House of Cards - Chapter 12 By Jennifer T. Brooks E-Mail: Jenntou@excite.com *********************************************** Georgetown University Hospital Cafeteria April 19, 1999 8:30 pm "What the hell was that?" Mulder asked as he and Blake entered the cafeteria. "Mulder, how well do you know Dana?" Blake asked. "Pretty well, why?" "What has she told you about her childhood?" "She really hasn't talked much about it. I always assumed that she grew up with the cookie baking girl scout mother. Are you saying this isn't the case?" "No, what is your impression of Maggie Scully?" "She always seemed like the perfect mother to me. She has always been wonderful. If I could chose who I wanted my mother to be I would have chose Maggie Scully in a heartbeat." "I think most people would." "Except for Scully?" Mulder asked. "I don't really know how much I can tell you without betraying her confidence. I guess I can tell you this much. There's a reason why Dana is the way she is." "I credit her parents for instilling in her the desire to excel in academics. She's one of the smartest and strongest people I know. If she didn't have wonderful parents that cared about her that much she might have been a different person," Mulder said making the assumption that most people mistakenly made. "Look Mulder. I really think you should talk with her about what it was like to grow up Maggie Scully's daughter. Maggie and Bill Scully might have appeared to have been wonderful parents but that's far from the truth." "Are you implying that they abused her and her siblings? What did they spank her one times to many?" Mulder said joking. "The abuse wasn't physical Mulder." "That leaves sexual, which I highly doubt was the case, and mental. Are you implying that the Scully's mentally abused Dana and her siblings?" "I'm not implying anything. I'm just stating the facts. However, to my knowledge and from what Dana has told me she was the only one affected." "Why would they single out a child?" Mulder asked thinking back to what he knew about emotional abuse. "It is something Dana and I have never been able to figure out," Blake said while checking his watch. "Why don't we head back. I am sure that Bill and Maggie will be gone by now," Blake said to Mulder as he stood up. ******************************************* Georgetown University Hospital April 19, 1999 9:00 pm. Blake quietly knocked on Dana's door and entered her room. He noticed that she was quietly staring out the window. He quietly approached her bed as Mulder stood near the door. "Are you alright?" Blake asked her. "No," She said as she started to cry again. Blake sat down in bed beside her and put his arms around her while she cried. "I'm sorry that Mulder and I left. I just didn't want to be in the room for another Scully family blowout." "Oh god, Mulder saw it all. I never wanted him to see that side of me. He'll hate me. He loves my mother. He wasn't supposed to be there. He wasn't supposed to know. Where is he?" Scully asked unaware that Mulder was in the hospital room. "I'm right here Scully," Mulder said as he stepped out from the shadows where she could see him. "How much did you see earlier?" She asked him. "Enough to know that family relations in the Scully family are strained." "That's a nice way to put it. I can explain." "Scully, it isn't your job to explain the things you said to your mom and Bill and they said to you." "I do have to explain. You and my mother are friends. I don't want that to be ruined." "You and I are friends first and foremost Scully. My loyalty is to you, not your mother. I always thought you had a good relationship with your mother Scully. Was that just an act that you both put on?" Mulder asked confused. "I don't know anymore, Mulder," Dana Scully said as she started to cry. The events of the day were getting to her and she was having a hard time not letting her feelings show. "Why does Bill hate Blake so much?" Mulder asked trying to change the subject away from her to something she could talk about without getting so upset.. "He thinks that I moved out of my parents house to be with Blake, but that wasn't the case." "Why did you move out?' Mulder asked. "Why does any child ever leave home Mulder? It's complicated. It was the right thing for me to do at the time." "Why was it the right thing to do? Did your parents mentally abuse you Scully?" Mulder asked. Scully looked up Blake. "You told him. How dare you tell him. You had no right to Blake," Scully angrily said to Blake. "Dana, give it up. He knew after seeing that lovely family argument that your family wasn't quite the picture of perfection that you so lovingly paint. He figured out that something was wrong. I just filled in the blanks." "How did they emotionally abuse you?" Mulder asked wanting to get back on topic. He didn't want Scully's anger at Blake be an excuse for not talking about the real issue.. "I don't want to talk about it Mulder. I'm tired and want to go to sleep." "No Dana, I'm tired of you