(based on the song by Collective Soul, music & lyrics by E. Roland)

Author's Notes: "Listen" is written from both Heero and Duo's points of view. 
It takes place at Yodobashi High School in the JAP sector, beginning the morning 
after "Smashing Young Man" ends.

Key for punctuation:

"..." - character dialogue

/.../ - character thoughts

^...^ - song lyrics

***




Listen





6:15am - Yodobashi High School Quadrangle

It was the smell that woke him. In the night, the wind had shifted - not that 
he would have noticed. He had been wrapped in warm arms, enjoying the sensations 
of rising pleasure and satisfying release, only to start building the feeling 
up again. Somewhere in that sweet cycle he'd fallen into a deep sleep and even 
the chill in the morning air didn't rouse him.

But this... this was the smell of mobile suit fuel and melted steel. Of burning 
asphalt and charred bodies. It was a very, very, familiar smell and he hated 
more than any other. He squeezed his eyes closed for long moment and then grimaced 
and sat up suddenly. "Aw, man, where *is* that coming fr-" Then he remembered. It 
would be from across the water, where a materiel storage facility used to be. 
Now of course, it was a ruin of bombed out buildings and dead soldiers. And he 
was responsible for at least half of it.

Duo put a hand to his head and ran his fingers through long, silky bangs. Gradually, 
he came to the realization that he was naked and outdoors in some kind of public 
place. There hadn't been a rule in the student handbook that specifically prohibited 
nudity on school grounds, but he had a feeling that the principal, Takamura-sama, 
would probably frown on the practice.

/Why am I out here? And out of my clothes...?/ He got up his courage to look around 
and saw Kenji Oyamada, dressed already, standing by the long willow branches and 
staring out at the Quad. "Kenji..." he murmured.

The handsome Japanese boy turned and smiled at him. "Hey!" he said softly. "You're 
up. I was just making sure that no one came by. We've got about 2 hours until class - 
plenty of time to get back and get a shower and some breakfast."

The night and its complexities were coming back to Duo. They were flooding him, 
actually, crashing over him like a wave and he was starting to feel more than a 
little uneasy. He stood abruptly and took Kenji's arm, turning the other boy to 
face him. "Kenji - last night, what happened... between you and mean... well, I'm..
. I'm not sure what to do about it..."

Kenji was still smiling as he let his gaze run up and down Duo's slender body. 
Well, if you want my opinion, the first thing *you* should do is get dressed! Not 
that I'm not enjoying the view..." he winked at Duo.

The long-haired pilot looked down at himself and reddened. "Heh heh - guess you're 
right. Don't know if this school is ready for the "real" Duo." He only had the flimsy 
clothes he had been wearing last night, but at least they covered the crucial parts. 
He braided his hair quickly, feeling distinctly uncomfortable being in a public place 
with it down, and turned once more to the dark-haired boy across from him.

"Kenji - we need to talk about this... about what happened. I didn't mean... that is, 
I'm sorry to have been so... *needy* last night. I feel bad about doing what I did to 
you.:

"Well, in the first place," began Kenji, turning away from the edge of the willow, "you 
don't need to apologize for being 'needy.' Everyone needs friends, and I'm glad I was 
here when you did need someone. And in the second place..." Kenji's cheeks reddened a 
bit, "it wasn't just you doing things to me. It went the other way too and I wanted to 
do everything we did." He stopped speaking for a moment and stared at the American boy. 
"Nothing happened against my will, Duo. In fact... whenever you want that again..." He 
was staring at the grass now, his face flushed a delicate pink. Then he laughed softly 
and looked up at Duo again. "We should get back in before those fitness freaks from the 
running club starting swarming over the place. I'll see you in homeroom, and we can eat 
lunch together, okay?" He walked halfway through the long branches and then stopped and 
called back over his shoulder, "Duo? You were my first. Thank you. It was amazing." He 
stared at Duo for a moment, his dark eyes soft and shining, then disappeared.

Duo smiled a little, watching his figure until it became too obscured by leaves. /I sure 
wish Heero was a little more like you.../ he thought ruefully before wrapping his arms 
around himself for warmth, and beginning the walk back to the dorm room.

