Jack and Laura Smith had just spent a week in Las Vegas. He was hooked on gambling and had blown most of their life's savings. Laura was extremely mad at him and would not let up with her nagging.
"Let it go, Laura," Jack kept telling her over and over. "It's done, the money is gone. I am sorry. I won't do it again."
"Yeah, right, Jack, not until the next time, you won't," she hissed back at him.
And of course, she was right to feel that way. Jack always promised to do better but he never did. She didn't know how much longer she could tolerate his behavior. Laura was considering divorce.
Their marriage had grown stale. They constantly bickered and quarreled about every little thing. Half that money Jack had blown belonged to her and she had no intentions of letting him forget it.
Jack pulled into a gas station to fill their car up. Laura hopped out of the car to go to the restroom. Jack got out and talked to the attendant.
"Know of a good motel around here?" Jack asked.
"Just the Hotel California, sir," the man answered, then quickly added, "but if I were you, I'd try to make it on further."
"Yeah, well you don't have to ride with a nagging wife all the way home either," Jack said haughtily.
"Where is this Hotel California?" Jack asked.
"It's about two miles up the road, and then a turn to the left and go about 5 miles down that road on the left, but I really think you can make it home if you try," the attendant continued.
"Hotel California?" Jack inquired. "Like the Eagle's song?"
"Yes, sir, just like the Eagle's song," the attendant said.
"I always liked that song," Jack mused more to himself than to the man.
Laura came back out and got in the car.
Jack got into the driver's seat. He looked at her and said, "We're going to spend the night at the Hotel California, Laura."
She laughed and said, "Hotel California? Like the Eagle's song? Oh, wow! Jack, do you think it's safe?" she joked.
"Well, it's a lot safer than continuing your bitching at me Laura cause I can't take much more of that tonite," he threatened.
"Look, Jack, you cause it all," she said haughtily.
Jack screeched his tires and got back out on the highway.
The gas station attendant picked up the phone and dialed a number, "Jack and Laura Smith are on their way now." Then he hung up the phone.
Jack told Laura to help him look for the turn up ahead.
She pointed, "There's a turn to the left."
"I don't see any signs pointing to a hotel out there, do you?" she asked.
"Maybe there is another highway out there some place," he said.
"As long as they got clean beds and a shower, I don't care what else they got, Laura," he said hostilely to her.
She reached over and turned on the radio. The Eagle's song, Hotel California, was playing. She said, "That's odd Jack. That song is playing now."
"Hush, I like that song, Laura. Let me hear it," he said.
Laura paid no attention to him and switched it to another station but there was nothing on every station she selected but that one song. "Ooh, Jack, this is really eerie," she whined.
"Just leave the radio alone, Laura, and let me hear the song please," he said.
"Jack, we have done gone 5 miles. I don't think there is a Hotel California," she yelled at him.
"Oh yeah?" he screamed back. "Well, what's that up ahead?"
"Looks like some kind of fog, Jack," she said. "Jack, don't go in that stuff. Turn around here and let's go back," she begged him.
They drove into the fog, and as soon as they were in it, the fog cleared up immediately. Straight in front of them and to the left was the hotel.
"Wow!" he exclaimed.
"Look at that place! Who would have thought something this grand would be out in the middle of nowhere?" Jack said.
"I am impressed, Jack," Laura said with her mouth wide. "It's really such a lovely place." Jack pulled into the unloading zone and a valet came out and got their luggage and offered to park the car. Jack gave him the keys and he and Laura went into the hotel lobby. It was certainly a grand place.
"I bet this place has got some good slot machines," Jack was thinking to himself.
They walked over to the front desk. The clerk greeted them, "Welcome to the Hotel California!" Laura noticed a sign behind the clerk, "You can check in but you may never leave!"
She laughed and said, "Well I can see why people don't want to leave this place. It's like a Paradise here. The atmosphere is just intoxicating."
The clerk looked at them and replied, "I am so glad you like it here."
He gave them their key to their room and they walked towards the direction the clerk had told them to go. On their way to their room, they passed several couples who stared at them and smiled a strange, unearthly smile. Both of them noticed it but neither of them said anything. There was something about that place that was intoxicating. It was overpowering them both. Jack unlocked the door to their room, and picked Laura up and carried her into it.
"Jack, you are crazy," she laughed.
"It's this place, Laura. I love it. I feel so different here," he told her. He reached for her and took her into his arms and kissed her tenderly, something he had not done in a very long time.
Laura responded to his kiss. "Jack, you haven't kissed me like that in years," she whispered, full of lust for him.
