From: "The Jolly Green Giant" House of Cards - Chapter 21 by Jennifer T. Brooks E-mail: Jenntou@excite.com ************************************************ "And what the hell is this Who made this bloody mess And someone always answers like a martyr Is it something you should know, did you ever do your best Would you be saved if you were brave and just tried harder" Shawn Colvin "If I were Brave" ************************************************ Dana Scully's Apartment Georgetown September 14, 1999 6:00 pm Upon hearing Scully mutter "help" on the phone and nothing else, Diana Fowley quickly dialed EMS on her cell phone as she ran towards her car. After giving them instructions on where Dana lived, she then called Fox Mulder. "May I please speak with Fox?" Diana hurriedly said into the phone upon hearing Natasha's sickening sweet greeting. "May I tell him who's calling?" Natasha asked even though she recognized the voice as belonging to Diana. "Diana," She said while driving as fast as she could towards Dana's. This was an emergency. She didn't have time to waste talking to Fox Mulder's dim bulb of a wife. Diana heard some mumbling in the background before Fox got on the phone. "Hi Diana, what's up?" "Do you still have the key to Dana's?" She asked him. "Yes, why?" She sounded panicked and he wondered what was up. "Great. I need you to meet me there in 10 minutes." "What's going on Diana?" He was starting to get concerned. It wasn't every day that she called him, much less asking for the key to Dana's. Something had to be wrong. "Something's wrong with Dana. I've called an ambulance and I'm on my way there now." "I'm on my way," He said to her as he hung up the phone. He grabbed his jacket and was putting it on when Natasha stopped him. "Where are you going Fox? Dinner is almost ready. I fixed pork chops." "I'm sorry Natasha, but this is an emergency." He really didn't like pork chops anyway. "What is going on? Is it something with Diana?" "No," He said trying while trying to avoid eye contact with his wife. He really didn't want to get into an argument with her right now over Scully. She was all they ever fought about these days. She was convinced that they either had or were having an affair and no amount of denial on his part made a difference to her. "It's about Dana Scully isn't it? What's wrong with her this time? Had a few too many beers to drink? Or let me guess, she was arrested for public indecency and intoxication and you have to go bail her out?" She hated Dana Scully. Wendy had been right about her from the beginning, she was after her man and would stop at nothing to get him. "Look, can we talk about this later. I need to go now," He said impatiently. "Where are you going?" "To her apartment to meet Diana." "Why do you have to go? Why can't Diana take care of her this time" "Because I have the key to her place and I need to unlock it for the paramedics. Are you satisfied, do I have permission to leave?" He finished putting on his jacket and had his hand on the door knob. "You have a key to her apartment. You have a key to another woman's apartment?" She asked in disbelief. How many more little secrets did her husband neglect to tell her about? "I'll talk to you about this later." He opened the door and shut it behind him. Natasha picked up the closest thing in her reach, which happened to be a Lalique crystal vase which Dana Scully had given them as a wedding present, and threw it against the door as hard as she could, shattering it into thousands of tiny pieces. ****************************************************** Dana Scully's Apartment Georgetown September 14, 1999 6:20 pm Fox Mulder found Diana pacing in front of Dana's door. The EMS crew had arrived ten minutes before and were about to break down the door when he arrived. He quickly unlocked the door and the paramedics rushed in. Diana immediately raced back to Dana's bedroom while Fox Mulder looked in the bathroom and kitchen. The two EMS paramedics looked throughout the rest of the apartment for her, figuring that it would be quicker if they let the woman's friends find her. Diana found her lying face down on the bedroom floor. "She's in here," Diana yelled as loud as she could. The two paramedics came running into the bedroom followed by Fox Mulder. "We need you to move out of the way," A tall blond paramedic whose name tag identified him as Brulacheck told her. Fox Mulder stood transfixed in the doorway. He could not believe that this was happening. Why did this kind of crap always have to happen to him? How the hell was he going to explain why he missed diner yet again? He had hoped that when Diana called him needing immediate access to Dana's apartment, it would've turned out to be a hoax that they could laugh about later. He didn't expect this. Anything but this. "Her vital signs are weak. Do either of you know what happened?" Brulacheck asked them as he continued to work on her. He was hoping that her friends would be able to provide some type of clue as to what had happened. "She called me a little while ago saying that she needed help. She sounded like something was really wrong,"Diana said regretting that she was not able to tell them more than that. She didn't know what the hell was wrong with Dana and had been surprised by her call. "Until we get her to the hospital and run some tests, we won't know for sure what we're dealing with, but the evidence does suggest a drug overdose," Brulacheck said as he picked up the bottle of medication laying next to Dana and handed it to his partner, Danny Clark. Clark looked at the label and counted the number of pills left in the bottle. "Is she going to die?" Fox Mulder asked. He couldn't lose her. Not like this. He had things to tell her, things that