***

^ Hey... you're now thirsty
Walking in the desert all alone
Hey... you're now searching
Lost in isolation from your soul ^

/Never again. Do you hear me? What happened was unforgivable and you really should die for 
it, but the mission is still incomplete. So just get a hold of yourself you pathetic excuse 
for a soldier. Put your goddamned hormones away and get the job done. ARE YOU LISTENING TO 
ME??/

Heero winced for the briefest of moments before returning to his familiar scowl. Almost 
without feeling he murmured to himself, "Heero no *baka*, you idiot..." He hadn't slept 
at all. After chasing Duo out of the room, he had paced for nearly an hour, his mind so 
confused that he didn't know what else to do. It was as though a struggle had been going 
on for control of his thoughts. At some point, the scale was tipped to a particular side 
and he had calmed himself. He had gone back to the laptop to look another time at the file 
directories he would be cracking that night after Duo had gotten him into the Lab. /Duo.../ 
It was only one word, one name, but it seemed to have so much power...

A good hour had passed before he realized he's been sitting in front of the computer, staring 
at nothing, doing nothing - nothing but thinking about Duo and what they had done that evening. 
After all the killing.

/He makes it better,/ a soft voice was saying. /He gives something back to me when I think 
it's been ripped away. But what could it be? A perfect soldier has nothing to lose./

He had gone around and around with that voice for a couple of hours, by turns staring at the 
monitor screen or staring out the window. /Where is he? He should come back, the baka. He 
better not have pulled a runner on this one. Not with that lab to break into.../

The door opened softly. He turned abruptly and saw Duo, poking around the edge of the door, 
looking warily out from under his overly long bangs. Heero said nothing to his roommate. 
Just turned back to the laptop.

"I'm - I'm comin' in, 'kay?" The familiar drawl threatened to draw the voice out once more 
but Heero clamped down on it.

"Where were you - all night." Heero's tone of voice was a flat as ever and he kept his gaze 
locked on the decision trees displayed on the screen.

Duo felt a wave of anger. /No apologies, no statement of regret, no "Hey, Duo, I know it was 
*so* uncool of me to *throw you out* last night and I *swear* it won't happen again." None 
of that. Just, "Where were you?" Well, to hell with the cold bastard! He doesn't have any 
right to know and *I'm* not going to say a word. Nope. Not a word./ "It's none of your business, 
so just leave me alone," he said petulantly. Making a face at Heero's back, he frowned and 
walked over to his side of the room.

Sitting on his bed, fuming, he took off his damp clothing and looked at Heero out of the 
corner of one eye. Immediately his frown started to slide into a pout. The unnaturally 
silent atmosphere of the room seemed to have no effect on the Japanese pilot and that made 
the long-haired boy's heart sink. /Just a freak accident, I guess - last night. Maybe he 
was just rattled by the fight at the base. We had a pretty big kill ratio... naw - when 
did that kind of stuff ever bother Mr. Stone Face? It was an accident and there's nothing 
more to it./

He told himself that he accepted the fact and then wrapped a towel around him and headed 
for the showers. Heero Yuy just wasn't worth the trouble.

***

^ Well, the bullets you bite
From the pain you request
You're finding them harder to digest ^

/Relieved. That's what I am. Relieved and very happy that he didn't mention anything about 
last night. I thought for sure he come back all gooey and tell me that he loved me and 
other useless crap. He's a better soldier than I gave him credit for./

Heero had turned around in his chair when he heard the door close and now he stared at 
the back of it, as if he could see the boy who had left if he looked hard enough. What 
he *did* see was Duo's black clericals, hanging from the hook on the back of the door. 
In the pale yellow light of the morning, they seemed to glow a rich, blue-black. Slowly, 
almost fighting against his own movement, Heero stood up and walked to the door. He 
watched in fascination as his hand reached out for the black cloth. It hung in the 
air for a moment just above the priest's shirt and then grabbed at it, pulling the 
garment off the hook. Swiftly, before the decision could be reversed, he brought the 
dark thing to his face, and inhaled deeply. The scent coming from it was pure Duo. A 
soft, soapy smell with the tang of his shampoo added, and underneath... a kind of 
sweet musk that came from the boy himself. His legs felt weak all of a sudden, and 
his hands were trembling. He sat down on his bed, holding the crumpled shirt in his 
lap, and wondered why he couldn't make his heart stop pounding. Then he closed his 
eyes and was suddenly back in time - last year, when he had had to sabotage a base 
inside of that Colony. It had all gone so well, until he had misjudged a placement 
for one of the explosives and the Fed mobile suit he'd been aiming for had collapsed 
onto a civilian apartment building. The one the little girl had lived in... with her 
puppy, Meri.

