Gilded Cage 69-70

Chapter 69
Lois was sitting beside the bed when Brenda woke up. She had been out cold for some time, even when the doctor examined her. He was convinced that she was just exhausted, he also suggested that she might possibly be pregnant, but he decided to hold off any serious diagnose until his patient was conscious.
Lois: I’m glad that you’re awake, Bren. You sure had us all worried.
Brenda: What happened?
Lois: From what I hear, you fainted.
Brenda: How long have I been out?
Lois: About an hour, Sonny called a doctor and he checked you over. He seems to think that you are fine.
Brenda: How did a doctor get to the island so quickly?
Lois: Sonny sent the helicopter for him.
Brenda: Since when does Sonny have a helicopter?
Lois: he has always had it, at least as long as I’ve known him. He only uses it for emergencies, he is afraid that it will draw too much attention if he uses it all the time.
Brenda: I have an emergency, I have to get to San Juan and find my mother!
She starts to get out of bed, but feels lightheaded again.
Lois: Wait a minute! Sonny and Mike will take care of finding Veronica, you have to rest.
Brenda: Why? There is nothing wrong with me, you said so yourself.
Lois: No, I said that the doctor said that there was nothing wrong with you, but he only saw you when you were out cold. He really should look at you again and run some tests.
Brenda: What kind of tests and why are you so interested in my health anyway?
Lois: You’re my best friend, honey, of course I care about your health.
Brenda: Oh yeah, were good friends! So good that we share the same men?
Lois: I didn’t know that we ever shared Ned?
Brenda: You know what I mean! How long have you been here, Lois?
Lois: Almost a year ago I stumbled on this island and found Sonny in bad shape. I guess he had just returned from Port Charles and his whole world was falling apart. Do you know about Maria?
Brenda: Sonny told me all about her.
Lois: Then I guess you know that she left him right after he came back. She couldn’t stand the mood swings or the heavy drinking. Sonny wanted you Brenda, and he knew he couldn’t have you, he gave up on life.
Brenda: *Sarcastic* So you decided to save him?
Lois: I decided to help him. He had to agree to certain things though, he had to stop thinking about you, morning for you, and wanting you. I made him put away your picture and I made him stop drinking so heavily. I didn’t want my daughter to be around an obsessive drunk and I told him so.
Brenda: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that Brook was down here for a while?
Lois: She is still down here, I’ve just been keeping her away from you.
Brenda: I haven’t seen my goddaughter in over two years and you have been keeping her away from me?
Lois: Yes, because you’re angry and I don’t want her to be a part of that.
Brenda: You’re right, I’m angry! You Spent A Year In The Arms Of The Man That I Love And You Kept It From Me!
Lois: Calm down, Brenda!
Brenda: Do not tell me what to do! Every time that I called and needed you, I got your answering machine. Was It Because You Were With Sonny?
Lois: Yes.
Brenda: You never thought that I might want to know this?
Lois: You were with Jax, I would call you back and you would tell me how great life was with Jax. How Do You Think That Made Me Feel?
Brenda: I don’t care.
Lois: You should care, because you would tell me how happy you were and I knew I could never find that kind of happiness.
Brenda: So you figured you would get back at me by bedding the man that I really loved?
Lois: You have got that all wrong, Sonny and I never slept together.
Brenda: Did he tell you to say that?
Lois: Sonny doesn’t tell me what to do. It’s the truth, Bren, Sonny is like a brother to me.
Brenda: Come on Lois, you told me before that Sonny was your first crush.
Lois: I was 12 at the time, but I got over it.
Brenda: I know that every woman on this island is in love with him.
Lois: That may be true of most women here, but not me. I love Sonny, but I don’t desire him. Besides he only wants you, Brenda. Anybody can see that and I think that you want him too.
Brenda: What I want is not up for discussion.
Lois: That’s it though, you automatically think that every woman wants Sonny because you want him all the time.
Brenda: That isn’t true, there are times when I wish I had never met him.
Lois: Maybe when he isn’t in the room, but in all honesty, how long can you stand next to him and not want him to kiss you or touch you in some way? How long can you really go without wanting him so badly that you can’t live without him?
Brenda: I can live without him.
Lois: Maybe so, but why bother when you don’t have to? He feels the exact same way about you, I should know because I tried to make him stop wanting you and needing you.
