Duo had taken out. Through it,
a lone Leo saw - much too late - the gleaming white gundam. The Leo's pilot
screamed but Heero, sensing the target was nearby, simply stepped Wing right
on top of him, and proceeded forward.

Now the target, a large tower that served as a fuel and materiel storage
facility, was directly in front of him. This was the reason for the mission.
Destroying would put a serious crimp in OZ's ability to supply it's mobile
suits. A group of Aries screamed down from the sky toward his left flank,
but Duo was able to take them out handily. "Lots of new admissions
tonight, eh Shinigami?" the braided pilot cackled with glee.

As Duo advanced toward a pair of Leos threatening from the right, Heero
jetted upwards in Wing and seemed to float, hanging in the air, as he took
aim at the tower. As the gun's beam hit home, the Japanese boy smiled grimly
and breathed, "Mission accomplished."

Heero watched the tower go up, the familiar golden glow of high speed
particle diffusion no longer a source of anxiety or wonder. The intense
moment of satisfaction that came with the successful end of a mission had
passed more quickly than ever. Now he felt empty. Empty and strangely vulnerable.
Perhaps that was why, when Duo's wide grin flickered onto his vid screen,
he found himself whispering the American pilot's name and reaching slowly
toward the monitor to brush his fingers over the other boy's cheek.

/You're all right. All right. Didn't lose you tonight... But tell me,
baka - why do I even care? /

He only consciously realized what he was doing when his fingertips hit
the cold, smooth glass of the monitor. His hand jerked back, as if he'd
touched hot metal.

The world tilted, ever so slightly, and stayed that way.

/What the hell are you doing to me? Why do I feel so... relieved?/

A soft voice startled him - it was so close. How had the boy gotten out
of that cell? How had he crept up behind the soldier without a sound? What
the *hell* was happening...?/

/Of course your relieved. You made it through another battle alive. And
so did *he.*/

The soldier turned on the boy and sneered.

/A good soldier doesn't *care* if he comes out alive. His life is nothing
but a means to achieve the goal. I have never felt relieved that I was alive
and it's not what I'm feeling now./

/Liar... you're grateful to be here, grateful to see his face... see
how he smiles at you? At us? Listen... he's talking to you... /

"Heero? You okay, man? We'd better get out of here - they may be
bringing in reinforcements. Can you hear me, Heero?" A spasm of concern
crossed the lovely face. "Are - are you all right?"

/Why are you blushing, soldier? Happy that he cares about you? Or something
more... You're not dead. You want to celebrate being alive... are your fingers
hungry for the silk of his hair? Maybe something more this time... his eyes,
or skin...warm...soft.../

/You're *pathetic.*/

"Let's get out of here," the soldier barked.

"Sure thing," Duo called back. "Oi, Heero -" he added,
a wide grin on his face, "gonna buy me some ice cream now?"

"Hn."

***

12:30pm - Heero and Duo's Dorm Room

"Okay, I'm officially human again!" Duo strolled into the room,
still radiating damp warmth from the shower down the hall. He slipped his
towel off, put on boxers and an oversized tee, the began what Heero now
thought of as The Nightly Ordeal of the Hair.

Wing's pilot was in his usual place at the desk. Uncharacteristically,
he allowed his eyes to slide off of the screen of his laptop and over to
Duo's bed. The owner of the hair sat struggling with several feet of tangled
silk - chestnut, shot through with golden threads.

Strong stirrings from the boy inside... something sweet and defenseless
about the American just now... so different from his typical cocky attitude.

Soft whisper near his ear. /Where's the harm in just being near him?
He's just another boy. What could he do to you?/ The boy braced himself
for the blow he was sure to receive, but the soldier just sat and stared
with him at the other pilot.

/Attachments are troublesome. And unnecessary./

/It's not an attachment,/ the boy persuaded, not wanting to miss what
could be his last chance. /It's only an offer to brush his hair.../

The soldier's heart began to race inexplicably and Heero felt a sudden
confusion.