trying to hide your emotions from me. You can be honest with Blake. Why aren't you honest with me?" "Blake and I go way back Mulder. Blake has been there for me through everything I have gone through. He understands me in a way that you never will or can understand," She said not meaning to sound spiteful. "I have been with you through a lot these past six years too. I thought that I knew you well but I'm beginning to see that there has been a lot going on that I never knew about," Mulder said dismayed. "You do know me." "No, I know the parts of you that you want me to know." "Mulder, I live with the thought that Blake knows what kind of person I'm and what I'm capable of doing. It is hard enough having him know that about me. I don't want to burden anyone else." "Scully, that's what friends are for. I'm not just a part time friend that you show your good side to. I know that you aren't perfect and I don't expect you to be. Being a friend isn't a burdensome task. If I didn't want to be your friend, I wouldn't. I am not asking you to tell me your deep dark secrets. I just want to know what it was like growing up a Scully." "Okay, fine. You want to know what it was like growing up Margaret and Bill Scully's daughter? It was hell. I realized when I was 5 or 6 that my parents treated me differently from Melissa, Bill and Charlie. At the time I didn't know if it was intentional or not. I just figured that my parents had a lot of kids to spread their love and time with. Bill was always getting into trouble growing up and my dad spent a lot of time disciplining him. Charlie was a baby and constantly wined for attention. Melissa was the drama queen always demanding my parents attention for a fashion show or play that she was putting on. There seemed to be no room for me in the family. I thought that if I was a really good student they would notice that I was doing something good and praise me for it. All during middle school I had a 4.0 GPA, but that never seemed enough. My dad would say things to me like, 4.0 is good Dana but you can do better than that. Bill is on the football team, now that's a great accomplishment'. So I kept on studying because it was expected of me and I joined the cross country and track teams. My freshman year I was state cross country champion. When I brought that trophy back home I thought my parents would finally say great job Dana, we're proud of you', but that never came. I got the that's nice but we don't have any room for the trophy on the mantel because of all Melissa's beauty pageant and Bill's football trophies'. After a while I became maniacal about trying to please them. I joined the chess club, debate team, swim team, national honor society and Latin club. They could have cared less. I may as well have been smoking pot behind the school with Charlie. I woke up one day and discerned that they were never going to care about me or what I did so why bother trying to please them. It was at that point that I started working my ass off for me so that I could get out of the house into a good college. My father once told me that he didn't have enough money to send both his daughters to college, so if I wanted to go I was on my own. They never gave me a dime to help me. Melissa, Bill and Charlie all went to private colleges courtesy of my parents. So there you have it Mulder. Any questions?" Dana said as she sat back against her bed and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Dana. I always assumed that you had a wonderful childhood. I had no idea," Mulder said trying to make sense out of her revelation. "It's okay Mulder. It is in the past, no sense in dwelling on it." "It is obvious that you still carry around a lot of pain." "Pain that I have learned to live with. Mulder, I have accepted my mother for who she is. Sure, she could have done a better job but that could be said for most parents. My mother is my mother and she isn't going to change." "What is Bill's problem?" Mulder asked. "Bill seems to think that since our father is dead he's the figurehead of the family and should have the say so in all our lives. Charlie just ignores him but I try to tolerate him for my mothers sake." "Why bother?" "Sometimes it is much easier to just listen to what he says so he will leave you alone than argue with him." "That doesn't sound like you to just give up Scully." "I'm not giving up, I'm just trying to maintain peace in the house." "Why the hell would you care if they ignore you?" "Why does a dog go back to the master that beat him? Because they are still my family and always will be Mulder," Dana Scully explained. "Blake, how do you fit into all of this?" Mulder asked confused.. "I occupy the role of the hated friend who turned Dana against her family." "Hey, that's my role," Fox Mulder joked. "But it was originally mine. Basically, I showed Dana what it was like to feel respected, admired, noticed and loved. That was all it took for her to wonder why she wasn't getting that at home." "It must have been