Brenda: How much I want Sonny has nothing to do with the fact that you lied to me for a year!
Lois: You probably think that you can’t ever forgive me, right?
Brenda: I don’t know, it would be hard to forgive that kind of betrayal.
Lois: I understand completely.
Brenda: You do?
Lois: Yes, because after I found out that you knew all along about Ned’s double life, I just knew that I would never be able to forgive you either. How long did I stay mad at you?
Brenda: About a week.
Lois: I though that it was less than that.
Brenda: Why did you do this though?
Lois: I really thought that what Sonny needed was to get over you, I believed it up until you were about to arrive here. Sonny was frantic about getting me out of here, he never wanted you to know that I was here.
Brenda: He was wrong to do that.
Lois: That is probably true, but he was doing it for the right reasons. He didn’t want you to be hurt or confused in anyway. He loves you, Brenda, he really deeply loves you. I think he would give up anything or go to any length to make sure that you are happy. I really thought that I was helping him. I really thought that I could make Sonny learn to live without you Brenda.
Brenda: You mean the way that you have convinced yourself that you can live without Ned?
Lois: This has nothing to do with my relationship with my ex-husband.
Brenda: You mean the love of your life? Because, I know that you love Ned at least as much as Sonny loves me and I think that is why your here.
Lois: I’ll admit that my situation made me understand what Sonny was going through
Brenda: I knew it! You’re still in love with Ned!
Lois: Loving Ned isn’t the problem, living with Ned is.
Brenda: I used to say the same thing about Sonny, but I think if you really love someone you should try and make it work.
Lois: Is Ned with anyone right now?
Brenda: That doesn’t matter, if you want to be with him, you should go and fight for him.
Lois: Are you doing this to keep me away from Sonny?
Brenda: I won’t lie to you I would rather see you fighting for Ned than fighting, with me about Sonny.
Lois: Do you really think that you and Sonny can make it this time.
Brenda: I don’t want to spend my future with anybody else.
Lois: He is the man you want to raise a family with?
Brenda: Who said anything about a family?
Lois: When the doctor was examining you, he said that you might be pregnant.
Brenda: He could tell that from my unconscious form,? This doctor must be physic!
Lois: I’m serious, if you are pregnant you need to know about it, the sooner the better.
Brenda: What are you trying to get me to tell you, where I have slept with Jax lately or if Sonny and I made love?
Lois: I assumed that you and Jax haven’t been together for some time, but I know that you and Sonny were together within the last month.
Brenda: I guess you have his confidence, but that doesn’t mean that you have mine.
Lois: I regret that and I would do anything for you to trust me again.
Brenda: It may take me some time. There were times in the past year when I needed you Lois. Would it have been too much for you to have come to see me after I lost the baby or were you too busy giving Sonny a shoulder on which to cry? Every time that I called, I got your machine.
Lois: I always called you back.
Brenda: I needed your support
Her words were bitingly angry, but they also showed that she was hurt and disappointed.
Lois: I’m sorry, I thought that you had Jax and Ned, two men that I would rather have not seen.
Brenda: Jax was useless, he blamed me for losing the baby and suspected that it wasn’t even his!
Lois: I had no idea. How could Jax have accused you of being unfaithful at a time like that?
Brenda: He was right, the baby was Sonny’s.
Lois: I didn’t know.
Brenda: Well, now you do. But you can rest assured that I’m not pregnant now!
Lois: How can you be sure?
Brenda: I just am and I’m not going to share anymore about it, not with someone who wasn’t there when I needed them.
Sonny has just walked in and hears her last statement.
Sonny: Does that include me?
Brenda: *Softly* Hi
Sonny: How do you feel?
Brenda: I’m fine.
Sonny: the doctor is standing by, just in case.
Brenda: No, I’m really okay.
Lois stands up and walks to the door.
Lois: I’m going to go check on Brooke.
Sonny: before you go, do you know what happened to all the clothes that I bought for Brenda?
Lois: No.
Brenda: They were there this morning.
Sonny: They are gone now.
Lois: Weird.
She leaves the room.
Brenda: Why do they keep doing that?
Sonny: Why does who keep doing what?
Brenda: Lois and Julia keep leaving the room the minute you walk in.