/What the hell is happening to me?/

"Ow! Stupid brush!" Duo looked down at his crowning glory,
now in a wet heap in his lap, and pouted. Heero watched him for a moment
longer, then took a deep breath and walked across the room to Duo's bed.

>>Help me to seeThe good you have plannedYou're wearing thinYou smashing young man...<<

"Give me the brush."

Duo looked up at Heero and blinked. "W-what?"

"You're going to have us up all night at the rate you're going.
Give the brush to me. I'll do it."

Duo was in a state of shock. /Did I get blasted in the head by that Leo?
Geez, maybe I'm dead and I don't know it yet. This can't be real - maybe
I'm just entertaining myself with a made-up Heero while I'm waiting for
someone with wings to tell me where to go next.../

He watched his hand hold the brush out, as if it were a film in slow
motion. He saw Heero take the brush and then sit down next to him on the
bed. Staring at the blanket now, he felt firm but gentle tugs on his damp
hair, as Heero brushed it methodically from the bottom to the top.

/Okay, well, I probably did die. This couldn't be happening any other
way. I just hope whoever's coming to get me doesn't show up too soon. It's
be a real shame to have made up all of this and not get to enjoy it.../

A stab of pain from his scalp made him forego his theory of being dead.
"Ouch!" He tried to say it softly but the grimly beautiful boy
in back of him stopped.

"S-sorry. Didn't mean to do that."

"Oh, it's okay -" Duo said in a voice weak with shock.

/Egads - now he's apologizing... Maybe *he's* the one that got hit on
the head./

Heero had made it almost to the crown of Duo's head when he glanced over
at the clock on his laptop. He'd been brushing for an hour. Somewhere during
all that Duo's hair had begun drying, and now it was back to its silky softness,
flowing like water through his hands as the brush glided down the chestnut
river.

/I don't like this. I want to stop./ The soldier had never before *asked*
to do anything and the boy sensed a temporary power void. Eagerly, he slipped
into it.

/There's nothing scary here. And you have to admit, there's a lovely
calm feeling that's come over you, isn't there? So peaceful bringing shining
order to chaos... letting yourself really look at it - feel it. So much
longing... finally fulfilled.../

/Not yet -/ the soldier began and then stopped abruptly when he realized
what he was about to say.

But the boy had heard, and now the soldier felt him taking over, moving
out from a spot deep inside Heero's head to claim the arms and the hands,
the chest and legs and groin... claiming the flesh for the first time in
years and determined to make it worthwhile.

He let the brush slip from his hands and began stroking Duo's hair, holding
it to his face, breathing in the scent of boy and soap.

/Ohhhh... yes... I can feel it - all over me... I can see it, so beautiful
in the light... and I can feel him - close... so very close...

"Duo..." the softest whisper. Barely a sound, but louder in
the other boy's ears than all of the explosions of tonight's sortie.

Duo turned gracefully and faced Heero, his expression mirroring the confusion
inside.

/Why is he acting like this? That voice - I've never heard that voice.
Almost as if he had turned into someone else.../

Heero was an occupied territory. The boy was, somehow, in charge and
he felt dizzy, cut loose from the earth. He watched as it happened, but
was there all the time, feeling everything, wanting what the boy wanted.
More...

Small, rough hands cupped around around his face. Eyes, burning blue,
gazing into his as if they could pin him to the wall. Ragged breath, so
close Duo could feel it on his cheeks... on his lips...

/This isn't real... not real at all... it may be lovely, it may be the
one thing I've been wanting, but it isn't really happening... so be careful...
one wrong move and it'll all go away... Heero.../

Heero stared at Duo's lips, his expression like a starving man who views
a feast. Cobalt eyes, half-lidded with desire and now, from deep inside
of him, a low keening sound, all hunger and need, filled the ears of a soldier
who had just been captured by the enemy.

A first touch, just the light brush of lips against lips. Their eyes
still open, they gazed intently at each other, Heero full of fire, Duo all
wonder. Breath came faster, and mingled as their lips touched again, the
slightest contact making sparks.

Heero frowned slightly, and made a soft, frustrated noise. "H- How?"
he panted, his eyes boring into Duo's. "How?"

