"THE TWELVE DAYS OF X-MAS"
(The Twelve Days Of Christmas)

On the twelfth day of X-Mas, my partner gave to me
twelve wormies squirming
eleven Gregors cloning
ten roaches crawling
nine Phoebes dancing
eight Ah-nolds killing
seven Flukes a-swimming
six things decaying
five glowing bugs
four cell-phone calls
three French dead
two latex gloves
and a cocoon in a pine tree

"DECK THE HALLS"

Here's a body in a gully
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis a reason to find Scully
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don she will her scrub apparel
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Troll the spooky Mark Snow carol
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

"WE THREE VAMPIRES"
(We Three Kings)

We 3 vampires of Los Angeles are
Biting necks--the worst ep by far.
The fourth one, Kristin, will assist in
Seducing this show's star.

"O SUNDAY NIGHT"
(O Holy Night)

O Sunday night
For the stars we are pining
It is the night that our fav'rite show airs.
Long lay we Philes
After that last ep, whining
That we really did despise cliffhangers.
The thrill of it
We weary Philes rejoic'd
For yonder was a new exciting ep
Fall on the couch and set your VCRs up
O night sublime
O night when X-Files airs.

"LOOK! THE THREE LONE GUNMEN SKATE"
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

Look! the three Lone Gunmen skate
For conspiracies, they wait
Aliens on earth are here to stay
It's like Independence Day
Conspiracies in nations rise
Cov'ring up what's in the skies
Look! the three Lone Gunmen skate
While aliens land in Washington
Look! the three Lone Gunmen skate
Aliens have conquered Washington.

"IT AIRED ONE AUTUMN FRIDAY NIGHT"

It aired one autumn Friday night
That glorious ep number two
With saucers flying near the earth
And a pair of teens sniffing glue
"They've been on earth a long, long time,"
Said Deep Throat to Mulder (who wants to believe)
His memories of that night were gone
Plus all answers he received.

"GOD REST YE MERRY, CANCERMAN"
(God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)

God rest ye merry, Cancerman
This smoke will be your last
Remember that old Roswell crash
Is twenty-nine years past
It started Mulder's search for truth
Though he is failing fast
You are smoking your Morleys in joy
Morleys in joy
You are smoking your Morleys in joy.

"KRYCEK, THE ONE-ARMED TRAITOR"
(Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Krycek the one-armed traitor
Had a nice prosthetic limb
And if you ever crossed him
Your chances for life would be slim
Mulder, his former partner,
Always laughed and called him names
Mulder was quite resentful
That Krycek played his traitor games
Then one foggy Moscow night
Comrades came to say,
"Krycek, with your plastic arm,
Will you stop doing us harm?"
Then all the Russians loved him
As they danced around with glee
And Krycek, the one-armed traitor
Used his arm to stir his tea.