He hadn't cried. He was far to skilled to have done anything so weak. But the remorse 
had been overwhelming. And he had made the crucial mistake of letting the two men see 
him bury the puppy. He could still hear Dekim Barton's words to Dr. J: "He's completely 
worthless to me like this! What if something like this were to happen in an *important*
 mission? What if he broke down and starting feeling guilty about what you asked him to 
do? Where would we be then?" J had said nothing, so Barton had continued. "Now you take 
him back to that lab of yours and retrain him. I want to see NO EVIDENCE of such weak, 
useless feelings and behavior. He's a *soldier*. Doctor - he doesn't need to be human. 
Now get rid of the feelings or we scrap this one - understand?"

Dr. J had not said anything for a long time after that, but they *did* go back to the 
lab and that's when the training that had been difficult and painful before became nothing 
short of hell. There had been a sadistic trainer, not J, someone else. Everyday, before 
the horror began, he would say the same thing: "Just look at you! Your pathetic! You can't 
keep anything under control anymore can you? And you know WHY? Because you let yourself 
slip - JUST ONCE. That's all it takes. Now let's get started.

Hour after hour, day after day, first watching the killings on the vid screen, then 
being in the same room as they were killed, hearing the sounds they made as they died. 
Then, finally, killing them himself, in countless different ways, over and over and 
over again...

Suddenly he felt sick. He buried his face in the soft cloth he still held and slid 
down to the floor, curling up in a tight ball as he did so. /What's wrong with me? 
This would never have bothered me before... but now... it's getting so hard... so 
very hard to keep the thoughts away... to keep the boy in his place.../

The Boy, in fact, had not returned to his place after last evening's
events. He now stood just a short way from the Soldier, not in control as
an equal, but no longer locked away in his dark and cold cell, far below
consciousness. He had become a powerful presence with strong yearnings,
desires only partially filled. He wanted that wonderful scent, the memory
of Duo's lovely face, his warm kisses, to push everything else out. It wouldn't
happen, of course, the Soldier would see to that. But standing just behind
the Soldier's rigid back, the Boy imagined it and even that brought some
small comfort, and allowed Heero, eventually, to get up again.

***

Duo stood in the shower, letting the hot water run over his stiff muscles.
It was bad enough that it was the day after a fight - he was always a little
beaten up after using Shinigami. Couldn't really call yourself a decent
pilot if your mech didn't get to that level. But he had also spent the night
on the ground and that had only added to the misery. But the heat from the
water, combined with the memory of Kenji in the moonlight were doing wonders.

/He was so good... can't believe I was his first. He just seemed to know
what would feel good and he wasn't afraid of anything. No holding back,
no inhibitions, so passionate.../ Passion... it hadn't belonged just to
Kenji last night. He had felt it himself and in - /Ah God! Why can't I just
put that behind me? It was nothing to Heero, absolutely nothing./ But a
part of him just couldn't believe it. Heero *had* felt something, something
raw and primitive and it seemed to be focused on *him*, on *Duo*. What was
he supposed to do with that?

He turned off the water, dried himself off and walked back to the room,
lost in thought. The whole thing was really puzzling and it seemed a problem
beyond his ability to solve. His *was* trying to solve it, though, and because
of that he didn't notice anything when he walked into the room. He went
into the small half bath that each room had and stood at the sink, meaning
to brush his teeth. He was completely unprepared for the arms that wrapped
around him from the back.

"Ahhh!" He cried out and tried to turn, fearing that they'd
been discovered, but when he looked up at the mirror it was Heero's darkly
beautiful face he saw in back of him. Duo froze. Heero had not moved his
arms from the tight embrace, one hand around Duo's waist, the other around
his chest, pinning his arms tightly to him. Duo stared at Heero in the mirror.
The Japanese pilot stared back, never moving his eyes from Duo's face.

"How are you doing this?" Heero said abruptly, his voice just
above a whisper.

"Do - doing what?" Duo breathed.

"Making me feel things. Things that don't serve any purpose. Tell
me what you're doing."

"I... I'm not doing anything Heero" Duo held the other boy's
gaze. "I just - wanted to be your friend, or whatever else you might
want me to be..."

"What I want -" Heero began.

Duo waited.

What I *want -*" he tried again, his gaze at Duo's reflection getting
more intense.

"Yeah?" Duo whispered, trembling a little now. "What *do*
you want, Heero?"

For a moment, Heero said nothing. The he slid both hands up to Duo's
shoulders and turned the long-haired boy around to face him. /That scent
again... even stronger now. One slip... one slip.../

"I want to stop wanting you," he whispered his reply to Duo,
holding him by the upper arms and giving him a little shake.

"But... ah, don't say that, Heero - because... I want you, too..."