horrible for you Scully." "It wasn't that bad Mulder. I survived and I'm a better person because of my upbringing. My parents could have been much worse. I could have been physically abused or neglected. They fed, clothed and cared for me. I knew that I was loved." "Stop trying to rationalize their behavior. Any type of abuse is destructive to a child." "I know that. I'm just saying that my childhood wasn't as awful as you are probably imagining. I wasn't locked in the closet or kept down in the basement." "You may as well have been." "That's what I have been trying to tell her for the last 18 years," Blake interjected. "Okay, fine. My parents were horrible people and my childhood was awful. There, is that admission that you want?" "Only if you really mean it Dana. For some reason for the time that I have known you, you've refused to recognize your parents behavior for what it was, abuse. You've told me story after story, when pressured, about how you were treated differently than your siblings. I have seen firsthand how your brother Bill and parents treat you. Yet, for someone so intelligent you refuse to recognize that your family is dysfunctional and your childhood was not a good one." "But it was good. I was taken care of." "Being taken care of doesn't make for a good childhood. Even I know that Scully. I had a shitty childhood. My parents blamed me for Sam's disappearance and I paid for it through my adolescence. A good childhood is knowing that you are loved unconditionally for being yourself. Can you honestly say that you had that." "Yes." "Be honest for once in your life Scully. Can you honestly say you grew up knowing that your parents loved you unconditionally. Could you have done anything you wanted, made mistakes and had your parents not think any less of you? I don't think so. I think you know deep down that if you didn't succeed and excel at everything you did there would have been repercussions. Why can't you admit that your parents love was lacking and conditional at best?" Mulder asked. "Because it hurts to much to think that my parents didn't love me. I'm sure that they did, in their own ways," Scully whispered. Mulder sat down on the bed beside her and held her in his arms comforting her. Blake got up off the bed and looked out the window. ********************************************** After her discharge from the hospital Dana Scully spent a week at home recuperating before returning to her job. Her mother had come by to visit her several times, bringing soup and other foods. Bill had seen her once before returned to his family in San Diego. Fox Mulder came by her apartment daily to visit and give her the latest gossip. His wedding was approaching and he enthusiastically shared all his wedding and honeymoon plans with her. Diana, Natasha and Wendy were waiting for her to recover before planning the bachelorette party. Blake and Claire made several visits to assure that she was eating and taking care of herself. Dana continued to see Karen Kosoff and Dr. Susan Lowenstein on a regular basis. She was eating once again and regaining her appetite. She had stayed true to her word to Susan and had not exercised. Susan wanted to make sure that Dana's physical health was better and that she was eating on a normal schedule before she was allowed to exercise. Dana missed running but she knew that she had to do what Susan wanted her to do in order to get better. Karen Kosoff had been alerted to her weight problem and Dana had to pass regular weight checks with her to be kept on active duty. It pissed her off that Karen had been told and that she was now accountable to her. But, she knew that if she wanted to keep her job she would have to follow the rules. *************************************************. Home of Maggie Scully May 10, 1999 Walter Skinner knocked on her door hoping that Maggie Scully was home. He had not seen or spoken to her since she admitted her deepest darkest secret to him. She wasn't the only one that could keep secrets. He wondered what she would say or do if she found out his little secret? "Walter," Maggie Scully said as she opened the door. "Maggie. May I come in?" He asked "Sure, I'm sorry. You'll have to excuse my bad manners. Please come in," She said as she opened her front door and welcomed him into her house. She took his jacket and led him to the living room where he sat down on the plaid oversized sofa. "So, what brings you by these parts?" She asked as if he were only a friend stopping by that she had not seen in years. "I think you know why I'm here. I want to talk about Dana," He said as he looked around the room. "What about Dana," Maggie asked. "Maggie, you say that like I have no reason to want to know about her. You can't drop a bomb on me like that and not expect me to do anything about it." "I don't know what you want or expect from me Walter." "I don't know either, Maggie. I'm still in shock from finding out I have a daughter that's 34 years old." "I'm sorry Walter, I never