Chapter 1 Brenda saw Sonny walking towards her in the narrow train passage and looked for a way to escape. She had been able to avoid him or ignore him for almost the entire time that he had been back in Port Charles. When Robin had told her earlier in the evening that he was leaving she had let out a sigh of relief. Lately, when it came to Sonny, she felt like an animal trapped in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. Maybe if she stayed real still, and pretended like she didn't see him, he would do likewise and pretend he didn't see her. It had been hard, the Nurses Ball was almost impossible. Sonny had made a grand entrance and made himself very visible and had showered her with attention. He had been hard to resist that night, but one look from Jax had reminded her that too even acknowledge Sonny would have been relationship suicide. Then there had been the night of the warehouse fire, when Sonny had saved Jax. That night Brenda wanted nothing more than to make sure that Jax was okay and then run to Sonny and do the same for him, but Jax had held her so tight that she hadn't been able to reach Sonny. By the time that Jax had let go, Sonny was gone. The last time that she had to ignore Sonny was earlier that evening on the docks. She was waiting for Jax, when Sonny had come up behind her. She knew he was there, how could she not feel him? She was about to look up at him, just to give him a smile and thank him for saving Jax. Then Jax came and Sonny left, she felt it and she knew the pain that he was in, she didn't want to see his face and look into his eyes and see all the pain that she knew she had partly caused. She just didn't know what to do about it, she felt as if the same fates that had always bound them together were now working to rip them apart. Sonny: Hi. He looked her straight in the eyes and she thought that she saw something that resembled an old spark. He even smiled and she found that she couldn't help but smile back. Brenda: Hi. Sonny: I guess it is true what they say about never knowing who you are going to meet. Brenda: I guess it is true. She looks down at the floor, desperately trying to break the hold that his eyes have on her. Sonny: So, where are you headed? Brenda: Photo shoot in Utah. Sonny: Sounds fun. Brenda: Yeah, and you, where are you headed? Sonny: Home, the long way. Brenda: Oh, well have a nice trip. Sonny recognized that she was dismissing him and didn't try and hide his disappointment. Sonny: *With bitterness* Yeah, you too. She tries to move past him nonchalantly in the hall, but it is too narrow to move though with out brushing his body. She tries to ignore the electrical surge that passes through her body from the brief contact. She has convinced herself that he can only affect her if she allows him to and what would be the use in that. Brenda: I will. Once Brenda passes by Sonny one of the porters approached Brenda. Sonny gives him a nod of acknowledgment. Porter: Is there anything else you need, Mr. Corinthos? Sonny: I'm fine, don't forget that my offer still stands. Porter: Yes, I know. Brenda: What offer? Porter: Ms. Barrett, I am afraid that the compartments on the train have been over booked and that there is no space for you this evening. Brenda: What are you talking about? Porter: We can refund you the amount that you paid for a private compartment and you can ride in general seating. Brenda: That is totally unacceptable, I have a photo shoot tomorrow and I need a good nights sleep tonight. Porter: Mr. Corinthos informed me that you would probably feel this way. Brenda: Wait a minute! Since when do you talk to one passenger about another passenger. Porter: I'm sorry, we usually don't. However, Mr. Corinthos mentioned that the two of you were aquatinted and when I informed him that your reservation for a private compartment could not be filled, he graciously offered to share his compartment with you. Brenda: That is also unacceptable! Surely there is something that you can do about this? Brenda is all to aware that Sonny is watching her very closely and his face seems to be developing a look of amusement. Brenda: Is there somewhere that we can talk about this, in private? Porter: Of course, follow me to the lounge. Brenda shoots Sonny a death glance, before following the porter to the lounge. In a few minutes she comes back, and she doesn't look very happy. Sonny is still in the hall, casually leaning against the wall. Sonny: Did you get things settled? Brenda: I can handle it. Sonny: Have it your way, but then again, you usually do get your way. Brenda: What is that supposed to mean? Sonny: Forget it! Brenda: No, I want to know what you thought that you were going to do? Sonny: I was just trying to be a gentleman, Brenda. Brenda: That is such a lie! You are a real piece of work! What did you do, buy out the whole train