Duo shook his head slightly. "I... What?" Too much need for
this interruption, and then - an insight came just in time.

/He doesn't know how to kiss. Maybe he's never done this. He wants it,
but... he doesn't know how.../

 

Ever so slightly, Duo leaned forward and pressed his lips against Heero's.
For a moment, Heero's eyes widened at the delicious shock that flashed through
him. Then he closed his eyes and pushed forward, taking control of the kiss.
It was eager and clumsy, and Duo had never felt anything so perfect in all
of his short life.

"Hnnnnnn - Duo..." they renegade boy breathed the name like
a prayer through fevered lips. He had been fantasizing for weeks, ever since
they had seen the long-haired pilot. But nothing in his fantasies had prepared
him for this moment. Everything fit so perfectly - as if Duo had been made
for him to kiss.

Heero slipped his arms around Duo's waist and their explorations deepened.
Duo ran his tongue lightly across Heero's top lip and felt the trembling
it produced. A little more insistent and he found teeth so he kept up the
encouragement... the persuasion... as Heero body relaxed beneath his slender
fingers.

/Duo... I've been waiting for you... so long now... so long... I'm a
little scared... scared to death, really... don't know what to do... to
make you happy... what should I do...?/

Almost by accident, Duo's tongue slipped past his teeth and probed, ever
so gently, the wet warmth of Heero's mouth. A shock ran through the Japanese
boy's body - a shock so intense that he broke off the kiss suddenly and
grabbed Duo by the arms, holding his at arms' length. They stared at each
other for an endless moment, both panting. Then Heero put his hands on either
side of Duo's head and pulled him in, kissing him fiercely. Tiny, savage
sounds were coming from his throat and his own tongue now probed Duo's mouth
as he pushed his hands back through the silky hair, clenching it in his
fists.

/Oh, God... is he really doing this? Can I handle it? It feels like he's
gonna devour me whole... /

Hands running roughly over his body made Duo's breath come faster. Heero
couldn't seem to take his partner in fast enough. His fingertips itched
for more and he could only rub and press and moan softly as watched Duo's
face register every touch.

But close by, a coup d'etas was underway. The soldier, sickened by the
need he felt coming from the boy, had recovered himself. He slid his weapon
out of its sheath and took aim at his softly crooning counterpart.

/Take this, you weakling./

A split second, and the boy was down, no longer in full control. The
soldier was fighting, fighting for every inch of power he could take and
the boy, weak from desire, was no match for him.

Breaking off a kiss, Heero suddenly stood, his breathing still heavy.
He stared down at the violet-eyed boy. "Get out," he hissed through
clenched teeth.

Duo's face was a mask of confusion. "W- what?" he asked, his
own breathing ragged. "But... but Heero -"

"Go! Go now! If you don't I can't say you'll be safe!" A last
call from the bleeding boy inside of Heero. "Please... just go! He
might hurt you... Get away... now!!"

As bewildered as he was, something clicked in Duo's mind and he started
for the door. /I'll go, Heero, because you're not yourself right now...
I only wish I knew the part of you that kissed me.../

He took one last look at Heero. the transformation was complete. Beautiful
eyes glared at him, the lovely face grim. Nothing like the soft and needy
boy who had held him...

"Heero..."

The dark-haired boy took a menacing step forward and Duo slipped out
of the room.

***

>>I don't recall asking for guidanceI don't recall
wanting toI don't recall bowing before youBut
I'm so impressedWith the kindness in your attitude<<

The quad was chilly and Duo just hoped none of the sensei's were working
late. He sat chin to knees, arms curled around his legs.

/I'm so tired... the battle... the game... Heero... sweet Heero.../

He put his head down on his knees and tried to think about how it had
started.

Silently, a hand came to rest lightly on his shoulder. Duo whirled around
at the touch, crouching to his defensive position automatically.

"Heh - heh, a little on edge tonight, eh?" Kenji smiled warmly
at him then stretched out a hand to help him up. "You study martial
arts or something?"

Duo stood up and tried to cover the relief he was feeling. "Yeah,
something like that."