had always known that he would, sooner or later. He was terrified at the thought of Scully not being in his life. "Probably not, but you never know with this type of thing." Clark picked up the bottle of Vodka next to her and placed it in the bag with the pills. He hoped that this lady had not consumed a large quantity of the pills with the alcohol or she might never wake up. Of course he would never tell the two worried onlookers that. Clark and Brulacheck placed Dana gently on the stretcher and readied her for transport. "Can I go with you?" Diana asked them. "No Diana, I want to go," Mulder said, interrupting her. "Fox, I'll go with her. You call her mother and Skinner and let them know what's happening." She followed the paramedics out of the apartment before he had time to answer her. ****************************************************** Georgetown University Hospital September 15, 1999 3:30 pm "Looks like this is getting to be a habit," Fox Mulder said to Dana Scully upon entering her hospital room. He had been by to see her three times earlier in the day but she hadn't been awake. Her doctor had told him that she was lucky that she hadn't gone into a coma. Dana Scully didn't say anything to him in return, she just stared at him. She looked like absolute hell. Her hair clung limp and lifeless to the side of her head. He wasn't sure which was whiter, the sheets she was laying on or her face. In stark contrast to her pale skin, she had the darkest circles under her eyes that he had ever seen. She looked like she had not slept or eaten in weeks. "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine." Shades of the old Dana Scully were showing through. She was fine. "How long are you going to be in?" Fox Mulder asked. He found it ironic after everything they'd been through, separately and together, they would have at least have more to talk about than her health. "I'm being discharged tomorrow," She said matter of factly, not making eye contact with him. It wasn't intentional. "You had me worried Scully," Mulder said as he lackadaisically approached her bed. "You need not be worried, I'm fine." "You don't look it." He tried to pick up her hand but she jerked it away from him. He noticed that she still had not looked at him. "I'm fine," She said through clenched teeth. "I can't help but be worried about you, Scully." "It's not your job Mulder," She said as she finally made eye contact with him. "You have a wife, go home to her." Ouch, that was a mean thing to say. She couldn't help her reaction to Mulder. She was still mad at him for what he had done, but a part of her wanted to forgive him. She wanted her old friend back. She thought about him constantly, what he was doing, what he was thinking, if he was happy. But the shiny band on his ring finger always brought her back to reality. "I'm your friend Scully, at least I used to be your friend, "Mulder said as he tried to pick up her hand again. "I would like to be your friend again if you will let me." That was as close as he was ever going to come to asking for forgiveness again. "I can't Mulder. I can't," Scully said. They needed to go on with their lives. The tie needed to be severed. She knew that Mulder wasn't strong enough and that she would have to be the one to push him away. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. I'm here for you Scully. When you are ready to accept me as your friend once again you know where to find me." He left the room quickly leaving alone with her thoughts. ******************************************************* Georgetown University Hospital September 15, 1999 4:15 pm "Dana, how are you feeling?" Maggie Scully asked upon approaching her daughter's bed. "I'm fine," Dana replied. "You had me scared to death. I thought I'd lost you again." "It wasn't that dramatic, mom." "They said you tried to kill yourself. Why would you do that Dana? Why? How could you even think that your life wasn't worth living?" "I didn't try to kill myself, mom." "Then would you mind explaining to me what happened. It's not every day my daughter winds up in the emergency room having her stomach pumped." "You have been watching ER too much. It wasn't that dramatic." "What happened Dana? How did you end up in the hospital then? Why did they have to pump your stomach?" "I don't know." "You don't know? How can you not know. Did you do it for fun?" "Of course not." "Then how did you wind up in the hospital. The hospital psychiatrist told me that he wants to admit you to a special hospital that can help you." "No, I'm not going. I don't need help. I'm fine." "He told me that you would probably say that." "Will you listen to me? I did *not* try to kill myself." "You need help, Dana." "No, I don't." "I know that this was your cry for help. Did you do this because of me? Was this my fault?" "You think that this is your fault? I can't believe you." "Why else would you try to kill yourself?" "I didn't try to kill myself." "I want you to get help Dana. I want you to go to that hospital." "No, absolutely not." "The doctor said that if you won't go willingly that we can go to court and get guardianship over you and make you go." "You wouldn't mom, you wouldn't." "I don't want to Dana, but I don't know what else to do. You almost died of alcohol poisoning. You are alarmingly thin once again and you tried to kill yourself. They found not only large doses of prescription medicine in your blood, but traces of cocaine and marijuana. When did you start using drugs? When?" "They're wrong. They lied to you. Do I look like I use drugs?" "Tests don't lie Dana. Please enter the program voluntarily. I don't want to have to be the one that forces you to get help." "I don't need help. I have everything under control." "And that's