Sonny: I guess they want us to feel free to talk or yell or whatever.
Brenda: Oh.
Sonny: So, do any of those feel right to you?
Brenda: I don’t know, I’m worried about my mom.
Sonny: I know, sweetheart. I’m working on finding her, right now it looks like Mike and I are going to have to go to Puerto Rico and look for her. We’re going to fly back with the doctor, right after he examines you again.
Brenda: I told you that I don’t need to be examined, I want to go with you to Puerto Rico.
Sonny: Brenda, you fainted and I’m not letting you out of this bed until I find out why that happened.
Brenda: You can’t keep me here against my will!
Sonny: You aren’t going to Puerto Rico.
Brenda: Mike will let me.
Sonny: No, we agree this time. You have us all worried, the doctor thinks that you might be pregnant.
Brenda: That is impossible!
Sonny: It’s not impossible. We made love several times in Argentina without any protection.
Brenda: It doesn’t matter.
Sonny: Of course it does, you could have easily conceived a child.
Brenda: *Tears forming in her eyes* No, you don’t understand, it isn’t possible.
Sonny: *Starting to worry* What are you talking about Brenda? We love each other, we can have a child together. We always planed on having a huge family, don’t tell me that it’s impossible.
Brenda: Sonny you aren’t the only person that has been keeping secrets. There is something that I’ve been keeping from you and you really need to know about it. Only, I’m afraid that it might change the way you feel about us.
Sonny: Nothing could change my feelings for you, Brenda.
Brenda: I just need you to hear me out on this, okay?
Sonny: *He is starting to get scared* Sure, honey.
He sits on the edge of the bed and she takes her hands in his, looking him directly in the eyes.
Brenda: *Taking a deep breath* After I lost the baby, I realized right away that Jax didn’t want a child. He and I weren’t ready for a child. The one I lost was an accident.
Sonny: Do not say that about our child Brenda! Nothing that we have ever done was an accident or a mistake!
Brenda: At the time, I didn’t suspect that the child was yours. All I knew was that Jax didn’t want it and so the doctors gave me some suggestions on ways to make sure that I didn’t accidentally get pregnant again. Sonny, some of these options were permanent.
Sonny: *Tears start to from in his eyes* God, no! don’t tell me that you took one of those options. I have already lost two children, Brenda. I can’t stand the thought that you and I will never have children of our own!
His heart is breaking and she can see that he is really hurt, she wants to explain, but he won’t give her a chance. She pulls him to her in a comforting embrace and allows his to weep freely.
Brenda: Sonny, you need to listen to me and let me explain.
Sonny: Just please tell me that isn’t what is happening, because that would just be another one of my dreams that has died! I will love you , no matter what, I just wanted us to have children together I wanted us to be a family.
Brenda is still holding Sonny, but she pulls back a little so that she can see his face.
Brenda: I need to know something, would it matter to you if I couldn’t have a child?
Sonny: It depends on what you mean by, "matter."
Brenda: I mean, would you love me any less if I could never be the mother of your children?
Sonny considers his words very carefully.
Sonny: I could never love you less, especially not for something that wasn’t your fault.
Brenda: I see, you wouldn’t love me the same way. Would you even want me as your wife?
Sonny: If we couldn’t have a family naturally, It would change our lives, and the future that I always planned for us, but it wouldn’t change the fact that I would want that future to be with you.
Brenda: You would except that.
Sonny: If you’re asking if I would still accept you, love you, and worship you, than the answer is yes. I love you with all my heart and I love you with my entire soul. There are so many things that I can imagine living without, but you aren’t one of them, Brenda. I need you to believe me when I tell you these things.
Brenda: I do believe you. Sonny, I don’t doubt that you love me.
Sonny: I never stopped loving you.
Brenda: I know that too.
Sonny: Do you believe that I would stand by you no matter what?
Brenda: I do now, but there was a time, right after I lost the baby that I really felt alone.
Sonny: I wish I could turn back time, I wish I could have been there for you.
Brenda: We can’t take back the past, we have to live in the here and now.
Sonny: If I had been there, maybe you wouldn’t have felt the need to take drastic measures to prevent any future pregnancies.
Brenda: It is hard to say. I want you to know that I did take drastic action, but I didn’t do anything that can’t be reversed.