"I want you, Laura," and he picked her up and took her to the bed and made passionate love to her. Their sex life had not been good for several years now, but all of a sudden it was like they were newlyweds again. They took a shower together afterwards, and made love again in it. Then they snuggled up in bed together and fell asleep.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Jack said as he bent over and kissed Laura the next morning.
"Good morning, darling," she said cheerily, kissing him back.
"I love this place, Jack. It's made you so romantic again," she said, "let's don't ever leave here."
"Hey I'm with you, Laura," he said, "It's a wonderful place. I could stay here forever too."
He was already dressed and told her while she was dressing, he was going down to the frontdesk to get them some breakfast and to check on what was available to do there. She had agreed they would have breakfast together when he came back with their food. He kissed her goodbye and left the room. She changed her clothes while he was gone.
Jack noticed more couples he passed looking at him strangely and smiling that odd smile. He was too happy to care though. He and Laura were in love again!
Down at the frontdesk, he asked about breakfast and what activities were available they could enjoy for the day. The clerk told him they had plenty of activities to enjoy. How about a cooking class for Laura and Jack could play the slot machines?
"Slot machines?" Jack asked.
"Yes, sir, you do like the slot machines, don't you?" the clerk asked Jack.
"Oh, I play them a little," Jack lied.
The clerk pointed to the breakfast room and Jack went in and made two plates for them. He carried them back up to the room. Laura was waiting on him. They ate heartily. The food was so good.
Jack told her about the cooking class the clerk had mentioned. She was thrilled as cooking was one of her hobbies. Jack told her he had signed up for a handyman's class and he would meet her for lunch in the dining room at noon. They kissed again and parted. Laura headed for the kitchen and Jack went in the opposite direction toward the gameroom.
Laura walked into the kitchen area, "Am I early or late for the cooking class?" she asked the chef. "Hello, my dear Laura, you are right on time," the chef grinned at her.
Jack walked into the gameroom. He had all these slot machines for himself. He sat down and began to play them. He won!
"Oh, man, I can win our money back here. Laura will be so pleased with me," he kept playing as hard as he could. Time flew by and before he knew it, the day was gone. It was six o'clock.
"Oh, man! I was supposed to have met Laura for lunch at noon. Now she will be mad at me again. Maybe not though when she finds out how much money I have won back for us," he mused to himself.
He rushed upstairs to their room. Laura was not inside. There was a note for him laying on the bed.
"Jack, dear, I am having so much fun here. It's okay that you missed lunch. Save me a seat at dinner tonite. I am preparing a special meal just for you, my love." Love,
Laura.
He showered and changed into his dinner jacket. This place was so good for both of them. He could barely wait to see Laura and tell her how much money he had won for them.
In the dining room, Jack was shown to a table. He told the hostess to watch for his wife and show her to the table when she came in to dine with him. The dining room was full of people. All of them stared at Jack as he went to his table.
The hostess announced, "Tonite we have Mr. and Mrs. Jack Smith with us."
"In honor of them, a special meal is being served tonite."
The waiters began bringing in trays of food and placing plates at each table. Jack was served his food. He wanted to wait for his wife but he was so hungry he decided he would eat. It was absolutely delicious! Never before had he tasted anything quite so wonderful as the meal he was enjoying. Laura had helped prepare it too. He kept looking around for her as he was eating but she never came into the dining room. When he finished his meal, he called the hostess over to his table. "Where is my wife? She was supposed to join me here for dinner tonite," Jack said.
"Why sir, you have been dining with your wife all evening!" the hostess proclaimed.
"What do you mean? Laura hasn't been here at all!" Jack asked him.
"Laura was the meal, sir," the hostess said to him.
Jack thought this must be some kind of sick joke Laura was playing on him to get even for his missing lunch with her. He called out to her, "Laura, quit playing games with me. Come on out here now."
The other guests began to get up from their tables and came over toward Jack with knives in hand.
Jack tried to escape but they had him surrounded. The last thing he heard the hostess say was this, "And now it's your turn to be the meal, sir."
The guests surrounded Jack and stabbed him with their knives until he was dead.
The next day in front of the hotel, a new couple was driving up. They got out of their car and walked into the lobby. They could not believe what a lovely place this was. Out of the shadows in the lobby a couple watched them and grinned, that strange unearthly smile, the same one the other guests had given them when they checked into the hotel. It was Jack and Laura Smith doing the grinning this time though. Jack looked at Laura and said, "Looks like it's going to be a good meal tonite, my love." And they hugged each other affectionately.