He broke off looking at Duo's eyes. They were too deep - could drown
in there... Heero's hand came up and a calloused thumb ran over the full
lower lip before the dark-haired pilot pulled Duo close. Both boys leaned
closer still, wary but with desire practically singing in them. Heero slid
one arm down and circled Duo's waist, the other cupping his head. Duo let
his hands wander up the cool skin of Heero's arms, clutching at the sleek
muscles near his shoulders as their lips met.

A soft whimper came out of Duo as he opened his mouth to Heero's probing
tongue, wanting the invasion. Wanting Heero even more.

It was a long, deep kiss and when it was over Heero pushed Duo lightly
into the outer room, until he was backed up to his bed. One more light push,
and Duo was falling onto the mattress, Heero laying atop him, staring into
his eyes.

/This can't be happening... not this... not this much... oh God, I want
him so much!/ The American's arms came up to encircle Heero's neck and he
pulled him down for another long kiss. He could feel the lean body relax
on top of his as the kisses continued, the two of them gradually exploring
each other with their hands and tongues. Heero was fascinated by the deep
warmth he found nuzzling the tender spot between Duo's neck and shoulder,
while Duo's hands were buried in Heero's hair, not believing how silky it
felt sliding along his fingers.

Heero's hands became more bold. He ran them down the length of Duo's
bare chest and across the terry cloth wound around his hips. He was pressing
his own body against Duo's as he did, and making small growling noises in
between the kisses that followed his hands. Duo closed his eyes and arched
up into each kiss and caress until he was writhing on the bed and whimpering
softly. Heero was stretched out full-length against him again and now battle-roughened
hands pushed the towel aside to gain access to the tender area between Duo's
legs.

Another deep kiss, and Heero was stroking the inside of Duo's thighs,
making the long-haired boy buck and gasp. Then a slow caress of balls and
shaft while Heero's lips were giving him bruising kisses all up and down
his neck.

It was too much... far, far too much, and Duo began to cry out his release,
only to have Heero cover his mouth again. So he cried out into Heero, over
and over again as the writhing gave way to soft, rhythmic thrusts against
Heero's hand.

Duo heard Heero groan and the kiss was broken. His own hand was being
pressed against Heero's erection as the Japanese boy first nuzzled his neck
and then bit into it softly with just enough force to hold Duo in place
as he flooded their hands with seed.

*** *

^ And the answers you seekAre the ones you destroyYour anger's well deployed ^

It had been difficult to clean up, dress, and eat all in the space of
40 minutes, but they'd done it and now they were walking from the cafeteria
to their homeroom class. Instead of the usual loud chatter and calls of
"Ohayo!", the students seemed somber this morning, most crowded
around the walkway by the water. Duo followed the stares out across the
straight and saw the smoking ruins of the depot. A part of him had to smirk.
/We got those bastards good last night. That should shut 'em down for awhile!/
He glanced over at Heero and found him staring back. Duo gave him a small
wink, a silent acknowledgement of a mission complete and well-done. The
slightest hint of a smile came back.

The next moment the students in front of them were looking the other
way, over to the circular drive at the very front of the school. A large
car was pulling up, the largest car Duo had ever seen. It glided to a stop
and the back door opened revealing a teenaged girl.

"Hey," Duo murmured, isn't that the girl...?"

Heero had frozen in place. His eyes bore into the creature now walking
towards them as he breathed, "Relena."

A flash of irritation ran through Duo. /Yeah, I've seen *her* before...
with Heero, that night at the dock... Heero had been about to kill her and
I stopped him... Yeah, you stopped him and she yelled her head off about
it. Making it out that *I* was the one causing trouble... stupid girl. Yeah,
and at the hospital, too - running after us and screeching at him out the
window... could have gotten us killed with *that* mouth... now she's here
again, chasing Heero *again*. Damn her! Driving up in that boat and now
-"

His thoughts were interrupted by the unnerving sight of the girl in question
walking slowly towards them, blue eyes intensely focused on Heero, a somewhat
possessive gleam in her eye.

/Well, only one thing to do about this idiot,/ he thought to himself.
Putting on his biggest smile, he waved lightly to her. "Ohayo, ojousan!"
he called out, walking just in front of Heero, who seemed unable to move.