Sonny: Do you mean that you can have a child?
Brenda: I have a choice. The doctors gave me several options, some of them were reversible and some were not. I decided to try an experimental birth control drug, as opposed to taking any measures that could not be reversed.
Sonny: You haven’t been taking a drug, Brenda, I would have noticed if you were.
Brenda: it is an injection that the doctor gives me once a month.
Sonny: If you stop taking it, then you could become pregnant?
Brenda: That was the idea. Of course, I would have to be examined by a doctor and probably be monitored after I went off the medication.
Sonny: The doctor is standing by, he hasn’t gone back to San Juan. I’ll go get him and he can examine you right away.
Brenda: Wait a minute, I think you misunderstood. I said that I can probably have a child, I didn’t say that I wanted to start a family right this moment with you!
Sonny: Can you think of any better time or a better person than me to start a family with?
Brenda: Sonny, the problems that we had last night haven’t gone away.
Sonny: I know that, but I just realized something very important a few minutes ago.
Brenda: What did you realize?
Sonny: I want this marriage to work.
Brenda: That is nice.
Sonny: *In a low voice* No, it’s fantastic. I also realize that I want a family, with you. I want you to be the mother of my children. That might not sound to original, but it’s true. If it can’t happen naturally, then we’ll adopt a kid
Brenda: *Smiling* You can’t even get the FBI to stop harassing you.
Sonny: Fine, then I’ll buy a kid or steal one or wait for him or her to come to me. I tend to attract people like that anyway.
Brenda: That’s true.
Sonny: My point is that we can be a family. If it is just the two of us at first, that’s fine. Brenda, I’ve lost two children and one wife already. I’ll be damned if I’m going to loose another one!
Brenda: Child or wife?
Sonny: I’m not going to loose another Wife! I’m not going to loose you! I know that I always told you that we didn’t have to file the marriage certificate. I just realized a few minutes ago that letting you walk away from us would be a repeat of the worst mistake of my life. I’m not letting you off the hook, sweetheart.
Brenda: You seem pretty sure of yourself.
Sonny: I’m sure of our love. I’m going to Puerto Rico to find your mother, then we are going to Argentina to file the marriage certificate together.
Brenda: You know how bad I am at following your orders?
Sonny: It isn’t an order, it is a fact! Now come here!
He pulls her to him gently, until their faces are less than and inch apart. Brenda gives him an intense look.
Brenda: *Her voice almost a whisper* Is that an order?
He answers her by giving her a very long, passionate kiss. He lowers her onto the bed and continues to kiss her mouth with increasingly intense passion.
Chapter 70
When Sonny and Brenda pull back from each other they are both breathless. Sonny holds her face tenderly in his hands and gives her and intense look.
Sonny: What do you want Brenda?
Brenda: The same thing that you want, at least it is what you just finished insisting that you want.
Sonny: You want to give our marriage a chance?
Brenda: You were right when you said that walking away would just be a repeat of the biggest mistake of our lives. You tried to walk away from me when you married Lily and found out she was pregnant, then I walked away from you after she died and I married Jax, then you left me at the altar and I left you in the penthouse a year ago. How many times are we going to do that, Sonny?
Sonny: Some of those times we thought we were doing the right thing by walking away.
Brenda: Some of the time we were doing the right thing. When you left me because you found out that Lily was pregnant, I thought that was the most beautiful thing.
Sonny: I broke your heart and left you standing in the rain.
Brenda: True, but you did it for the right reason, because you wanted to be the best father in the world.
Sonny: I can still do that Brenda, I can still be a father to our children and maybe I can put to use what I learned that night. I would love our child unconditionally and it would be the most important thing in the world to me. If Lily and I had gone on to raise a family, that would have been the end of you and me Brenda. I would have always loved you, but a child would have bonded Lily and I for life. I could have never walked away from that kind of a commitment.
Brenda: All I know is that walking away from us is something I’m tired of doing.
Sonny: Me too, see it is possible for you and me to agree on some things. We can’t walk away any more.
Brenda: Why bother to walk away? We always end up back in each others arms anyway.
Sonny: Why waste the energy trying to outrun the enviable?
Brenda: Exactly the way that I feel, but things will have to be different this time.