just so you could get me into your compartment? Sonny: You know, I've got better things to do with my time and money than go around buying train compartments. Brenda: Did you really think that I'd sleep with you? Sonny: You've got to sleep somewhere, I was just thinking about you're beauty sleep. You don't want to show up for your photo shoot with bags under those pretty eyes of your. Brenda: Sonny, it's over between us. I'm with Jax now and I'm happy. Why can't you get that? Sonny: I do get it, and I'm happy that your happy. He gives her the most fake smile he can muster. Brenda: Why won't you let go? Sonny: I don't know what you want from me? I let you go and gave you my blessing to marry Jax or whatever makes you feel good and I'm leaving town. What else can I do? I know that were not going to be together and that from now on you'll be sharing things with Jax. Things that we used to share. That point hit me hard across the face today when I saw you waiting for him on our bench on the docks. Brenda: I should have said something to you. Sonny: You knew I was there? Brenda: Of course, I knew you were there and I knew you were leaving. Of course you would have wanted to spend sometime on the docks before you left. I should have met Jax someplace else. Sonny: No, Port Charles is your home. You shouldn't have to censor your activities. You should be able to sit where ever you want and meet Jax anywhere that you want. Brenda: Still, I should have had respect for the memories that the docks hold for both of us. Besides, Jax doesn't really feel that comfortable there, he and the docks pretty much mix like oil and water. Sonny: I don't know about that. Brenda: What does that mean? Sonny: I'm just saying, I think that there is a lot about Jax that you don't know. Brenda: Is it really necessary that I know everything? Sonny: No, as long as your safe and happy. Brenda: Jax makes me feel both. Sonny: So, did I hear a "no" on sharing my compartment? Brenda: That is part of your problem Sonny, sometimes you just don't listen to me. What you should have heard was, "no thank you." Sonny: It's your sleep that is going to be loosing out. Brenda: I'll survive, besides the porter is trying to find someone else for me to share a compartment with. He thinks that there is a woman who had reserved a double compartment and then showed up alone, maybe I can share her compartment. Sonny: Mine is a double compartment, Brenda. Besides, do you really want to sleep in the same room with a stranger? Brenda: I did it the entire time we were together. Sonny nodded in agreement and tired not to let her stinging words penetrate to his heart, where they could really do damage. The truth was that they hurt, even if he felt that he deserved them to a certain extent, her words still hurt. They stood there in silence, until the porter broke the tension. Porter: Ms. Barrett, I just spoke to Susan Davis and she has agreed to share her compartment with you. Brenda: I knew that you would be able to find something. Porter: I'm sorry about the inconvenience. Brenda: It's okay. What compartment is she in? Porter: DD4. Can I have your bags brought around to you? Brenda: Yes please. She hands him a claim ticket and a tip. Sonny: If things don't work out with Ms. Davis, you know where I'll be. Brenda: Standing here in the hall, holding the wall up, right? Sonny: No, in my compartment. He indicates the door behind him. Sonny: *He flashes her a quick smile* It's BB1. I think that you can remember that. Brenda gives Sonny a look that he can't completely read. Either she is angry at him or very flustered. Brenda: Good bye Sonny, I'm not going to say it again She walks off to find her compartment, he watches her go with a look of sadness. Porter: I'm sorry sir. Sonny: It's not your fault, there are some forces in this world that you can't control, Brenda is definitely one of them. Porter: Would you like that money back that you paid for her compartment? Sonny: Nah, what's the use? Besides, I already gave her compartment to another couple. They're on their honeymoon, just starting out their new life together. I figured they could use the privacy. Porter: That was generous of you. Sonny: The things is, I didn't even want to sleep with Brenda. I just wanted to be close to her tonight. Porter: It really isn't any of my business, sir. Sonny: Right. Porter: If there is nothing that I can get you, I'll go pick up Ms. Barrett's bags. Sonny; Why don't you let me take care of her bags? The porter hands Sonny the ticket and leaves with the tip. Sonny looks at the claim ticket in his hands, and wonders if he will ever be able to let go of Brenda, he wonders if he will ever truly want to let go of her. All he knows is that it isn't over, it may never be truly over between them. Chapter 2 Brenda heard the knock on the door. Brenda: That must be the porter