"Excuse us, please," Duo continued. "We have class now!"
He grinned and waved again, then kept walking. /C'mon Heero... just put
one foot in front of the other.../

Heero had felt himself pinned by the intense eyes, the predatory look
on that half-pretty face. The he heard Duo's voice calling a greeting to
her and he felt he could breathe again. He turned to see Duo heading off
to their classroom, slender body moving with such grace, making his long
silky braid sway behind him. /Duo... thank gods for Duo.../

He smiled again, turning his glance back to Relena who had stopped several
feet away when Duo had spoken. /Yes, Relena - with him here, I think I can
escape even *your* little hands.../ Then he fixed his eyes on the long,
gleaming braid ahead of him and put one foot in front of the other. **

***

Even with all the talk in their classes about the depot attack, the morning
went fairly smoothly. There were several comments about "those barbaric
rebels" who had done it, and not a few testosterone-laden promises
to "get the bastards" by various male students. Duo said nothing,
much as he wanted to, but each frightened speculation, each bitter complaint,
strengthened his resolve in what he was doing. /They really do have no idea
what this is all about... as far as they're concerned we're a bunch of low-lifes
threatening their precious way of life. Yeah, I could tell *them* a thing
or two about life - life on the Colonies, that is.../

It was noon and he was back in the kumi classroom. His thoughts about
the war were threatening to push him towards a bad mood when he felt a warm
shoulder press up against him. Turning, he saw Kenji slide into the seat
next to him. "Oi, Duo - you look pathetic. Sitting over here, all alone..."
Then, softer, he added, "You okay? Hmm?" and unobtrusively reached
under the desk and squeezed Duo's hand.

The black thoughts scattered and Duo smiled back at the cheerful, handsome
face beside him. "Oh yeah," he grinned, "I'm fine! I was
just practicing my Heero impersonation! How'd I do?" Kenji laughed.

"Too well, man, much too well."

Across the room, Heero watched the two of them laughing together. From
the moment they had kissed last night he had begun feeling protective about
the American pilot. Now that feeling was bordering on possessiveness and
he didn't like feeling so strongly about something that had no relation
to the mission. /Heero no baka,/ he chided himself and looked back down
at the chemistry homework he was pretending to work on. /It's nothing, nothing
at all. Just some quirk of evolution. Makes men get possessive after sex
- protecting the genetic investment. That's all there is to it. Hard to
completely eliminate biology, but I'm determined./

He scowled more deeply, staring at the meaningless equations and the
formulae he already knew. /Of course, *he's* not feeling possessive is he?
He should be feeling the same thing. But then again, I'm not flirting right
in front of him... idiot./ He slammed his book closed. It wasn't working.
He had to find out why. And Duo Maxwell would be the one to give him the
answers.

He gathered his books up, stood, and headed towards the door, scooping
Duo up by the arm as he went. The braided boy gave a yelp as he was dragged
out of his seat. The boy next to him looked stunned and reached out a hand.
"Duo?" he called after them. But the next moment they were out
the door and down a small side hall.

Heero, still grasping Duo's arm, spun him around and pushed him up against
the wall. He glared at his fellow pilot and growled, "Explain yourself."

Duo, with a look on his face that clearly questioned Heero's sanity,
stammered, "Wh - what? What are you doing? Let go of me!" He pulled
his arm away and rubbed the bicep where Heero had grabbed. "Look, I
don't know what *your* problem is all of a sudden, but -"

"You!" Heero hissed. "*You* are my problem! You're too
much trouble. You take too many risks that have nothing to do with why we're
here. And you're getting way to friendly with that boy. So get serious.
We're in a war, Duo. This isn't just another fun day at high school."

Heero began to walk away but was stopped short by a small but powerful
hand grasping his arm. "Now wait just a minute, Heero" Duo drawled
back, his voice tinged with irritation. "You have no right to say I'm
too much trouble. Just you take a look at that base over there, huh? Take
a look at that and *then* tell me I'm 'too much trouble.'"

Heero fixed him with a deadly glare but Duo just crossed his arms in
front of himself, leaned back against the wall, and returned it with a self-
confidentsmirk of his own. "So, Heeeee-ro - tell me what the *real* problem
is. Are you thinking about that stupid missy who showed up this morning?
Got a crush and can't concentrate? Hmm?" /Dear God, let him say no,
please, please, please, Heero - say no!/

If it had been anyone else in the world who had said those things to
Heero Yuy at that particular moment, they would not have lived to see the
next. But it was Duo, and for some reason Heero could not comprehend, the
rules were different for Duo. So he unclenched his fist and kept his eyes
focused on the stupid grin Duo wore as he said, "That boy - what does
he want with you? Why is he always around you? And when did he start calling
you "Duo"? Not Howard-san, Not Duo-kun, just Duo? When did you
two get that close?"

Another grin from the braided boy and the bemused reply, "Why Heero
- anyone would think you were jealous talking like that. Are you?"

A loud groan escaped Duo as Heero slammed his fist into his stomach.
"You need discipline," he muttered, and turned to go, which led
him to collide with Kenji Oyamada, who was looking none too happy.



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** indicates the end of a scene taken from the series

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