wanted you to find out." "I had a right to know Maggie. She was my daughter, not Bill's. I would have liked the chance to have known her. I have missed 34 years of her life that I should have been a part of. You had that time with her while I was cheated out of it. Do you even know what that's like Maggie? Of course not, you had four perfect children to raise and love while I had none. My whole life all I wanted was to be a father and you stole that chance from me." "I wanted to tell you Walter. I really did. When I found out I was pregnant I was elated to realize that the baby was yours and not Bills. I wanted your child more than anything. I knew that if I couldn't have and love you than at least I would have a part of you through your child. When Bill found out that I was pregnant he immediately knew that the baby wasn't his." "How could be have known Maggie. He came home a week after you and I were last together?" "Bill and I had been having marital difficulties for some time. We had not slept in the same bed together since before Melissa was born and when I found out that I was pregnant, there was no way he could have been the father and he knew it." "Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant? I would have gladly taken you and the kids into my home." "Bill said that his wife wasn't going to disgrace him by having another man's baby. If I wanted to leave him and have my bastard child, that was fine by him. He said that Bill jr and Melissa were staying with him. I could leave but I couldn't take them. He said that if I divorced him and sued for custody I would lose because I was the whore of a wife that was pregnant with another man's baby." "Oh Maggie, did he know that I was Dana's father?" "I don't think so Walter. I cut off all contact with you because I didn't want him to know that it was you. The whole time I was pregnant all I heard was If I ever find out who did this to me I'm going to kill him.' He was serious Walter, I loved you too much to let him hurt you." "I had no idea Maggie. If I had known I would have taken you and the kids away where he would have never found us," Walter said softly. "Our love and betrayal ruined my life, I could not let it ruin yours also." "Why did you change her name from Mary?" "I had named her Mary but Bill decided out of the blue that he wanted to name her Dana Katherine after an old girlfriend of his." "Ouch." "I know. He said he wanted to remind me every time I said her name of my sins." "Was Bill always this much of an asshole Maggie?" "No, he was a wonderful charming man when I met and married him. He was a great father to Bill jr and Melissa. Sometime after I had Melissa he began to change. I think that a lot of it had to do with the stress of having two kids and a demanding career. We started having problems about the time that he met you and Sharon. My problems with Bill didn't end until I gave him another son." "Was he a good father to her, Maggie?" Walter asked not sure if he wanted to know the answer. "I think he was as good of a father as he knew how to be to her. Dana was a difficult child and raising her wasn't easy. She was always wanting our attention, always trying to prove that she was smarter or better than her siblings. You know, the usual childhood antics." "Do you have any pictures of her?" Walter asked. "I'm sure that I have a couple in the family photo album," Maggie proceeded to get a box of photo albums down from the shelf. She handed several to him. "Does Dana have a baby album?" "No, Bill didn't want her to have one. He said it would only serve to remind him that she wasn't his child." "She shouldn't have had to grown up with that man, Maggie." "He was a good father to her Walter." Maggie proceeded to guide Walter Skinner through the family photo albums. Walter noticed that the only pictures of Dana in the album was when she was part of a group. There were no studio pictures or candid shots of her alone as there were of the other kids. He was saddened to see that Dana didn't have as good of a childhood as she could have. After an hour of viewing the complete Scully family pictorial history Walter was ready to bring up a very touchy subject. "Maggie, do you think that we should tell Dana?" "Heavens no, Walter," Maggie gasped as she paled. "Doesn't she have the right to know?" "What purpose would it serve. It would only make her upset and more cynical than she already is. She would be heartbroken to find out that the man she loved so dearly wasn't her father." "What about my rights Maggie. I'm her father. Don't I have the right to have a relationship with her." "I suppose you do Walter. I'm not sure how to even go about it or how she would react. Some things like this are better kept secret. I can't tell her Walter. I can't. This would destroy everything," Maggie said as she pleaded with him. The decision had been made. Dana Scully wouldn't find out that Walter Skinner was her biological father. Walter Skinner wasn't entirely sure that he could have