with my bags. Come in, the door is open. Sonny set some of her bags on the hall floor and opens the door. Brenda is sitting with her back to the door. Facing him is a young girl with dark hair, that instantly reminds him of Robin. In fact he has to look twice to convince himself that it isn't Robin. The two girls could be twins, they both have short dark hair and are slight in build. This girl, who Sonny presumes must be Susan Davis, is also about the same age as Robin. The young girl looks up at him with dark brown eyes that are bright with tears. Sonny puts the bags down. Sonny: Hey, is something the matter? Brenda hears his voice and turns around. He sees that she has also been crying. Brenda: Not now Sonny, please! Sonny: If there's something wrong I'd like to know how I can help? The last thing I can stand to see is beautiful ladies in tears. He walks to Brenda and wipes the tears off of her cheeks, gently as if her face was a delicate dew shrouded flower. Susan notices his care with Brenda and gives her a hurt look. Susan: You lied to me! How can you possibly understand what I'm feeling, when you have him? She rushes from the compartment, leaving Sonny puzzled. Sonny; Was it something that I said? Brenda: No, she is just scared and alone. I need to go after her. Brenda leaves the compartment, with Sonny following after her. She quickly walks up the hall until she feels a breeze from an open door to the outside. Susan has opened the door and is standing near the edge. The country side is whizzing past at a dizzying rate and Susan is looking at the open door with a desperate look in her eyes. The wind from the speeding train almost knocks Brenda off balance. In the background a soft alarm begins to wail, informing the crew that an outside door is open. Sonny comes up behind Brenda and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Susan. Brenda: What are you doing, Susan? Get away from there before you fall! Susan: *Sobbing* Don't you see? I can't live with this! Brenda: Yes you can, you can't give up! You have to think of your baby! Susan: I am thinking of my baby! That is why I'm doing this. I have to end it now. Brenda reaches for Susan, in the very same instant Susan leaps out through the open door. Brenda is thrown off balance and is falling out the door as well, when Sonny grabs her and pulls her to safety. A porter had come around the corner just in time to see Susan leap to her death. That porter pulls the emergency brake and the train comes to a halt with a sudden jerk. Sonny is still holding Brenda tightly in his arms, as they are both thrown to the floor by the force of the braking train. Sonny: Are you all right, sweetheart? Brenda, who is in shock, just nods her head. Sonny: *Looking her over.* No broken bones? Porter: What happened? Sonny: I don't know, that girl just jumped! Porter: I saw that, but why'd she do it? Sonny; I don't know, she just did! Porter: Did you know her? Brenda: Her name was Susan Davis. She starts to cry hysterically. Brenda: Why, why do bad things have to happen? She continues to talk, but doesn't make much sense. Sonny hold her tighter and she buries her face in his shirt, crying. Sonny: *To the porter* She's going into shock, get some blankets and get her a drink! The porter just stands there, numbly. Sonny: Now! The porter runs off, as others start to gather around Sonny and Brenda. Sonny ignores them and concentrates on calming down Brenda. Sonny: It's okay, Brenda, your safe sweetheart. The porter comes back with a blanket that Sonny drapes across Brenda. She is shaking and crying. The porter hands Sonny a glass of cognac that he holds up to Brenda's quivering lips. She refuses to drink. Sonny: I know that you don't drink cognac, but it will help calm you down, baby. She swallows a few sips of the sweet liquid and Sonny can fee her start to relax in his arms. People around them are starting to stare. Sonny: Brenda, you need to rest for a few minutes. I'm going to take you someplace where you can rest. Sonny doesn't want to take her back to Susan's compartment right away. Sonny: I'm going to take you back to my compartment, where you can have some privacy. Brenda: No! She starts to get hysterical again and tries to pull away from Sonny. In the process the glass fall from her hand. The last thing that he wanted to do was upset her more. Sonny: Okay, I'll take you to the lounge. Can you stand up and walk? Brenda: Yes. He helps her stand up and she leans on his shoulder for support. Porter: The authorities have been called, they will want to talk to both of you. Sonny: Let us catch our breath. We'll be in the lounge. Sonny helps Brenda to the lounge and leads her to a large stuffed chair. He goes to the bar and pours her another drink, to replace the one that she spilled. This one she accepts without hesitation. He kneels in front of her