Sonny: They will be different, they already are different. I’m not in the organization anymore and my life isn’t in danger. There no man with a gun waiting for us, Brenda.
Brenda: Yet you continue to keep things from me?
I promise that I will never lie to you again.
Brenda: *Sighing* Why aim for the impossible, Sonny?
Sonny: I don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.
Brenda: Most of the time you don’t lie to hurt me, Sonny. It goes back to thinking that you are doing the right thing. You have done it so many time in the past that you do it without even thinking about the consequences. I don’t want you to promise me that you’ll never lie again. I want you to promise me that you will stop and think before you lie to me the next time. It may not be necessary at all to tell the lie.
Sonny: I promise. I’ll do what ever I need to do in order to make you happy and make you feel secure.
Brenda: I need to be your equal partner. I know that isn’t a foreign concept to you. I’ve seen you treat Luke and Jason and even Stone as an equal. All I’m asking for is the same vote of confidence.
Sonny: You have it, I trust you Brenda. I also have confidence in you. I know that you are strong and smart and more than capable of taking care of yourself. The fact that you don’t need me to take care of you makes it more important that you still want me at all.
Brenda: I do want you and I need you as well.
Sonny: You have made it through some of the hardest moments in your life with out me. You went through a nervious breakdown, survived loosing our child, escaped from a mental hospital and found your way here.
Brenda: I always had help.
Sonny: Maybe, but you still survived on your own. You have a strength inside you Brenda, that is so beautiful. You are not only my equal, you are the better part of me.
Brenda: You should give yourself more credit.
Sonny: Why? It’s the truth. You are the light in my life, Brenda, you are the only thing that keeps me from descending into darkness. Everything good that I have ever known or felt has come from you.
Brenda: You are a good person, you don’t need me to prove that. There are people here who love you and care about you. The life that you have built here has nothing to do with me.
Sonny: My life isn’t complete without you, sweetheart.
Brenda: Neither is mine. You are right, we are soul mates, two halves of the same whole.
Sonny: Now, all I need to do is put your wedding ring back on your finger where it belongs.
Brenda: I have it right her.
She takes the chain from around her neck and hands the ring to Sonny. He places it on her finger and then kisses her hand.
Sonny: I love you.
Brenda: I love you too and I want to spend the rest of my life beside you.
Sonny: How about if you spend it in my arms?
Brenda: How about if we spend it in each others arms?
Sonny opens his arms and she falls into his embrace.
Sonny: I think I can live with that, but this is it Brenda, we are playing for keeps. I’m not ever going to let you go again.
Brenda: I think I can live with that.
She gives him an intense look as he takes her face tenderly in his hands. They kiss passionately, eager to fulfill each others ever desire. They loose all track of time and the world around them as they melt into each other. They are both so consumed in each other, that they don’t notice Mike has just walked into the room.
Mike: Oh boy, I guess my timing is really bad.
Sonny pulls away from his wife, but still holds her in his arms.
Sonny: What else is new? You know what I’m going to do right after I get back from Puerto Rico?
Brenda: *Running her hand across his bearded face* Shave, hopefully.
Sonny: No, I’m going to get a lock for that bedroom door!
Mike: I didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s just that the helicopter pilot is getting a little anxious to leave.
Sonny: I pay him to be patient.
Mike: The doctor really needs to get back to the main island as well.
Brenda: You should probably go then.
Sonny: I want the doctor to examine you before he goes back to San Juan.
Brenda: I don’t need a doctor, Sonny, at least not that doctor.
Sonny: *Disappointed* I know that.
Mike: *Worried* Why do you need a doctor?
Brenda: I don’t really need to see a doctor, I just need a general physical, but I need to go see the doctor that has been seeing me in Port Charles.
Sonny: Okay, I can arrange that, after I get back.
Brenda gets a knot in her stomach and Sonny know what she is thinking.
Sonny: I’m coming back, Brenda.
Brenda: I know.
Sonny: Do you really?
Brenda: I’m trying to trust you on this Sonny.
Mike; He’ll come back, because he knows that I’ll hunt him down if he doesn’t.
Sonny: You should know that if I wanted to run away, the last person that I would take with me is Mike!
Mike: Wait a minute, you could be planning on dumping me somewhere!
Sonny: What do you think I’m going to do, dump you out of the helicopter once we get over the ocean?