a fatherly relationship with the woman who was once his lover. They never noticed that out on the street, a man in an inconspicuous van was taping their whole conversation. ********************************************** FBI Headquarters Washington DC May 14, 1999 10 am Dana Scully opened a plain brown envelope located in her in box. She thought it was strange that the envelope bore no return address or postage. She carefully pulled out a thin sheet of paper upon which was written. You aren't who you think you are. Scully thought as she got up from her chair and took the note to Mulder's office down the hall. She quickly knocked on the door and entered without waiting for a response. "Mulder, I got this in the mail. Can you look at it for me?" She said as she entered the room. She then noticed that Mulder was not alone. Natasha was sitting on his lap. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'll just come back later," She said as she started to leave. "Wait Scully. It's alright. Natasha is going to be my wife in a couple of weeks. You may as well get used to seeing her in my office. What did you want me to take a look at?" He said as he put on his glasses. "I'll see you later honey," Natasha said as she got up off his lap and made her way to the door. "Scully, are you going to come over for dinner tonight?" Natasha asked her as she opened the door. "Sure." "Great," Natasha said with a smile as she closed the door. Scully found it hard to hate Natasha. She was the nicest, kindest person Scully had ever known. She had spent many evenings getting to know her. It wasn't her fault that she had fallen in love and was going to marry the one man that Scully loved. "Isn't she great Scully?" Mulder asked. "She truly is Mulder. You are one lucky man." "So is this what you wanted me to look at?" He said as he grabbed the paper out of her hand. "Uh, yes. I received it in the mail today. No address or postage. What do you suppose it means?" She asked as she sat down in the chair across from his desk. Since she had been reassigned from the X-Files Mulder had not been given a partner. Mulder read the note. You aren't who you think you are ' "I have no idea Scully. Looks like someone is trying to tell you something. Have you received anything else like this?" "Not that I know of." "I don't think it means anything right now. Someone could be playing a joke and trying to mess with your head. Be on the look out for anything suspicious." "Great Mulder, you've just reassured me," Scully said sarcastically as she grabbed the note from his hand and exited the office. ******************************************* FBI Headquarters Washington DC May 20, 1999 11:30 am Scully came back from her department meeting to find a white business envelope on her desk. She carefully picked it up and noticed the only writing on it was the name Mary. she thought as she picked up the envelope and opened it. She figured that someone must have delivered it to the wrong office. She was hoping that the content of the letter would provide clues as to who the owner of the envelope was. Written on the piece of legal sized paper was: Mary, Who are you?' Scully picked up her phone and dialed Mulder's extension. "Mulder," He said as he answered his phone. "Mulder, it's me. Can you come to my office," She said. "Sure, I'll be there in a minute." Three minutes later he entered her office out of breath. "What's up Scully?" He asked. "I just got this Mulder," She said as she showed him the envelope and letter. "This is addressed to a Mary. Who is Mary?" "I don't know, but it came the same way the letter came yesterday. This is annoying me Mulder. If someone has something to tell me why don't they just come out and say it rather than send me these messages?" "You know that nothing in life ever comes that easy, Scully. I do think this is from the same person but maybe the intended target is someone named Mary. Yesterday's message was You aren't who you think you are' combined with today's Who are you?'makes me think that the sender is questioning Mary's true identity. Maybe it is some type of secret admirer thing. I wouldn't worry about it. It seems pretty harmless. Do you want to grab some lunch with Natasha and I?" "I have some work to catch up on. The work load didn't stop when I was out sick and I still have a lot to do. Perhaps another day?" She asked. She supposed that she could have gone out to lunch with them but she was growing tired of constantly being in their presence. She was sure that they were sick of her. For the last couple of weeks she ate lunch and dinner with them 4 out of 5 days. She often wondered if she were truly that entertaining as a lunch and dinner companion or they just felt sorry for her being alone all the time. She decided that they needed a break from each other. "Sure, Scully. If you get anymore weird mail let me know," He said as he approached the door. "Don't worry, I will," Scully replied as she turned back towards her work. End of Chapter 12