and takes the hand that she isn't using to hold the drink. Sonny: Do you want to talk about what happened? Brenda: She was just so scared and she felt so alone. I had just gotten her to open up to me. Sonny: When I came in and ruined the moment? Brenda: No, that 's not what I meant. Sonny: I might as well accept the blame, another life lost to the charms of Sonny Corinthos? Brenda: How do you always do that, Sonny? How can you take blame for every bad thing in the world? Sonny: Practice, I guess. Brenda: Well, you can stop right here, because that girl died because she was scared and hopeless. She was HIV+ Sonny! She couldn't live with that, so she ended her life! Sonny: That poor girl. Didn't you tell her that it wasn't the end of the world, that people live with it and some are even beating it? Brenda: Yes I did, I told her about Robin. I told her that for the first time in a long time there was hope. Sonny: I don't understand then, why didn't she listen? Brenda: It wasn't just about her. Two days ago she had a baby, a little girl. She found out today that she had passed the virus on to her child as well. The man that she was with wasn't the child's father and when he found out about the virus he left. He just walked out on her and her child. Sonny: *Sarcastically* The world needs a few more supportive people like him! Brenda: When he left her, she felt completely alone and she was scared. She didn't know what they would do to her at the hospital, if the police would be brought in or what. So she left, she just got up and ran. Her and her boyfriend had already booked a compartment on this train, so she came here. She just wanted to escape. Sonny: But you can't escape, because you carry all of the loneliness and guilt with you. When it gets to be too much to handle, you escape in the only way left. That kind of feeling is like poison in your blood, you get so desperate that you'll do anything to get it out. Brenda was almost shocked by how well Sonny understood those feelings. She knew that he had lived a life of pain and that his soul was tortured, she just wondered how much of his pain was current. Brenda: How alone are you Sonny? Sonny *Understanding her question.* Not that alone, Brenda, and not that desperate. I have been at different points in my life. He gets up and walks to the bar to pour himself a drink. Sonny: I'm not that desperate any more, now I fish. She notices the bitterness in his voice, and for the first time since he has been back she feels his sadness and it makes her sad as well. She starts to weep softly. Sonny sets down his drink and walks back to her. Sonny: Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry for me. I like to fish, I really do. Brenda: I'm not crying for you. Sonny: Then, for who? Brenda: I'm crying for Susan and her baby who might not get a chance. I'm crying for Stone and for Robin. Sonny: That's a lot of people to cry for. Brenda: I'm not finished! Mostly I'm crying for you and me, because life is too short and precious and we kept messing it up and now we've lost our chance. I wish Jax were here! Why isn't he ever here when I need him? Why does his business dealing and his two bit thug of a brother have to be more important than me? Why am I alone? Sonny: Hey, I'm here. Your not alone Brenda. Brenda: But you're leaving. You have to get back to your fishing. Sonny: I'm not leaving you like this, as long as you need me, I'm staying right here. He wraps his arms tightly around her and lets her cry. He runs his fingers though her soft hair. Sonny: When did your hair get so long, again? Brenda: I just stopped cutting it one day. Sonny: I always liked your hair long, it crushed me when you cut it all off. Brenda: I never knew. He runs his hand down to the nape of her neck and rests it there lightly. He draws her face to his and kisses her, softly and gently. She is too tired to resist and is not sure that she would, even if she had the energy. Chapter 3 Sonny was hardly able to contain his pride, as he watched Brenda talk with the authorities investigating Susan Davis' death. She had such strength and fortitude and always went to great lengths to do the right thing. He could help wondering what such an amazing woman had ever seen in a guy like him. After they had kissed in the lounge, Brenda seemed to rebound completely, she had insisted that she didn't need to be taken care of or protected. It was with such fire and determination the she had insisted on speaking to the authorities that Sonny knew he couldn't talk her out of it. Since then, it seemed to Sonny, that she hadn't stopped moving, she had even insisted on sleeping in Susan's compartment. Sonny: Brenda, that can't really be what you want. Brenda: It's just a place to sleep, why should it go to waste? Besides, I know where you're at if I need you. Compartment BB1, I'll be all right. She gives him a sly smile that does nothing to convince him she really is all right, but he knows that her strength will insure that she is all right in the end. Sonny: I know. They both know that by morning he will be gone, with out a trace and with out a goodbye. That is how it has to be for now. Brenda: Take care of yourself. Sonny: Yeah, you too. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead and leaves. Brenda is lying on her back looking up at the ceiling of the dark compartment. It really was the first time that she slowed down since Susan's death, from her point of view, keeping active was a necessity. She had to keep moving so that she wouldn't have to think about what had happened to Susan, but there was more to it than that. Brenda had to keep her mind of the kiss that she and Sonny had shared in the lounge. The first time that Sonny had kissed her she had told him that it wasn't just a kiss, "It's a prelude." She wasn't sure what the kiss in the lounge was, except unforgettable! She had to keep her mind off of the kiss. The last time that they had kissed, in the penthouse, was supposed to be good bye, why had she let him kiss her and remind her of what she was missing everyday that they spent apart? She could still feel his mouth on hers and the echo his heart beating next to hers. Alone in the compartment, feelings started to wash over her like a gale wind. She was bombarded by memories, and emotions that she was usually able to keep in check. She starts to weep, and when she finds that she can't stop, she climbs out of bed and makes her way to the door of Sonny's compartment. Brenda knocks softly on the door of BB1. Sonny: Who is it? Brenda: Sonny, it's Brenda. Sonny: Give me a minute. He doesn't open the door all the way and stands where Brenda can't see into the compartment. Sonny: This is a surprise. Brenda: Am I bothering you? Sonny: No, you know that I always have time for you. Brenda: It's just that you said if I needed you, you would be here? Sonny: Of course. Brenda: I need you. Sonny: Do you want me to go back to your compartment? Brenda: No, I can't go back there. Can I come in? Sonny is silent for a moment and a look of almost panic registers on his face. Brenda finally realizes what is going on. Brenda: *As calmly as she can* Sonny do you have a woman in there? Sonny is silent. Brenda: Oh my god! You do, you're with a woman! How could I be so stupid? Sonny: Would you let me explain, Brenda? Brenda: You don't have to explain, you're free to do what ever you want with whom ever. She angry and he is confused. If he didn't know better he would swear that she is jealous. Sonny: Give me a minute and I'll get rid of her and we can talk. Brenda: No, you know what forget it! Just forget that I was ever here. Sonny: I can't do that! She turns to leave, just as a tall red headed woman in a green slip dress comes out of Sonny's compartment. Woman: When you figure out what you want, you know where to find me. She walks off in one direction and Brenda walks off in the other. Sonny looks after the woman and then Brenda, he takes off after Brenda. Sonny: Brenda, I want to talk to you. Brenda: It's none of my business, Sonny. He catches up to her and grabs her arm and pulls her to a stop. He turns her around to face him. Sonny: Wait, you came to me because there was some that you needed from me. Brenda: I don't want to waste your time. Sonny: You're my friend Brenda, I always have time for my friends. Please tell me what you need from me. She looks at him with the saddest eyes that he has seen in a long time. Sonny: Please, Brenda, let me help you. He indicates the compartment and he follows her in. Sonny: Do you want a drink? Brenda: No, I'm fine Sonny: No your not, or you wouldn't be here. Brenda: Your right, I couldn't sleep in that compartment. I would try to close my eyes and I just couldn't stop thinking about Susan and how I couldn't save her. Sonny: Brenda, it wasn't your job to save her. Brenda: I should have been able to help her, I should have done something. Sonny: Some times you can't do anything. You do the best you can and then you live with the consequences of the choices you make. Brenda: Is that what you're doing Sonny, "living with the consequences?" Sonny: That is what most of my life has been about. Now, you need to get some rest. You can sleep here and I'll sleep in your and Susan's compartment. Brenda: With the blonde? Sonny: No, I'll sleep alone, just like I do every night. you just don't get it do you Brenda? Why would I want to sleep with any other woman when your the only one that I want? Brenda: What are you talking about? Sonny: I love you Brenda, I always have and I always will! Brenda: I didn't know. Sonny: I know you didn't, I didn't want you to know because I wanted you to be happy. Even if that meant you were with Jax. I still feel that