Mike: I’m not sitting next to the door, that is for sure!
Sonny: I’m trying to reassure her and you aren’t helping.
Brenda: Sonny, I know that you’re not running out on me. I know that you’re going to come back.
Sonny: Yeah and do you know what I want to do when I get back?
Brenda: Go to Argentina and file the marriage certificate?
Sonny: Yeah, then after that I want to marry you again.
Brenda: Wouldn’t that be bigamy?
Sonny: I don’t think so. What I mean is that I want to do something public to let our friends and family know that we are committed to each other.
Brenda: Where is this coming from?
Sonny: I want to do this because there are some people that think that just because they weren’t at our wedding, it means that I’m not serious about being your husband.
Brenda: *Teasing* Who would think something like that?
Sonny: *Glaring at Mike* Cynics, I guess. So I’ll come back and we can go to Argentina and then we’ll do something to publicly celebrate.
Brenda: *To Mike* Did your son just say that he wanted to have a party to celebrate our marriage?
Mike: I think he did.
Brenda: He wants to have a party where he has to feed and socialize with all of my friends that hate him?
Mike: That is what it sounds like to me.
Sonny: That is what I said, I want the whole world to know how much I love you, so start planing it.
Brenda: Mike, you’re my witness, when he tries to back out of this party.
Sonny: Mike is the witness, why do you find this hard to believe?
Mike: This is just so out of character for you, Michael.
Sonny: Being happy?
Mike: Wanting the world to know that you’re happy.
Sonny gives Brenda a loving look
Sonny: What can I say, I’m inspired.
Mike: Being happy is one thing, wanting the whole world to know about it is
Brenda: *Finishing his statement* Is so optimistic.
Sonny: I want the whole world to know how much I love my wife and how much I love her. If I could, I would shout it from the roof tops!
He takes Brenda’s hands in own and looks directly into her eyes.
Sonny: The most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world wants to spend her life with me. I don’t even deserve for you to give me the time of day, yet here you are willing to give me a chance.
Brenda: I was born loving you, you are the only person that has really ever made me happy. I don’t have much choice except to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike starts to feel as if he is intruding on a very private moment and wonders if he should leave. Before he makes it to the door Sonny stops him.
Sonny: Mike, since your just hanging around, will you make yourself useful by answering a question?
Mike: I’ll give it a try.
Sonny: Do you by any chance still have my mother’s engagement ring?
Mike: It’s around.
Sonny: I would kind of like to give it to Brenda.
Mike: Right now?
Sonny: That is the idea. Unless you don’t want it, sweetheart.
Brenda: Why wouldn’t I want it?
Sonny: Because I gave it to you the first time and then left you at the altar.
Brenda: That ring was given to me in love the first time. What happened after was not its fault. That ring is a beautiful symbol of our love, of course I want it.
Sonny: What do you say Mike, do you have the ring?
Mike: Do I look like the type of guy who walks around with an engagement ring?
Sonny: Actually, you kind of do.
Brenda gives Mike a hopeful look. He reaches into a pocket and pulls out a small box.
Sonny: I knew it!
Brenda: You carried that ring around for 2 years?
Mike: What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic.
Sonny: You’re hopeless all right.
He takes Brenda’s hand.
Sonny: This is actually kind of backwards. Usually you give a person the engagement ring and then the wedding ring.
Mike: Leave it to you to redefine convention.
Brenda closes her eyes as Sonny slips the ring on her finger. When she opens them and sees the ring, her eyes shine.
Sonny: You are my wife, Brenda, but I will go through whatever ceremony that you want in order to prove it to the world. I don’t need the acceptance of the world in order to sanctify our marriage, but I want it.
Brenda: The fact that you would say this to me and give me this ring, means everything.
Sonny: I hope that you will wear both of the rings not as a symbol that you belong to me. Because you don’t belong to me. Wear the rings as a symbol of our unending love, and a sign that our hearts belong to each other.
Sonny is still holding her hand in his, he doesn’t really want to let go, but he has little choice when she embraces him tightly. He wants to kiss her beautiful lips, but he suddenly feels strange doing so with Mike standing there. Mike recognizes the awkwardness of the moment and slips out of the room. Brenda pulls out of Sonny’s arms and follows Mike into the living room.
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