"I... I couldn't sleep," Kenji said softly. "I was thinking
about you too much. So... I was watching the stars from my window and I
saw you come out here." He blushed furiously, staring at the ground."
I thought maybe... you'd like some... company."

Duo wanted so badly to say something, anything, about what he'd been
through in the last few hours, but he couldn't. "Kenji... I..."
Nothing - nothing came out.

The other boy grabbed his hand suddenly and pulled him forward. Duo began
to protest, but by the time he got around to squeaking out anything coherent,
they were inside the willow again.

The stood face to face, breathing ragged. Kenji searched Duo's eyes.
"You've been with him, haven't you?"

Duo was shocked. How could he know that! His face must have registered
his feelings because Kenji's gaze softened. "It's okay," he whispered.
"I figured it either was happening or it would. He pretends to ignore
you, but he looks at you a lot . He glares at me, too, when he thinks I'm
being too friendly. I... I just didn't know you two were... you know...
boyfriends..."

Duo turned and looked at the graceful branches of the willow, made silver
by the crescent moon. "I think... if he were my boyfriend... I wouldn't
be out here." Reaching out a tentative hand, he brought one of the
branches towards him, running his fingers through it. "No... we're
not boyfriends. It's just that... something happened tonight... probably
shouldn't have... probably won't ever again."

Kenji walked slowly around the pensive boy, until he stood facing him.
He put out a hand and brushed the thick mass of hair away from Duo's face.
"I thought you were so beautiful when you had your hair in a braid.
But looking at you this way... Duo... you're an angel..."

Duo looked up then and saw caring and tenderness in Kenji's dark eyes.
He saw everything a battered soul could want, to heal and move on. It wasn't
Heero... but it was genuine and good.

He smiled softly as Kenji's hand caressed his cheek, fingers tracing
the outline of his lips, lingering when Duo kissed them gently.

"Duo - can we... I... I want -" Duo stopped him by taking his
hand and cupping it to his face. He kissed the palm softly, then guided
it to his chest, laying Kenji's thumb against one nipple and pressing against
it.

"Oh... Duo... " Kenji whispered. "

Duo closed his eyes as warm hands slid up under his shirt and his body
was pressed against the warm skin of the other boy. He smiled and whispered,
"Kenji... I want this... I really want this..."

As the dark-eyed boy learned forward to taste a delicate nipple, a shiver
of pleasure ran through Duo and the image of Heero was there, completely
unbidden. He saw it all again - the hunger and passion in eyes that had
seemed infinitely angry until now. The rough, unstudied touches, betraying
the Wing pilot's lack of any experience with physical love.

As Kenji pushed him gently to the ground and covered Duo's mouth with
his, Heero kisses were brought back to life. Damp, heated explorations made
Duo feel every touch, every kiss he and Heero had shared that evening. "Ohhh...
Kenji... make me feel it... I need it, ya know... need to feel something
tonight... just... just don't leave me, okay?"

Kenji stopped his fiery kisses and looked down at Duo. "I'm not
letting go of you until morning," he whispered.

***

>>Help me I pleaI don't understandYour
ways and your meansYou smashing young man -Help
me to seeThe good you have plannedYou're
wearing thinYou smashing young man...<<

In the small dorm room, a wounded boy and a frightened soldier faced
each other across a divide. "Never again, " the soldier said decisively.
"You're too much trouble... can't take that chance again... ever..."

The boy smiled. He was weak from the loss of blood but healing fast.
"Don't you see? It's already happening. I'm not down there anymore.
I'm up here... with you... "

The soldier felt a wave of anxiety, something he'd never felt before.
"You need to go back down there. You can't be here - you'll interfere."

"I'll go back down... but I want to be with him again. Promise me
sometime I'll be with him again."

"I can't promise anything. You know that."

"Then I'll wait... but I'll be back up here again..." And now,
he walked to the edge and spread his arms. He could take this. Even the
horrible cell with its cold black walls could be tolerated. He had found
his beloved. The most beautiful boy he'd ever seen. He would be back someday,
and someday, the beloved would be his.

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