way, it's just now you know the truth, I'll never stop loving you. Brenda: So your going to carry our love around like some battle scar? Sonny: No, like the precious gift that it is. Brenda: It's strange, we probably know each other better than any two people on earth and we could never really figure out how to give each other what we really need. Sonny: I thought that is what I'm doing by leaving, letting you be with a man that has something to give you Brenda. Brenda: I used to think that you were the only one that could make me happy. Sonny: I could for a while, but I could never make it last. I'm broken Brenda, in ways that not even you can fix. Brenda: I wanted to make you feel safe, like you would never be hurt or betrayed. I guess I never knew how to give you what you needed. Sonny: I know what you need, a good nights sleep, so I'm going to go. Brenda: If you think that is what I need, than you don't really know me at all. She moves in front of the door to block him in the room, in doing so she also moves closer to him. They are so close now that they can feel the other's breath. Brenda reaches up and gently strokes his face. Brenda: I need you Sonny. I need you to hold me to night and remind me what it feels like to be alive. She pulls him closer to her until their faces are lees than an inch apart. She leans closer to him and kisses him. It is a slow burning kiss. Sonny: *Whispering* Do you know what you're say? Brenda: Yes, I'm asking you to make love to me. I need you to make love to me, Sonny. She kisses him again, passionately and as she does she starts to run her hand down the front of his shirt and unbutton it. Sonny pulls away from her. Sonny: No, I can't do this. Brenda: Don't you want us to be together. Sonny: More than you can possibly imagine. I can't do this though, I can't make love with you tonight and have you regret it tomorrow morning. Brenda: I can't say how either of us will feel tomorrow morning. She moves to kiss him again, but he side steps her. Sonny: Brenda, I won't be here when you wake up. Brenda: *I know that, I may not like it, but I do know that is the way that it has to be. Sonny: Than how can you ask me to be with you tonight? Brenda: I need you and I want you, if only for tonight. He looks at her with an intense gaze, and then grabs her and pulls her to him. He kisses her with such intensity that she almost forgets to breath. There is an urgency to the way that they kiss, as if this is their last chance at something this strong. They try and memorize every aspect of each other. Committing touch and feel to memory. He picks her up and carries her to the bed, not stopping kissing her even for one second. The continue for some time and finally give themselves completely to each other and make love. The next morning Brenda knows that he is gone, even before she opens her eyes, she knows that he isn't there. She doesn't know when he left, the train didn't have any scheduled stops during the night, but she knows that some how he left the train. Tears start to stream from her tightly shut eyes, when she finally finds the courage to open them she sees a note on Sonny's pillow. On top of the note are the diamond bracelet that Sonny gave her when they first started dating and beside that is the anklet that he gave her on the supposed wedding day. The note reads, "These will remind you of what I can't forget. I love you with all my heart, Brenda." Brenda climbs out of bed and searches the room for some other evidence that the previous night really happened and wasn't just a dream. She finds nothing to indicate that Sonny was ever there, anything that he had with him he took when he left. She goes to Susan's compartment and finds a telegram waiting for her informing her that the modeling shoot has been canceled. She leaves the note that Sonny wrote her, she puts the ankle bracelet on and puts the other diamond bracelet in her suitcase. She can't believe her good fortune at not having to go to Utah, she gets off at the next station and buys a return ticket to Port Charles. She decides to keep the events of the pervious evening to herself, which is rather simple because nobody even asks her why she is home early. Jax is so preoccupied with the trouble that his brother is in that he doesn't even ask her how her trip was, or who she saw, or who died or who made her feel alive. He also doesn't seem to notice the diamond ankle bracelet she is wearing. She continues her life, as if nothing special has happened to change it, however in her heart she knows that isn't true. She has realized that the man that is really in her heart is not the man that is in her life. She tries to be happy with the life that she has chosen, yet she is not sure how long she can pretend that she can live without Sonny.
Gilded Cage 4-7
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