why you're in the hospital. You're giving me no choice. Either you enter the program on your own or I will get medical guardianship of you and place you in the program myself. It's your decision Dana." Maggie thought that telling her daughter that Walter Skinner was her father was one of the hardest things that she ever had to do, she was wrong. This was far worse. "You wouldn't dare." "This is not a game, Dana. This is your life. This is serious. You have a problem and you need help. I am doing this for your own good." "Your right mom, this is my life, not yours. I didn't ask for your help and I sure as hell don't need it. I'm sure that you thought by telling me that Walter Skinner was my father, you were helping me too." "That was uncalled for Dana." "I don't think it was." "Lash out at whoever you want, that's fine with me. You are entering that treatment program whether it is on your own or by a court order," Maggie said as she quietly left the room. Dana thought that it was odd that her mother never sat down. ******************************************************* Georgetown University Hospital September 15, 1999 5:20 pm "You're looking a little better," Blake Maxwell said to Dana upon entering her hospital room. Like Fox Mulder, he had also been by to see her several times since she was admitted to the hospital. "Well, I feel a little better." She was embarrassed that he had to see her in this condition. He stepped closer to the bed. "Don't you *ever* scare me like that again Dana. You don't know how worried I was when I found out that you tried to kill yourself again. My poor heart can't take it," He said as he clutched his hands to his chest. "I didn't try to kill myself, Blake." "That's to be expected. The hospital counselor said that you would try to deny it. I've been told that some shrink is going to come by later to talk you." Before he was allowed to see her he had to meet with the counselor. He was lectured on what he could and couldn't say to her in fear of upsetting her so called delicate mental balance. "What counselor?" she asked. "The hospital counselor, has something to do with suicide prevention. I don't know, I wasn't paying that close of attention to her job title. Didn't they tell you about her? Hasn't she been in to see you? I assumed that it was normal with suicide attempts." "Blond, five foot six, really bad breath. And for the record, I didn't try to kill myself," She said once again. "That would be the one," He confirmed. "She was in earlier today trying to talk me into entering some type of physiatric hospital. She said that I was deeply troubled and that there were several good places in the local area that could help me," Dana said mimicking with the counselor had told her. "Have you thought about going to one of them?" He asked knowing that the question was not going to be well received. "Of course not. Why would I go?" "I can think of several reasons. Sex, drugs, alcohol, suicide attempt. Do you want me to keep listing more reasons, Dana?" He was always brutally honest with her, almost to a fault. "I told you, I didn't try to kill myself," She said once again, rasing her voice. "Okay, you didn't try to kill yourself. Would you mind explaining to me how you ended up here?" "I guess I had a little too much to drink and not enough to eat." "And how do you explain the drugs they found in your system? They had to pump your stomach Dana! The counselor told me that with the combination of drugs and alcohol you took, you're lucky to be alive." "What drugs?" "I don't know what they were called. Some kind of antidepressant." "I don't remember taking any drugs, Blake." "Which is why you need help. Please Dana. I have never asked you to do anything before, but I am asking you, no I'm pleading with you now, to get help." "I know that I have really messed things up, Blake. But I don't want to be locked up in a hospital. Blake sat down on her bed and took her hand in his. "You know, I blame myself for this mess." "You blame yourself, why?" "I should have seen the signs. I knew that something was wrong with you and I should have made you tell me. I had no idea that you would try to kill yourself." His eyes started watering and he made no effort to wipe them. Dana reached up and wiped the tears out of his eyes with her fingers. "Blake, I know that I have problems, but I swear to you that I wasn't trying to kill myself. I didn't. I didn't." "Do you know what that would do to me if you ever tried? It would devastate me. You are the person I am closest to in my life, you are my family. You mean everything to me. I couldn't bear to live another day if you weren't there beside me." He continued to silently cry while looking at her. His tears were infectious as she started crying at his kind words. "I'm so sorry Blake. I'm sorry for shutting you out. I'm sorry for everything." She sat up and hugged him tightly letting him cry on her shoulder. "Don't ever scare me like that again." "I won't. I promise. I'm sorry," She said through her sobs. Blake hugged her harder. "I want you to get help. I want my best friend back," He said as he hugged her. "I'm scared Blake. I'm scared." She pulled out of his embrace and looked at him. "What are you afraid of?" "What if I fail? What if I can't overcome this addiction," She said as she reached out and grabbed his hand. "You only fail if you do nothing, Dana, can't you see that. I'm here for you, and will always be here for you. I want to help you, you just have to let me." "I want to get better, Blake, I do. I don't want to live my life like this anymore." "If I find a good treatment center for you, will you go?" "Yes," Dana said, tears streaming down her face, as she smiled for the first time in months. End of chapter 21.